Garden Swings, Swingers and Tinkerbell...

I outgrew the kiddies swing set in my back garden around the age of sixteen, when I was thrown into the world of leather sex swings and swinging couples. Well, I exaggerate a little, leather sex swings are still on my to do list. Swinging, sharing partners or being in an open relationship are ideas that looks brilliant on paper - like building a set of wings out of feathers and wax and taking a closer look at the sun - but in reality it starts off hot, and before you know it you’re falling through the sky never to be seen again.

So I lied, sue me, that swing set will always have a place in my heart.

The problem, of course, is the green eyed monster. While in our minds it’s fine for our better halves to have as much freedom as they want, in our hearts there’s a little lion that says "rawr" and digs his claws in until it hurts. It starts off fun, makes things interesting, but it quickly becomes a tug and pull on your heartstrings.

Now, to those of you thinking jealousy would be a turn on or that you wouldn't even get jealous, I will give a few words of warning. Some people find it easy to separate sex and emotions, to me sex can be just sex, but it can also be more. Bully for us. This doesn’t mean swinging is a good idea. Jealousy is spawned from insecurity, something even the cold hearted bitches amongst us are victims of.  Sooner or later you start to wonder if those girls’ boobs are bigger than yours, if he likes her hair better and so on.

As a bisexual I suspect there can be even more insecurity rising up from the cavernous gender divide. What if your bisexual counterpart has a craving for washboard abs and goatee? As a girl the only penis I can offer is silver and made of silicone. What if they’re bored of vagina and fancy their chances with a guy instead of a girl? Or vice versa? These are all things to think carefully about when coming up with open relationship agreements.

Human beings are a strange species; we often find the things that can hurt us the most coveted. With that temptation in mind added to my own sluttiness of course, I can understand why swinging is more and more a common occurrence. Playing with fire is fun, but better watch out you don’t get burnt! You’ve got to be careful that the real reason you want to spice things up by swapping partners isn’t that there is nothing left to spice up. Your relationship has to be strong for swinging to work, and, as we all know, relationships that strong are fairy dust.

90% of people in a happy open relationship are lying, maybe to you, maybe to themselves, maybe to both.

So, having put forward my distrust of swingers, I now have to give you the other side of the argument. I have an older friend whose girlfriend has been studying in America. They've been dating for years and at first the separation was hard for them. They both wanted to carry on dating each other but the thought of a dry spell lasting several years was a painful one. After a bit of fumbling around, they decided on what I like to call a "closed open relationship"; like a closed adoption but more confusing. Basically, they do whatever with whomever and don’t tell each other about it. Apparently the secrecy prevents the jealous issue rearing its ugly head. Personally, I think it would just allow my imagination to run wild and drive me mad. Nevertheless, it clearly worked for them; this September they’ll be reunited, the open relationship deals will come to an end, they'll get married and run off into the sunset. 

En sommaire, if swinging is your thing, THINK ABOUT IT. Talk about it, and continue to talk about it after your swinging exploits have begun. I don't mean share all the gory details, I mean share your *shudders with 
horror* actual feelings about it. 


Lots of Love,
Mel
xxx