Cakes give you food babies...sex gives you an actual baby

So there's been some confusion this week (more-so than usual) about which theme we're running with. It's either 'sex myths I thought were real' or 'cake'. I figured both were quite interesting so I'll just go with the flow.

Firstly, I'm in uni dorms. Catered uni dorms. There are no ovens. Thus....I BRING YOU...ZE MUG CAKES OF PEACE AND TRANQUILLITY....

Or if you are so inclined....

If you go for the chocolate use real coco powder, not hot-chocolate which has added milk and sugar, which generally, you know, fucks shit up.

Here are the recipes...

http://blogs.babble.com/family-kitchen/2011/11/18/8-easy-recipes-you-can-make-in-a-mug/

That page also has a variety of interesting mug experiments for me to try later. And to think! People laughed at me when I bought cooking ingredients from tesco, despite not having a kitchen. 

Confession time...my mug cake looked more like this...

But, it tasted fine, which is better than most of my culinary exploits. So, let us move on.

Sex myths? Are there still any around, I didn't think so. We all get taught sex ed (well almost everyone in the UK does) from a young age. I remember being traumatised by a cartoon couple tickling each other with feathers....in sex ed as a child.

Anyway, over a year ago now, I started a job with a charity called the Terrence Higgins Trust. It was actually set up by Mr Higgins to help gay men suffering from HIV...but now it's expanded to catch, treat and educate about sexual diseases in all young people across the country. Here are some of my favourite sex myths people have asked me about, or told me while I have been working.

1. You can get chlamydia from a toilet seat
2. You can get chlamydia from kissing
3. A condom protects from all sexual diseases
4. Coldsores can't cause genital herpes
5. There's a cure for HIV now

These are all false.

It wasn't uneducated people who believed these, it wasn't stupid people, it was people just like you an me, who just listened to the wrong sources of information.

Anyway children,

Be safe,

Mel

PS//

This is a cuddly chlamydia germ : D isn't he cute?

We need to talk about PDA.. or maybe not

Throughout this week, I have been pestering random people about their opinions on PDA. The most frequent answer I got was "What, them gadgety thingies?". To most, PDA = personal digital assistants...
People don't really care about public displays of affection. Or maybe, that's just an unused term in England. Once I explain to the said people, the common answer was "Why should you care about what other people think? If I want to kiss my gf/bf, I will".

Opportunistic PDA >.< 'T'is like the only times me and Rafaello are the same height......  

I'm not too keen on PDA. My slight aversion to PDA stems from the modest asian mixed with my conservative grandmother's teachings, and my bitter periods of single-ness, in which the mere sight of couples, casually PDA-ing brought out the lime-jello monster in me. I'd see couples EVERYWHERE. I used to stare daggers. That habit has stuck.

Although, currently I am happy, I don't see couples much at all.  (jesus, I'm beginning to sound like a crazy person.. "I see PDA...... all the time") . The only couples that have come to my attention are those that go over-the-top, and are in the way.

Last week, on the tube, this something like this happened... and they blocked the door I was supposed to leave through :'(

So, YAY for PDA, but keep it PG, don't go over the top and make people awkward. As for lgbt PDA, I don't mind it. I like lgbt PDA, I find it cute, and it's spreading awareness. Why should you be ashamed, just because you're lgbt? (gee, perhaps I'm a hypocrite?). When me and Mel dated, I suppose we must have made some people awkward e.g. our deputy-head of sixth form college... urk. I never had any bad experiences with LGBT PDA, however, there are still communities out there, who react negatively to shows of homosexuality. If you do feel like PDA is putting you in any kind of danger, it's probably best to keep it private. Holding hands is not worth getting beat up over... or is it? 

In April 2011, there was a protest at a pub in Soho that kicked out a gay couple for "obscene kissing"...

read guardian article

Damn, I think I rambled again. 
Hopefully, I made some sense.. somewhere. 
Till next time,

Eli

PDA's, yay, nay or different for gay?

Alas, I did not come up with that title myself. ('Alas' was one of the words I used to help me remember the amino acid 'Alanine, Ala' on my last exam, you can probably guess the reasons for the post muddle up).

PDA's? Never! How dare you show that much wrist in public...DEAR GOD, is that an ankle I see? *Swoon*

One is not amused

My real opinion on PDA's? Go for it, do what you like, when you like where you like. If there are children around keep it PG, but realistically even 3 year olds have seen Megara and Hercules snog, so, decency is a little different to what it once was.

If you're gay, black white, or a rainbow stripe flying fish, same applies.

Of course, it's your choice, people have different levels of comfort with the touchy feely stuff, especially in public. I mean sure, if this world was Mel land it would be a den of decadence and nerdiness in nearly equal measures (also pizza). But, sadly I am yet to come into my magical inheritances, despite being of age. Moral of the story, until I am your unquestioned leader (best put it in your diary for next thursday) then do as you please kind sirs.

Now, onto Mel's real topic of the week, her next exam. Excitable tissues, sadly a lot less exciting as the name promises. If only the dreary drudgery of multiple choice questions would be broken by affection of any kind. Alas (my new word of the day) I am left with the emotionless voice of Dr H and my hundreds of flash cards.

Lots of Love Mel

PS//

Pain fibres:

'C'  Carry Crude touch
'A' pain Arises Abruptly and is blocked by Asphyxiation

Enjoy those pain fibres you hardcore rebel, you...

I swear to drunk officer I'm not God.

********Disclaimer...I was not actually drunk when writing this, though it may seem the case. I was just high on caffeine, exam stress and jelly legs from the gym. Also I'm insane. *********

Describe each of the homojournal writers in a few sentences.
James- Small, fluffy.
Todostrieb- Middle sized, probably sleeping.
Eli- Smallest, also has tiny hands.
Rory- Taller, musically talented.
Miu- Middle sized, has nice hair.
Becky- Tall, has nice eyes.

Say which lbgt issue you feel most strongly about and why.
Probably marriage. Selfishly, because it’s the one most likely to affect me...why shouldn't I be allowed to marry a girl in church?

Would you rather have a horse the size of a rabbit, or a rabbit the size of a horse- explain your reasoning in no less than 200 words.
I would like a rabbit the size of a horse, because he would love me and be a good body guard. Also, it’d be cute. I would like a rabbit the size of a horse, because he would love me and be a good body guard. Also, it’d be cute. I would like a rabbit the size of a horse, because he would love me and be a good body guard. Also, it’d be cute. I would like a rabbit the size of a horse, because he would love me and be a good body guard. Also, it’d be cute....etc

Summarize the entire world LGBT history in no more than 200 words (ie what you think everyone... absolutely everyone should be told).
The LGBT community is the same as any other...because sexuality doesn’t change who you are. Some of us are weird. Some straight people are too. Penis in bumholes is not disgusting, grow up.

Embarrassing confession.
I actually quite like JB.

What is love/ what does love mean to you?
“Love means never having to say you’re sorry.”

Where homosexuality arises from (what makes someone gay).
There’s increasing research to suggest that our sexuality is determined at birth. For example the majority of identical twins share sexuality. (According to my BHS lecture notes). For years we couldn’t explain finger prints, why should sexuality have a great mystery behind it? We’ll know soon enough, so speculation is a waste of time.

Happiest moment you can think of, first thing that pops in your mind, no cheating! But fairly serious, don't you dare say stuff "eating a chocolate bar".
Finishing my first exam this morning...this is the most recent, hence why I thought of it first. But, if you want a good one, holding my baby sister for the first time.

Would you rather kill someone you love to end a war in a foreign country, or kill someone you hate and thereby start one?
I don’t think I could ever kill someone...every possible decision they could have made is just wiped out. Death is like the ultimate restriction of free will.

Assign a Pokemon to each Homojournalist, and justify it.
Almost all my pokemon knowledge is from the first movies and series. So, I’m going to assign Ash’s charizard to be a general homojournal mascot. When he gets his head stuck in the pipe...he pretty much represents all of our awkwardness in one scene. Also, I love him.

If you could go back and change something about your life what would it be?
I WOULD HAVE REVISED MORE FOR THESE JANUARY EXAMS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! STUPID MEL.

If you were stuck on a deserted island which one book, movie and person would you want to take along?
Book, time travellers wife. Movie, V for vendetta (though this seems pointless without a DVD player or indeed, electricity). Person, one of those survival guides on TV who enjoy living on desert islands.

Who, other than your significant other, would we have to give you for sexy-times to get you to give us all your money?
An unlimited supply of anyone I wanted, whenever and however I wanted.

Who would you rather 'have'/'do'/etc - Justin Bieber or One Direction?
Depends on if I had to do all of 1D at the same time really...

Much Love,
Mel xxx

Mr Potter, Our New Celebrity

Tell me what would I get if I added powdered root of asphodel to an infusion of wormwood?

If you know the answer to that off the top of you head, stop reading now, turn off your computer and get a life. Here's a short clip for you, because there is absolutely nothing that is not sexy about Pf. Snape / Alan Rickman.

Anyway, our topic of the week is gay celebrities. In a strange twist of fate none of the actors in the Harry Potter films are openly gay (none that showed up in a google search anyway). Is this because of discrimination in the acting world? Maybe. Is this because actors are the best at hiding their sexuality with their mysterious wiles and ability to lie with their entire bodies? Maybe. Is it because roughly 10 % of the population are gay and there's only about 20 actors the average person can name in the film series? Most likely. I'd bet my money on some of the smaller roles being filled by our fellow LGBTs.

I did uncover some interesting rumours about Daniel Radcliffe's sexuality though. I always knew Harry and Draco were destined to be together. If only the slash pairings that existed online also existed in real life.

This brings me onto my main point.

Ben Whishaw is of course, the main point of life.

There’s a lively and ongoing internet debate about whether Whishaw is gay. The general supposition is that he is – based mainly on the fact that he gave an interview to the gay magazine Out not long ago. Whishaw, himself, though, isn’t saying anything.-The Telegraph

I don't see how I can be frustrated about his lack of public speeches regarding his sexuality (as I've managed to convince half the people I know I'm gay, a quarter that I'm straight, and a quarter that I'm bisexual) but somehow I am.

In his interview with OUT magazine (homojournalists may enjoy the website, which has interviews and ideas for venturing out of the house etc) he speaks about the importance of gay role models for young people. He goes on to speak about sexuality being a transitional thing, that he felt he was in the middle of at the moment. I promptly felt guilty for pushing him to chose a team...even though I have never contacted him in any way. Standing outside his house admiring his new curtains doesn't count as contact does it?

Anyway it occurred to me that all the stress we feel when coming out, is magnified hundreds of times if your famous. There's increased pressure to be a role model (so no stumbling drunk out of G-A-Y in the early hours of Saturday morning), and you don't just have to deal with the reactions of those close to you but also those on the other side of the world. Maybe actors as a breed are also more into self exploration etc? If you spend all day pretending to be somebody else, perhaps it takes a little longer to work out who you really are.

So in conclusion I will with great reluctance leave Ben Whishaw to his own devices. (OK I'll admit to the occasional google). But, if he and Daniel Craig were to get married, I would die of happiness. They may in addition to being one of my OTPs as Bond/Q also have made it to my list of real life OTPs as Whishaw/Craig.

I just want to eat him? Is that so wrong?

Lots of Love Mel

Ps// No post script today

So, what’s a girl like you doing in a place like this?

Ahahahahahaha my commentary on finding guys and girls to date....ahahahahahaha what poor depraved creatures would want my techniques in dating?

Pretty much how I look and act in real life.

Firstly the guys. Previously I thought the only flirting I did was to act awkwardly until people took pity on me. It has only recently come to my attention that playing with people’s hair and holding hands counts as flirting. Suddenly, lots of things make sense. According to my mum, letting guys pay for my drinks also counts as flirting. Oh dear. Perhaps you would like some anecdotes about my recent dating history with guys.

And my mum calls herself a feminist.... seriously though when did a drink equate to sex....

A guy we shall call S kept asking me out for drinks/dinner/sexual acts...and as he knew I had a girlfriend at the time, and I had only just met him, I assumed he was joking. My put downs got gradually more cutting as he kept asking, and I thought it was a running joke amongst the guys at work. Then one night, he invited me out to dinner, in response I insulted his jogging bottoms. 30 seconds later I got a text from one of the other guys at work who’d been witness to this, saying ‘he’s serious you know’....turns out I’d actually been crushing this guy without realising. Needless to say I stopped feeling guilty for this when I fell asleep on him one night and he bit my boob. Yes readers, he bit my boob....through my clothes, with no provocation.

Another guy we shall call L kept asking to meet up, I thought he meant all the work guys so I went along with it....turns out I’ve now accidently asked him on a date.....I asked him to invite everyone else and he got really crushed. Awkward.

Anyway, so I guess my advice to girls wanting to meet guys is play with their hair and hold their hands....also work in security doing night shifts it’s all pervy guys....I guess you could also just go to a bar on your own and look sad and pretty until someone comes up to you. Alternatively, man the fuck up and ask someone out, or buy a guy a drink.

My advice to you if you are a guy, looking for a guy derives from some very strange chats with 2 gay guys I worked nights with, and admittedly we do talk some shit 12 hours into a 15 hour shift, so forgive me. It seemed that all their cuddle buddies and boyfriends have either been met through mutual friends or through strange dating sites and mobile apps....worth a Google I guess. LGBT socs at universities are also an obvious meeting place for our brethren.

So you might be thinking...you clearly fail at reading the signs with guys, maybe you’re better with girls? No. No, is the sad answer to that. Sometimes I’m surprised I get through life without being hit by buses....yet along meet new girls. My main problem is working out if they’re gay.

Now, a golden rule. All girls will be gay if they are drunk. This doesn’t make them actually gay, and makes the morning after a lot more awkward. Another rule...some girls think it might be cool, or fancy experimenting a bit....the only gay in college types. And, another some girls are actually gay and just shy, or still in the closet.  Finally, some gay girls are just out. Oh also, some bisexual girls have histories with guys that make them look straight. You can see that meeting gay girls is a minefield....

So en sommaire. I’m just going to cry alone in my room and hope that my puesdo date with L isn’t too embarrassing....after one of the most awkward conversations of my life we are no going as ‘mates’ whatever the hell that means. Oh god.

Yours socially awkwardly,

Mel.....queen of awkward accidental flirting

Please ignore anything you know about goldfish anatomy for this next paragraph...

PS...new favourite pick up line I heard today à

There are three goldfish living in a bowl together, two guys and a girl. The girl has some existential anxiety going on. She really wants to get out of the bowl, which has become like a prison to her. One of the guys tells her he knows a way out. But he says he’ll only tell her if she sleeps with him. She doesn’t think she has anything to lose, so they have a night of fun, and when she wakes up the next morning the guy fish is gone. She’s baffled and asks the other male. He says he knows where the first guy went, but will only tell her if she sleeps with him. They have a night of fun and yet again when the girl wakes up alone....so where did the male fish go? I know the answer, but i’ll only tell you if you sleep with me babes : D

They say she turned straight

There's an article in the Daily Mail, about a woman that went from:

this, 

To this. 

If you type the words "I want to be turned straight" into Google, countless search results pop up, with desperate people trying to find a way out of who they are.

I take this as an indicator that homosexuality and bisexuality is something that you are born with, or something that happens, not something you choose. But in this article, the ex-lesbian states that dating women was a "choice" and not something that just happened. There was a controversy a few months back when a public figurehead stood up and announced her lesbianism was a choice. 

Perhaps this means that to some, choosing homosexuality is a choice, and to those for whom it is a choice, it may be possible to reverse that choice. However, to others, to whom it is not a choice, it could be mentally damaging to try to go-straight. My mother's friend Janet (I think) has had years of counseling due to psychological damaged caused by fanatical christian anti-homosexuality camps she was forced to attend as a teenager by her parents.

Then of course, there are some that choose to live a lie.

They say: "you can only be truly happy if you accept who you really am", but what is happiness?

"The temptation to lie to yourself, to go on living a lie, is overwhelming.."

For me personally, I think she (in the Daily Mail story) looks better as a lesbian. But I'm not the type to find the average marital bliss attractive. I think people who say that they had a choice are in fact bisexuals *shrugs*, but I am pretty much ignorant in these subjects.. again.. 

I don't think you can change who you are.. "It doesn't hurt to try it" is often a lie.. Often times if you stick with it, things get better. Especially being gay :)

see ya next Thursgay, 

eli x

ps, feel free to comment and message us :D

Celebrity Celibate Precedent

Celibacy? What is that?

This is one of my weaker areas. So, instead of rambling about concepts I cannot understand- here is a list of things I would try before celibacy.

1. Eating my own arm
2. Yoga
3. Giving birth
4. A history degree
5. Undergo a crucio

Here for your amusement, so celebrities who tried celibacy....note the tried....

Lol daisy duke was celibate

born to be brave....not celibate

I like her new hair....pretty much the same as mine

Lots of love and sleep deprived ramblings,

Mel

There's only one first time...

After that you are no longer classed as a virgin, you've lost your "V Card".
Right at this very moment, if you asked me why I haven't had sex, I think, my answer would probably be "I haven't found the right person". Truth be told there hasn't even been that person for me yet but something I strongly believe in is: love before sex. 

I'm sure the line sex after marriage rings a bell, but that would just take forever. Who knows when or even if I will ever get to that place of "together forever".

I guess for some people it's just about getting it over and done with, or being in the moment, but for most teenagers it's the overwhelming pressure. It's the what do you say to your friends or random people when they ask you about you sex life? How do you feel; left out, undesired, uncool, embarrassed? Confidence has a lot to do with it.
I feel like it's something that you do and can't take back, you either love it or don't. 
For a portion of my life I think people referred to sex as "It"
Have you done "it"? or what was "it" like?, you know IT!
It's like "it", has become a synonym of "sex". The obvious stretching of the T at the end of it and a glare to let the person know what your referring to. 
It's the norm, no one questions it, well that's a lie.
I've never thought about what my virginity means to me, most likely because I have that crazy feeling love for me doesn't exist but it is important to me that I don't lose my "V card" to a stranger or even by accident. 
Hey it happens.
I don't want to regret it.
How old would you have to be for it to be ok to have sex? Now, how old would your child have to be for you to be ok for them to lose their virginity?
I think some children or teens mature faster than others, some have a better understanding, but to answer all of these questions, I don't know! Not a clue because I'm innocent, I don't have that experience so I can't make that decision, as for my own child; we'll see, having the talk comes to mind, kinda just makes me laugh.
Ok, what if you come to that scenario, you don't have a boyfriend or any kind of relationship going on with anyone, but you want to have sex. (let's say it's because you're a certain age and your friends all have) How do you do it? Flirt with girls or guys your own age, go to a party and sleep around? 

Religiously, I've never met anyone who has said "because of my religion I do not believe in having sex before marriage" and so that's how they choose to live their own life. In my opinion, I wouldn't know how to believe someone who says that. How would you know they are telling the truth?
What if after 30 years your still waiting for that special someone to propose? Could you really wait that long. Won't you feel like it's something your missing out on? 
I am still a virgin, I could say that I am proud to be so but I also haven't had the choice not to be one.
I don't feel left out or want to, more importantly I don't feel pressured but I would like that choice.


Your Guest-slave Lavender x

Sorry it's not long, I could go one but I feel myself going round in circles and not getting to any point. I've had a busy week. So stressed out.

What's mine is mine, so hands off bitch!

My idea of swinging

I am the Queen of the world!

Others' idea of swinging

I want to have sex with your partner for a night, do you want mine?

My idea of sharing

omnomnom just like Lady and the Tramp

Others' idea of sharing

Of course your other girlfriend can come

My idea of open relationship

The world deserves to know how nauseating we are

Others' idea of open relationship

Whose turn is it tonight?

Obviously people have different opinions, but my ideas look way more fun, cute and happy, why change them?

Reasons for swinging according to Wikipedia

1- Increased quality, quantity and frequency of sex.

One does not have to be a nymphomaniac to appreciate sex; some are never satisfied and just want more.  This is largely determined by testosterone levels, though it might also be induced by some sort of trauma (daddy issues?). Either way, I can understand that one may want a lot of sex, but is this a good justification? Why would anyone want to have sex with someone who isn't me? Let's not be ridiculous. Want more sex? Take a week off, no need to get other couples involved.

2- To add variety into an otherwise conventional sex life.

Though I understand this reason, I don't believe swinging is necessarily the solution. There are plenty of ways to add variety; want to spice things up in bed? Have a look at our fetish week. Experiment, talk to each other, what you like, what you don't like, find ways that will satisfy both. Hey, you can even invite a third party if you really want.

3- Curiosity.

Now this, I'm ok with. It’s normal to be curious, and it is often good to experiment. If both parties agree, one can always try. Communication is, however, very important. The couple should talk about how this experience made them feel, and if there is even a slight discomfort, stop before it's too late.

4- A healthy outlet and means to strengthen the relationship.

If by "strengthen the relationship" one means: "that was horrible, I was thinking of you the whole time, I never want to have sex with someone else!" Then yes, I agree. However, if the response is more like "well that was fun, I enjoyed having sex with someone else, we should do it more often" then I fail to understand how it strengthens the relationship.

In my opinion, swinging is like "justified cheating". However, it is also true that a relationship is more than just sex, it is about the feelings behind it. I said swinging is like justified cheating, but that does not imply it is wrong unless I prove cheating is wrong. Cheating has become a synonym of betrayal. You no longer satisfy your partner enough, so he/she felt the need to compensate with someone else. One can't help but feel hurt by this. It brings discomfort and anger in a relationship and this is generally considered wrong. Some believe swinging is the solution to this, but how does the fact that both members agree to cheat on each other (cause cheating is having sex, or any sexual activity, with someone that is not your partner) make it any better? If I find out my boyfriend slept with someone else and I decided to then sleep with someone else too, is that any different?

My argument may be flawed, I'm not going to spend too much time on making a perfectly logical argument, but all I know is I would never want to have sex with someone other than my boyfriend (and I am not just saying it because I know he will read this). Nevertheless, lust and love are separate, and if he  had sex with someone else, was honest and open about it and still decided to come back to me (because I am obviously better) then I would welcome him back (though I am not saying I would be enthusiastic about it and this is not a form of encouragement *stares at boyfriend*). Maybe this shows I am a masochist, maybe I'm just stupid.

Someone once told me that cheating is often a symptom, rather than a cause, of problems in a relationship. Instead of looking for "outlets", one should look closer to figure out what is going on within. There is no point in being with someone if you find yourself looking forward to "swinging night" to sleep with someone else.

As always, I would be more than happy to hear your opinions on the matter, whether they are the same or - even better - different from my own.

Love,

Miu xx

P.S. Don't forget to e-mail us at homojournal@gmail.com for any questions, comments, request or if you are bored and have nothing better to do. We are available 24/7 (that is 24 minutes every 7 hours) so try your luck!

Garden Swings, Swingers and Tinkerbell...

I outgrew the kiddies swing set in my back garden around the age of sixteen, when I was thrown into the world of leather sex swings and swinging couples. Well, I exaggerate a little, leather sex swings are still on my to do list. Swinging, sharing partners or being in an open relationship are ideas that looks brilliant on paper - like building a set of wings out of feathers and wax and taking a closer look at the sun - but in reality it starts off hot, and before you know it you’re falling through the sky never to be seen again.

So I lied, sue me, that swing set will always have a place in my heart.

The problem, of course, is the green eyed monster. While in our minds it’s fine for our better halves to have as much freedom as they want, in our hearts there’s a little lion that says "rawr" and digs his claws in until it hurts. It starts off fun, makes things interesting, but it quickly becomes a tug and pull on your heartstrings.

Now, to those of you thinking jealousy would be a turn on or that you wouldn't even get jealous, I will give a few words of warning. Some people find it easy to separate sex and emotions, to me sex can be just sex, but it can also be more. Bully for us. This doesn’t mean swinging is a good idea. Jealousy is spawned from insecurity, something even the cold hearted bitches amongst us are victims of.  Sooner or later you start to wonder if those girls’ boobs are bigger than yours, if he likes her hair better and so on.

As a bisexual I suspect there can be even more insecurity rising up from the cavernous gender divide. What if your bisexual counterpart has a craving for washboard abs and goatee? As a girl the only penis I can offer is silver and made of silicone. What if they’re bored of vagina and fancy their chances with a guy instead of a girl? Or vice versa? These are all things to think carefully about when coming up with open relationship agreements.

Human beings are a strange species; we often find the things that can hurt us the most coveted. With that temptation in mind added to my own sluttiness of course, I can understand why swinging is more and more a common occurrence. Playing with fire is fun, but better watch out you don’t get burnt! You’ve got to be careful that the real reason you want to spice things up by swapping partners isn’t that there is nothing left to spice up. Your relationship has to be strong for swinging to work, and, as we all know, relationships that strong are fairy dust.

90% of people in a happy open relationship are lying, maybe to you, maybe to themselves, maybe to both.

So, having put forward my distrust of swingers, I now have to give you the other side of the argument. I have an older friend whose girlfriend has been studying in America. They've been dating for years and at first the separation was hard for them. They both wanted to carry on dating each other but the thought of a dry spell lasting several years was a painful one. After a bit of fumbling around, they decided on what I like to call a "closed open relationship"; like a closed adoption but more confusing. Basically, they do whatever with whomever and don’t tell each other about it. Apparently the secrecy prevents the jealous issue rearing its ugly head. Personally, I think it would just allow my imagination to run wild and drive me mad. Nevertheless, it clearly worked for them; this September they’ll be reunited, the open relationship deals will come to an end, they'll get married and run off into the sunset. 

En sommaire, if swinging is your thing, THINK ABOUT IT. Talk about it, and continue to talk about it after your swinging exploits have begun. I don't mean share all the gory details, I mean share your *shudders with 
horror* actual feelings about it. 


Lots of Love,
Mel
xxx

Spiders, Monkey Brains and Casserole...

The household of Mel is full of Kauai wolf spiders. Not literally, although, I have always wanted a pet tarantula. I mean that, in terms of family relationships we seem to be modelled on this breed of spider instead of Homo sapiens. After mating and conceiving the female tries to eat the male. Luckily my dad has infinite patience and can hold his own. In times of stress or starvation the mother will eat her young. My sisters and I have learnt to avoid my mum while she is dieting. In return when we grow old enough to leave the nest, we too will turn cannibal and eat our parents as a send off.  In other words we don’t get on well.

Say what you like. I think spiders are cute.

Don’t get me wrong, my family of spiders belongs together, who else would buy me a kilo of apples a day? All I’m saying is that we’re not exactly close in the traditional sense. As a result, my mum and I play a game of secrets. The rules of the game are as follows: admit to nothing, give her no information about your life, steal all the teaspoons/keys/plums and see which entertaining events follow.  I never introduce boyfriends or girlfriends willingly. If anyone has read my particular awkward and overdramatic coming out post, you will know that my family drew blood from a stone, discovered the Holy Grail and moved Everest to England before they found out my sexuality.

I have great respect for those families who share every aspect of each other’s lives. I’m sure it’s not all roses and peacocks, so I’m not particularly jealous. But, I must admit, I am curious as to what it would be like to come home and tell my mum or dad everything that had happened that day. I have a friend like that, her relationship with and inability to lie to her mother once resulted in her announcing that she had helped me choose a thong to buy whilst they were eating casserole one evening.

Anyway (I say anyway a lot in posts don’t I?), what I mean to say is that I tend not to introduce my boyfriends or girlfriends at all. After I am inevitably outed by my traitorous bitch of a sister, I’m normally teased for several months at family meals until the next scandal. Granted, any teasing is interrupted by strange debates, arguments or disgusting scientific revelations that only my mum and I enjoy discussing. Did you know that it’s harder for a guy to pee when his bladder is not completely full than it is for a girl? That was an interesting Sunday roast, there were diagrams.  However, all teasing is in good humour. My family works in a sort of Darwinian way, you grow a thick skin around the age of twelve or you spend all your time crying.

The introducing of boyfriends (a girlfriend has never been formally introduced as anything other than a friend) always feels more like offering up human sacrifice. The position of the moon, food and activities has to be chosen perfectly. The boy in question normally squirms and tries to get out of it, having heard my stories of my wolf spider mum. However, in a technique that has taken fifty years of practice, my mum then makes me look like an exaggerating idiot by being really incredibly nice. Do not be fooled. The wolf spiders dig traps, before you realise it, it is too late and both your legs are missing.

I remain, absolutely and 100% sure,
that mummy spider is waiting for my engagement party
to serve my beloved chilled monkey brains Indiana Jones Style.  

In other news, I mentioned in my coming out week post that I was going to come out to my little sister, who I thought may be joining me in the LGBTQ community. Well, I came out to her in my typically awkward fashion. She promptly ignored it and got a boyfriend. My gaydar is, as ever, sadly misguided. 

As always feel free to comment or email at homojournal@gmail.com. We'll be back next week with our Jubilee themed posts...I have a little something about the Queen's knickers planned and hopefully Todostrieb will do us a spiffy patriotic homojournal banner. 

The burden of being straight

I did not choose to be straight. Honestly. I was born this way. I never really had any doubts about it. I tried kissing girls, but it just wouldn't do it for me. For the longest time I avoided facing this reality, and it wasn't until the age of 11 or 12 that I started giving in to to the astonishing truth: I like guys.

When I told my mom she was not happy. Her daughter was suffering her own misfortune. She kept on trying to convince me I should be lesbian by saying stuff like "Girls are so much easier to deal with, guys will only break your heart, guys are all liars and only want sex". She is always complaining about guys and would rather know I'm with a girl rather than with a guy. But I can't help the way I feel!

Ok, so maybe I never had the obligation of "coming out" as straight, 'cause that is just what society expects you to be. Nevertheless, I technically did "claim it" with my mother as she would always make passing references to me having a boyfriend OR a girlfriend "because you know that would be alright too"; to which I would reply "no mother, I like guys, get over it". So even if I wasn't straight, I know I wouldn't have any problem telling my mom because she would be more than thrilled (she would honestly rather I was a lesbian). My father, on the other hand, might have been a different story. I'm not really sure what his feelings are on the matter but to be honest, I truly believe that one should never be forced to pretend to be someone else. I don't think I would've felt the need to tell anyone either; I mean, why should I "come out"? It is not my fault you assumed I was straight. If anyone asked whether I had a boyfriend I might have told them "no, I'm not interested in guys" and I may have made "hot girl" comments around my friends as I do about guys. I wouldn't hide who I am, I would make it blatantly obvious. I guess that is partly because I grew up with a mother who has always fought for human rights and taught me that we are all the same. I would spend my weekends playing with my mom's friends' kids: many of my mom's friends are gay. So I never ever thought of gayness as being wrong.

Obviously, as I am currently a homo-journalist, I have several gay/bisexual friends. One of whom is my best friend. Several had joked about him being gay, but I very much knew he liked girls while he had never expressed any interest in guys. When he finally accepted the truth and told me he was bisexual, I was not surprised, nor did I have any grand reaction. It was as if he had told me "I like chocolate". Of course this meant I asked him loads of questions on how he felt, when he figured it out, what he was going to do about it, etc. He knew that I would always be there to support him or give any advice if he ever needed it. I personally think being bisexual is amazing. It opens up a whole new world of opportunities! Many more fish available, too. Damn I wish I was bi...

As I have already said before, I don't consider myself to be 100% straight, because I don't think anyone really is. But I am sure of my sexuality. I have kissed girls, but it has never really meant anything. I don't feel what I feel when kissing a guy I like; it's just like kissing a friend. Then again, I've never really "liked" a girl. A kiss means nothing in itself, it is the feelings behind it that count. One day a friend of mine asked me "If you were interested in girls, which girl in the school would you want to go out with?" I spent a few minutes really thinking about that question, and at that moment I realised that I simply could not give her an answer. I wouldn't go out with any of them, and not only the girls in the school, but also the other ones I knew or even famous actresses. It is difficult to explain, perhaps it is like asking a vegetarian to pick between a sausage or a hamburger. I could even go as far as to have sex with a girl, but it would merely be an experience. If a girl asked me out and I said yes, it would just feel like hanging out with a friend and nothing else.

I realise this post is a little confusing (and written quite badly), but feelings are not really easy to describe and I just finished my exams, have been really distracted (if you don't know what I'm talking about refer back to "getting busy with my fetish") and am very tired, so my brain is not really working properly. You will have to forgive me. I will try to make it up to you next week!

Never hide who you are. Who really loves you will support you and if they don't then... are they really worth it?

Love,

Miu xx

P.S. Don't forget to e-mail us at homojournal@gmail.com for any questions, comments, request or if you are bored and have nothing better to do. We are available 24/7 (that is 24 minutes every 7 hours) so try your luck!

Straight Crushes, and Pictures of Prince Poppycock

This is Prince Poppycock. Sadly, not me. 

What does one mean when they say “Straight Crushes”?

     a) When you fancy someone of the opposite sex
     b) When you fancy someone that’s straight, but you’re the same gender

Shall talk about a) first.

So, you’re gay, you’re out, you’re proud, and everybody knows you’re gay. But suddenly, you find yourself liking someone of the opposite gender. Panic.

You begin to wonder: Am I really gay? And sexual confusion kicks in .

The problem with these labels and stereotypes that we put on ourselves: sometimes, you’re so so sure that you fit in a box, and then BOOM, you changed shape, and now your body doesn’t fit in that box.

There is such a thing as “HOMOFLEXIBLE”.

ah, farmy animals <3

This is for people who are gay (or lesbian, or whatever you homosexuals like to call yourselves - I like the word “gay” better), who recognise, even though they are 99.9% sure that they are gay, that there might be the odd exception to their gayness, and a special person of the opposite sex may woo them.

So no need to worry folks, maybe that person is your ‘special exception’. And even though it is cheesy, I’m going to quote Marley “Don’t worry be happy”, and also just “go with the flow”(I don’t know where this quote came from). Do what feels right, and don’t think about it too much. If it turns out you're not that gay, it doesn't matter :)

Now, shall talk about b).

"I've met this wonderful guy, but he's straight... and I'm a gay guy..." I hate it when that happens :'( 

some princes like other princes

Life isn't always like fairy tales, unlike how we were led to believe when we were young. It's not always Princes and Princesses; some princes like other princes, and some princesses want their happily-ever-afters with other princesses. However, that doesn't mean that all princes want to rescue another prince, and sweep him off his feet; and that doesn't mean that all princesses want to be rescued by another dress-clad beauty. The happy ending doesn't happen, because you met the wrong prince or princess. You're gay, and they're not. 


Don't hit me, for saying this, but it's never happened to me.. That being said, I’ve fancied many-a-people who were “confused”, some worked, some didn’t. That’s life. Even when they’re into your gender, doesn’t mean they’re into you. Knowing that they’re straight just makes acceptance of the fact that it won’t work out, easier to deal with.

Also, if you don’t go for it, you’d never know whether you have a chance or not. A mistake I make often.

Even if it is widely known that they are “straight”, they may have just said this, to go along with public expectations and normality. They might be in the closet.

Sexual Harassment Panda

That being said, it’s probably not a good idea to just jump on them, and start face-sucking them. You don't want your ass kicked, or be charged with sexual harassment. Maybe say something that can be easily brushed off if all goes badly.

Advice 1: if it’s a no, it’s a no, move on. Don’t push too hard

Advice 2: stay away from trying to woo homophobes, you'll only get hurt.

Eli x


You know the drill, feel free to email us, and comment, and give us loads and loads and loads of feedback, so we can improve and become better homojournalists :)

This is Poppycock again :)


The source of Prince Poppycock's pictures = Gay.net
Read the article/ interview, if you must.

Bleached Blonde Badassery and High IQs

So, in a twist of fate or one of the homojournalists warped sense of ironic humour, the theme for week five is straight crushes.  Being a bisexual female, I’m going to assume straight crushes are my male ones. Being an international baccalaureate student with a fetish for colour coding (see fetishes, week 3) and a love of data processing I have made a Venn diagram.

Mel's straight crushes

As you can see my straight crushes fall into 3 main categories, the good looking, the intelligent, and the distinguished older males, although many of them overlap. Well I don’t really know what else to say. I have a taste for guys with bleached hair, quick wit and badassery, so sue me.

Having said all this, in real life I tend to fall for guys I am close friends with, and the ones that are mean to me. I can’t say why that is, I suspect many girls fall into the same trap. I reckon it’s because I like to test my ego and self confidence out constantly. Life is just no fun if you get away with everything. I need a little....bite in my relationships.

Sorry for the short post folks, In the middle of exams (doomdoomdoomdoom). But as always we’re happy to hear your comments, thoughts, and suggestions. We’re still accepting guest posts (see our spiffy link is at the top of this page) and I’d like to hear confirmation that my straight crushes are normal, so write in with yours!

Lots of Love,

Mel (the hot one) x

PS. Moriarty, all male homojournalists and Captain Harkness went without saying, so weren't included in the diagram.

Survey results: Describe your ideal girlfriend, boyfriend or date.

This week, we asked 10 sixth formers at our college the question: “Describe your ideal girlfriend, boyfriend or person to date”. Here are the results of our survey:

Person no. 1 (male)

• Hot
• Genuine
• Honest
• Smart
• Not gay
• Rather funny
• Likes ice-cream
• Bit of a sket
• Has peng friends that I can get with, when I’ve had enough
• Most important = 6 o’clock

Person no. 2 (male)
I’m bi first and formost. My ideal boyfriend is someone I can really talk to, but also hunky and sexy. The same for my ideal girlfriend, but for girls, they just need to have a very low number of bitchy friends; what a girl that would be :D

Person no.3 (female)

• Makes me laugh
• Kind and nice
• Funny
• (6 packs)
• Good looking/ handsome

Person no. 4 (male)

• Tenderness
• Watching “Totoro” on the couch together <3
• Exceptionally intelligent
• Doesn’t mind being cared about unconditionally, doesn’t mind showing the same

Person no. 5 (male)
For a boyfriend:

• Shiney blond hair
• Medium sized mouth
• Wide nose (not pointy)
• Not too muscley
• Not too hairy (some allowed)
• Not into female pop-stars

For a girlfriend:

• Moderate tits (small > big)
• Small teeth (not horse-like)
• Bigger eyes
• Not overly shy
• Not too thick

Person no. 6 (male)

• Nice
• Kind
• Peng
• Can take a joke or two
• Strong-willed
• Nice face

Person no. 7 (female)
Looks are not a huge factor, but personality-wise, they need to be individual, sure of themselves, and I think an element of mystery about a person is romantic and intriguing. Overall they need to be a nice person, individual and interesting to get to know. They will always be difficult to describe, as it depends on how well we interact.

Person no. 8 (female)

• Interesting person
• Independent opinions
• Not afraid of an argument but willing to compromise
• Good sense of humour
• Athletic
• Too good looking is not a deal breaker

Person no. 9 (female)

• Funny
• Interesting
• Adventurous
• Understanding
• Laid back
• Good looking (but that is down to taste)
• Not too clingy or possessive

Person no. 10 (female)

• Funny
• Taller than me
• Not too skinny, not too fat, not a body builder
• Someone who doesn’t take themselves too seriously, and isn’t insecure
• I have to be attracted to them (personality + looks)
• Caring

Basically, it appears that most people's ideals tend to be a) someone they find attractive and b) somone they can enjoy being with and communicating with.... who would've guessed, huh?