BDSM for dummies

For the people who have always been curious, but too embarrassed to ever research this.

Dom: The person who inflicts the pain/pleasure and is in control. Otherwise known as domme (for female doms). Often given a nickname dependant on the level of the dom/sub relationship e.g. daddy or sir

Sub: The submissive, can be known as pet or slave, again dependant on the level of relationship.

Scene: A scene is a one time bdsm experience - it is possible to enact scenes with people you may not have an intimate relationship with.

Collaring: sub/dom pairs who do more than just the occasional scene may choose to literally put a collar on the sub, as a sign they are in that kind of relationship, normally used by more serious couples.

Munch: A meet up of many like minded people who want to meet potential new dom/subs or just socialise.

Sensation play: literally playing with the senses, normally involves cutting one off (such as using blindfolds) and different textures and temperatures, like ice and hot wax.

Edge play: the dangerous stuff: knives and blood basically  

Contract: despite its reputation for danger and abuse, the people who are serious about this lifestyle are normally very careful to ensure that all parties involved are safe; this sometimes involves a literal contract before, stating what will happen if things do actually go wrong

Soft limits: any experienced dom/sub will have a list of things they do and don’t like, just because you like some aspects of bdsm doesn’t mean you’re going to like them all. A soft limit is something you’re concerned about but would be willing to try given the right situation. For example a dom might be unwilling to try using proper whips until they felt they had adequate training.

Hard limits: things you would never consider. It’s an abuse of trust for a dom to break a hard/soft limit without prior permission.

Safe word: sometimes things do just get too much, a sub or even a dom can yell a word and everything will stop, at once. My favourites are physics related, no one will ever mistake “thermodynamics” as a cry of passion. When using gags often a bell can be used as a substitute for a safe word. NEVER PLAY WITHOUT A SAFEWORD READY!

Vanilla: refers to inexperience, such as a dom or sub new to the lifestyle. Can also refer to non bdsm relationships/sex, a dom or sub may choose to have 'vanilla' sex from time to time. 

Play safe my little readers,

Todostrieb

Sticks and Stones May Break My Bones But Whips And Chains Excite Me.

Ahh fetishes, my old friends. From abasiophilia to zoosadism and everything in between, it seems that in the world of sex, anything goes. Who are we to judge if a large percentage of serial killers get their jollies from -umm there’s no graceful way to say this- piss and shit? And who’s to say that spending time as a table or chair for your master isn’t a valid use of an afternoon?

I have one general rule when it comes to sex: I’ll try anything once.

Of course there are a few exceptions. Anything that is unhygienic and messy to the point of death I’d be reluctant to try. Animals? No thanks. Shit? No way. And obviously anything involving unplanned noncon or minors is a big no no.

And then of course there are the things that I might be up for but would have no desire to discover I actually enjoyed. I don’t particularly want to know if autoerotic asphyxiation is one of my kinks. Where do I go afterwards? There are some things I am probably better off not knowing about myself, lest I get carried away one day. Let’s just say I have enough fetishes to be going on with, without anything involving near death experiences, murder or cannibalism.

Are fetishes normal? ABSOLUTLEY! Even middle aged housewives have fantasies and certain kinks. One of my aunts imagines Edward Cullen while she and her slightly-balding overweight husband are doing the nasty. I cannot approve of a Twilight fetish, but I have nothing against teeth in general.

Now for your entertainment (drum-roll please) some of the slightly less normal fetishes. I am addicted to everything Sherlock Holmes; the films, the TV series, the novels. I even find the actors....well, down right sexy. Whilst idly wasting my time on Tumblr one fine evening, trying not to revise, I found a blog called  Dirty Sherlock Secrets, which sounded tempting. Now, I try not to judge my fellow fangirls too harshly, after all, a relatively large portion of my time is spent reading porn and watching it; but some of the confessions on this website just made me laugh whilst others made me want to weep for what mess humanity has been reduced to.

I thought this was really sweet until I read the last line. My poor poor innocent eyes.

Although...I must confess that I still follow this blog with the same horrible fascination that provokes me to pick scabs, poke bruises and look at roadkill.

Another fetish I struggle to wrap my head around is large age gaps. I’m all for the older woman...or man. A little silver hair is hot. A few wrinkles look wise. I draw the line at Dumbledore porn.

I read FanFiction (Oh God I’m a nerd help me). I will happily whittle away time reading Harry & Draco pairings, Harry & Hermione, Sirius & Remus....in fact I may as well say that I do not judge when it comes to fictional couples, threesomes, foursomes and moresomes. EXCEPT...I will never ever read a story that pairs Harry and Dumbledore together in a sexual way. Seriously. Who would enjoy reading about what must be statutory rape, an abuse of trust and a skinny, wrinkly, bearded old man?

Is that a wand in your pocket or are you just happy to see me sir?

I also want to say, that, despite my obsessions (ok...ok...I admit fetishes) for the Dr Who, Harry Potter and Sherlock fandoms, I do not get off on imagining people who don’t actually exist. Alas, I am partially a rationalist, if I ever tried to imagine getting down and dirty with Buffy the vampire slayer, the sheer hilarity of the situation would soon distract me from my goal.

Now, back to the relevance of this post to the homo-journal. As far as I’m concerned, being bi-sexual opens up a whole new world of fetish and kink opportunities to you. I can actually enjoy all parties in a mixed gender threesome, and experiment with any other advantages the male and female physique have to offer me.

A word to the wise though, being caught up against a tree in a park is just plain embarrassing.

Whips, chains and hot candle wax to all my readers.

Love, Mel.

PS. It was night-time.

You WILL read my post about fetishes, or I'll spank you.

Fetishes and paraphilias are everywhere in modern society. You can't go anywhere without seeing the latest all-leather fashion line, or an episode of Criminal Minds detailing a serial killer with an obsession with shoes.

"I must kill until I can find the perfect brogue."

But how many of us can actually say that we have one? As in a full, "bring out the whip and the curried mayonnaise" fetish, that we can't get off without? Because that's the mark of a real "fetish" - you absolutely can't have any kind of "happy ending" without it. So whenever you're having hot, passionate sex with your significant other (because that's all my readers do when they're not reading my posts), and you suddenly think "Hey, I could really get into you wearing a trout costume right now..." just know that it's just you being a little weird, and not a fetish, and that you should probably seek treatment.

Pictured above: not the result of a stable, balanced mind.

But how about the real fetishes? The ones that have practically become necessary to your sexual happiness? Well, I'm glad you asked, Constant Reader, because I'm about to tell you. What's that? You didn't ask? Well, shut up, I'm telling you anyway, it's the bloody theme of the week and everything!

"Let me show you why you're going to do everything I say from now on."

To illustrate the difference between fetishes and normal (or abnormal) experimentation, let's take two men (as I always like to do), "Derek" and "Mark". Let's say that Derek asks his loving partner to dress up as a piece of gouda when in bed, because he feels that it would be exciting and he's a little weird like that. Derek's loving partner, understandably, politely declines.

"You've always loved dairy more than me - we're through."

Derek cuts his losses at this point to avoid being beaten by his loving partner, and they go off to have the usual, wildly passionate sex that my readers are always having. Thus, his demands for cheese-related sexual acts aren't a fetish, because as soon as some resistance was put up he did the normal thing and took whatever he could get.

Mark, however, is a different case altogether. He has a thing for clocks (with an "l"). When he asks his beautiful partner to dress up as a clock, he has to hope that they're in an agreeable mood, because if he has a real, serious fetish for them then if they decline he won't be having any happy times.



The fact that this actually exists makes me question my decision to stay on this planet.

So, as you can see, having a fetish isn't quite as light-hearted and easy an experience as one might think - it requires quite a lot of input. If you have a serious fetish, in the event of your particular fetish being unavailable ("We're sorry, but we can't find the whip you're searching for."), you'll just have to go have a cold shower or something.

Anyway, I'm off to do unspeakable things to Cretzal now, so it's adieu for now, Constant Reader, but feel free to email me at homojournal@gmail.com, and I might respond after I'm done,

James.

I had to Google "clock fetish" on my school account, I'm waiting for the letter saying I have a therapist appointment to arrive.

The Cross vs. The Queer

When faced with the opportunity of writing a post for Homo-Journal I thought: ‘Wtf would I write about when I can’t even come up with posts for my own blog?’ Well I’ve decided to take a break from my laziness and write about something close to my heart and one of the greatest subjects ever to grace this precious earth; can you be gay and be a Christian?

This dilemma became apparent to me in secondary school, when I met someone who inspired me hugely. She was funny, bubbly and beautiful, and she really knew how to make people smile (or cry depending on her mood). But I questioned myself: how could I be attracted to a girl but not rock the boat that is my Christian upbringing? I go to church, I read the bible and I pray; but all the time I was doing these things, I felt pure guilt because it is said in the bible that “If a man also lies with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them."

Well then I thought fuck it. I had to choose between my feelings or my religion. Some would advise me ‘scrap the religion and just get on with it’. Others would say ‘God is going to condemn you because you like breasts’. But when you know something is real, the fact that others can’t see it themselves doesn’t excuse ignoring it. I weighed my heart and soul and came to the conclusion that the Bible is a text written 2000 years ago by men (I promised myself I would lock up the feminist within for my own blog, but she broke free) and that from my own experiences of God, and not religion, I have steered towards His omnipotence and benevolence.

Summary: So although I am straight, I think that the female form is one of the most beautiful and intricate forms that God has ever created, and I compare women’s bodies to flowers; never the same yet special in their own way. Does that make me gay? I don’t think so. I think that death metal is just noise but that doesn’t make me a hater. What’s important is that I know I am a 17 year old mixed race girl who is loved by God and loves him back regardless of my sexual preferences.  Since coming to this conclusion, I feel that I need to show some love to all those Confused Christians out there.

A little tip: If you're a Christian and you are struggling with your sexuality. Talk to God. Not your mum, or your youth leader or your friends. Only God can show you truth. With regards to the Bible, take it like a shot: with a pinch of salt.

Feel free to comment, argue, spit on or laugh at this post J Check out my blog as well.

SAAAAAFFFEEEE

Man-up! If they don't want gay... be as gay as you can be!

I am sure we all know that the only thing more irritating than someone annoying you accidentally is someone annoying you deliberately. At which point you just feel like either stuffing yourself with antidepressants (and cake) or taking out your alarmingly-crotch-height guillotine as revenge. But have you ever been on the "dark side"? How many times have you done something just because you were told not to? I know I have, plenty of times! Especially with James. Let me explain.

James sometimes (always) talks. Now sometimes (often) people ignore him. This makes James really frustrated because he has something really interesting to say, but people keep interrupting him (!). Finally he shouts: "Stop cutting me off! I'm trying to say something" (you should hear him, it is very funny). Anyways… James has finally got the attention he wanted and having gotten everyone to SHUT UP, he starts again: "As I was trying to say-" and once again he is promptly interrupted; but this time deliberately, maliciously  and hence, most irritatingly. It is quite entertaining to watch (ok, yes, I do it all the time).  And we keep going until his face looks like this

*sobs* Why won't they stop? I want mummy!

Ok, ok so maybe he looks  more like this…

If you don't stop now I'm going to murder you!

Oh lol… Wait what was the point of this? Ah yes, why not do the same with Gay-bashers? After all, you know what they say

Then again, having seen that second face (or keeping in mind that guillotine) you might want to reconsider. Although there is the lucky possibility of them running away crying because you are unaffected by their pathetic insults, you may also end up just making them angry and beating the crap out of you :D So before you decide to take on this approach, my advise is to consider who you are dealing with. If it is a short-tempered tall muscly guy who could crush you with one finger than you might want to lay low.

Nevertheless, you may also decide to toughen up, work out and build yourself an unbreakable character to go up to that bully and make him wished he never crossed your path muahahah. Hey don't judge me you'll understand if you look at this!

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Ff_6VsRuas

Oh come on! Did you not think that was amazing!? :D

Sure, if you are not the violent type you can always take on a more… loving approach?

Oh boy, can you really say that with a straight (non-sarcastic) face?

I just came across this article on the guardian app thingy on Facebook and… I have no words. I find it really appalling. "London buses have been booked to carry a Christian advertising campaign expected to start next week, which asserts the power of therapy to change the sexual orientation of gay people."

The anti-gay advertising campaign blocked by TfL to be shown on London buses

I mean, are you fucking serious!? I think this is one of those things that arise from ignorance as my fellow bloggers have already said and its people that just refuse to open their minds and think otherwise. It is something that makes me really sad… I mean, take for example the fact that they expressly support a practice that has been deemed, by every respectable psychiatric in the world, abusive and ineffective. Is that something that free speech covers? Advertising in favour of abuse? Maybe so, but is it something we as consumers should tolerate? The fact that a company would allow that type of advertising...

Although gay-bashers may be scary, one ought to remember that, as with all bigotry, the thing that gay bashers are - more than ignorant, more than stupid - is frightened. I mean "homoPHOBIA", it's right there in the bloody name! They are frightened because they are ignorant, and because they are frightened they are dangerous, nasty and angry.

The "solution" to this problem, for society, could be to alleviate their fear through education and (not to be too grim about it) indoctrination (the good kind). However, for the individual facing this problem, his or her solution is obvious - you frighten them, so get frightening.

We are always here for any advice (though I do not guarantee it would be good), but that's all for today. Don't forget I'll be back next week!

Love,

Miu xx

P.S. Don't forget to e-mail us at homojournal@gmail.com for any questions, comments, request or if you are bored and have nothing better to do. We are available 24/7 (that is 24 minutes every 7 hours) so try your luck!

4 easy ways to protect yourself from gay-bashing.

It seems that out of all of our homo-journalists, I'm the only one who has been gay-bashed at some point. I'm not going to go into much detail about it now, that's for coming out week, but let it be said that the gay-bashing has now stopped, and much like James, any gay-bashing that does come my way, I tend to take in good humour.

If, on the other hand, you are still being gay-bashed (I promise you it does stop - see the video at the top of the blog), here are 4 easy, untested and untried ways to protect yourself from it.


1: Know thine enemy
Most of the people who bash gays in a non-sexual way, tend to be homophobic. So, after having safely evaluated and weighed up the potential dangers, opportunities to be stabbed, opportunities to be shot, and opportunities for cock, get to know some homophobic people. Perhaps this is the example I couldn't think of last week about stereotypes not being useful to anyone. Well, I lied, they might be useful here.

Once you get to know some homophobic people, take what they have in common, and use it to your advantage. For example, if you know they're all complete mummy's boys, when they come at you and your boyfriend/girlfriend wielding a machete or an AK-47, threaten them with "I know where you live and I'll tell your mummy." Remember to take pleasure in the look of absolute terror that that line will strike into them, and once you've done that, make good your escape.

2: Alienate your friends and family 
In order to be able to survive gay bashing/homophobia/whatever you want to call it, you need a thick skin. Rather than stand in front of the mirror shouting "rectum raider" and other such insults at yourself (although that might be a good way to start immunising yourself from the 'phobes), ask pay your boyfriend/girlfriend/brother/sister/mum/dad/best friend/etc to do so for you. This gets you used to other people insulting you, and since the insults are coming from the people you know, it'll ultimately hurt you more than what some tosser outside the tube station will say to you.

This will obviously come with considerable side effects, such as losing contact with friends and the immediate family, and may end your relationship with your other half, so be warned, this is a dangerous option. If side effects persist, you should seek advice from your GP...

3: Sign a peace treaty in Jelly Babies and Vodka 
It's a well-known fact that everybody on the planet adores Jelly Babies and Vodka. You should use this to your advantage and draw up a peace treaty of Jelly Babies and Vodka; you hand over x kilos of Jelly Babies in return for the same amount of Vodka for you and your significant other to either drink, fuel your getaway car with, or both.

4: Straight-bashing
What makes the heteros of the world so different from the homos anyway? >.<

(Disclaimer: Any fool who actually tries any of the above is a fool. These have not been tried and tested for effectiveness, and will probably result in you and your other half getting more hurt than you would have done had you just ignored it and moved on.)

Gay-Bashing-Tastic

Ah, the joys of being gay bashed… being called fag, pervert, queer, faggot, gaylord… and irrationally beaten.. it definitely has to be one of the perks of being gay. It’s why so many people choose to be gay or lgbtq: the hating and the abuse.

*sighs*

Mostly, homophobia and extreme homophobia is a result of pure ignorance. Perhaps we should inform them each time they’re mean, pull out your the Joys Of Being Gay A-Z Guide, and follow them relentlessly. This works the best if you can manage to sneak up on them while they’re in the school loo cubicles. Just whisper through the walls…

If that doesn’t work, we need to get onto Plan B: a big school assembly, where we show straight anal sex, gay anal sex, and lesbian strap-on anal sex videos, to show that everything is as grim as each other, why discriminate?

Obviously, a very relevant picture.. I did't just add it here because I liked it...

Although, in hindsight, that might not be as good an idea as I’d imagined when I came up with it. It’ll probably get me expelled, or suspended… then I would be forced to go into the porn industry to earn my livings, or worse, I may end up in McDonalds. I shall have to reconsider.

I, personally, like other homojournalists, haven’t had much experience with gay-bashing. The only person who I’ve remotely been gay-bashed by would be my younger brother, but he stopped when I said to him one day “I think I might be gay…” . Though the stoppage may be because we’re no longer on speaking terms…

My point is, the shouts of “GAY” and “FAGGOT” doesn’t seem to be intentionally a homophobic hate crime, its just as stupid as the shouts of “FUCK OFF”.. the swear words don’t really make sense. As was mentioned earlier, just laughing at them works, although, I sometimes fear that that technique led to me reverse-psychologically-bullying my brother. Personally, I love the word gay, it's a very joyous and colourful word, saying "..and PROUDDD!" in a sing-song voice with a bit of swagger (you know what I mean... if not, you disappoint me), may be an idea, why be ashamed? Questioning it also amuses me.. “what is a faggot? Who is off? Do you think I’d fancy him or her? Maybe I’d fuck her…”.

JennaMarbles youtube vid "How to avoid talking to people you don't want to talk to", will be useful to you guys.. her technique definitely can be applied here.

I haven't really addressed the violence, I don't know whether I can; but I have been midget-bashed before. I was blessed with shortness. I found that the more I fought it (and I was a very violent midget), the more they seemed to get a thrill out of the bullying. Even though I kicked, scratched and punched them, and they bled, they still came back. Perhaps it’s the adrenaline rush? I have no idea. But as soon as I stopped fighting it, and just stood there with a bank look on my face every time, they soon got bored and found their next victim to play with.

CCTV footage :'(

So for petty gay-bashing:

1. Be in your own world, don’t acknowledge them. Just stand there, and show them no sign of being distressed, or bothered by it
2. Laugh at them, to yourself.. . but only if you want to annoy them. Be careful. I have had a knife pointed at me once due to this..
3. Pull a weird face, like in the jennamarbles' vid

And if you’re feeling adventurous, lean forward, whisper in their ear “people tend to go through a really homophobic phase, right before they finally accept they’re gay, and come out”, and proceed to drag them into the nearest closet. They’ll run, or might get to have fun <3

For serious gay-bashing, when these people look REALLY dodgy, just try to get the hell away, as soon as possible.

You don't want to end up like one of the many bashed and dead. Type in "gay-bashing" into google images. Its horrifying.

Eli x

Comment me your favorite ones, it will make life less dull, and help me procrastinate. Don't forget to subscribe and message us, on homojournal@gmail.com

Revenge....nomnomnomnomnom

As an avid tumblr I see stories every day of the abuse teenage lbgt receive daily, and if instead of a black hole I had a heart, it would break. Lots of these posts have been jokey so to keep you on your toes I thought I’d give some actual advice.

My first idea is to tell you not to listen, they’re not worth it, and they’re idiots who will soon realise the error of their ways. But one of the hardest parts of this is that it is often those closest to you that cannot accept you. Rory's speaking about having crushes on some of his best friends in a couple of weeks time; we’ve all been there, even if you’re straight chances are you experimented a little. I’m looking at you Miu.

When those you love most can’t accept you, it might make you feel helpless. Keep trying! Don’t give up! There is hope they might come round and see your side of things.

1. Try getting another person close to you to explain how they were able to accept it.
2. Inform them, some fear is bred from ignorance, there are many organisations and website out there that can give information and advice. After a quick google my favourite is “Being gay is okay”
3. Give them time, maybe they just need to think it over and realise that your sexuality shouldn’t matter to them
4. If the problem stems from religion (I found an organisation for that too) maybe using religious arguments will work in turn. Love thy neighbour anyone?

Sorry, I’m not an expert, and my advice might not help at all, but if you’re having problems with homophobia, or just plain bullying, I urge you to get in contact with one of these organisations. But if you just want someone to talk to, we’re here….there’s an email somewhere….

Failing all that, here are some nice ideas for revenge:

1. Sewing shrimp into their sheets, it will take them forever to work out where the smell is coming from
2. Pay a girl to meet your parents and pretend to be pregnant, it should put things into perspective from them
3. This is a tad petty but quote them on tumblr and watch the support role in, then show them how bigoted they really are
4. Spam their Facebook, literally write “spam” EVERYWHERE
5. During arguments stay cool, calm and collected, and as a response laugh, it is the most annoying thing you could ever do
6. Train a legion of killer penguins
7. Lace their soup with pepper
8. Offer to make coffee/tea and repeatedly pretend to believe they like it with salt instead of sugar
9. Get an army of your friends to dress up in rainbow sheets and follow them around
10. Sneak into their house a la Amélie and:
1. Put a pin in a lamps wire
2. Change the speed dial to a mental health service
3. Rearrange their drawers
4. Stick chairs to the ceiling
5. Take a psychological shot in the dark and write a note “ I know what you did…..”

Preventing Gay Bashing step 1: possess a vagina and two X chromosomes

The last bully I ran into ended up with a leg broken in 3 places. Whilst I can neither confirm nor deny my involvement in the incident causing these injuries, I like to think that justice was done.

This idiot didn’t make fun of me for being gay. Nobody has. I’ve never been told I’m unnatural or a freak. Nobody has ever treated me differently when I told them I’m bisexual. In fact the common reaction is indifference, or, in the odd case, curiosity and arousal. Of course, I would never presume that being a bisexual female is turn on for guys; we all know it’s my amazing  tits and personality that create my sex appeal.

The point stands. I have been bullied for being smart (by which I mean being a nerdy know-it-all) and for having a weird looking leg, but have never been treated badly for my sexuality.

I’d also like to think, that if somebody did have a problem with my sexuality, that I would handle him/her the way I would any other idiot: with self-confidence and patience. The small minded are to be pitied not hated. And if that failed I’m sure I could form an army at short notice to defend my honour.

I have held hands with girls in public, I have hugged girls in public, I have kissed girls in public and nobody has said or done anything. I have the right, as much as anyone, to be with those I care about wherever I like...property laws permitting. I’m not suggesting my girl and I have the right to break into Buckingham palace and fuck in the throne room because we’re queer. But I might go so far as to say, that if my beau was a duck I should be allowed to carry him round and quack to him lovingly as long as I did it with respect for those around me.  

We should all have the freedom to be with those we love and to not be afraid to do so. I can’t help but think a male gay couple might have more trouble than I have had. Even if nobody would say anything, or harm them openly, the fear would be there. Do gay bashing types see women as an easy target? After all these years are we still afraid to hit girls? Probably.

Or, perhaps I’m just lucky?  I live in London after all, maybe there are some big nasty gay bashers waiting around the corner for my girlfriend and I. Not to worry though, I can defend her with my ummm ability to eat vast quantities of frozen yoghurt and reach a top B. Yet, I’d much prefer to think that times are changing and queer relationships are being accepted rather than believe that it is only a matter of time and live my life in fear of an attack.

The LBGTQ community shouldn’t be afraid of people’s opinions. We need to go public; we need to show people that our love and relationships are just as natural as those between a man and woman. Ignorance breeds hatred and it’s our duty to eradicate the ignorance.

I am a Christian. Some Christians say homosexuality is a sin. In reply, I say a consensual relationship or love could never be a sin.

I am a scientist. Some scientists say homosexuality is unnatural. In reply, I say that here are some convincing arguments as to why homosexuality is an evolutionary advantage, and research to suggest the chemical processes causing love between a man and woman are also present in queer couples. But essentially, many species have queer sexual relations why not homo sapiens?

I am a human capable of cognition and speech. Some living, breathing and apparently thinking humans say homosexuality is wrong because if we were all gay the human race would die out. In reply, I say I am not enforcing LGBTQ relationships on the unwilling. I am supporting queer as a lifestyle choice....actually I would probably just slam my head against a wall if someone actually said that to me seriously.

Whilst I have never suffered because of my sexuality there are many many many more people who have. And that’s so wrong it breaks my heart.

As always readers, it’s been a pleasure,

All my love,

Mel.

PS. You can now follow the links on the homepage to our internet network (knights from the land of Tumblr, the faithful facebookians and twitters can now rejoice)!

Gay Bashing - totally my specialist subject...

At first, the topic of gay-bashing excited me. “Finally,” I said aloud, “a chance to really get into some hard hitting writing. A chance to help people who feel oppressed and down-trodden. Most importantly, a chance to write a great article, better than any of my idiotic fellow bloggers’ measly contributions, get noticed by a publisher, write a best selling book and retire at 28 to a mansion full of naked supermodels and Chippendales. And Ezra Miller. Possibly two Ezra Millers.”

Screw any medical advances cloning would lead to, I want my sex slaves first.

But, just as my (admittedly wildly off-topic) reverie was getting interesting, I noticed an issue. While I definitely come under the definition "gay" at times, it's the "bashing" bit that leaves a little to be desired (I never thought I'd have to say that in my lifetime). Put quite simply, I have no strategies to avoid gay-bashing because I've never been gay-bashed. 

I've often wondered why, and the closest I can come to an answer is that, whenever people have tried, I've taken it in good humour as a matter of reflex. I suppose that's why I can also say I've never really been bullied at all. Someone mocks me for my height, I point out I can easily headbutt them in the groin. Someone says I look and sound effeminate; I let them know that that makes me more marketable in Korea. Someone says my teeth are screwed up, I bite them. 

All in good humour.

While it's almost 101% certain that people have tried to gay-bash me, I just haven't noticed, because I'm used to taking anything negative said about me and twisting into something humorous (or painful for them, which is humorous for me). Also of note is that, out of my group of friends at college, 7/22 are somewhere near the middle or far-right of the Kinsey Scale, with yet more outside of college. Given that a single homosexual has the power to take over an entire friend group with their fabulousness, it can definitely be said that I exist in a world that's far more conducive to straight-bashing than gay-bashing, to the point that some of my friends probably feel actually quite threatened by my existence. 

They're probably quite right to be worried, my bedroom wall is covered in photos like these.

As such, I'm afraid to say that I'm probably not the best person to ask about how to avoid gay-bashing, because I actually kind of feed on it. Actually, I suppose that's the best advice I can give. Treat gay-bashing like fire: yes it can hurt you, yes it can scar you, but it's also a source of energy, and once you're practised in using it to your advantage, it becomes quite fun.

You may also become a superhero.

Once again, homojournal@gmail.com, open to rants, raves, and party invitations.

Until next time, Constant Reader,

James

Rainbow Human Torch should really be a gay meme or something, I mean, come on, it has everything: he's cool, a good role model and he's literally hot. 

Quantum homo mechanics? - Our Guest Slave Jake

I’m Jake. This is the first time I’ve ever really talked about the existence or non-existence of my homo or “bi-ness” to anyone other than my hamster Sid.

Sid agrees with me that if I had lead a different life (or been present in a different reality) I may never had fallen in love with the big arms and the hairy chests. Still, it took me many girlfriends to realise the female scorn for masculine emotional literacy wasn’t really what I needed.

I, among with some of the other bi-sexuals, have come to understand the bizarre fascination and hatred that those ‘of heterosexual origin’ have for us ‘strange breed’. It stands to reason that the way the majority feels must be the correct way of feeling, and that anything other is subnormal.

There is not much I can say to that argument above. However if I enjoy playing with men and having men play with me, then I don’t mind being a subcategory! I can just feel happy that while every homophobic man shudders at the thought, I can turn it into pleasure.

Easter. My parents love it. My dad especially loves commenting on the sub-human nature of homosexuals. I’m still saving this homo bombshell from his only son for another argument... for a time when I leave home.

I can’t say it doesn’t get to me - that I haven’t told my family - I only really tell my friends if they ask. Many do not think that I am even remotely homo, and if I am then I must hide it really well. I hide because I have to, not because I want to.

Still counting the seconds to the revolution brothers and sisters!

Keep on loving.
Jake xXx

A guest post from lav

Finally, I have a chance to introduce myself, my name is Lavender. Eli may have mentioned having an alter ego at 13, well Lavender was mine. I'm not yet 18, but I'm definitely getting closer. I honestly didn't think I'd have a chance to blog on the all mighty homo-journal though I confess I've been here all along.

I'm the stand in for anyone who may have been abducted for the day. Don't worry I don't count on it happening very often. It deffo seems like Cretzal’s been kidnapped  :o I tried to write this in advance to the theme of a particular week but I didn’t and now I just feel pressured in saying something! Anything as long as it has the words stereotypes in it. What would the world be like without the word stereotype, stereotyping, or stereotyped! It can’t be. A new word will take its place. Besides I think you could look at it from any direction everyone will have a different opinion. Most are glad and wouldn’t like to deny who they’ve been “classified” as; they want a title, a group they think they belong to, and people they have things in common with. I think I’d be classified as half normal, in that stage where I can be majorly spazzy and then just a tad fantabby tastic, spaztastic ;) But then if I were to be compared with other people then I’d be the NORMAL one. NORMAL- wouldn’t you rather be weird, someone with a personality, classified as “unique!”

There’s also that huge bad gut feeling most people get when they think about the word stereotyping. The people who have been put into a category and hate it, get bullied, being called names. It’s one of the worst attract to being stereotyped. Do you really get a choice? Or even a say on what other people think or say about you. I guess I would tell those people: someone wise once told me that if you’re proud of whom you are, then what other people stereotype you as should keep you standing, head held high, because they have just described that person you’re happy to be, that person you’re proud of. Be yourself, because there is a 99.999...% chance that someone out in that big blue and green planet is just like you and loves who you are. If you can’t imagine it, then think bigger, the universe needs someone like you. Someone they can finally classify as UNIQUE! (For real this time).

That’s the END of this stereotypical week. Did you just see what I did there? Oh I forgot to mention that I'm not very funny on paper, soz... I think I got through my first post with a reasonably good amount of stuff- it was a bit like being on TV, except the going back and being able to change what you say... although I can’t think of what I could have said if I erase what I have said. Hmmm, the conundrum of having said utter rubbish.

I didn’t mention my sexuality, urm...well you can guess! I’ll just give you my opinion at the end of the week.

Lav xxx

OMG! Is that a Stereotype I see??

Well hello there special followers (I'm hoping there is at least 1 person following us :P)

We have now reached the much awaited weekend and on this fabulous Saturday morning I am here to discuss the stereotypical subject of stereotypes! I said fabulous cause I could see this tiny ray of sunlight peering through my bedroom shades; little did I know that - England being what it is -  when I opened the shades the sun had been covered by a thick sheet of clouds and it is now raining. Oh English weather… it always lives up to stereotypes don't you think?

Do not fear! I will not fall into the (yet other) stereotype of English people always talking about the weather; let me enlighten you. My name is Miu, no it is not a typical name and no I am not sure it is even real but that is not the point. I am the straight (at least 99% so) token/mascot of this insane group of non-hetero entities. I chose to write on Saturdays because, let it be said, it is the BEST day. I am 18 and NOT English, so what am I? Well that is a very good question that even the most esteemed philosophers or scientists have not been able to answer, so let it just be said that I am… [missing to protect identity]  or more simply: I just AM. To quote my dear friend (and by "friend" I mean "that idiot!") Descartes "Ego sum. Ego existo. (I am. I exist.)" Though I'm not even sure about that!

Now back to the point. Stereotypes. Most people hate them. Why? Because they are a way of passing judgement on a person merely based on ethnicity, gender, culture, religion, colour, height… and many many others. And of course, we insecure little humans just hate to be judged! I mean seriously, everyone around us is judging us in someway or another; even you are judging me in this exact moment while reading this blog. You are deciding whether I am just a crazed teenager or in need of serious medical attention. On the other hand you may also be considering how awesome I am, in which case carry on. The fact is, we do not hate the "nice" stereotypes. I don't see any African man going around saying: "Hey! How dare you say I have a big penis!?" But I do hear Indian/Japanese guys crying out: "its not true! Its not true!"
I once heard someone say (or probably just read it on FB)

"I live three lives:
○ The one I live everyday
○ The one people say I live
○ And the one my parents think I live"

Now I found that quite funny, as I too seem to live three lives - though probably even more. What about you? If it does apply to you then sorry honey, but you are a stereotypical teenager (or human being)! Now why did I used "stereotypical" rather than just "typical"? No matter the definition (thank you James!) they essentially have the same meaning. What makes us hate it so much is the negative connotations that come with it. We don't want to be put in a closed box. It is when people only see the stereotype and refuse to see the real person that it all becomes really annoying. But stereotypes aren't bad in themselves.

I tend to consider myself as...unique. I am not you r typical gal. Yet even I have fallen into a stereotype. I'm sitting at my desk writing on a blog while spinning around in my chair and lovingly wearing my boyfriend's oversized hoodie to comfort me while he is away! Nevertheless, stereotypes exist for a reason. Although most are not accurate, people really tend to behave similarly. It's a fact that most English people have their 5 o'clock tea. Call it stereotype, tradition or culture, in the end there's not much difference.

Either way I still find it amazing when you meet that ONE person who fits a stereotype perfectly! I think they are a rare endangered species that should be protected… or locked up - I mean looked after - in a museum for people to watch!

I think you've had enough of me by now so I will leave you to hopefully start a debate on whether what I said is utter bullshite (not a typo, read it as appropriate) or incredibly clever or perhaps insane. The latter tends to include the other two into one.

Do not despair, I'll be back next week!

Love,

Miu

P.S. Don't forget to e-mail us at homojournal@gmail.com for any questions, comments, request or if you are bored and have nothing better to do. We are available 24/7 (that is 24 minutes every 7 hours) so try your luck!

P.P.S. [ok that's a total lie that was true erm... a few days ago... now well... just drunk typing on the computer while my other fellow bloggers are getting off with each other LOL what a stereotype right?]

Seems I'm the only gay in the village....

On a blog called 'homo-journal'. Funny that...

Anyways, hi all, welcome to Friday on HJ! I'm Rory, and I'm 18, gay, and completely obsessed with Music and Film and TV. When I'm not being depressed/stressing/drinking beer/eating chocolate/a combination of those 4, you'll probably find me at the piano, writing music, or obsessing fanboying over shows like Doctor Who and Sherlock, although I personally don't think I'm obsessed. Every Friday I'm going to offer up my views on pretty much anything, LGBT related or not, and I promise I'll try and make it vaguely humourous...

So, this week's theme is Stereotypes. I HATE stereotypes to the point where even hearing the word makes me shudder. A lot of people argue that they can be useful, temporarily, but if after a while they become useless, then what's the point of them in the first place? It's a bit like when you shopping for a new TV or something. You go shopping to buy a TV you can use for ever and ever until the bloody thing becomes too old and decrepid to stand up on its own, er, stand. You don't go and buy a TV temporarily until it no longer suits your needs....... do you?

They cause more harm than good, too, as far as I'm concerned. Seriously, coming out (more on that in a couple of weeks time) would have been so much easier if there weren't any bloody stereotypes. I also think that they're far too generic to fit even one person, let alone a whole bunch of people. And it's not as if they serve any purpose either... Let's be serious, when was the last time stereotypes were used to benefit someone? I cannot think of an example. Which kinda proves my point: they're stupidly pointless. And the reason why they're pointless, is that everybody is so different, that there's no such thing as 'normal'. Reminds me of the saying "everybody's a foreigner somewhere in the world."

Having said all that, though, I must admit that I do have some of the 'gay'-stereotypes.... I absolutely despise pretty much all forms of sport (taking part and watching >.<), and I'm a pretty artsy sort of guy; I get involved in a lot of music and drama, and probably also too much film and tv  for my own good. And I'm a complete sucker for musicals, they're pretty much the best thing since Doctor Who. But, apart from that, I wouldn't say I'm particularly stereotypically gay.

So, that's all for this week from me, tomorrow's the turn of our straight 'mascot', Miu. Don't forget to leave a comment, and follow our blog, or send us an e-mail at homojournal@gmail.com. Most importantly, is that you don't forget to join us again next week when we get to do it all again (god, I sound like a TV presenter....)

See you next week!
Rory

Eli-types

Finally, the time has come for me to be allowed to introduce myself:

Hola, Eli is my chosen name... I used to be elizabth, when my friends and I had a "Victorian/posh-alter-ego" phase, aged 13, but that has passed now. (now I'm 17 and allllll grown up >.< - clearly. ha.)

Normally I'd claim to be the most totally-innocent person in the world, but be secretly the most macabre and vulgar of our acquaintances, but thinking about our 'group', both are likely to be far far far from the case. Unless you haven't realized already, I will say it: we, not just us on our joyful Homo-journal, but our group of friends, are not reflective of the general population. We are all IB students, or survivors, and a high percentage of us are lgbt.. thats before I mention our clothes, our openminded-ness and what we do in our spare time. I think we allow ourselves to be more strange..

Although one of our group (a non-IBer, *shakes head* 'tis typical), told me I was weird, because my conversations tend to revolve around sex and death.. I'm a budding criminologist (is budding even a word?), if that counts as an explanation. I also have a dark sense of humor, and I feed off of other's awkwardness.. *shrugs* I'm an older sister, what do you expect?

I think stereotypes are pretty boxes, it's our way to categorize all the information we get. There are so many people in the world, that they appear so much easier to deal with if you put them in little categories, detailing their 'average behavior'. The problem is, human beings are too complex, and the more boxes you have, the harder it is to categories people, because Ms fatty is just spilling over into other boxes. My sexuality for example.. My friend S will vouch the fact that before I identified as queer (Aka, refuses to sit in a box), I was running around like a maniac, one box to another, because they didn't feel right, and I suffer from 'the grass is greener on the other side' syndrome. But queer is just what I use. Others can categorize me how they like: they can say I'm a lesbian (I'd prefer 'gay', I hate the word lesbian), because I have a girlfriend, or could say that I am bi, because I previously have had boyfriends. It doesn't make a difference to who I am, just makes it easier for them to deal with me.

That's how criminal profiling works right? 'we think the killer is strong because of the way he has strangled all of his victims..' and then they see if they can narrow down their suspects into categories 'to weak to even pick up sausages', 'flabby, but can obviously pick up large amounts of food', 'muscles!'...

So, to me, stereotypes are boxes. My favorite.. Ohhh, I don't know. I love it when people fit them completed, as much as when they completely don't. I also love the 'ignorant homophobes' them ones that don't really know better. I love the awkwardness >.<


I decided to try map out our homojournal stereotypes, and then get mel to illustrate for me, to prove stereotypes are not always correct :)

here goes:


(notice how I got bored.. and so it's not totally filled out... (sorry >.<)

So, this is the illustration by mel:



Oh no :/// it looks a tad too reflective.
Perhaps I can get away with this by saying that urm... we're all sitting in a perfectly fitting box, and it's great that we managed to create this box forourselves where we don't spill out too much? I mean, look at it, it doesn't have me eating sushi, or rollerskating, or attacking mel...


Eli x

Comment me your favorite ones, it will make life less dull, and help me procrastinate. Don't forget to subscribe and message us, on homojournal@gmail.com

Todostrieb for President of the World

So, you know what the theme of the week is by now, and I would like to take this opportunity to highlight to my readers that four percent of your number are utter fools. Yes, this is vaguely related to the theme, bear with me. Four per cent of you are technophobes; I am of course speaking about the Internet Explorer users among you. But, to keep things on a positive note 65% of you are awesome (the Chromers), congratulations.

The four per cent:

• You live in a hut in the middle of nowhere
• Your parents are wolves
• Your main income is the soul trade
• The internet connection is only so you can check out this awesome blog/ email your mother
• You have a monobrow

The sixty-five per cent:

• You live in a spaceship
• Your parents just commented on your Facebook status
• You make your money blackmailing the FBI with the threat of hacking their website
• You mainly use your internet for reading this awesome blog and keeping in touch with earthbound friends
• You are 5”3, brunette, have hazel eyes and areas sexy as fuck

Obviously I have invented these off the top of my head,which makes them no less accurate than many stereotypes your brain is probably unconsciously holding onto as we speak. What you really need to consider here is why do my ill-formed opinions matter to you? I’m a complete stranger to you (unless you are in my legion of stalkers, in which case, hi), I’ve never met you, and I am judging you. I DON’T MATTER. But my thoughts should have no bearing on how you act; they shouldn’t even upset you, when the stereotypes begin to change how others act towards you it’s a whole different kettle of fish.

For example, as the president of the world, I am introducing a tax on internet explorer users, because my advisors assure me that you are all dangerous soul stealing technophobes. Obviously my advisors have never met one of you; I am allowing stereotypes to affect my actions towards you.

In the real world (sigh) I would like to say this is uncommon, I’d like to think most people can be professional. But there will always be the one person who is lacking the brain cells to reform their opinions, because they are unwilling to let go of a stereotype. Ignore them all.

Sorry that descended into a ramble, my point was this. Don’t fear your stereotypes (unless they’re formed by idiots in a position of power over you), they are not who you are, embrace every part of you even if, god forbid, you’re a hipster. Because I’m sure even you will have redeeming qualities, but remember, I was a teenage girl before it was cool.

Todostrieb is awful.

On a slightly unrelated note does anyone else have problems proving they’re human?

Todostrieb

Stereotypes Day Two- Mel

“I hate to hear you talk about all women as if they were fine ladies instead of rational creatures. None of us want to be in calm waters all our lives.”- Persuasion, Austen

Oh God, I think, I’ve turned into a woman. I am scrubbing a shoe in the sink, sleeves rolled to the elbow and humming Hollywood Undead; so if I am female, let it at least be said I am an amazing one.

And then of course, there’s the whole lesbian stereotype palaver. I am holding a checked flannel shirt lovingly and my girlfriend looks at me eyes narrowed. "You’re such a lesbian," she says completely seriously. Alas, there comes a time when every bisexual with short hair, a girlfriend and a love for hiking boots must ask herself if she has fallen into the butch lesbian trap.

I am in a constant battle with myself to be as feminine and as unfeminine as possible. Some days I wear clothes 3 sizes to big with ripped jeans and others I’ll wear tops so low cut it gives my dad a twitch in his eye. Then it gets even harder; being bisexual means I now fit about 50 different contradictory stereotypes, not just two X chromosomes versus a love for vagina.

I think it’s important for me to say at this point, that I do not go round worrying about these things all the time. Mostly my thoughts are occupied by my maths homework and doughnuts instead of the crushing weight of society’s expectation. This is not a pity party, I think stereotypes can be a practical way of assessing people we haven’t met on a very vague level.

Note how I said people we haven’t met. I do not mean we can judge people before we have met them. I just mean we can develop a vague understanding of a person based on their background and begin to work out what makes them tick. Stereotypes aren’t invented overnight by the evil profit hungry corporations that want to eat our souls; they develop over a long period of time and for a good reason. Of course, after we’ve met a person, the stereotype becomes less relevant. We can, and should form our own opinions without prejudice.

When I posted on facebook about my first driving lesson disasters and someone commented "it’s a gender thing," I was amused not annoyed. When I was drinking espresso in my French friends house I wasn’t thinking "oh god what a cliché." When I used to get blonde jokes I laughed along. Sterotypes are not only practical. They also are funny.

Now of course, I am messing with the natural balance of the universe here. Boo Mel, I hear you cry. Stereotypes are bad. They ruin our self esteem, they destroy our livelihoods and they corrupt our children. Oh, won’t someone please think of the children!

As such, my support for stereotypes comes with a grave warning. No stereotype is accurate. A stereotype cannot tell you who a person is, only they can do that. I am bisexual, it is a fair guess to say I might have some gender issues, and indeed I do.  It is not safe to say that I am a slut. Stereotypes formed of cultural identity are good, those formed out of misunderstanding or fear are not.

I’m Mel, one of the bloggers on Homo-Journal. I’ll be claiming Tuesdays as my territory (Wednesday through Monday are also mine but I lend those to my loyal followers in return for sexual favours). You’ll be hearing a lot more about my changeable opinions on bisexual life and maybe life in general if you stick around. Who knows maybe some of my awesomeness will rub off on you.

Todostrieb is awesome.

We are open to comments, suggestions....dare I say critiques. You can contact us at homojournal@gmail.com.

All my love,

Mel