I'm a Dog and I like socks

Firstly, may I apologise for not gracing you all with my presence last Friday; I'd been incredibly busy sorting out assignments and organising house viewings and writing music for projects I'm involved in at Uni, by the time it was Friday I hadn't actually realised that it was Friday. Does that make sense? No, probably not. Anyway, by way of apology, here are some sock-loving dogs for your entertainment.

Ah, if only all dogs were like that... mine would rather eat the sock you throw for him rather than bring it back to be thrown again...

I'm probably going to sound like a stuck record when I say my knowledge and/or experience of sex is limited (I'm very aware of how depressing that is, given I'm now in Term 2 of Uni and am 19 and still haven't gotten laid). So I feel my post is probably going to be another one of those rambly ones where I don't know what to say because I can't bust the classic gay sex myth "anal sex hurts like a bitch (or bastard, depending on your preference)" - once I discover the degree of fact in that statement, I'll be sure to let you know. So rather than ramble,  my plan was to write a list of all the sex myths that I really hoped were myths, but in a cruel and depressing twist of fate, this is where I fall down again.

I don't know any sex myths.

I really must research things more in the future.

Until next time, my dears,

I am, and always will be,

Very depressedly yours,

Rory.

PS - As you may be aware, February is LGBT history month, and to celebrate, we'd like to here from you. We're looking for some guest submissions on anything LGBT related; the topic of your post could range from coming out, to the debate on equal marriage, to the public perception and acceptance of the LGBT community. If you're interested, check out our submission guidelines, then write us an article and e-mail it to us!

Cakes give you food babies...sex gives you an actual baby

So there's been some confusion this week (more-so than usual) about which theme we're running with. It's either 'sex myths I thought were real' or 'cake'. I figured both were quite interesting so I'll just go with the flow.

Firstly, I'm in uni dorms. Catered uni dorms. There are no ovens. Thus....I BRING YOU...ZE MUG CAKES OF PEACE AND TRANQUILLITY....

Or if you are so inclined....

If you go for the chocolate use real coco powder, not hot-chocolate which has added milk and sugar, which generally, you know, fucks shit up.

Here are the recipes...

http://blogs.babble.com/family-kitchen/2011/11/18/8-easy-recipes-you-can-make-in-a-mug/

That page also has a variety of interesting mug experiments for me to try later. And to think! People laughed at me when I bought cooking ingredients from tesco, despite not having a kitchen. 

Confession time...my mug cake looked more like this...

But, it tasted fine, which is better than most of my culinary exploits. So, let us move on.

Sex myths? Are there still any around, I didn't think so. We all get taught sex ed (well almost everyone in the UK does) from a young age. I remember being traumatised by a cartoon couple tickling each other with feathers....in sex ed as a child.

Anyway, over a year ago now, I started a job with a charity called the Terrence Higgins Trust. It was actually set up by Mr Higgins to help gay men suffering from HIV...but now it's expanded to catch, treat and educate about sexual diseases in all young people across the country. Here are some of my favourite sex myths people have asked me about, or told me while I have been working.

1. You can get chlamydia from a toilet seat
2. You can get chlamydia from kissing
3. A condom protects from all sexual diseases
4. Coldsores can't cause genital herpes
5. There's a cure for HIV now

These are all false.

It wasn't uneducated people who believed these, it wasn't stupid people, it was people just like you an me, who just listened to the wrong sources of information.

Anyway children,

Be safe,

Mel

PS//

This is a cuddly chlamydia germ : D isn't he cute?

We need to talk about PDA.. or maybe not

Throughout this week, I have been pestering random people about their opinions on PDA. The most frequent answer I got was "What, them gadgety thingies?". To most, PDA = personal digital assistants...
People don't really care about public displays of affection. Or maybe, that's just an unused term in England. Once I explain to the said people, the common answer was "Why should you care about what other people think? If I want to kiss my gf/bf, I will".

Opportunistic PDA >.< 'T'is like the only times me and Rafaello are the same height......  

I'm not too keen on PDA. My slight aversion to PDA stems from the modest asian mixed with my conservative grandmother's teachings, and my bitter periods of single-ness, in which the mere sight of couples, casually PDA-ing brought out the lime-jello monster in me. I'd see couples EVERYWHERE. I used to stare daggers. That habit has stuck.

Although, currently I am happy, I don't see couples much at all.  (jesus, I'm beginning to sound like a crazy person.. "I see PDA...... all the time") . The only couples that have come to my attention are those that go over-the-top, and are in the way.

Last week, on the tube, this something like this happened... and they blocked the door I was supposed to leave through :'(

So, YAY for PDA, but keep it PG, don't go over the top and make people awkward. As for lgbt PDA, I don't mind it. I like lgbt PDA, I find it cute, and it's spreading awareness. Why should you be ashamed, just because you're lgbt? (gee, perhaps I'm a hypocrite?). When me and Mel dated, I suppose we must have made some people awkward e.g. our deputy-head of sixth form college... urk. I never had any bad experiences with LGBT PDA, however, there are still communities out there, who react negatively to shows of homosexuality. If you do feel like PDA is putting you in any kind of danger, it's probably best to keep it private. Holding hands is not worth getting beat up over... or is it? 

In April 2011, there was a protest at a pub in Soho that kicked out a gay couple for "obscene kissing"...

read guardian article

Damn, I think I rambled again. 
Hopefully, I made some sense.. somewhere. 
Till next time,

Eli

PDA's, yay, nay or different for gay?

Alas, I did not come up with that title myself. ('Alas' was one of the words I used to help me remember the amino acid 'Alanine, Ala' on my last exam, you can probably guess the reasons for the post muddle up).

PDA's? Never! How dare you show that much wrist in public...DEAR GOD, is that an ankle I see? *Swoon*

One is not amused

My real opinion on PDA's? Go for it, do what you like, when you like where you like. If there are children around keep it PG, but realistically even 3 year olds have seen Megara and Hercules snog, so, decency is a little different to what it once was.

If you're gay, black white, or a rainbow stripe flying fish, same applies.

Of course, it's your choice, people have different levels of comfort with the touchy feely stuff, especially in public. I mean sure, if this world was Mel land it would be a den of decadence and nerdiness in nearly equal measures (also pizza). But, sadly I am yet to come into my magical inheritances, despite being of age. Moral of the story, until I am your unquestioned leader (best put it in your diary for next thursday) then do as you please kind sirs.

Now, onto Mel's real topic of the week, her next exam. Excitable tissues, sadly a lot less exciting as the name promises. If only the dreary drudgery of multiple choice questions would be broken by affection of any kind. Alas (my new word of the day) I am left with the emotionless voice of Dr H and my hundreds of flash cards.

Lots of Love Mel

PS//

Pain fibres:

'C'  Carry Crude touch
'A' pain Arises Abruptly and is blocked by Asphyxiation

Enjoy those pain fibres you hardcore rebel, you...

Thank god I don't get hangovers.

The thing I like about weeks like this is that it gives me a perfect excuse to go to the pub and spend an insane amount of my student loan getting rat arsed and singing Do You Hear the People Sing and other out-of-tune selections from Les Misérables and various other west end and broadway (and some not) shows. It's much fun, and I definitely did not spend most of last night doing exactly that and drooling over pictures of Eddie Redmayne...

"Do you hear the church bells ring?"

Where was I?

Oh yeah, I have to write stuff about people and Homo-Journalists. This seems like an excellent plan and there is absolutely nothing at all that can possibly go wrong.

I promise.

1. Describe each of the Homo-Journalists in a few sentences.
Oh christ...

2. Say which LGBT issue you feel most strongly about and why.
Well, equal marriage has to be right up there... personally I prefer the term 'marriage' or 'human rights', but if calling it the fight for equal marriage means my wedding to Eddie Redmayne and Ben Whishaw is legal, then I'm willing to compromise.

Wait, I'm not allowed a polygamous marriage? Fucking hell, government, stop trying to tell me what to do.

3. Would you rather have a horse the size of a rabbit, or a rabbit the size of a horse? Explain your reasoning in no less than 200 words
I had a decent answer to this when I was sober... pretty sure it'll come back to me, gimme time. For now I'm just gonna say horse the size of a rabbit, cos it'd be kinda cute, I guess.

4. Summarise the entire LGBT world history in no more than 200 words.
Erm... God made Adam and Steve, the world was somehow populated with morons who persecuted and did horrible unspeakables to the descendants of Adam and Steve, then some people started rioting because they didn't like it and ever since then we've all gone to this thing called 'Pride' and dress in rainbows and drag and have lots of alcohol and sex. Jelly babies and Vodka?

5. Embarrassing confession?
I don't think I've got any clean pants for tomorrow :(

6. Weirdest dream?
I had a really weird dream once after having eaten some cheese which my friends gave me for christmas... I'd been taken captive by some woman and put through a series of gruelling and life threatening tests. I survived, then I had to watch someone else do it and they went up the wrong staircase and 'died'... apparently going up that staircase is what forced the woman to become a transvestite and that it twisted her mind so much that she wanted the world to exist only of people who could pass this test and if they failed they'd get converted like she was... It was horrible, I'd rather not think about it.

Come to think of it, I think we'd had a Rocky Horror Picture Show night the day before and I saw far too many of my guy friends in drag and corsets, that might have something to do with it....

7. Would you rather kill someone you love to end a war in a foreign country, or kill someone you hate and thereby start one?
Who thought up this question?! It's utterly morbid, I'd clearly do both.

8. Happiest moment you can think of? (this was actually supposed to be number 7, but I forgot about it so it can go here instead where the question before thiss should have gone... oh god why am I this drunk?)
I got an A+ on my first uni essay the other day... guess I was pretty chuffed at that.

9. Assign a Pokemon to each Homo-Journalist and jsutify it.
The only ones I know are Pickachu and Squirtle. So I'll let my esteemed colleagues argue over who can be who.

Pickachu and Squirtle are both Pokemon, right?

10. (HOW MANY MORE OF THESE DO I HAVE TO DO?! I NEED SLEEP!!!!!!!) If you could go back and change something about your life, what waould it be?
I dunno, maybe I'd have done more piano and bassoon practice? Started the bassoon earlier? Probably something like that. These questions are far too deep and philosophoical for me to be answering at this level of intoxiacation.

11. If you were stuck on a desert island with a book and a person and film, which would you take?
Can I choose the island I'm stranded on too? Pretty sure there's one somewhere that's full of hot guys, I'll go there please. And I'll take Ben Whishaw or Eddie Redmayne with me (can I take them both and sacrifice the film or book?). I have lost all memory of books I've read besides the Harry Potter series, so I'll take one of those at random, and for the film, I'll take my netflix subsription. Lots of films there.

12. Who, other than your significant other, would we have to give to you for sexy-times in order for you to give us all your moneys?
As he mentioned on that day that starts the week off that he psots on, James knows the true answer to this question, but I'll just say Ben Whishaw or Eddie Redmayne. omnomnomnom.

13. Since I don't have to answer this questiona nd everybody else does, who would you rather 'have'/'do'/etc - Justin Bieber or One Direction?
Not gonna lie, however I answer this will make me sound like a peedo (I can't spell it right now, soz), so let's just go for one direction becuase there's more of them.

Who was the 'I' in teh question? I have a feeling it was me, actually... :/ oh well.

14. Biggest regret/worst thing you've done while drunk?
Apparently I harassed my friend's girlfriend about her fringe once, without knowing what the word for fringe was... I have no recollection of this incident and neither does my friend's girlfriend, so I'm just assuming that it never happened at the world is a massive lie.

(I'm not actually sure if my friend and her girlfriend are even girlfriend and girlfriend, or ever have been, if either of you are reading this, I'm sorry :/ )

Yours drunkenly and inocherenetly,
Rory

PS - I didn't get progressively more drunk here as my poor spelling and typing might suggest (if anything I'm more sober now that I was when I started, but not by much), I just gave up caring about that inconvenience we call grammar.

PPS - we should do more of htese, they're strangely fun. Next time, I'll write mine in the pub, not afterwards in my room at some unearhtly hour of the morning.

PPPS - Can you have this many 'post's in a post script?

PPPPS - As a disclaimer, I'd like to point out that the oipininos and views and stuff in this post shouldn't be taken seriously as most of it is actually the alcohol talking. (I'm actually a really nice person.)

PPPPPS - someone stop me now.

DrUnk PoST wEEk

Describe each of the homojournal writers in a few sentences. 

Eli (me) - The short one. Brown Hair, dark eyes. Bah.

Rory - He the brilliant, organised daddy of the group 

James - He's a fragile looking thing, but he bites.. 

Todostrieb - She's my mutti, ever-changing hair, stands on her tiptoes, has boobs. 

Miu - big eyes, has a self-proclaimed nice arse, she's like a beautiful china doll, but she's evvvilll :D

Mel - doctor mel, blond but not in the stereo-typical way, short

Becky - I don't know. She's purdy in the pics (via facebook stalking), but think perhaps we need to have a welcome-becky picnic :D

Say which LGBT issue you feel most strongly about and why

I don't like the fact that it's still considered abnormal, and people aren't so out and open about it. Why? - because I'm not comfortable being out out to my family... 


Would you rather have a horse the size of a rabbit, or a rabbit the size of a horse- explain your reasoning in no less than 200 words.

A giant rabbit. The rabbit the size of a horse would be awesome. You could ride it. It's be like a cute hippo thingy, until it bites your face off.... 

Think about it: having a horse the size of rabbit would be cute in a barbie-horse-y way.. .think of it's ikkle hoooooves!! But you can't ride it. Rideable rabbit wins. 


Summarise the entire world LGBT history in no more than 200 words (ie what you think everyone... absolutely everyone should be told)

God created adam and eve... then there was Steve... Socrates and the ancient greeks had something with their younger boys... (apparently) Tribes in Papa New Guinea have (had) a ritual were young men are to give BJs to their village elders, to drink in their "wisdom"... Also, in the west, homosexuality was illegal (jail and doom-gloom), stuff happened, then it was legalised, then aids..And now we have GAY-PRIDE... and some countries allow gay-marriage..... but still there are countries where it's illegal (think death-penalty) due to religious pushes.. :'(

Oh, and there is an island off of greece full of lesbians... Although that's nothing compared to the yearly DIANA-SHORE gathering... :D

Embarrassing confession
When I was younger I poured water onto someone's mattress to make it seem like they wet the bed... I ended up getting caught, and mutti made me sit there with a hair-dryer for two hours.. :')


Your weirdest dream

I don't have weird dreams... well, maybe the ver vivid rape dream was weird... or the dream where I was sowing together eggs, bunnies and clouds....because they were made of the same substance >.<


Happiest moment you can think of (first thing that pops in your mind, no cheating! But fairly serious, don't you dare say stuff "eating a chocolate bar")

CHEESE BURGERS... 

Would you rather kill someone you love to end a war in a foreign country, or kill someone you hate and thereby start one?

I don't like this question... I'd choose "kill someone you hate.. blah blah", but I don't think you should kill someone for any other means other to kill them. It's silly otherwise.. why do we have to have ulterior motives?

If you could go back and change something about your life what would it be?
I wouldn't change anything.. I like how things have turned out... WHAT IF I COME BACK TO TH PRESENT AND WE HAVE FLYING COWS??? 
oh Goddy, imagine milking it... 

If you were stuck on a deserted island which one book, movie and person would you want to take along?

I'd probably take Catch-22, I haven't read it yet.. I was going to say The Bible or The Koran, but I'd probs regret that... I've never managed to get past the first couple of pages.. plus, I'd feel guilty if I had to burn it for fire-wood. 

Movie. Why would you take a movie? which desert island has cinema system? *sighs* 

I'd take Inception. It's hard to understand, and there's Ellen Page in it :D 

Person?  My bestfriend-turned-boyfriend :D

Who, other than your significant other, would we have to give you for sexy-times to get you to give us all your money?

urmmmmmmm.... Ellen Page....

Since I don't have to answer this question and everybody else does, who would you rather 'have'/'do'/etc - Justin Bieber or One Direction?

As tempting as JB is, with all of his lesbian-ish features, he seems a bit jerky. One Direction, as theres more of them >.< tho, Just Harry will do... noms :D 

Biggest regret/worst thing you've done whilst drunk

Heres's a transcript of the James-eli drunkenness recording:

eli: no.1; yourself

James: it hasn't started yet

eli: it has

James: BOO.. it has.. me…. well, evidently I don't trust technology…. *laughs* I genuinely think I am better than the other homojournalists, I'm wrong. *laughs*

James: I like alcohol, I genuinely end up in the worst relationships known to man.. yea… thats a good decision eli, more vodka!

eli: yea, more vodka rasberries?

James: I think your phone has switched itself off… 

eli: it hasn't, it's still recording

James: dammit

eli: Rory?

James:Rory… I *sighs* didn't really *sighs* - why are you offering me alcohol that still has the stalk on it? 

eli: *laughs* yea

James: - totally healthy - it has green on it - 

eli: - it's one of our 5-a-days'

James: *laughs*

eli: Rory?

James: I barely knew rory in lower sixth

eli: mmhmm

James: -and then in lower sixth all of a sudden homojournal happened.. then.. Whhhatttt? -He's brilliant. He needs to be less up-himself.. . but still.. 

eli: he's brilliant

James: he IS brilliant

eli: he's the… *laughs* I was going to say "he's the daddy".. 

James: *laughing* He's the daddy-o… Yea, he's kinda the Dad of Homojournal.. not THE leader, which we don't have a leader, because we're.. a group… but.. he's good… 

........

This was too much like homework :")
eli x

I swear to drunk officer I'm not God.

********Disclaimer...I was not actually drunk when writing this, though it may seem the case. I was just high on caffeine, exam stress and jelly legs from the gym. Also I'm insane. *********

Describe each of the homojournal writers in a few sentences.
James- Small, fluffy.
Todostrieb- Middle sized, probably sleeping.
Eli- Smallest, also has tiny hands.
Rory- Taller, musically talented.
Miu- Middle sized, has nice hair.
Becky- Tall, has nice eyes.

Say which lbgt issue you feel most strongly about and why.
Probably marriage. Selfishly, because it’s the one most likely to affect me...why shouldn't I be allowed to marry a girl in church?

Would you rather have a horse the size of a rabbit, or a rabbit the size of a horse- explain your reasoning in no less than 200 words.
I would like a rabbit the size of a horse, because he would love me and be a good body guard. Also, it’d be cute. I would like a rabbit the size of a horse, because he would love me and be a good body guard. Also, it’d be cute. I would like a rabbit the size of a horse, because he would love me and be a good body guard. Also, it’d be cute. I would like a rabbit the size of a horse, because he would love me and be a good body guard. Also, it’d be cute....etc

Summarize the entire world LGBT history in no more than 200 words (ie what you think everyone... absolutely everyone should be told).
The LGBT community is the same as any other...because sexuality doesn’t change who you are. Some of us are weird. Some straight people are too. Penis in bumholes is not disgusting, grow up.

Embarrassing confession.
I actually quite like JB.

What is love/ what does love mean to you?
“Love means never having to say you’re sorry.”

Where homosexuality arises from (what makes someone gay).
There’s increasing research to suggest that our sexuality is determined at birth. For example the majority of identical twins share sexuality. (According to my BHS lecture notes). For years we couldn’t explain finger prints, why should sexuality have a great mystery behind it? We’ll know soon enough, so speculation is a waste of time.

Happiest moment you can think of, first thing that pops in your mind, no cheating! But fairly serious, don't you dare say stuff "eating a chocolate bar".
Finishing my first exam this morning...this is the most recent, hence why I thought of it first. But, if you want a good one, holding my baby sister for the first time.

Would you rather kill someone you love to end a war in a foreign country, or kill someone you hate and thereby start one?
I don’t think I could ever kill someone...every possible decision they could have made is just wiped out. Death is like the ultimate restriction of free will.

Assign a Pokemon to each Homojournalist, and justify it.
Almost all my pokemon knowledge is from the first movies and series. So, I’m going to assign Ash’s charizard to be a general homojournal mascot. When he gets his head stuck in the pipe...he pretty much represents all of our awkwardness in one scene. Also, I love him.

If you could go back and change something about your life what would it be?
I WOULD HAVE REVISED MORE FOR THESE JANUARY EXAMS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! STUPID MEL.

If you were stuck on a deserted island which one book, movie and person would you want to take along?
Book, time travellers wife. Movie, V for vendetta (though this seems pointless without a DVD player or indeed, electricity). Person, one of those survival guides on TV who enjoy living on desert islands.

Who, other than your significant other, would we have to give you for sexy-times to get you to give us all your money?
An unlimited supply of anyone I wanted, whenever and however I wanted.

Who would you rather 'have'/'do'/etc - Justin Bieber or One Direction?
Depends on if I had to do all of 1D at the same time really...

Much Love,
Mel xxx

Journalists: stop ruining my fantasies

 "LGBTQS celebs, is it really our business?"

Yeash, for the most part, we think it's our business. Celebs are on our tele, in out movies, or newspapers... and on our bedroom walls, some of us spend more time looking at their gorious (?) faces than we spend time with our own mothers. But it is one sided, and reading their gossip makes us feel like we are involved in their lives, that we're getting to know them....

But as much as I like the gossip, I am against it for a number of reasons.. Firstly, the effects it has to the celeb's lives...

"Ellen Page has been forced to turn to the LAPD for help after two Twitter users began threatening to KILL her over the social networking site…and once, even by phone" 

and Secondly,  it kinda ruins it for me to know..


Take for example Justin Bieber.. (urgh, I knows, but it was the only person I could think of at short notice). Apon looking at his picture, one may think "Noms, a baby-dyke"..

Then you find out....

N'aw, a cute lesbian couple.. 

And then..

Wait.. What... He' male?

*sighs* Fantasies ruined. 

byes for now, 

eli x

ps: I think JB and selena have broken up.. not sure.. not that it matters... *shift eyes* 

.......................

Ellen Page story source

Back off bitches, he's mine.

As I sit here, on the wrong day, writing this at short notice with a totally empty stomach and fridge, no effort to go and cook something or do the thirty second walk to the on-campus shop that doesn't sell Terry's Chocolate Oranges (shock horror) and listening to Gershwin's Rhapsody in Blue in preparation for my assignment due next week, I wonder what it is I can say about LGBT celebrities that James and Mel haven't yet covered.

With the deadline to post this on time looming, all I can think of is that I don't really give a damn which celeb bats for which team. I admire their courage - being in the public eye must be difficult enough without having the press throw your private life about the world like a cat with a dead mouse. I don't particularly understand why some celeb coming out on TV or in an interview should be news though; while a lot of straight women would clearly cry their eyes out and a lot of gay men would breath a sigh of joy if someone like Ben Whishaw did come out as gay (even if he isn't, he's still mine, so back off the lot of you, he's all mine. I will hurt kittens), I stand by my opinion of having to come out: it's not news, regardless of who and what you are professionally or how famous you are.

Having said all this, the other half of my brain spends a fair amount of time fantasising about which famous fella I'd get with when I'm a famous film composer... these are just a few examples:

Ben Whishaw (actual sexuality totally irrelevant)

Fucking marry me already.

Russell Tovey (He grew up in the town next to the one I did, I have more right to him than any of you)

I can live with the ears.

Joseph Gordon-Levitt (again, sexuality irrelevant)

Seriously, get in my bed.

James McAvoy (Anything for a scot.)

I don't care about the fact he's married with kids. 

I could continue this list, but I'm hungry and do technically have some work to do... so excuse me while I go and stalk my famous fellas eat food and do my work.

PS - I like to think that the reason Todostrieb didn't post yesterday is because she's too busy stalking her favourite LGBT celeb... Who knows, there's a chance this might actually be the case, so stop telling me otherwise! Eli claims she's ill, I'd like to believe this, in reality we all know she's having hot passionate sex with Prince Poppycock. 'Normal' service should hopefully resume next week.

Mr Potter, Our New Celebrity

Tell me what would I get if I added powdered root of asphodel to an infusion of wormwood?

If you know the answer to that off the top of you head, stop reading now, turn off your computer and get a life. Here's a short clip for you, because there is absolutely nothing that is not sexy about Pf. Snape / Alan Rickman.

Anyway, our topic of the week is gay celebrities. In a strange twist of fate none of the actors in the Harry Potter films are openly gay (none that showed up in a google search anyway). Is this because of discrimination in the acting world? Maybe. Is this because actors are the best at hiding their sexuality with their mysterious wiles and ability to lie with their entire bodies? Maybe. Is it because roughly 10 % of the population are gay and there's only about 20 actors the average person can name in the film series? Most likely. I'd bet my money on some of the smaller roles being filled by our fellow LGBTs.

I did uncover some interesting rumours about Daniel Radcliffe's sexuality though. I always knew Harry and Draco were destined to be together. If only the slash pairings that existed online also existed in real life.

This brings me onto my main point.

Ben Whishaw is of course, the main point of life.

There’s a lively and ongoing internet debate about whether Whishaw is gay. The general supposition is that he is – based mainly on the fact that he gave an interview to the gay magazine Out not long ago. Whishaw, himself, though, isn’t saying anything.-The Telegraph

I don't see how I can be frustrated about his lack of public speeches regarding his sexuality (as I've managed to convince half the people I know I'm gay, a quarter that I'm straight, and a quarter that I'm bisexual) but somehow I am.

In his interview with OUT magazine (homojournalists may enjoy the website, which has interviews and ideas for venturing out of the house etc) he speaks about the importance of gay role models for young people. He goes on to speak about sexuality being a transitional thing, that he felt he was in the middle of at the moment. I promptly felt guilty for pushing him to chose a team...even though I have never contacted him in any way. Standing outside his house admiring his new curtains doesn't count as contact does it?

Anyway it occurred to me that all the stress we feel when coming out, is magnified hundreds of times if your famous. There's increased pressure to be a role model (so no stumbling drunk out of G-A-Y in the early hours of Saturday morning), and you don't just have to deal with the reactions of those close to you but also those on the other side of the world. Maybe actors as a breed are also more into self exploration etc? If you spend all day pretending to be somebody else, perhaps it takes a little longer to work out who you really are.

So in conclusion I will with great reluctance leave Ben Whishaw to his own devices. (OK I'll admit to the occasional google). But, if he and Daniel Craig were to get married, I would die of happiness. They may in addition to being one of my OTPs as Bond/Q also have made it to my list of real life OTPs as Whishaw/Craig.

I just want to eat him? Is that so wrong?

Lots of Love Mel

Ps// No post script today

Maybe I was hypnotised.

Greetings, Constant Reader! Another week, another topic, and this week brings us the exciting "LGBTQ Celebrities - Is It Anyone Else's Business?".

Now, when I first heard this, I had two immediate thoughts. I could write about someone we know is LGBTQ:

Such as this guy we almost never mention.

Or someone I really want LGBTQ:

Also a relatively unknown guy here on Homojournal.

But no, I shall be unexpected. I won't write about teenage hunks, I shall, for once, target a man of a different kind.

Why, hello there.

That beautiful man there is Derren Brown, and he has long been an inspiration to me. As an illusionist, he gets to paddle around in the more eldritch swamps of most peoples' minds, and his large-scale experiments (often on TV) are some of the most interesting things that have ever been on. I love Psychology, so I love him. According to 16 year old me he didn't even have a sexuality; It'd be like asking about Pikachu's sexuality - sure, some weirdos will be interested, but the majority of us sane folk won't.

Well, turns out those weirdos were onto something. 

But not with this. This didn't need thinking about.

As stated here, Derren Brown IS gay. When I first discovered this (admittedly about 4 years after he came out), I was already writing for Homojournal, and so his sexuality hadn't had any effect on me: his mentalism made me interested in the human mind, but I was always going to be who I am sexually, regardless of who shared his bed with him. And that, I feel, is the main point of this (admittedly brief) post: if they don't want to share it openly, and they're already people who impress and inspire, then why should celebrities have to tell us if they don't identify as straight?

All I'd like is to know if it improves my chances of sleeping with them.

Yours truly,

James

Although seriously, Tom Daley and Ezra Miller are hot enough to melt diamond. Any chance of a foursome? Threesomes generally go badly, but maybe a foursome would work. Plus, imagine what Derren could make the others do...

I really wanna take my cats for a walk now....

And here we are. Again. A topic I have no experience in. I wanted 'most awkward situation being LGBT has put you in', I have plenty of those which I can talk about. Most of them include my family. In fact most awkward situations I've been in involve a family member of sorts. Like that time when we went to New York and my mum told the lady at the currency exchange that she wasn't a Virgin, but that we were flying with them...

Even though we're now two months on from 'Find Rory a Boyfriend Week', Colin Morgan still hasn't declared his undying love for me, which just goes to show that you should never let your friends find your boyfriend for you, because they'll be crap at it (although, James sneakily ended his post that week with a suggestion I am not going to refuse. Ever). As such, I thought that rather than give you all really unhelpful hints which are more likely to lose you your potential boyfriend/girlfriend than gain you one, I took it upon myself to do some research (read 'Google'): below are some links with tips which look like they might actually work. I have already memorised one or two of them and plan on using them at Uni, for which I leave.... tomorrow. I really should begin to pack.

So, we have:

• Cosmopolitan's 20 Fun, Fearless Ideas to Help You Meet A Man; although it's aimed at the straight females of the world, I'm sure with a bit of jiggery-pokery (technical term), you can adapt it to suit your needs perfectly. (Incidentally, there are one or two rather handsome men here, worth checking out even if you've already met the man of your dreams.)
• eHow's aptly named How to Meet a Nice Guy; avoid number 3 at all costs, and number 5 should only be considered if you're really, really desperate. Otherwise, go for it.
• Get-the-Guy's Top 10 Places to meet guys in London; as long as you're not arrested for loitering, this could be a good way forward too. Although, after having read number 8, I desperately want to try and take my cat for a walk through Hyde Park...

I wouldn't get very far.

Maybe we can come back to this theme in a couple of months time when I've got a boyfriend, I can share my wisdom better then.

Top Tips for meeting guys and girls..

This week's topic is.. again, harder than I thought it would be.. It's not as tho I am sitting here surrounded by my harem of hundreds of girls. I am alone.

You'd probably get better advice asking this guy.

Advice no.1: Check around you
If you're at school, college, uni, or work, there might be someone around you who has possibilities.. Maybe there's a gay-straight alliance or a lgbt society?

If there isn't (have you really looked hard enough?) the only two tips I could think of at the moment was:

Advice no.2: Get yourself out there

Join a club, a community, anything that will get you meeting new people, and increase your possibilities. It'll be great, because the people you meet will have the same sorts of interests as you... unless you join a club that you're not interested in... Also: you won't magically meet new girls/guys if you lay in bed all day wondering why you haven't met anyone yet. 

If all else fails, try online!

There are hundreds of online dating websites, for example: Gaydar, Gaydar Girls, Pink sofa... In which you can write up a personal profile, and browse other people's profiles to see if you find anyone you like (see websites for more details on how they work). There are also social network websites, such as: Facebook, Tumblr, Gaiaonline, youtube, in which you can get talking to people casually and get to know them... and maybe have it lead to more :D 

For the most part, if you want to meet people, you have to be somewhat active. If you don't want to be active, you shouldn't be moping about not meeting people. *rants*

anyhoo, hopefully I can be more helpful next week,

eli x

ps, no matter what, whether it be sex, buying popcorn, or talking to people online, always remember to be safe :D

So, what’s a girl like you doing in a place like this?

Ahahahahahaha my commentary on finding guys and girls to date....ahahahahahaha what poor depraved creatures would want my techniques in dating?

Pretty much how I look and act in real life.

Firstly the guys. Previously I thought the only flirting I did was to act awkwardly until people took pity on me. It has only recently come to my attention that playing with people’s hair and holding hands counts as flirting. Suddenly, lots of things make sense. According to my mum, letting guys pay for my drinks also counts as flirting. Oh dear. Perhaps you would like some anecdotes about my recent dating history with guys.

And my mum calls herself a feminist.... seriously though when did a drink equate to sex....

A guy we shall call S kept asking me out for drinks/dinner/sexual acts...and as he knew I had a girlfriend at the time, and I had only just met him, I assumed he was joking. My put downs got gradually more cutting as he kept asking, and I thought it was a running joke amongst the guys at work. Then one night, he invited me out to dinner, in response I insulted his jogging bottoms. 30 seconds later I got a text from one of the other guys at work who’d been witness to this, saying ‘he’s serious you know’....turns out I’d actually been crushing this guy without realising. Needless to say I stopped feeling guilty for this when I fell asleep on him one night and he bit my boob. Yes readers, he bit my boob....through my clothes, with no provocation.

Another guy we shall call L kept asking to meet up, I thought he meant all the work guys so I went along with it....turns out I’ve now accidently asked him on a date.....I asked him to invite everyone else and he got really crushed. Awkward.

Anyway, so I guess my advice to girls wanting to meet guys is play with their hair and hold their hands....also work in security doing night shifts it’s all pervy guys....I guess you could also just go to a bar on your own and look sad and pretty until someone comes up to you. Alternatively, man the fuck up and ask someone out, or buy a guy a drink.

My advice to you if you are a guy, looking for a guy derives from some very strange chats with 2 gay guys I worked nights with, and admittedly we do talk some shit 12 hours into a 15 hour shift, so forgive me. It seemed that all their cuddle buddies and boyfriends have either been met through mutual friends or through strange dating sites and mobile apps....worth a Google I guess. LGBT socs at universities are also an obvious meeting place for our brethren.

So you might be thinking...you clearly fail at reading the signs with guys, maybe you’re better with girls? No. No, is the sad answer to that. Sometimes I’m surprised I get through life without being hit by buses....yet along meet new girls. My main problem is working out if they’re gay.

Now, a golden rule. All girls will be gay if they are drunk. This doesn’t make them actually gay, and makes the morning after a lot more awkward. Another rule...some girls think it might be cool, or fancy experimenting a bit....the only gay in college types. And, another some girls are actually gay and just shy, or still in the closet.  Finally, some gay girls are just out. Oh also, some bisexual girls have histories with guys that make them look straight. You can see that meeting gay girls is a minefield....

So en sommaire. I’m just going to cry alone in my room and hope that my puesdo date with L isn’t too embarrassing....after one of the most awkward conversations of my life we are no going as ‘mates’ whatever the hell that means. Oh god.

Yours socially awkwardly,

Mel.....queen of awkward accidental flirting

Please ignore anything you know about goldfish anatomy for this next paragraph...

PS...new favourite pick up line I heard today à

There are three goldfish living in a bowl together, two guys and a girl. The girl has some existential anxiety going on. She really wants to get out of the bowl, which has become like a prison to her. One of the guys tells her he knows a way out. But he says he’ll only tell her if she sleeps with him. She doesn’t think she has anything to lose, so they have a night of fun, and when she wakes up the next morning the guy fish is gone. She’s baffled and asks the other male. He says he knows where the first guy went, but will only tell her if she sleeps with him. They have a night of fun and yet again when the girl wakes up alone....so where did the male fish go? I know the answer, but i’ll only tell you if you sleep with me babes : D

Suicide is never the answer.

I was in the UK earlier this week; I spent a hell of a lot of this time on the public transport system in and around London, and unfortunately for me, and every other commuter going into Liverpool Street on Tuesday morning, this public transport system ground to a halt once again because somebody had been hit by a train. In the middle of the morning rush hour.

Tragic and sad though it is that anybody should ever feel driven to feel suicidal (and if you are, please go and seek some sort of professional help), I unfortunately have very little sympathy for people who think that the best 'way out' is being run over by the world's biggest bullet (more on the 'way out' in a moment). I have even less sympathy for those people who actually go through with it, and are prepared to a) traumatise the driver live for the rest of his or her life with the knowledge that he or she was driving the train which killed you and there was nothing he or she could have done apart from apply the emergency brake, by which time it's too late anyway, b) cause so much unnecessary disruption to people you've never even met, c) leave behind so much suffering for your friends and family (everybody has friends and family who care a great deal about you, some people just have funny ways of showing it), d) let the people on the platform who saw you jump live with that image for the rest of their lives and last but not least e) made such a terrible mess on our already filthy and disgusting train lines. Forgive me for being blunt, and perhaps a little insensitive, but I fail to understand how anybody, suicidal or not, can justify ruining other people's lives just because they've had enough of their own.

There are unfortunately many people who feel that the only light at the end of the tunnel is that of the on-coming train - and that suicide really is the best option. This is often, as I'm sure one of my esteemed colleagues will have pointed out by now, a result of either a mental illness or of bullying. Quite often, I imagine that both are connected in some way. In both cases, approaching somebody and asking for help is always the best way forward - although none of us are trained counsellors, if you find yourself in this situation, send us an e-mail and we'd be more than happy to point you towards some friendly, understanding people who are more than willing to help you.

With regard to 'the way out' - there isn't one. You can't just decide that because you're stressed, or because nobody likes you, or because you feel isolated killing yourself will be OK, because it won't. Granted, you won't be stressed, but think about how distressed those around you will be... and when you're six feet deep, you'll be more isolated then than you ever will be alive.

Let me say this again, in plain words that everybody can understand:

• SUICIDE
• IS
• NEVER
• AN 
• OPTION.

I don't think I can make it clearer than that. There are people who care about you, there always will be. Perhaps you haven't met them yet. But by taking your own life prematurely, you will never, ever meet that person who cares. Take it from these people, they've been to dark places nobody ever needs to go to, and have lived to tell the tale - and a happy life.

I know I've linked to this song before, but it's brilliant, and well worth a listen. Twice.

I apologise if I've been uncharacteristically blunt and/or insensitive this week, I suppose I don't really approve of suicide in any form, and when I have opinions like this I find it unusually hard to express them both verbally and written...ly. I also realise that I seem to have chosen the rather more extreme example of throwing yourself in front of a train as the focus for most of this post; thankfully it doesn't happen all too often.

Hopefully next week's topic will be more cheerful, but we wouldn't be doing our duties properly if we didn't have some serious topics once in a blue moon.

It really does get better

Here at homojournal we like a laugh. We muck around, drink more vodka than seems healthy and make the mistakes that lots of other teenagers do. But, we have a serious side. We care about the world and our readers. So, without further ado I begin this week’s more serious topic of suicide. In honour of the suicide prevention week happening right now.

Contrary to popular belief the Golden Gate Bridge is the second most popular suicide destination of all time. Most of us cannot imagine standing 67 metres above the water and then jumping. Hell, most of us wouldn’t jump ten. They say it’s like the 200 people who tried jumping to safety from the twin towers. The people watching couldn’t believe what they were seeing, that these people thought jumping from that height might be the better way out. But, we couldn’t feel the fire on their heels, we can’t possible understand what they were thinking in their last moments. Suicide is like that. Until you are the one standing at the edge with the flames at your back, you can only understand it in the abstract way we understand all mental health.

No-one is safe from suicide. Eminem, Diana of Wales and Halley Berry all attempted (unsuccessfully) to take their own lives. If the worlds brightest and best can feel that way, it’s no surprise that some teens in our situations feel like it’s a viable option. All minorities are statistically more prone to bullying, depression and feelings of isolation. LGBT’s are no exception to this rule. An alarming number of young people from our community committed suicide last year. And, this is something that needs to stop.

So, here’s a little advice for our readers-

Fuck them all.

Anyone who has ever looked down on you, bullied you, or broken your heart will live to regret the day they did.

Live your life. Live it so well that everyone will look to you. Change lives for the better. Be the change that should have come a long time ago.

There are many projects that can give advice and information regarding LGBT teen suicides. For example the make it stop campaign, if you want help or are interested.

There are numbers you can call if you want a chat (google my friends). Or, of course give Homojournalists an email, or a homojournalist of your choice.

Here’s a little song by Rise Against for the ‘it gets better’ project. Which I love in it’s own right, and because of the message behind it.

Remember lovers, it does get better

Mel

Let's get one thing straight.

I'm not. I never have been. And I never will be*.

Science is beginning to suggest that sexual orientation, or sexuality, or sexual preference, or whatever the hell you want to call it, is at least partly genetic. In other words, it's something you're born with, not something you develop, or catch, or decide upon. It certainly isn't the work of the devil, or of God, and anybody who tries to suggest otherwise needs their head examining pronto. In case you hadn't yet realised what I'm on about, weather you like cock, tits, both or neither, it's all completely natural.

Which is why things like this piss me off big time.

I understand that people who are coming to terms with their sexuality can find it a very daunting process, and may initially be 'weirded out' by the prospect of having sex with someone of the same gender (although, if that's the case, then you're probably not gay anyway), and certainly are cautious as to your family's reaction. And I can definitely understand why you would consider trying to become straight to please your family - when I was coming out, I remember trying to picture a life in which I had a wife and later kids. In each scenario I thought of, there was a different wife, and in each and every scenario, it all ended unhappily because I preferred cock over tits.

This doesn't mean that I dreamt of every single possible scenario; far from it - I don't believe that I am 100% gay, in the same way that Miu claims she's not 100% straight. I don't know if there's a girl out there who might actually succeed in making me question my homosexuality - if such a girl exists, she probably wouldn't succeed in making me believe I'm straight, because I just don't think anybody is completely straight. I think I'm going off topic here.

If someone thinks they're gay and they don't want to be, then it is for them and only them to find this out. Therapists and anti-gay organisations and religious groups and homophobes have no right to meddle with someone's personal life, and I don't care if they claim they're doing it to 'help', because quite often it doesn't help and only serves to confuse people more. I mentioned in my coming out post that I saw a counsellor when I was coming out; she did not try to indoctrinate me into being one or the other, she did not force me to believe anything, and she certainly did not approach me claiming she had all the answers. I spoke to her, and she listened, and she was a great help, and I'm waffling.

I don't even know what I've said any more, I've written whole paragraphs and deleted them before they were finished because it was a load of bullshit. Maybe next week will see me be a little more coherent.