Swingers, not to be confused with “singers”

Apparently, we have the sexual revolution of the 1960’s to thank for the possibility of swinging, or swapping partners, but it’s hard to revolutionise something that’s been around since the dawn of time. Human nature is based at least partly on lust, no matter how much you tell yourself your purpose in life is to help the cute fluffy bunnies. So, I'm sure polygamy and partner swapping was around long before then. In fact, I have it on good authority Eskimos “wife-lended”.

Perhaps swinging is the way forward, some studies show that about 60% of people in a marriage cheat, with surprisingly similar data for both the men and women, could it be that we are designed to have more than one partner? And, to once again take the fun out of sex for you, perhaps it’s to have more genetic variation.

It’s been proven that after a while with a loving partner (don’t use this as an excuse to cheat on your girlfriend/boyfriend, I’m speaking 3-7 years here) the same physical response, which romantics will refer to as “the spark”, as when you first met is very unlikely to still be there. Swinging or an open relationship could be one of many answers to this. Although, it’s probably a lot less effort to walk to your nearest sex shop and buy a liquorice whip. 

The main problems with swinging are:

1. Jealousy
2. Sexual health
3. Unwanted pregnancy
4. Lack of car keys
5. Religion/ moral objections

If you’re sensible and have a spare set of keys 2-5 are unlikely to be a problem for you. But as Mel pointed out, can you really ever overcome your inner Tinkerbelle? Personally I think not, I have a suspicious nature and not very nice hair.

From the moral standpoint I’m of the opinion polygamy is fine, but it takes a very strong and trusting relationship for both parties to be happy, and that needs to be the aim. Non- consensual polygamy (is that an actual term?) or cheating, I’m against. But humans all make mistakes.

Sharing is not always caring.

Sex is good. I know this isn't likely to be a wildly revelatory statement, but I feel the need to get it out of the way, because it's kind of the whole basis of why people swing.

Not pictured: what I'm talking about.

You see, for most people, a normal, sedentary sex life is enough. They find a partner, have as much sex as they can both have without either of them succumbing to cardiac arrest, and continue about their lives. Oh, sure, they might dabble in some more interesting methods of pleasure, such as bondage or role play, but it's always with the same person, and it's always comfortably familiar.

But, just like with cake, there are some people who simply cannot abide limits. They need more, in every way: larger quantities, richer quality, more diversity. And so, said sexually free people are faced with three choices: have more sex with their current partner (and stress them into a cardiac arrest), introduce kinkier kinks such as Violet Wands (and possibly scare them into a cardiac arrest) or, as many do, turn to swinging.

Still not pictured: what I'm talking about. 

Some say swinging (i.e non-monogamous behaviour among committed partners) began in the wild, free-love era of the '60s, some say earlier, in the American military camps of the '50s, but the origin is of little importance: I don't personally believe it's become any more or less acceptable or unacceptable since its inception, so I'll just talk about how I see it now. Talking about swinging now and then would be like comparing murder now and then; it's reasonably sure that there won't be a sizeable difference in reaction.

Famous? Yes. Accepted? Not particularly.

Much like many of the things we write about, whether swinging is good or bad is largely up to the context. Swinging absolutely needs to be mutual, with both partners participating, or else someone's likely to end up hurt. If one person's swinging, and one person isn't, it's not really swinging - at best, it's an open relationship; at worst, cheating, which is all the salient information I really have on this topic. I'm sure the others will inform you about the etiquette, safety precautions, and how to avoid having to sleep with the atrociously ugly woman at the swingers party, but I'm just here to furnish you with info from personal experience: make sure what you're doing is actually swinging.

As per usual, feel free to send comments, critiques and bank details to homojournal@gmail.com.

Yours faithfully,

James.

You can tell that I was only one sad-song away from a full-blown Cretzal meltdown a la "Repent, Heterosexuals!" while writing this. We don't need another one of those.