Sunday, 15 April 2012

The Cross vs. The Queer

When faced with the opportunity of writing a post for Homo-Journal I thought: ‘Wtf would I write about when I can’t even come up with posts for my own blog?’ Well I’ve decided to take a break from my laziness and write about something close to my heart and one of the greatest subjects ever to grace this precious earth; can you be gay and be a Christian?

This dilemma became apparent to me in secondary school, when I met someone who inspired me hugely. She was funny, bubbly and beautiful, and she really knew how to make people smile (or cry depending on her mood). But I questioned myself: how could I be attracted to a girl but not rock the boat that is my Christian upbringing? I go to church, I read the bible and I pray; but all the time I was doing these things, I felt pure guilt because it is said in the bible that “If a man also lies with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them."

Well then I thought fuck it. I had to choose between my feelings or my religion. Some would advise me ‘scrap the religion and just get on with it’. Others would say ‘God is going to condemn you because you like breasts’. But when you know something is real, the fact that others can’t see it themselves doesn’t excuse ignoring it. I weighed my heart and soul and came to the conclusion that the Bible is a text written 2000 years ago by men (I promised myself I would lock up the feminist within for my own blog, but she broke free) and that from my own experiences of God, and not religion, I have steered towards His omnipotence and benevolence.

Summary: So although I am straight, I think that the female form is one of the most beautiful and intricate forms that God has ever created, and I compare women’s bodies to flowers; never the same yet special in their own way. Does that make me gay? I don’t think so. I think that death metal is just noise but that doesn’t make me a hater. What’s important is that I know I am a 17 year old mixed race girl who is loved by God and loves him back regardless of my sexual preferences.  Since coming to this conclusion, I feel that I need to show some love to all those Confused Christians out there.

A little tip: If you're a Christian and you are struggling with your sexuality. Talk to God. Not your mum, or your youth leader or your friends. Only God can show you truth. With regards to the Bible, take it like a shot: with a pinch of salt.

Feel free to comment, argue, spit on or laugh at this post J Check out my blog as well.


  1. let me get this straight:
    -you was confused about your sexuality
    -but the bible is against homosexuality
    -so when faced with the dilemma of religion v.s. sexuality, you chose to repress your sexuality?
    -and yet you say we should take the bible with a pinch of salt...

  2. I think this guest decided in the end she was straight, not to repress her sexuality, many people have periods of confusion over their sexuality.

  3. Thus we are often told "it's only a phase"...
    would it perhaps have been better to say 'listen to your heart and what feels right...' rather than god?

  4. What i meant was that after thinking about my feelings in depth whilst putting my faith in God, i sorted out my true feelings. I never once said that i had repressed my sexuality i am not that sort of person, i just found that what i felt was something to do with my view on aesthetics. If you had read to the end of the post you will find that i advise to trust in God, not the Bible, so yes i say it should be taken with a pinch of salt

  5. The issues surrounding religion and sexuality are sensitive in nature. I'd ask that you appreciate we all differ slightly in our interpretations and solutions to them. From my perspective, listen to my heart and what feels right, is often not all that different to listening to God. To somebody of a different religion, or without one or who has a different relationship with God may not think the same. All in all, if I'm taking sides, I have found myself led astray far for often by people's words than my the word of God.

  6. Oh dear...grammar failage apologies.


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