Better Nate than lever

Better Nate than lever

I’m very sorry this post is late! It’s hard to keep track of the silly linear time units called days you mere mortals are so fond of. But at least you weren’t the friends I stood up, who walked around Stratford looking for me for two hours, when I was actually in bed asleep….

I’ve always said I never wanted to be famous; enough people stalk me as it is. Can you imagine not being able to get the post in your ugly (but amazingly warm) fleece pyjamas, without someone taking a photo of you in all your unwashed glory? Your entire personal life would be up for debate, including your sexual orientation, that can’t be fun. I feel like this is one area the press should stay out of, but they don’t for straight people either, so really it’s promoting an equality of a kind.

One of the main issues I can conceive is if you’re not out, you probably aren’t for a reason; perhaps you’re waiting for the right time to tell your family. Seeing it in the headlines is never a good way to tell your family anything.

However there is the positive role model argument, raising awareness for LBGT issues and suchlike and many celebrities do this admirable. Although, surely straight celebrities could do this anyways? I’m especially fond of straight celebs who don’t bother to deny/address/confirm claims they’re gay, because it doesn’t matter to them. It’s not an insult, or infectious disease…so why care?

Really, I would argue it’s something the media should stay out of, but when has it applied that to any other aspect of anyone’s life. Who wants their diet, weight, love life, sexuality, career, friendships and family examined in public?

I shall end this post with a picture of John Barrowman (sadly I am the wrong gender for him….and he’s happily married):

And here’s a link to the world’s longest joke, where my title is from, if you have some time to kill.

Lots of love,

Todostrieb

Not Coming Out Today

You can tell, I've been avoiding this week's theme. I've tried, for weeks to get this article done, it just never works. I just end up lost, half-way through a very long explanation about my family history.. and besides, I have an excuse: this past week, I've had exams EVERY SINGLE DAY. So in my desperation, I swapped with the guest post. (thank you darling Izzy).

 As my title suggests, I haven't come out, not in any proper sense, and I don't think I will. I blame this video here for it:

 

 It's from the youtube channel Onisionspeaks.

Basically, there's no point to coming out, because it doesn't matter. It doesn't make any difference to the other person what sexuality you are. Unless you want to bang them.


That makes sense to me. I don't want to bang my mother or father, so I haven't told them that I'm open-minded. It doesn't concern them.

I also don't want to share the relationshipy side to me with them, or anything sexuality-related, because I  don't want the favor returned. Although, that hasn't prevented my mother from sharing WAY too much. And I have borrowed her studded micro-skirt before..

At school, I think everybody knows I'm not in the straight-majority. Making out with my girlfriend in front of everyone has that effect...
I also have a strange fascination with questioning other people's sexuality, and questioning the difference between loving one gender and another. So that gave things away too.

I'm not "in the closet", I'm open to whomever asks, but I'm not going to sit people down, as though I have cancer, and utter the dreaded words.. "I'm GAY", because I don't know WHAT I am. There's no point saying "I'm not straight...". There's no fun in it.

eli x

The burden of being straight

I did not choose to be straight. Honestly. I was born this way. I never really had any doubts about it. I tried kissing girls, but it just wouldn't do it for me. For the longest time I avoided facing this reality, and it wasn't until the age of 11 or 12 that I started giving in to to the astonishing truth: I like guys.

When I told my mom she was not happy. Her daughter was suffering her own misfortune. She kept on trying to convince me I should be lesbian by saying stuff like "Girls are so much easier to deal with, guys will only break your heart, guys are all liars and only want sex". She is always complaining about guys and would rather know I'm with a girl rather than with a guy. But I can't help the way I feel!

Ok, so maybe I never had the obligation of "coming out" as straight, 'cause that is just what society expects you to be. Nevertheless, I technically did "claim it" with my mother as she would always make passing references to me having a boyfriend OR a girlfriend "because you know that would be alright too"; to which I would reply "no mother, I like guys, get over it". So even if I wasn't straight, I know I wouldn't have any problem telling my mom because she would be more than thrilled (she would honestly rather I was a lesbian). My father, on the other hand, might have been a different story. I'm not really sure what his feelings are on the matter but to be honest, I truly believe that one should never be forced to pretend to be someone else. I don't think I would've felt the need to tell anyone either; I mean, why should I "come out"? It is not my fault you assumed I was straight. If anyone asked whether I had a boyfriend I might have told them "no, I'm not interested in guys" and I may have made "hot girl" comments around my friends as I do about guys. I wouldn't hide who I am, I would make it blatantly obvious. I guess that is partly because I grew up with a mother who has always fought for human rights and taught me that we are all the same. I would spend my weekends playing with my mom's friends' kids: many of my mom's friends are gay. So I never ever thought of gayness as being wrong.

Obviously, as I am currently a homo-journalist, I have several gay/bisexual friends. One of whom is my best friend. Several had joked about him being gay, but I very much knew he liked girls while he had never expressed any interest in guys. When he finally accepted the truth and told me he was bisexual, I was not surprised, nor did I have any grand reaction. It was as if he had told me "I like chocolate". Of course this meant I asked him loads of questions on how he felt, when he figured it out, what he was going to do about it, etc. He knew that I would always be there to support him or give any advice if he ever needed it. I personally think being bisexual is amazing. It opens up a whole new world of opportunities! Many more fish available, too. Damn I wish I was bi...

As I have already said before, I don't consider myself to be 100% straight, because I don't think anyone really is. But I am sure of my sexuality. I have kissed girls, but it has never really meant anything. I don't feel what I feel when kissing a guy I like; it's just like kissing a friend. Then again, I've never really "liked" a girl. A kiss means nothing in itself, it is the feelings behind it that count. One day a friend of mine asked me "If you were interested in girls, which girl in the school would you want to go out with?" I spent a few minutes really thinking about that question, and at that moment I realised that I simply could not give her an answer. I wouldn't go out with any of them, and not only the girls in the school, but also the other ones I knew or even famous actresses. It is difficult to explain, perhaps it is like asking a vegetarian to pick between a sausage or a hamburger. I could even go as far as to have sex with a girl, but it would merely be an experience. If a girl asked me out and I said yes, it would just feel like hanging out with a friend and nothing else.

I realise this post is a little confusing (and written quite badly), but feelings are not really easy to describe and I just finished my exams, have been really distracted (if you don't know what I'm talking about refer back to "getting busy with my fetish") and am very tired, so my brain is not really working properly. You will have to forgive me. I will try to make it up to you next week!

Never hide who you are. Who really loves you will support you and if they don't then... are they really worth it?

Love,

Miu xx

P.S. Don't forget to e-mail us at homojournal@gmail.com for any questions, comments, request or if you are bored and have nothing better to do. We are available 24/7 (that is 24 minutes every 7 hours) so try your luck!

Rule #1: Do not expect normality.

By the time you'll have read this, I'll likely be lying in a ditch somewhere near Ingatestone, Essex.

You see, the reason me and Rory had to swap days was that on the day I was meant to furnish you lovely people with an entertaining, well crafted post about how I came out, how to come out yourself, and how to help others, I was instead sitting a Russian exam, wondering what on earth "Благотворительные Oрганизации" meant. 

There is a certain bitter irony in the fact that the International Baccalaureate caused me so much pain and confusion with a phrase that translates to "Charitable Organisations".

But, dear Constant Readers, I've scheduled this post to go out exactly 30 minutes after my last exam finishes, and, believe me, that's enough time to make a bottle or seventeen of vodka vanish, like a magic trick from my liver's worst nightmares. As such, while reading this post, just know that somewhere out there, in the big wide world, the person who wrote this is happy and smiling, and with friends.

If that doesn't cheer you up, just imagine the hangover I'll have afterwards.

Now, onto the post proper:

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I first came out as bisexual while in bed with my straight crush, while we were just in our boxers, at about 4 in the morning. It wasn't even either of our beds, it was a 3rd party's bed. You see, I've never been particularly good at doing things the expected way, or the correct way. That little imp that most people have in their heads, that whispers such things as "No, don't eat the nettle, it will hurt." or "No, don't talk about sausages/bananas/courgettes with your crush, you'll only giggle and run away again." seems to have taken early retirement around my 1st birthday.

I suppose it made a bit of sense for me to come out to Cthulhu first, as he was mainly the reason I'd decided I was bisexual. Up until then, I'd had the occasional "James, you enjoy thinking about men a bit too much..." mental conversation with myself, but they always ended up with me no closer to accepting it and feeling a little like the guy in Fight Club.

Which isn't an entirely negative experience.

But one of the things Cthulhu and I were particularly fond of was sharing secrets, lots and lots of secrets, and he was the first person who'd ever gotten me to do that. Before then, nobody had even guessed I had secrets - I seemed too boring. My secrets were so secret I'd started forgetting them. Until he dredged them up.

But I appear to be straying from the crux of the matter here: semi-naked and in bed together (albeit at opposite ends).

I honestly can't tell you what degenerate part of my brain thought that that was the most appropriate moment to tell him that I, his up-until-now-apparently-straight best friend, had a massive crush on him. Did I think that because he was bereft of clothing he couldn't escape? Was I hoping that he would say the same, and we'd make out in our friend's bed? I cannot say.  All I can say is that, despite being probably more than a little taken aback by the fact I actually said it, he was absolutely fine with it. No rage, no fear, no torches and pitchforks. He even made a joke about it later on, when he said "My boxers feel a bit tight... oh, yeah, that probably wasn't what you needed to be hearing right now."

"No, please, keep talking."

So there I was, officially out to at least one person (the 3rd party followed shortly, because I had come out in her bed after all, she deserved to know). I don't know about you, dear Readers, but once I've done something scary, I want to do it again and again. Thus I set myself a challenge: I had to be out to most of my friends and my parents by the end of college. I am (woo!), but neither of those went particularly to plan either...

Me and Cthulhu had decided that I was going to come out to everyone at the party we were going to before we'd even gotten there. About 2 or 3 months had passed since I first came out to him, and when I got there, it all seemed quite doable. Most people there I either knew or seemed friendly and/or drunk enough, and I was feeling confident.

Until I actually considered the mechanics of it all.

"You must come out to all of these people. You have one hour - go."

The fact that the party goers were legion, and quite a spread out legion at that, had put a significant dent in my plan. By this point I had partaken in quite a few intoxicants myself, and was therefore a little wary of putting myself through all that walking lest I end up in a bush or a puddle or a bear. And then I saw it.

The answer to all my problems.

The tree.

In the middle of the field/park/golf course where we were partying, there sat a large, fallen tree, about 1.5 times my height. Now, to anyone else this tree looked like just another fallen tree, a tad incongruous in the middle of a clearing but no matter, blame ghosts or aliens. But to me, in my drunken, slightly deluded way, it looked like a bloody good stage for a little show I wanted to put on.

The temptation to sing my way through the experience was barely containable. 

While I can't claim to have proclaimed my sexuality to the entire world from the top of that log, I did announce it to quite a few people (to an irritatingly small response - no girls swooned or anything). After that, I just left it to filter through my school's gossip machine on its own. It took a while, and everybody seemed much more interested in the false rumour that me and the 3rd party had made out (oh, the irony), but  it got round in the end, and that just left the stereotypical final boss battle: the parents.

"IT'S JUST A PHASE." - 999 HP DAMAGE.

Except, they were the easiest to tell. I told my Mum about 3 months after the party, flippantly while enjoying a glass of Strongbow. She was unmoved. She had very little reaction whatsoever, except to tell me that she'd thought I was gay once. She had no qualms whatsoever, but she did warn me not to tell my Dad, which was a little ominous. However, after 9 months of not telling him, I just had to - he was the last pertinent person left. I built up some courage, gulped down some Strongbow (it's a favourite drink of mine, don't judge), and said "Dad, I'm bisexual." halfway through an episode of Masterchef: Australia. "I know, your Mum told me ages ago."

This is a recurring theme: I told my Mum about Cretzal a full 3 weeks before I told my Dad, and when I did eventually tell him, he used the exact same phrase, as if he'd copy/pasted it. I just had to laugh.

And that, dear readers, is my advice to you: laugh. Make coming out funny. Do it in incongruous situations. Do it semi-nude. Do it while standing above everyone like Moses with the 10 Commandments. Do it while wearing a French Maid costume just do anything to make it enjoyable, because, y'know, Mary Poppins was right.

A spoon full of sugar and all that jazz.

You're saying the chimney sweep who has a full blown dance number with loads of dirty, sweaty guys isn't totally closeted?

You could email us at homojournal@gmail.com, or you could come and find me in that ditch somewhere, because there's no way I'll remember where I am when I eventually wake up.

Yours drunkenly,

James

Looking back on it, me, Cthulhu and 3rd Party had a habit of doing impolite things in/on each others' beds.

Guests Post - Coming Out

I always feel a little bit stupid telling the story of how I came out, because most people usually have some sort of crazy way in which their parents found out, and I sometimes feel like my story isn’t really good enough. I first started realising that I had a thing for guys when I developed a crush on a person that shall remain unnamed until the end of time, and it absolutely confused the hell out of me, seeing as I had never thought about guys in that way. He was also straight and used to remark "I'm perfectly comfortable with my sexuality" - he later turned out to be bisexual, which I found incredibly amusing.

Anyway, as my sexual awareness became more and more potent, I also became increasingly aware of how much people seemed to hate gay people at my school. So instead of just straight up telling people ‘I’m bisexual’ and getting my head kicked in by the ignorant chavs who don’t understand anything unless it’s within their own context of reality, I thought I would tell some of my accepting female friends and ask them to keep it a secret. Which they did… for a while anyway.

During that brief time in which all was well, I felt much better knowing my female friends were actually accepting of me, but I still felt down because I had no idea whether my best friend Tom would be at all accepting. I ended up telling him on a swing just outside the youth club that happened on Fridays in our little village, and although he was a little freaked out, he still seemed to be ok with it in the end. He even asked if I fancied him, a concept I actually find rather hilarious now, but back then I was a little offended. Now I had told everyone really important to me and didn’t care for telling anyone else, but about a month after I told Tom, one of my female friends obviously felt the need to.

Pretty much half the school found out within two or three days and I got questions from just about everyone. ‘Why would you want to be with a guy?’ they would ask, as if I was just walking along one day and decided ‘Hey, do you know what’d be a good idea? If I had a sexual attraction towards guys, it's not like I would get any hate from ignorant assholes or anything’. I also got all the threats from the bullies at my school. They already had plenty of reasons to hate me in the first place, so it wasn't that much of a change. They were all empty threats in the end. The kids that wanted to ‘Bash my head in’, they never did. Although those same kids did throw a pencil at me in class on the odd occasion and exclaim rude remarks about my sexuality. It didn't really make a big difference though, because they would probably just be saying something else about my dress sense, or my hair, as if fashion was their primary concern in life.

Telling my family was now the next step. I would always feel the need to tell my mum coming back from martial arts class. The teacher of the class was actually a lesbian and my mum knew this, so it always made me think that she probably didn’t mind gay people, because she would always talk about the teacher in a really good light. It took me about two or three months working up the courage; I would always be thinking about it in the car. I’d often say ‘Mum?’ and she’d say ‘what?’ in her Canadian accent, and I’d reply with ‘Never mind’ and we’d continue on our journey. Anyway, I told her after a while, and she was fine with it, however she felt the need to give me a week long lecture on aids, which I can tell you was really, really fun. She also seemed to think that maybe I’d ‘Grow out of it’. It then took me about half a year to tell my dad when he picked me up in his car to go to his house, his reaction was pretty much ‘Oh, ok, that’s fine’ which was a big relief, and luckily no aids lecture. I then told my brother about four years after I told my dad… yeah, a long time I know.

You see, my brother had never really spoken about gay people and I had some vague ideas about whether or not my father and mother were ok with it, but for all I knew my brother could have absolutely despised other sexualities. I didn’t even directly tell him, I told his girlfriend who later told him. We never spoke about it, but I knew he knew. Whenever I posted a link on facebook about gay marriage or the pope doing his best to do something stupid, he would show his support. I think it must have also taken me a while because he’s actually a really good friend as well as a brother and I really look up to my brother. His disapproval would have pretty much been one of the most depressing thoughts I could have.

Now I’m completely open about it, so open in fact that I’ll even sign off with my name.

– Izzy Spint. Nineteen years of age. Bisexual and proud.

So, when did you tell your parents you’re straight?

It’s not a phrase you hear very often is it? I’m of the opinion it shouldn’t really matter what anyone else’s sexuality is to you, unless you’re trying to hit on them, in which case ask as discretely as possible beforehand to avoid any “dude, I’m gay” moments. Unless you are confident enough in your abilities to attract whomever you wish, but I doubt any of you even come close to me in that respect bitches.

Perhaps it matters a lot more if you think loved ones might have a problem with it, if so, you’re in for a lot of heartbreak, but it’s right to let them know as soon as you feel comfortable. Telling them outright can avoid dramatic scenes form distraught parents, failed exorcisms and blind dates.

Maybe one day in the future, when the eleventh dimension has been discovered and the second season of firefly finally airs, coming out will be a thing of the past.  No one will have a problem with homosexuality, or any other kind of sexuality. Gayness will become an integral part of our culture to the extent where you don’t just assume a person is straight.

Until that day readers,

Todostrieb…sorry this was so short, IB :’(

Please send all death threats to homojournal@gmail.com

What Did One Lesbian Frog Say To another?

Ah, coming out. I’m very torn here. To some people I was never IN the closet. To others I’m not yet OUT of the closet. It all gets very confusing.

If Harry Potter taught us anything it's that nobody should live in a closet...

I had my first girlfriend aged 10, we exchanged kitkats and jellybeans on Valentine’s Day, and our matrimonial vows in the dinner queue. My mum was supportive but I think the dreaded words ‘it’s just a phase’ were uttered in hushed tones.

Now, I am not afraid of what people think of me. I am quite willing to shout from the rooftops to anyone who would listen about my sexuality, so why do my parents not know I’m bisexual? I simply never felt the need to announce it to them. I am not very close to my family; I keep both boyfriends and girlfriends quiet until I get ratted out by my sisters.

The closest I have come to coming out is awkwardly confessing to my mum that I had a girlfriend after my grandparents spent hours questioning me about my latest conquests. We concluded that my grandparents would spend a lot of time reassuring me that they loved me, and that it was wonderful I had a girlfriend, but would actually spend quite a bit of time worrying about it, so we kept it quiet. I can only assume, since she has heard rumours of my relationships with both males and the fairer sex, that she realises I am bisexual.

As for my father, I am never quite sure about him. I assumed my mum had told him I had a girlfriend, but he seemed completely oblivious when I claimed to be going out this past February 14^th with Eli, so who knows?

My twin sister knows I am bi, my younger sister does not. I have never seen the point in announcing formally my sexuality, particularly as I find sexuality horribly confusing, until recently that is. I sneakily read some of my younger sister’s texts, and they hinted at her not being as straight as I first assumed. I am worried that she is carrying this secret around with her. So in a show of good spirit, I am planning a way to come out slightly more formally, setting a hopefully good example for her. Even if she’s as straight as an arrow it’ll teach her to keep an open mind. She can ask me awkward questions when she gets a bit older, I’ll be her cool, sexually liberated big sis.

Now to the crux of the matter: I’ve said I don’t mind people knowing that I’m Bi, I’ve said that I’ve never suffered for my sexuality (see week 2 gay-bashing) and as far as I’m concerned the people who matter already know. But maybe, just maybe, there’s a tiny tiny part of me that’s still afraid.

I pride myself of identifying my emotions and the reasons behind them. I make it a point not to lie to myself ever, even when it’s painful, because it’s important to know who you are. So, I think, just this once, it’s safe for me to tell you that,  despite all the bravado, the PDA’s and the pride I have in being part of the queer community, I am scared to formally come out. Yes you heard me, the fearless Mel is scared.

Why? Because part of me still believes that being bisexual isn’t quite normal. Like anybody else I want to fit in and the majority are straight. I don’t want to be left out, on the edges of society getting funny looks all the time. But my girlfriend is beautiful; I want to show her to the world. I’ll stand behind her smiling all the while. Let me make it clear that I am not ashamed in anyway.

Then part of me feels selfish. My friends, family and even church would support me if I came out officially. Despite the awkwardness of a formal coming out, as far as I can see there’s always a lot of build up and then the response is actually quite underwhelming, I think it is my duty to do so. I don’t think coming out will pose any challenges that I will not face gladly if the reward is being myself; but, there are the LGBTQ’s that face abuse, harm and alienation when they come out. If I were out of the closet there might be more I could do to help them, even if it was just giving them an example or someone to look up to. My little sister and millions more out there need people like the homojournalists to be out and proud. To yell at the world and make things right, so we can all be in my position.

I am eighteen. I am bisexual. I am Mel. I am afraid of coming out. But I am also proud of who I am. Coming out is the right thing to do, so I’ll do it.

As always feel free to share your stories, thoughts, comments or even guest posts.

I love you all,

Mel

I was gay before I was gay...

OK, so sadly, not all coming outs are like this... maybe, one day, they will be exactly like that, but for now, we have to live with what we've got, and coming out as LGBTQ isn't going to be easy for anybody for a long time yet. I don't necessarily agree with having to come out - it's not as if you come out as being left-handed, or atheist, or ginger, or short or from Mars, so why the hell should we need to come out as LGBTQAP (delete as appropriate)? Seems stupid, but for the time being, we're stuck with it, and we're all going to have to go through it at some point (unless you’re Miu).

Like I say - coming out's just a bit stupid.

I started coming out back in year 7, and have been doing so until about a year ago, when I felt that I'd done enough coming out to last me a lifetime. For me, it was one of the most stressful and confusing times of my life, partly because (and this thought has only just struck me) I started coming out before I was completely sure I was gay myself.

A lot of gay people tend to come out to one or two of their closest friends, then other friends, and eventually, their family. I kind of came out in completely the opposite order – in fact, the first people I told were my Mum and Dad, back in Year 7 after I’d been bullied on the bus home. I got a very mixed reaction from them. On the one hand, my mum, who was, and still is completely supportive of me and frankly doesn’t care if one day I say to her “Mum, I need the house to myself tonight, because my boyfriend is coming round for hot passionate sex.” She’d probably be more concerned if I turned around to her and declared “Mum, I broke your bottle of wine, please don’t kill me.” Anyway, I digress.

I should point out that as much as she loves her wine, my mum isn't an alcoholic...

My dad, on the other hand, took it less well. On the surface, he seemed supportive, if a little shocked, but in the weeks that followed, it was clear that offering me his support was the last thing on his mind – he tried to scare me out of being gay by saying things like “if you’re gay, you’re going to die young because you’ll get HIV which will turn into AIDS, and KILL YOU”, and so on. Long story short, this sort of stuff carried on for at least a year, until I finally decided that I would ‘run away’. I got as far as the bus stop when I a) realised I had no money and b) saw my mum running down the road after me, telling me to come back and that she’d have a word with my dad.

"Why would you come out to your parents first, Rory?" I hear you ask. Well, it wasn’t planned, I promise. Like I said, I only realised I was gay when the words actually left my mouth the night I told them after having been bullied on the bus. "RORY IS GAY" and "RORY LIKES MEN" and "RORY LIKES COCK UP HIS ARSE" were the simplified versions of what they decided they'd write in the condensation on the bus window. Angry, I reacted and started wiping it off, not thinking that in doing so, I was fuelling their fun, and also confirming it.

We've all felt like this at some point, and when you're coming out, this is an all too familiar feeling.

Six months or so later, I came out to my best friend, who just happens to be one of those straight crushes I was talking about last week. How exactly, I can’t remember, although I have a niggling feeling that I came out to him by telling him I fancied him. If anything, he’d have been more surprised at the fact that someone fancies him, than at the fact that his friend’s just told him he's gay. A few weeks after, I came out to another one of my straight crushes. Both were amazingly supportive and I’m sure that between the two of them, they’d kick the living daylights out of anybody else who decides to give me grief for who I am.

When I got to year 9, I started seeing a counsellor, not just because the situation with my dad was worsening, but also because I was starting to get confused about my sexuality again. I wasn’t sure if I really was gay, or bi, or whether or not it was ‘just a phase’. I’d experienced some minor bullying again, which had dented my confidence, and I decided to ask the friends I’d already come out to, to keep it quiet. The next person I came out to was in year 10, after an awkward meeting in the boys changing rooms during a PE lesson (long story, but he was bi and in the closet, neither of us told anybody, horrendous scenario avoided). In years 8 through 11, I succeeded in telling a total of just 8 people, only 2 of whom I'm still in contact with. Ironically, 5 of the other 6 people I told and then lost contact with, were either gay or bi; the two I'm currently left with are both (sadly) straight. Moving on.

It was when I hit the Sixth Form that someone showed me this quote from Dr. Seuss: those who mind don't matter; those who matter don't mind. When they told me that, I decided that it was about bloody time to up sticks and get a move on with this coming out lark, since I'd been comfortable with being gay since about the end of year 9, about the time I stopped seeing my counsellor. And so I set my 'interested in' on facebook to men, and decided that I'd answer 'yes' rather than 'no' to anybody who asked me if I was gay. And here we are. I haven't been attacked or raped or beaten up or whatever, which is what I was dreading would happen. Things just carried on as normal, as if I had always been out, and no kerfuffle was made.

Do I need to say any more?

If there’s anybody left reading this (it is rather long, I apologise) and you’re in the closet and contemplating leaving it, then my advice to you is simple: rather than jumping straight in and announcing to the world you're gay (like this girl, who, it has to be said, is either bloody brave for doing it the way she did, or a complete fool), I think it's probably better to tell a few, close, trusted friends first, so that you have a sort of support network you can go to if things get messy later on (like when it comes to telling your parents, etc.). Once you've done that, and you know that the people who mean most to you are behind you, that's when I'd suggest telling everyone else, although standing up in assembly and blurting it out probably isn't the best way to do it. Things will probably get worse, before they get better, but trust me, they WILL get better!

If you're currently coming out, and would like to share your story with us, please feel free to leave a comment or send us an e-mail with your story to homojournal@gmail.com. If you're already out or are straight, then please do comment or e-mail us anyway!

Quantum homo mechanics? - Our Guest Slave Jake

I’m Jake. This is the first time I’ve ever really talked about the existence or non-existence of my homo or “bi-ness” to anyone other than my hamster Sid.

Sid agrees with me that if I had lead a different life (or been present in a different reality) I may never had fallen in love with the big arms and the hairy chests. Still, it took me many girlfriends to realise the female scorn for masculine emotional literacy wasn’t really what I needed.

I, among with some of the other bi-sexuals, have come to understand the bizarre fascination and hatred that those ‘of heterosexual origin’ have for us ‘strange breed’. It stands to reason that the way the majority feels must be the correct way of feeling, and that anything other is subnormal.

There is not much I can say to that argument above. However if I enjoy playing with men and having men play with me, then I don’t mind being a subcategory! I can just feel happy that while every homophobic man shudders at the thought, I can turn it into pleasure.

Easter. My parents love it. My dad especially loves commenting on the sub-human nature of homosexuals. I’m still saving this homo bombshell from his only son for another argument... for a time when I leave home.

I can’t say it doesn’t get to me - that I haven’t told my family - I only really tell my friends if they ask. Many do not think that I am even remotely homo, and if I am then I must hide it really well. I hide because I have to, not because I want to.

Still counting the seconds to the revolution brothers and sisters!

Keep on loving.
Jake xXx