Monday 31 December 2012

New Year's Revolutions

(No, the title is not a typo).

Hello, again. I remember you. You're those people who went out of their way to read the ramblings of 6 teenagers a while ago, spending actual irreplaceable moments of your existence reading about what Miu thought about fetishes and what sprang to Eli's mind whenever bananas came up in polite conversation.

I hope it was worth it.

All this, and you chose to read about Masturbation Month.
As you may know, provided you haven't been sheltering under a rock for the past few weeks, we're in a time of great change here. A new year is dawning, a new Homo-Journalist is joining us (Hi, Becky!), it's all very exciting. With New Year's, though, comes New Year's resolutions, and I always find those difficult. Now, Homojournal as a whole has a New Year's resolution, "WE WILL ALWAYS POST ON TIME, EVERY DAY, UNLESS DEATH, FLOODING OR WILD TIGERS STOP US.", but what about my own personal one? Get in shape? Take up philately?

Both?
Well, this New Year's, I'm going for the jugular.

You see, since Cretzal, I've become something of a romantic door to door salesman, offering myself to whoever seemed interested. It's not that I don't want a relationship, it's that I've become really, really crap at persevering with them. The last 6 months, I've done something (kissing upwards) with 5 people, and, by and large, I can see at least the possibility of a relationship with all of them. Not always a good one, but a stable one at least. So why am I still the relationship equivalent of a non-stick frying pan? 3 of those 5 account for more than one event each, so why haven't I picked one? Why am I still single, completing revolution after revolution on this horrible roundabout of romance?

No, not that roundabout.
So, as of 00:00:00, on the 1st of January 2013, I James I'm-Not-Giving-My-Surname-Away, hereby swear to persevere more with any romantic events that occur, as far as reason and statutory laws will allow, because life's too short to waste flitting unendingly from one place to another

I shall keep you updated, Constant Readers.

Yours determinedly,

James

No, I won't tell you the names of the 5. If you really want to know, do some research of your own, but if I find you outside my house at 04:30, digging through the bins, I'm calling the Police.



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