As a bisexual, my life is quite a good one. I know the most obvious choice of topic to talk about this week is the "more choice" one, but I'm guessing that
someone will have mentioned that by now, and, besides, it makes my sexuality sound like a McDonalds menu.
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| "Right, one same sex partner, one coke. That'll be £2.68." |
However, that's literally all people can think of. Even Todostrieb had to take the theme to some rather unusual extremes to think of something to write. And that was what it was like with me; a few failed attempts to write something meaningful, followed by desperately trying to make LGBTQS into a word (I got QUEST if you add in U and E, but what on Earth would they stand for? Underestimated?). It was, in the end, a holiday with some of the Homojournalists (including Cretzal - more on that next week) that gave me the answer. And made me have to post late, but no matter.
I have never met a boring bisexual person, or a boring gay person, or a boring anything-but-S person.
Here's a Google Image result for "straight pride":
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| Oh my, the fun, the fun. |
And here's one for "gay pride":
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| Feel free to make your own comparisons. |
Now, unless you're one of those people who no-one likes, who like the quiet, the bland and the effortless, you know which one's better. I like loud, I hate bland (I douse my food in chilli), and I like excitement and difficulty and adrenaline. And that's why I feel lucky that I'm un-straight - due to the inherent riskiness and fabulousness of being LGBTQ, there's a much highe
r likelihood that LGBTQ people are much more similar to me, and will revel in the loud chaos of my parties, enjoy the lip-melting spiciness of my food, and will accompany me if I decide I want to climb that hill with an 89° incline. And that's the crux of the matter.
The main perk of being LGBTQ is being with other LGBTQ people, at least according to me.
As always, any complaints, criticisms or recipes involving more than 2 tbsp of chilli should be sent to homojournal@gmail.com,
Yours loudly,
James.
I should clarify: me and Cretzal broke up, and he hates loudness, spiciness and is generally lazy and fat and crap. He also seemed to think it's acceptable to have anal sex with your ex-girlfriend while still going out with your current-boyfriend. Repeatedly.
this is complete swill, devoid of any intelligence, wit or insight. but far worse than being simply without merit, it is guilty of the most appalling prejudice that you ostensibly deplore. gay people are as tedious as any other group, filled with their fair share of irritating, pointless, vacuous people. i'll grant one thing, this does touch upon an interesting topic of discussion (though you naturally treated it with all the sophistication and grace of a flatulent bulldog) which is that issue of "gay pride". It's stupid. The idea of a gay rights movement is noble and important, what with gays being just about the last group with institutional discrimination laid against them and what with sexual liberation being one of the most important social battles of our time. the idea of gay pride on the other hand is stupid. i am not proud to be straight, anyone that is is a douche. being proud of being gay is like being proud of being white or black or a man. it's absurd, you've done nothing to "achieve" it, it's simply a facet of your biology/psychology and moreover, even if you had... it isn't an achievement. one ought to be completely disinterested (please note disinterested, not uninterested) in one's own sexuality in order to have any hope of honesty or integrity in dealing with the issue. it shouldn't matter, the moment you claim that it does you actually give credence to homophobes and bigots from every corner of teh interwebz. but no, you're too busy being "fabulous", establishing your own backwards prejudices (being gay makes you like spicy food and steep inclines?) and thinking that you write terribly well when in fact, well... you just write terribly.
ReplyDeleteTo the two anons who commented:
ReplyDeleteLet me first say, thank you for your criticism, I also don't really agree with James' post. However I recognize that it is meant to be taken as a joke, and not completely seriously. At least I hope so...
Secondly, I find it funny that both of you (or one of you.. If you have indeed bothered to come back twice, with an hour's interval.. then you have a lot of free time... but so do I, so I can't judge..) can criticized his style of writing, and his intellect, but fail to note the manor in which it was written, or even humor the idiot (if it is even serious). Also, my dear anons, you HAVE FORGOTTEN TO USED CAPITAL LETTERS for "I", and at the beginning of sentences, an error, common to those in primary school.
Thirdly, why oh why dear anons, do you lack the courage to comment using your identity? Why are you anonymous?
The lack of capital letters bothered me too :/
ReplyDeleteOh and it's *criticise and I think you mean *manner dear Eli :P Anyway,what's the whole thing about? I mean the "fail to note..." bit... sorry but I'm a bit slow tonight and don't understand what you mean o.O
Hehe, sorry.. my comment was rushed.. and I have to rely on spell-check XD
DeleteI meant that they failed to see that it was a meant to be a joke...
Also, that even if they DID THINK that it was serious, they (being the intelligent people they think themselves as) should have just humored him (you know, the smile and nod treatment, that we give some people)..
I wish we could all get along like we used to in middle school... I wish I could bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat and be happy...
ReplyDelete*bites you* yumm, nommy rainbow cake :3
DeleteHey, we have to make rainbow cookies together!! ohhh, and penis cake... or was that penis cookies...
You use to get along with people in middle school!? I had the best of fights! lol
DeleteIf everyone got along happily I doubt the world would ever progress... I am now going to ponder on this new idea I had never considered O.O
I believe that pride in anything luck based as anon said is silly and bigoted in and of itself. I also think that the term gaypride is misleading. The publicity surrounding LGBT must be positive and dramatic as anon said in order to correct oversights and discrimination in legislation, but, why does that mean we have to make a spectacle of ourselves?
ReplyDeleteThe simple answer is we don't. The battle for equal rights may even be easier if we dissolved our stereotypes (anon may like week one btw). The simple answer is to say that gay pride doesn't help us at all. The reality is far more complicated. There are thousands of people who believe they are unnatural for liking members of the same sex. Who believe that they are freaks, hated by God or Gods and who honestly think they are disgusting. Gay pride the parade is famous for it's flamboyance, and maybe our rainbow flag is a symbol of the stereotypes we hate, but it is a known symbol. A symbol to all those who feel that they are alone, who are scared that they do not have to be that way. I should know, for many years I felt that way.
In other news I would suggest that straight pride, gay pride, white pride, black pride etc could be renamed to 'being yourself pride'. Rather than a promotion of positive discrimination for conditions beyond our control, but an acceptance of our diversity beneficial to all. It becomes particularly necessary for for groups who are oppressed to kickstart the opinion changing process, to provide a rallying point and hope. The suffragettes had a flag and wore it with pride, why can't we be proud. Proud of who we are, but also of what we do?
As for being proud of who I am, not for being LGBT. Well that is part of me. I would also like to see more of an aspiring-female-doctors-with-an-addiction-to-Tumblr community.
I would also like you to take back your insult to bulldogs. Grace is relative. And relative to your slightly incoherent response (I don't carte about spelling or grammar but logical fallacies I cannot abide by) they are ballerinas.
Having said all this. We encourage response. Anon made some interesting points and had a new perspective, although, some of the, uh, rude bits were.... I would like to invite anon to write a guest post. Some-one else will add capitals for you, don't worry, I have a grammar fairy who checks all of my work.
Oh Mel :')
DeletePride --> doesn't make sense to be proud for how you were born (such as examples named above). You cannot be proud of yourself for being what you are, you can be proud of what you do/achieve BY being who you are. I understand the use of the term but don't think it is the right term to use.
Gay Pride --> born as a way to shock and rebel. Was needed for the reasons stated already but now? Just a tradition really that can get out of hand and I think sometimes obtains unwanted results (aka encourages stereotypes and makes people dislike gay, also it presents the gay community as "different" instead of encouraging the belief that our sexuality makes us no different to everyone else.
Bulldogs --> why do you say they are ballerinas? They are "man-made" and are prone to several illnesses due to this domestic breeding. I encourage a minute of silence in their honour to apologise for what are egotism has done (I joke but it is a true story)
Grammar fairy --> Yes, that is me :D But I too am not perfect
Comments --> Always welcomed, I otherwise feel lonely and think no one cares for our blog :'(
Peace and Love to everyone!!
But but but....look at their cute little feet and eyes...
Deletehttp://canined.com/nyc/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/white-fawn-english-bulldog-central-park-new-york-city-dog-walker-pictures-5.jpg
Delete"how dare you say I'm cute" he says lol
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TLyVqkkRPJQ
DeleteThis is all.
O.O
DeleteOnce again, may I suggest a minute of silence to apologise...
Also
1- Pug and bull dog = different (although this is irrelevant)
2- http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2106592/Leading-vet-calls-pugs-bulldogs-ban-pedigree-dogs-struggle-breathe.html :(
That's like saying we should stop breeding people with the obesity gene markers....the damage is done. It's unfair now to stop producing pug/bull dogs (I've lost track) as all future generations deserve access to all our species and diversity is valuable. PLus...well they're dogs.
ReplyDeleteexcept we don't breed people!! people reproduce. It doesn't say "if you see a bull dog trying to fuck another dog you must rugby tackle him and kill the bitch" it says stop breeding them. Stop purposefully making more and more dogs that would never be naturally selected v.v and it is not just breathing problems. I don't see anyone targeting people with obese gene or whatever and forcing them to mate with other obese gened people sssshhhhh let me deal with the animals v.v
DeleteOk, since we've decided that grammar is of some paltry significance I'll indulge you by making use of this funny upward arrow key on my computer. I'd first like to remark that bringing grammar into a serious discussion about ideas is juvenile, as much as I love the grammar game (and play it very well if I say so myself, even in my currently alcohol addled state), I did not raise such a trivial issue and I'm disappointed that you all have in an effort to be condescending and dismissive of what I said.
ReplyDeleteSecondly, to respond to the criticism that I neither accounted for nor noted the jocular tone of this post, I'd say this, a great many of the posts on this blog (of which I am a devoted reader) have a humorous tone, but deal with very serious ideas. To be dismissive of ideas just because the tone is humorous would be to dismiss the very important and lucid ideas of Oscar Wilde, Plato, Hitchens, Mark Twain, a great many others and, of course, the fine homojournalists. I can note humour but take idea's seriously, if James did not intend any of this to be taken seriously then... the joke is still in bad taste, and poorly communicated I might add (there was not a hint of irony about his comment about only having met boring straight people). Ideas matter, and just because you use a funny turn of phrase doesn't mean you're given carte blanche to express any bullshit idea you please. As for the suggestion that I ought have humoured this James fellow, firstly, I find the idea that we ought humour those with which we disagree patronising in the extreme and antithetical to the progress of ideas. Secondly, humouring bigots within a movement you support is profoundly counterproductive. One ought address the issues within one's own ideas before one even thinks of harping on at others, and the same goes for movements.
For my preantipenultimate paragraph (simply irresistible alliteration) I'd like to respond to Mel, who stood out as responding with some intelligence and integrity. You referred in your post to "logical fallacies" in my post, after calling it "incoherent" (after you rightly identified grammar and spelling as trivial quibbles) but you failed to name or address such fallacies or incoherencies, I'd like to know what you thought was fallacious or incoherent about my comment. Again to Mel, I think you are quite right to call me up on my disservice to flatulent bulldogs everywhere, they are substantially more graceful and sophisticated than James' post.
I will refrain from responding to the comment about my anonymity in any serious fashion, I will simply say that such base ad homonym remarks (just like the depressingly accurate comment about my copious free time) are intellectually dishonest and unhelpful. Although I'll applaud the effort, when you know nothing about the other person to attack- why not attack how little you know about them? Beautiful.
I'd like to finish by saying that I am struck by the frankly hysterical irony of being attacked by a grammar nazi who has to "rely on spell-check". Of course by my stunning hypocrisy of condemning ad homonym attacks and then immediately indulging in one is similarly amusing.
This post was appallingly offensive in a whole host of ways and as such I thought it important to respond, I'll admit I was rude, largely because I intended to be. Perhaps this was misguided and if I've caused any unnecessary misery I sincerely apologise, but I judged James capable of withstanding the wroth of one relatively tame internet hater. I shall say no more on the matter unless people specifically ask for further response, as I do not want to pursue a fruitless internet squabble.
I've decided to brazenly renege on my promise to bother you no more. I wanted to say that I much appreciate the invitation for me to guest post, graciously extended by Mel, but that I am really not much of a writer myself and would not expect the post to be of particular quality. But should the invitation hold, notwithstanding my self proclaimed ineptitude, I would accept.
ReplyDeleteThe invitation is still open, we're all a fan of your constructive criticism at Homojournal HQ, and would all like to hear your thoughts on any matter in which you decide to write an article about :)
DeleteAlso, sorry for the juvenile criticism about the grammar etc from me, but see, it has greatly improved your comments, and we can observe your intellect more clearly now!
Delete*still mumbles about anonymity*
Here here...or hear hear?
DeleteEither way you have provided much excitment in the sad and lonely world of the homojournal writers. My north facing wall is currently a mess of clues, maps and partly a shrine to our haters.
Mel, it's "hear hear" comes from the King James Bible where it was "hear him hear him" but was reduced at some stage in parliament. I always assumed it was "here here", just made more sense to me for some reason, I was wrong. I hope you don't view me as a "hater" of homojournal. I hated this post... obviously. But I wouldn't have given so much as a ha'penny jizz if I weren't such a fan of the blog as a whole.
DeleteEli, it's quite alright, as I said I'm an enormous fan of the grammar game. I'm not averse to a touch of the juvenile either, after all, farting dog quips are far from sophisticated... amusing perhaps, by some loose definition of that word, but sophisticated no. As for my anonymity I'd firstly say it's my right and I'm not at all sure why it's deemed relevant. Also I'm inclined to yell "hypocrite" to at least one or two of you, who I assume are using pseudonyms (based solely on my perhaps unfounded sense that no right thinking parent would name a child "Todostrieb"). Or would my anonymity be alright if only I had a fake name to make me feel more personal?
Well as a matter of practicality if we have more than one anon it could get awkward if we don't all have nicknames. And, how dare you insult Todostrieb, her name is a very traditional one from....essex. It means wise.
DeleteHehe dearest anon, may we call you Rakesh? That seems like a good name, 'tis what my next goldfish will be called.
ReplyDeleteI'll gladly send a list of the plot holes in your posting. But, as I suspect this will continue for days and my posts will also we ripped apart, only if you really want. If you email homojournal, I will email back with it....I may even get super nerdy and annotate a word document or draw graphs.
Guest posts are very welcome Rakesh. I'd also like your opinion on what we could do to improve the blog further.
I'd also like to start a betting pool guessing Rakesh's real identity. Can we have some clues? I have a few ideas....
When writing your blog you should try to give something back
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