I swear to drunk officer I'm not God.

********Disclaimer...I was not actually drunk when writing this, though it may seem the case. I was just high on caffeine, exam stress and jelly legs from the gym. Also I'm insane. *********

Describe each of the homojournal writers in a few sentences.
James- Small, fluffy.
Todostrieb- Middle sized, probably sleeping.
Eli- Smallest, also has tiny hands.
Rory- Taller, musically talented.
Miu- Middle sized, has nice hair.
Becky- Tall, has nice eyes.

Say which lbgt issue you feel most strongly about and why.
Probably marriage. Selfishly, because it’s the one most likely to affect me...why shouldn't I be allowed to marry a girl in church?

Would you rather have a horse the size of a rabbit, or a rabbit the size of a horse- explain your reasoning in no less than 200 words.
I would like a rabbit the size of a horse, because he would love me and be a good body guard. Also, it’d be cute. I would like a rabbit the size of a horse, because he would love me and be a good body guard. Also, it’d be cute. I would like a rabbit the size of a horse, because he would love me and be a good body guard. Also, it’d be cute. I would like a rabbit the size of a horse, because he would love me and be a good body guard. Also, it’d be cute....etc

Summarize the entire world LGBT history in no more than 200 words (ie what you think everyone... absolutely everyone should be told).
The LGBT community is the same as any other...because sexuality doesn’t change who you are. Some of us are weird. Some straight people are too. Penis in bumholes is not disgusting, grow up.

Embarrassing confession.
I actually quite like JB.

What is love/ what does love mean to you?
“Love means never having to say you’re sorry.”

Where homosexuality arises from (what makes someone gay).
There’s increasing research to suggest that our sexuality is determined at birth. For example the majority of identical twins share sexuality. (According to my BHS lecture notes). For years we couldn’t explain finger prints, why should sexuality have a great mystery behind it? We’ll know soon enough, so speculation is a waste of time.

Happiest moment you can think of, first thing that pops in your mind, no cheating! But fairly serious, don't you dare say stuff "eating a chocolate bar".
Finishing my first exam this morning...this is the most recent, hence why I thought of it first. But, if you want a good one, holding my baby sister for the first time.

Would you rather kill someone you love to end a war in a foreign country, or kill someone you hate and thereby start one?
I don’t think I could ever kill someone...every possible decision they could have made is just wiped out. Death is like the ultimate restriction of free will.

Assign a Pokemon to each Homojournalist, and justify it.
Almost all my pokemon knowledge is from the first movies and series. So, I’m going to assign Ash’s charizard to be a general homojournal mascot. When he gets his head stuck in the pipe...he pretty much represents all of our awkwardness in one scene. Also, I love him.

If you could go back and change something about your life what would it be?
I WOULD HAVE REVISED MORE FOR THESE JANUARY EXAMS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! STUPID MEL.

If you were stuck on a deserted island which one book, movie and person would you want to take along?
Book, time travellers wife. Movie, V for vendetta (though this seems pointless without a DVD player or indeed, electricity). Person, one of those survival guides on TV who enjoy living on desert islands.

Who, other than your significant other, would we have to give you for sexy-times to get you to give us all your money?
An unlimited supply of anyone I wanted, whenever and however I wanted.

Who would you rather 'have'/'do'/etc - Justin Bieber or One Direction?
Depends on if I had to do all of 1D at the same time really...

Much Love,
Mel xxx

I am never going to Freehold, Iowa.

Another Monday, another week where I'm outvoted on what topic we write about. You see, we decide by having a vote each week, and I'm all for topics like "LGBTQS celebrities as role models" and "Homophobia - actual phobia or ignorance?"

Unfortunately, the poll always looks like this by Sunday:

Actual quote - Todostrieb: "OMG flying boobs would be awesome."

Thus we have "UFOs and Aliens" week.

Now, aside from the obvious Rule 34 implications (I wish with all my heart that I hadn't Googled "Rule 34" - I despised My Little Pony enough already, thank you), I had trouble thinking of any connection between the two. So, with Google already open, I decided to do some digging. And oh my, some people have been finding connections for me.

They forgot the "BBQ" y-axis, which shows how much my brain started smouldering as I read that page.

Now I know this is a satire page, and I have nothing against gays, or aliens, or religion per-se, or crazy, but that page is a bewildering maelstrom of all 4 at the very highest levels. You could lock a starving cat in a room that contained a mouse floating in a pool, on a lilo, while blasting the Hawaii Five-0 theme tune at them, and you still wouldn't reach the levels of confusion, anger and revulsion as you see on that page. FBI Profilers could read that page as part of their training, if just to understand how strange delusions can be. We'll have evolved past the point at which we ARE THE INVADING ALIENS TO SOMEONE ELSE before we can fully understand what's going on in these people's heads.

I'm now in the middle of a true sense of humour failure here. "Pastor Ezekiel" has some very interesting badges underneath his name. Some, such as "Christian Love", and "4th Year Bible College" are absolutely brilliant, love and studying are wonderful. Here are some others:

1. "Punched the most queers" - a jolly pair of boxing gloves.
2. "True Christian Caucasian" - some variety of white object, possibly a feather, I'll give it the benefit of the doubt.
3. The rather ominous "Tell Her Once" - a shaking, closed, fist.

I will become this Sim, then go torment these people. Out of spite.

Seriously?! Satire's all very well and good, but you can't make fun of these things. It's not right, these are real issues, and it's not that funny. There are some things that you can't mock, women's rights, gay rights and aliens that might possibly have the technology to destroy us all being very high up on the list.

Aliens, if you're listening, go back. We have too much to fix before you're safe to visit.

Yours flabbergastedly,

James.

For at least 10 minutes, I didn't know it was a satirical page. I very nearly caught fire.

Virginity.......

As the title suggests, this week's theme is "virginity". For something so simple, why does it have to be so damn hard to write about? This is my fifth attempt...

WHYYYYY????

Virginity is personal. The majority think that virginity is lost with penis-in-virgina-penetration, with the extreme choosing to "save themselves" by only having anal sex. But that makes it confusing for the homosexual members of our communities.

Are lesbians forever virgins, if they choose never to have sex with men? 

I remember a few weeks back the YouTube collab "lesbiancentral" (or was it lgbteens?) defined lesbian sex as "penetration" with anything.. But you could see in the comments that not all viewers agreed.

If virginity doesn't mean much to you, it doesn't really matter what the definition is. You'll remember your first sexual acts anyway. But if you're "saving yourself" or put importance on virginity, you might want to sit down and think what you consider to be crossing the innocence line.

Losing your innocence is a personal matter, what happens to you, and what you feel is unique and personal, you don't have the whole world watching you and experiencing it with you, so don't listen to everyone else's definition of virginity. If you think you've crossed that line, so be it.

Of course, I am perfectly innocent ;)

Lastly, it's no-one else's decision but yours whether to "pop your cherry" (don't worry, I won't start ranting about how not having an intact hymen isn't a proper way to determine whether you've lost your virginity, and that you can break your hymen doing all kinds of normal things like gymnastics, and how some people are born without intact hymens...), so don't let anyone push you into it.

If you're feeling pressured, it's probably best not to go through with it. No, they will not love you more for it, you'll just end up feeling cheap and full of regret :D It also works the other way round, don't push anyone into doing things they aren't ready for. Listen when they say no..

Soooo lastly, for the last time, if you "feel you're ready", you're both willing (/it doesn't compromise either of your beliefs) and over the age of consent, why not?

Nom nom nom nom.. 

Eli x

Ps, feel free to leave comment, or email us if you wish >.<

pps,  ok I lied. That wasn't the last "lastly". I just thought of something else. This is a video I watched yesterday:

It's kinda relevant, the boy (you wouldn't really say "man"..right?) on the left, had his mum walk in on him whilst  things where getting frisky with his boyfriend in the living room.. He wasn't "out" yet..

The great thing about being gay/ having a same-sex partner, is that if you're not "out" yet, you can have sleep-overs and things without your parents really suspecting anything, or thinking too much into it. However, it makes it more awkward when they accidentally walk in..

Learn from the video, make sure you're not being silly and performing naked sexual acts in public (unless it's that kind of occasion), if you don't want anyone walking in on you, make sure you have a lock, or that no-one's home, or something to duck behind if someone does walk in. It sucks to be interrupted.

We'll just hide behind the duck, she won't guess what we've been doing..

And if you're not out to your parents, be especially careful when doing things at home.

Fin!

---------------

references/ sources:
life through my eyes blog
Anarkitty blog
yet-again-learning-to-say-no
lesbian-central
lgbteens
Hull University lgbt youtube channel
that there is good looking
naked men paper picture

What's mine is mine, so hands off bitch!

My idea of swinging

I am the Queen of the world!

Others' idea of swinging

I want to have sex with your partner for a night, do you want mine?

My idea of sharing

omnomnom just like Lady and the Tramp

Others' idea of sharing

Of course your other girlfriend can come

My idea of open relationship

The world deserves to know how nauseating we are

Others' idea of open relationship

Whose turn is it tonight?

Obviously people have different opinions, but my ideas look way more fun, cute and happy, why change them?

Reasons for swinging according to Wikipedia

1- Increased quality, quantity and frequency of sex.

One does not have to be a nymphomaniac to appreciate sex; some are never satisfied and just want more.  This is largely determined by testosterone levels, though it might also be induced by some sort of trauma (daddy issues?). Either way, I can understand that one may want a lot of sex, but is this a good justification? Why would anyone want to have sex with someone who isn't me? Let's not be ridiculous. Want more sex? Take a week off, no need to get other couples involved.

2- To add variety into an otherwise conventional sex life.

Though I understand this reason, I don't believe swinging is necessarily the solution. There are plenty of ways to add variety; want to spice things up in bed? Have a look at our fetish week. Experiment, talk to each other, what you like, what you don't like, find ways that will satisfy both. Hey, you can even invite a third party if you really want.

3- Curiosity.

Now this, I'm ok with. It’s normal to be curious, and it is often good to experiment. If both parties agree, one can always try. Communication is, however, very important. The couple should talk about how this experience made them feel, and if there is even a slight discomfort, stop before it's too late.

4- A healthy outlet and means to strengthen the relationship.

If by "strengthen the relationship" one means: "that was horrible, I was thinking of you the whole time, I never want to have sex with someone else!" Then yes, I agree. However, if the response is more like "well that was fun, I enjoyed having sex with someone else, we should do it more often" then I fail to understand how it strengthens the relationship.

In my opinion, swinging is like "justified cheating". However, it is also true that a relationship is more than just sex, it is about the feelings behind it. I said swinging is like justified cheating, but that does not imply it is wrong unless I prove cheating is wrong. Cheating has become a synonym of betrayal. You no longer satisfy your partner enough, so he/she felt the need to compensate with someone else. One can't help but feel hurt by this. It brings discomfort and anger in a relationship and this is generally considered wrong. Some believe swinging is the solution to this, but how does the fact that both members agree to cheat on each other (cause cheating is having sex, or any sexual activity, with someone that is not your partner) make it any better? If I find out my boyfriend slept with someone else and I decided to then sleep with someone else too, is that any different?

My argument may be flawed, I'm not going to spend too much time on making a perfectly logical argument, but all I know is I would never want to have sex with someone other than my boyfriend (and I am not just saying it because I know he will read this). Nevertheless, lust and love are separate, and if he  had sex with someone else, was honest and open about it and still decided to come back to me (because I am obviously better) then I would welcome him back (though I am not saying I would be enthusiastic about it and this is not a form of encouragement *stares at boyfriend*). Maybe this shows I am a masochist, maybe I'm just stupid.

Someone once told me that cheating is often a symptom, rather than a cause, of problems in a relationship. Instead of looking for "outlets", one should look closer to figure out what is going on within. There is no point in being with someone if you find yourself looking forward to "swinging night" to sleep with someone else.

As always, I would be more than happy to hear your opinions on the matter, whether they are the same or - even better - different from my own.

Love,

Miu xx

P.S. Don't forget to e-mail us at homojournal@gmail.com for any questions, comments, request or if you are bored and have nothing better to do. We are available 24/7 (that is 24 minutes every 7 hours) so try your luck!

Install Locks on Your Bedroom Door

Speaking from personal experience, it is not ideal to introduce your boyfriend/girlfriend while you are covered in love bites. Although, having said that, my parents have a rather relaxed view on my dating; it’s rare they would intervene. Mel spoke about us as a family of spiders, and what she wrote was true, but really mummy and daddy spider are quite reasonable.  I’ve been told they might step in if they thought a relationship was abusive, or they were a drug dealer/demon, but there’s an element of trust. If I did introduce them to a complete idiot whom I was dating, I like to think they would have the tact not to ridicule him to his face; mocking me later may ensue.

Here’s my list of what not to do when dealing with introductions:

• Do not get caught in bed with them, that is not something your parents need to see even if they are lenient
• At first, maybe a quick hello is better than the huge family reunion; get your boyfriend/girlfriend to pop in and say hi before making a speedy escape, think of it as a pilot introduction
•  Sunday roast is possibly not the best time, those cooking tend to get a little stressed out
• Bribe your siblings with vodka and jelly babies to tell your family nothing but good stories about them, hearing the story of your boyfriend/girlfriend's naked arrest is not the first impression a judgemental parent needs
• For the love of god do not have your parents as friends on Facebook
• Now is not the time to use nicknames unless utter humiliation is your goal here
• If it’s a guy get them to shave, it freaks my nan out if teenagers have beards, I assume other older generations may agree
• Do give parents prior warning, especially if the relationship is lgbt, unless you want your partner by your side when you come out

Apparently a logical combination

I would never judge a partner by how they get on with my family; I understand how annoying my mother can be and how strange my young teenage sister is. Although, perhaps I would look harshly on someone who found my adorable four year old sister annoying, or treated her badly. Luckily everyone seems to love her, poor dumb fools.

Todostrieb,

Please send all nudes to our email address (which I forget)

The burden of being straight

I did not choose to be straight. Honestly. I was born this way. I never really had any doubts about it. I tried kissing girls, but it just wouldn't do it for me. For the longest time I avoided facing this reality, and it wasn't until the age of 11 or 12 that I started giving in to to the astonishing truth: I like guys.

When I told my mom she was not happy. Her daughter was suffering her own misfortune. She kept on trying to convince me I should be lesbian by saying stuff like "Girls are so much easier to deal with, guys will only break your heart, guys are all liars and only want sex". She is always complaining about guys and would rather know I'm with a girl rather than with a guy. But I can't help the way I feel!

Ok, so maybe I never had the obligation of "coming out" as straight, 'cause that is just what society expects you to be. Nevertheless, I technically did "claim it" with my mother as she would always make passing references to me having a boyfriend OR a girlfriend "because you know that would be alright too"; to which I would reply "no mother, I like guys, get over it". So even if I wasn't straight, I know I wouldn't have any problem telling my mom because she would be more than thrilled (she would honestly rather I was a lesbian). My father, on the other hand, might have been a different story. I'm not really sure what his feelings are on the matter but to be honest, I truly believe that one should never be forced to pretend to be someone else. I don't think I would've felt the need to tell anyone either; I mean, why should I "come out"? It is not my fault you assumed I was straight. If anyone asked whether I had a boyfriend I might have told them "no, I'm not interested in guys" and I may have made "hot girl" comments around my friends as I do about guys. I wouldn't hide who I am, I would make it blatantly obvious. I guess that is partly because I grew up with a mother who has always fought for human rights and taught me that we are all the same. I would spend my weekends playing with my mom's friends' kids: many of my mom's friends are gay. So I never ever thought of gayness as being wrong.

Obviously, as I am currently a homo-journalist, I have several gay/bisexual friends. One of whom is my best friend. Several had joked about him being gay, but I very much knew he liked girls while he had never expressed any interest in guys. When he finally accepted the truth and told me he was bisexual, I was not surprised, nor did I have any grand reaction. It was as if he had told me "I like chocolate". Of course this meant I asked him loads of questions on how he felt, when he figured it out, what he was going to do about it, etc. He knew that I would always be there to support him or give any advice if he ever needed it. I personally think being bisexual is amazing. It opens up a whole new world of opportunities! Many more fish available, too. Damn I wish I was bi...

As I have already said before, I don't consider myself to be 100% straight, because I don't think anyone really is. But I am sure of my sexuality. I have kissed girls, but it has never really meant anything. I don't feel what I feel when kissing a guy I like; it's just like kissing a friend. Then again, I've never really "liked" a girl. A kiss means nothing in itself, it is the feelings behind it that count. One day a friend of mine asked me "If you were interested in girls, which girl in the school would you want to go out with?" I spent a few minutes really thinking about that question, and at that moment I realised that I simply could not give her an answer. I wouldn't go out with any of them, and not only the girls in the school, but also the other ones I knew or even famous actresses. It is difficult to explain, perhaps it is like asking a vegetarian to pick between a sausage or a hamburger. I could even go as far as to have sex with a girl, but it would merely be an experience. If a girl asked me out and I said yes, it would just feel like hanging out with a friend and nothing else.

I realise this post is a little confusing (and written quite badly), but feelings are not really easy to describe and I just finished my exams, have been really distracted (if you don't know what I'm talking about refer back to "getting busy with my fetish") and am very tired, so my brain is not really working properly. You will have to forgive me. I will try to make it up to you next week!

Never hide who you are. Who really loves you will support you and if they don't then... are they really worth it?

Love,

Miu xx

P.S. Don't forget to e-mail us at homojournal@gmail.com for any questions, comments, request or if you are bored and have nothing better to do. We are available 24/7 (that is 24 minutes every 7 hours) so try your luck!

Pans Labyrinth

My ideal boyfriend or girlfriend. Hummm a tricky one.

Let’s start with girlfriend, that's easy. I guess she’d be a little shorter than me, half Japanese, with sharp teeth and massive eyes. Oh wait that’s Eli. What a coincidence, we’re already dating, how convenient.

No, in all seriousness. My ideal girlfriend. She has either small or large boobs, or in-between ones. She has pale skin or dark skin or red skin or blue skin or green skin. She is short or tall, fat or thin. You get the idea. My ideal girlfriend doesn’t exist. There are features that turn me on and things I admire personality wise. But If I stuck them all together in one person I’m sure it would be horrible. The same goes for an ideal boyfriend.

And now for the awkward confession. Being bisexual puts me in a dilemma. I would say I’m 50/50 girls and guys, depending on the girls and guys in question. Which leaves me with a strange desire to date a transexual. I have an appreciation for vagina and a flat chest, yes, but there’s just something about the combination of male and female, dick and tits that turns me on. Cross dressing is hot. A balance of masculine and feminine even hotter.

Does that make me weird? Maybe. Who cares? But that's exactly why I have trouble with the bisexual label. I’m pretty sure getting confused by gender and transsexuals makes me a pansexual. It makes me sound a little like the fawn from ‘Pans Labyrinth’ so I try to stay away from it.

Lots of love,

Mel, your favourite pan/bi blogging God

Preventing Gay Bashing step 1: possess a vagina and two X chromosomes

The last bully I ran into ended up with a leg broken in 3 places. Whilst I can neither confirm nor deny my involvement in the incident causing these injuries, I like to think that justice was done.

This idiot didn’t make fun of me for being gay. Nobody has. I’ve never been told I’m unnatural or a freak. Nobody has ever treated me differently when I told them I’m bisexual. In fact the common reaction is indifference, or, in the odd case, curiosity and arousal. Of course, I would never presume that being a bisexual female is turn on for guys; we all know it’s my amazing  tits and personality that create my sex appeal.

The point stands. I have been bullied for being smart (by which I mean being a nerdy know-it-all) and for having a weird looking leg, but have never been treated badly for my sexuality.

I’d also like to think, that if somebody did have a problem with my sexuality, that I would handle him/her the way I would any other idiot: with self-confidence and patience. The small minded are to be pitied not hated. And if that failed I’m sure I could form an army at short notice to defend my honour.

I have held hands with girls in public, I have hugged girls in public, I have kissed girls in public and nobody has said or done anything. I have the right, as much as anyone, to be with those I care about wherever I like...property laws permitting. I’m not suggesting my girl and I have the right to break into Buckingham palace and fuck in the throne room because we’re queer. But I might go so far as to say, that if my beau was a duck I should be allowed to carry him round and quack to him lovingly as long as I did it with respect for those around me.  

We should all have the freedom to be with those we love and to not be afraid to do so. I can’t help but think a male gay couple might have more trouble than I have had. Even if nobody would say anything, or harm them openly, the fear would be there. Do gay bashing types see women as an easy target? After all these years are we still afraid to hit girls? Probably.

Or, perhaps I’m just lucky?  I live in London after all, maybe there are some big nasty gay bashers waiting around the corner for my girlfriend and I. Not to worry though, I can defend her with my ummm ability to eat vast quantities of frozen yoghurt and reach a top B. Yet, I’d much prefer to think that times are changing and queer relationships are being accepted rather than believe that it is only a matter of time and live my life in fear of an attack.

The LBGTQ community shouldn’t be afraid of people’s opinions. We need to go public; we need to show people that our love and relationships are just as natural as those between a man and woman. Ignorance breeds hatred and it’s our duty to eradicate the ignorance.

I am a Christian. Some Christians say homosexuality is a sin. In reply, I say a consensual relationship or love could never be a sin.

I am a scientist. Some scientists say homosexuality is unnatural. In reply, I say that here are some convincing arguments as to why homosexuality is an evolutionary advantage, and research to suggest the chemical processes causing love between a man and woman are also present in queer couples. But essentially, many species have queer sexual relations why not homo sapiens?

I am a human capable of cognition and speech. Some living, breathing and apparently thinking humans say homosexuality is wrong because if we were all gay the human race would die out. In reply, I say I am not enforcing LGBTQ relationships on the unwilling. I am supporting queer as a lifestyle choice....actually I would probably just slam my head against a wall if someone actually said that to me seriously.

Whilst I have never suffered because of my sexuality there are many many many more people who have. And that’s so wrong it breaks my heart.

As always readers, it’s been a pleasure,

All my love,

Mel.

PS. You can now follow the links on the homepage to our internet network (knights from the land of Tumblr, the faithful facebookians and twitters can now rejoice)!

Quantum homo mechanics? - Our Guest Slave Jake

I’m Jake. This is the first time I’ve ever really talked about the existence or non-existence of my homo or “bi-ness” to anyone other than my hamster Sid.

Sid agrees with me that if I had lead a different life (or been present in a different reality) I may never had fallen in love with the big arms and the hairy chests. Still, it took me many girlfriends to realise the female scorn for masculine emotional literacy wasn’t really what I needed.

I, among with some of the other bi-sexuals, have come to understand the bizarre fascination and hatred that those ‘of heterosexual origin’ have for us ‘strange breed’. It stands to reason that the way the majority feels must be the correct way of feeling, and that anything other is subnormal.

There is not much I can say to that argument above. However if I enjoy playing with men and having men play with me, then I don’t mind being a subcategory! I can just feel happy that while every homophobic man shudders at the thought, I can turn it into pleasure.

Easter. My parents love it. My dad especially loves commenting on the sub-human nature of homosexuals. I’m still saving this homo bombshell from his only son for another argument... for a time when I leave home.

I can’t say it doesn’t get to me - that I haven’t told my family - I only really tell my friends if they ask. Many do not think that I am even remotely homo, and if I am then I must hide it really well. I hide because I have to, not because I want to.

Still counting the seconds to the revolution brothers and sisters!

Keep on loving.
Jake xXx