Good afternoon all. I’m Sam, and I have decided,
against all odds, to contribute my thoughts this week on the subject of fetish.
I ought to first make clear that my affiliation with LGBT issues is purely
“political”; much to my mother’s displeasure, I’m straight (or at least, so I
tell my girlfriend) but I have long sympathized with and supported LGBT rights
movements. Which brings me neatly to my chosen topic. When I first thought
about what I might write about fetishes I found myself at a loss, while not
exactly ignorant of the world of sexual deviance, I’m sad to say I’ve hardly
participated myself. Now, I’ve dabbled in some mildly adventurous sexual
practices, from light bondage to semi-public, but I’d be hard pushed to
identify any “fetish” I can call my own. I mean… I have a deeply unhealthy
devotion to pianos and my brother and I enjoy making highly inappropriate
incest jokes (“’Sup bro, looking fit today- I would” again, much to my mother’s
displeasure, most especially when she’s the subject), but I don’t think either
of those really counts.
But then I got it; I do have a fetish, you might not have heard of it, it’s not
talked about often but I have a feeling it’s actually fairly common. I am
completely mad about vaginal sex. You heard. If you’re not sure what it is I
wouldn’t worry, there are some very informative articles and even some video
footage on the Internet. It’s quite disgusting, it almost always involves a fair
quantity of mucus and sweating; most girls I know completely refuse to indulge
it (at least with me at any rate). But what can I say, I just can’t get off
without it (ok, that might not be true, but suspend your disbelief so I can
make my point), one way or another it has to be involved. Now, I know, I know,
you don’t want to hear about my sex life, but that’s sorta my point- no one
wants to hear about anyone’s sex life (again, not true, there many people who
love hearing about other people’s sex lives, might even qualify as a fetish for
some of them, but again bear with me- I’m getting to a point of sorts) because
sex lives are almost invariably disgusting (that is, at least, if they’re any
good).
In the course of the LGBT rights movement a great many “arguments” have been
made by the bigoted masses as to why this group of people are and that this
kind of love is unacceptable, immoral and, most importantly, gay. But, however
clever, theological or morally authoritarian these arguments appear to some, ultimately
they all boil down to a simple and pathetic truth- bigots find gay sex, gay
love and most importantly, gays, disgusting (oh and don’t forget transvestites
and transsexuals, those guys/gals clearly give ‘em the creeps too). Because of
this, they sought to ostracize and oppress gays at every turn. In truth, the
same thing happens (sadly with a much larger crowd of disgustees) with people
who engage in fetishes of some kind or another. The world finds their given
fetish so unspeakable, so incomprehensible, so damned unpleasant to think about
that we deliberately make outcasts of them. Now mostly, this takes place on a
purely social level- we are openly disparaging about them in various media, we
strongly discourage them from being open or honest about their sexual practices
and if they fail to comply or kick up a fuss, we quickly outcast them. However,
there are some fetishes to which there is a legislative barrier in this country.
In 1993 there was a legal case in which a group of very serious sado-masochists
who were tried and convicted of assault on one another, despite all the
activities having been consensual and private (the groups actions were
discovered by accident by the local police force) because in this country, you
cannot consent to actual or grievous bodily harm (except in boxing… an
exception made because we… like boxing… but sex is dirty). All the arguments
made to uphold this decision fall flat on their face when looked at with a
lucid mind, revealing (much to everyone’s shock and horror I’m sure) that the
real reason these convictions were made was because people found their actions
disgusting. Heck, I make jokes about incest (“Hey mum, looking pretty fit
today- I would”) and I found them disgusting! But my finding them disgusting
doesn’t mean these people shouldn’t be allowed to indulge any sexual fantasy
involving consenting, able minded adults. My point is this, just because more
people share my fetish for vaginal sex, doesn’t mean I should have the right to
practice my fetish, while those with more outlandish fetishes are forced into,
at best, secrecy and, at worst, repression.
It is my hope that with this contribution I will ensure that I am asked
to write for this blog again, fingers crossed, or file a restraining order either one.
