If Ian Somerhalder were gay then... then... what?

If this amazing creature - that happens to roam the Earth in his beauty - were gay, the world would not end. Although all my dreams of marrying him would be shattered and he will never realise what a beautiful life we could've had together...

                                     Him                                                   Me

So does his being straight make any difference? I can fantasise all I want but I will probably never meet him (properly), he will not have the chance to notice me and fall in love with me (his loss) and we shan't get married (*cries*). Why would anyone care about his sexuality? Unless one is homophobic. The only "perk" of knowing he is straight is I "know" we are destined to be together

Even if he were openly gay, I would still claim that is only because he has not met me yet 
(a bit of awkward English there)

The same goes for any "non-famous" person. One should only care about their sexuality if they intend to have sex with them or initiate a relationship, whichever rocks your boat. Unfortunately, if the world were as perfect and beautiful as it would be if I were in charge, sexuality would never be an issue; but unfortunately I have not yet taken over the world (one of my year's resolutions) and we live in this crappy place where if one is anything but heterosexual they shall be considered... well... nothing nice.

Referring back to the main point of this week, celebs should not feel obligated to "come out" as it is a scary world and they already go through a lot of crap (it's ok the shitload of money they get compensates), however I would admire the ones who are not afraid to do so. Celebs are role models, whether they like it or not. They have many fans who look up to them and obsess over them, and unfortunately many aren't up for the job. It is a shame that the news is often full of actors and singers who have become addicts and have ended up in jail ruining their lives that way, but it is always important never to forget that they are "normal people" (if such beings exist), just... with the addition of fame and money. 

So what have we learned today? Iam Somerhalder is MINE!!

Oh and we really shouldn't care about celebs' sexuality, stop being so homophobic jeez. 

Love,

Miu xx

P.S. this post was totally on time and has been here all along, I did not happen to dream I had posted and not realise it was a dream once I woke up ;)

Homophobic Chickens

The Chick-fil-a debate may have died down a little in the past few weeks but it seems apt to resurrect it for this week’s theme, will someone always be gay? The boycott was not as a result of thousands of people disrespecting the company director’s right to freedom of speech as many mistakenly thought. But rather thousands of dollars of profits were going directly to ‘anti-gay camps’, for lack of a better term. I’ll admit, boycotting a business for a homophobic owner may seem a little over the top on the reaction scale, sure he’s an ass but does his livelihood and many others who also depend on the chain deserve to suffer? In this case yes, he’s not keeping his opinions to himself; by donating to these misguided camps it directly causes anguish to many LGBTQ teens and even adults.

The camp in question, although I’ll admit my research was brief, seems rather a complete waste of money. During the first stage of rehabilitation the idea is not to speak to anybody for fifteen days or so, with no contact with the outside world or the use of any media. This wouldn’t make me feel any less homosexual, just a lot crazier. These places prey on the fears of parents who care for their child but are frightened for them, if you just Google this company, Refuge in Milwaukee, their website is quick to point out how your loved one might be suffering from an unhealthy ‘love-addiction’, even citing cases of PTSD cause by such relationships.

It gets worse as well, some of this stuff is being taught in schools globally. There was a recent case in Malaysia where young boys were entered into a program by teachers who had concerns over their sexuality, often based on mere speculation, during school in the name of religion and ethics. I’ll admit this early targeting system is probably more effective, but ultimately more scaring. I doubt their school mates sympathised.

All my hopes were destroyed when he came out as gay :'(

I'm of the opinion your sexuality is part of who you are, it won’t change. It might take you time to find out what you truly identify as, and phases do exist; it’s perfectly possible to decide you are in fact gay after many years of being bi etc. Programs like these may stamp out any trace of the unusual from your child, but it will be a façade created by fear, no more. They will always be gay, or bi or lesbian or whatever it was you were so afraid of in the first place. You just destroyed any ounce of the courage they possessed to be themselves. Congratulations.

Todostrieb

Heartbreak Hotel

Gay marriage doesn’t bother me; it’s just the marriage part I don’t like. It seems like a binding promise to love someone forever, I don’t think it’s fair to make promises you can’t keep. Almost one in two marriages end in divorce nowadays and it probably reflects that it’s now socially acceptable to change partners, instead of being stuck with the man your parents chose for you for life.

I can see that marriage is more like a guarantee, it might be a more stable environment to raise and family, and from that point of view I think that gay marriage should be legal, they have just as much right to raising a family as any other couple.

It also seems weird to me that laws can be passed about religion, it seems like the two should be separate, my vote is we get rid of any legislation about marriage and let the open minded priests do whatever they like. How can a government interfere with God's will? If there is a god that is.

I don’t want to get married, mainly because I don’t want kids, they’re evil little buggers. But it also seems like a lot of effort, let’s say hypothetically I thought I could love someone until the end of time, why do I need to stand up in church in a frilly white dress and tell my nearest and dearest that? If you’ve already lived with and loved someone for a number of years, what does it change?

Let’s say I change my mind, which is a distinct possibility, I’d go to Vegas and get an Elvis look alike to marry me in jeans and a t-shirt. Then spend my honey moon playing reckless games of poker and drinking fancy cocktails.

All homojournalists will be expected to accompany me on this venture

Todostrieb

Guest Post - "In Retrospect, this post sucks."

I like to take a no bullshit approach to life, it seems to work. If at any given moment my position strays from the equilibrium (b—e—b where b = bullshit and e = equilibrium) I stop participating. When you realize that something has no effect on your life, it hits you like a brick. Whether it be a person, TV show, book series (not looking at Twilight fans) or an addiction, once you see that time is being wasted by interacting and/or participating, you close the book (seriously, Twilight fans).

This has been the case for me with many things. I used to watch Hollyoaks until one day I brought myself to say wtf and turn off the TV. Nowadays I rarely watch TV, not least because I access current affairs viapaper and Android apps. I took up photography, it’s working out brilliantly. I used to eat a lot of junk food through the course of the week, but after my budget expanded, I changed them to fruit. I like fruit. This particular example is quite specific, as ‘my budget expanding’ means ‘I am finally out of debt’ but you get the idea. A few times I just ran home from work because I got bored of cycling. It is possible you need an impulsive personality with a spice of instability in the family demographic.

However, the point remains unchanged: if you respect yourself and possess common sense, you will ensure you live a better and more fulfilling life. Right? Err…this is what makes me sad. Some people do not seem to have enough brainpower to even understand what common sense is. Another thing, there’s a lot of them.

So this post has now turned from a short boast to a longer boast about my superiority to others in correlation to one of the blog's previous themes (referring to gay-bashing)! Yeah, I’m arrogant like that. I don’t mean to say that you suck per se, but I would probably ignore you.

Do you see, dear reader, what I am doing? This is what gay-bashing or any form of discrimination and bullying feels like. Arrogant people like to maintain their arrogant ego, so consciously or unconsciously they will try to maintain their position. They won’t pick on their equals or anyone stronger - that would not boost their self-esteem and of course there’s a lower chance of success. They pick weak targets as scape goats - or at least seemingly weak targets.

Being honest, I personally do not care about gay-bashing; I've been bullied for having ginger hair – that is far worse as it starts at a much younger age. By the time you realise you’re gay (or others around you) it is most likely that you will have the tools and common sense (there it is again) to respond. If not…read this blog? Having read the posts, there are enough words and phrases that develop into tips and hints to be incorporated into your activities.

I realise my paragraphs do not flow like an A* Sociology essay, but I believe there’s food for thought.

Keep thinking, be the Devil’s Advocate.

Stokysta out.

Man-up! If they don't want gay... be as gay as you can be!

I am sure we all know that the only thing more irritating than someone annoying you accidentally is someone annoying you deliberately. At which point you just feel like either stuffing yourself with antidepressants (and cake) or taking out your alarmingly-crotch-height guillotine as revenge. But have you ever been on the "dark side"? How many times have you done something just because you were told not to? I know I have, plenty of times! Especially with James. Let me explain.

James sometimes (always) talks. Now sometimes (often) people ignore him. This makes James really frustrated because he has something really interesting to say, but people keep interrupting him (!). Finally he shouts: "Stop cutting me off! I'm trying to say something" (you should hear him, it is very funny). Anyways… James has finally got the attention he wanted and having gotten everyone to SHUT UP, he starts again: "As I was trying to say-" and once again he is promptly interrupted; but this time deliberately, maliciously  and hence, most irritatingly. It is quite entertaining to watch (ok, yes, I do it all the time).  And we keep going until his face looks like this

*sobs* Why won't they stop? I want mummy!

Ok, ok so maybe he looks  more like this…

If you don't stop now I'm going to murder you!

Oh lol… Wait what was the point of this? Ah yes, why not do the same with Gay-bashers? After all, you know what they say

Then again, having seen that second face (or keeping in mind that guillotine) you might want to reconsider. Although there is the lucky possibility of them running away crying because you are unaffected by their pathetic insults, you may also end up just making them angry and beating the crap out of you :D So before you decide to take on this approach, my advise is to consider who you are dealing with. If it is a short-tempered tall muscly guy who could crush you with one finger than you might want to lay low.

Nevertheless, you may also decide to toughen up, work out and build yourself an unbreakable character to go up to that bully and make him wished he never crossed your path muahahah. Hey don't judge me you'll understand if you look at this!

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Ff_6VsRuas

Oh come on! Did you not think that was amazing!? :D

Sure, if you are not the violent type you can always take on a more… loving approach?

Oh boy, can you really say that with a straight (non-sarcastic) face?

I just came across this article on the guardian app thingy on Facebook and… I have no words. I find it really appalling. "London buses have been booked to carry a Christian advertising campaign expected to start next week, which asserts the power of therapy to change the sexual orientation of gay people."

The anti-gay advertising campaign blocked by TfL to be shown on London buses

I mean, are you fucking serious!? I think this is one of those things that arise from ignorance as my fellow bloggers have already said and its people that just refuse to open their minds and think otherwise. It is something that makes me really sad… I mean, take for example the fact that they expressly support a practice that has been deemed, by every respectable psychiatric in the world, abusive and ineffective. Is that something that free speech covers? Advertising in favour of abuse? Maybe so, but is it something we as consumers should tolerate? The fact that a company would allow that type of advertising...

Although gay-bashers may be scary, one ought to remember that, as with all bigotry, the thing that gay bashers are - more than ignorant, more than stupid - is frightened. I mean "homoPHOBIA", it's right there in the bloody name! They are frightened because they are ignorant, and because they are frightened they are dangerous, nasty and angry.

The "solution" to this problem, for society, could be to alleviate their fear through education and (not to be too grim about it) indoctrination (the good kind). However, for the individual facing this problem, his or her solution is obvious - you frighten them, so get frightening.

We are always here for any advice (though I do not guarantee it would be good), but that's all for today. Don't forget I'll be back next week!

Love,

Miu xx

P.S. Don't forget to e-mail us at homojournal@gmail.com for any questions, comments, request or if you are bored and have nothing better to do. We are available 24/7 (that is 24 minutes every 7 hours) so try your luck!

4 easy ways to protect yourself from gay-bashing.

It seems that out of all of our homo-journalists, I'm the only one who has been gay-bashed at some point. I'm not going to go into much detail about it now, that's for coming out week, but let it be said that the gay-bashing has now stopped, and much like James, any gay-bashing that does come my way, I tend to take in good humour.

If, on the other hand, you are still being gay-bashed (I promise you it does stop - see the video at the top of the blog), here are 4 easy, untested and untried ways to protect yourself from it.


1: Know thine enemy
Most of the people who bash gays in a non-sexual way, tend to be homophobic. So, after having safely evaluated and weighed up the potential dangers, opportunities to be stabbed, opportunities to be shot, and opportunities for cock, get to know some homophobic people. Perhaps this is the example I couldn't think of last week about stereotypes not being useful to anyone. Well, I lied, they might be useful here.

Once you get to know some homophobic people, take what they have in common, and use it to your advantage. For example, if you know they're all complete mummy's boys, when they come at you and your boyfriend/girlfriend wielding a machete or an AK-47, threaten them with "I know where you live and I'll tell your mummy." Remember to take pleasure in the look of absolute terror that that line will strike into them, and once you've done that, make good your escape.

2: Alienate your friends and family 
In order to be able to survive gay bashing/homophobia/whatever you want to call it, you need a thick skin. Rather than stand in front of the mirror shouting "rectum raider" and other such insults at yourself (although that might be a good way to start immunising yourself from the 'phobes), ask pay your boyfriend/girlfriend/brother/sister/mum/dad/best friend/etc to do so for you. This gets you used to other people insulting you, and since the insults are coming from the people you know, it'll ultimately hurt you more than what some tosser outside the tube station will say to you.

This will obviously come with considerable side effects, such as losing contact with friends and the immediate family, and may end your relationship with your other half, so be warned, this is a dangerous option. If side effects persist, you should seek advice from your GP...

3: Sign a peace treaty in Jelly Babies and Vodka 
It's a well-known fact that everybody on the planet adores Jelly Babies and Vodka. You should use this to your advantage and draw up a peace treaty of Jelly Babies and Vodka; you hand over x kilos of Jelly Babies in return for the same amount of Vodka for you and your significant other to either drink, fuel your getaway car with, or both.

4: Straight-bashing
What makes the heteros of the world so different from the homos anyway? >.<

(Disclaimer: Any fool who actually tries any of the above is a fool. These have not been tried and tested for effectiveness, and will probably result in you and your other half getting more hurt than you would have done had you just ignored it and moved on.)

Preventing Gay Bashing step 1: possess a vagina and two X chromosomes

The last bully I ran into ended up with a leg broken in 3 places. Whilst I can neither confirm nor deny my involvement in the incident causing these injuries, I like to think that justice was done.

This idiot didn’t make fun of me for being gay. Nobody has. I’ve never been told I’m unnatural or a freak. Nobody has ever treated me differently when I told them I’m bisexual. In fact the common reaction is indifference, or, in the odd case, curiosity and arousal. Of course, I would never presume that being a bisexual female is turn on for guys; we all know it’s my amazing  tits and personality that create my sex appeal.

The point stands. I have been bullied for being smart (by which I mean being a nerdy know-it-all) and for having a weird looking leg, but have never been treated badly for my sexuality.

I’d also like to think, that if somebody did have a problem with my sexuality, that I would handle him/her the way I would any other idiot: with self-confidence and patience. The small minded are to be pitied not hated. And if that failed I’m sure I could form an army at short notice to defend my honour.

I have held hands with girls in public, I have hugged girls in public, I have kissed girls in public and nobody has said or done anything. I have the right, as much as anyone, to be with those I care about wherever I like...property laws permitting. I’m not suggesting my girl and I have the right to break into Buckingham palace and fuck in the throne room because we’re queer. But I might go so far as to say, that if my beau was a duck I should be allowed to carry him round and quack to him lovingly as long as I did it with respect for those around me.  

We should all have the freedom to be with those we love and to not be afraid to do so. I can’t help but think a male gay couple might have more trouble than I have had. Even if nobody would say anything, or harm them openly, the fear would be there. Do gay bashing types see women as an easy target? After all these years are we still afraid to hit girls? Probably.

Or, perhaps I’m just lucky?  I live in London after all, maybe there are some big nasty gay bashers waiting around the corner for my girlfriend and I. Not to worry though, I can defend her with my ummm ability to eat vast quantities of frozen yoghurt and reach a top B. Yet, I’d much prefer to think that times are changing and queer relationships are being accepted rather than believe that it is only a matter of time and live my life in fear of an attack.

The LBGTQ community shouldn’t be afraid of people’s opinions. We need to go public; we need to show people that our love and relationships are just as natural as those between a man and woman. Ignorance breeds hatred and it’s our duty to eradicate the ignorance.

I am a Christian. Some Christians say homosexuality is a sin. In reply, I say a consensual relationship or love could never be a sin.

I am a scientist. Some scientists say homosexuality is unnatural. In reply, I say that here are some convincing arguments as to why homosexuality is an evolutionary advantage, and research to suggest the chemical processes causing love between a man and woman are also present in queer couples. But essentially, many species have queer sexual relations why not homo sapiens?

I am a human capable of cognition and speech. Some living, breathing and apparently thinking humans say homosexuality is wrong because if we were all gay the human race would die out. In reply, I say I am not enforcing LGBTQ relationships on the unwilling. I am supporting queer as a lifestyle choice....actually I would probably just slam my head against a wall if someone actually said that to me seriously.

Whilst I have never suffered because of my sexuality there are many many many more people who have. And that’s so wrong it breaks my heart.

As always readers, it’s been a pleasure,

All my love,

Mel.

PS. You can now follow the links on the homepage to our internet network (knights from the land of Tumblr, the faithful facebookians and twitters can now rejoice)!