Let's get one thing straight.

I'm not. I never have been. And I never will be*.

Science is beginning to suggest that sexual orientation, or sexuality, or sexual preference, or whatever the hell you want to call it, is at least partly genetic. In other words, it's something you're born with, not something you develop, or catch, or decide upon. It certainly isn't the work of the devil, or of God, and anybody who tries to suggest otherwise needs their head examining pronto. In case you hadn't yet realised what I'm on about, weather you like cock, tits, both or neither, it's all completely natural.

Which is why things like this piss me off big time.

I understand that people who are coming to terms with their sexuality can find it a very daunting process, and may initially be 'weirded out' by the prospect of having sex with someone of the same gender (although, if that's the case, then you're probably not gay anyway), and certainly are cautious as to your family's reaction. And I can definitely understand why you would consider trying to become straight to please your family - when I was coming out, I remember trying to picture a life in which I had a wife and later kids. In each scenario I thought of, there was a different wife, and in each and every scenario, it all ended unhappily because I preferred cock over tits.

This doesn't mean that I dreamt of every single possible scenario; far from it - I don't believe that I am 100% gay, in the same way that Miu claims she's not 100% straight. I don't know if there's a girl out there who might actually succeed in making me question my homosexuality - if such a girl exists, she probably wouldn't succeed in making me believe I'm straight, because I just don't think anybody is completely straight. I think I'm going off topic here.

If someone thinks they're gay and they don't want to be, then it is for them and only them to find this out. Therapists and anti-gay organisations and religious groups and homophobes have no right to meddle with someone's personal life, and I don't care if they claim they're doing it to 'help', because quite often it doesn't help and only serves to confuse people more. I mentioned in my coming out post that I saw a counsellor when I was coming out; she did not try to indoctrinate me into being one or the other, she did not force me to believe anything, and she certainly did not approach me claiming she had all the answers. I spoke to her, and she listened, and she was a great help, and I'm waffling.

I don't even know what I've said any more, I've written whole paragraphs and deleted them before they were finished because it was a load of bullshit. Maybe next week will see me be a little more coherent.

They say she turned straight

There's an article in the Daily Mail, about a woman that went from:

this, 

To this. 

If you type the words "I want to be turned straight" into Google, countless search results pop up, with desperate people trying to find a way out of who they are.

I take this as an indicator that homosexuality and bisexuality is something that you are born with, or something that happens, not something you choose. But in this article, the ex-lesbian states that dating women was a "choice" and not something that just happened. There was a controversy a few months back when a public figurehead stood up and announced her lesbianism was a choice. 

Perhaps this means that to some, choosing homosexuality is a choice, and to those for whom it is a choice, it may be possible to reverse that choice. However, to others, to whom it is not a choice, it could be mentally damaging to try to go-straight. My mother's friend Janet (I think) has had years of counseling due to psychological damaged caused by fanatical christian anti-homosexuality camps she was forced to attend as a teenager by her parents.

Then of course, there are some that choose to live a lie.

They say: "you can only be truly happy if you accept who you really am", but what is happiness?

"The temptation to lie to yourself, to go on living a lie, is overwhelming.."

For me personally, I think she (in the Daily Mail story) looks better as a lesbian. But I'm not the type to find the average marital bliss attractive. I think people who say that they had a choice are in fact bisexuals *shrugs*, but I am pretty much ignorant in these subjects.. again.. 

I don't think you can change who you are.. "It doesn't hurt to try it" is often a lie.. Often times if you stick with it, things get better. Especially being gay :)

see ya next Thursgay, 

eli x

ps, feel free to comment and message us :D

Homophobic Chickens

The Chick-fil-a debate may have died down a little in the past few weeks but it seems apt to resurrect it for this week’s theme, will someone always be gay? The boycott was not as a result of thousands of people disrespecting the company director’s right to freedom of speech as many mistakenly thought. But rather thousands of dollars of profits were going directly to ‘anti-gay camps’, for lack of a better term. I’ll admit, boycotting a business for a homophobic owner may seem a little over the top on the reaction scale, sure he’s an ass but does his livelihood and many others who also depend on the chain deserve to suffer? In this case yes, he’s not keeping his opinions to himself; by donating to these misguided camps it directly causes anguish to many LGBTQ teens and even adults.

The camp in question, although I’ll admit my research was brief, seems rather a complete waste of money. During the first stage of rehabilitation the idea is not to speak to anybody for fifteen days or so, with no contact with the outside world or the use of any media. This wouldn’t make me feel any less homosexual, just a lot crazier. These places prey on the fears of parents who care for their child but are frightened for them, if you just Google this company, Refuge in Milwaukee, their website is quick to point out how your loved one might be suffering from an unhealthy ‘love-addiction’, even citing cases of PTSD cause by such relationships.

It gets worse as well, some of this stuff is being taught in schools globally. There was a recent case in Malaysia where young boys were entered into a program by teachers who had concerns over their sexuality, often based on mere speculation, during school in the name of religion and ethics. I’ll admit this early targeting system is probably more effective, but ultimately more scaring. I doubt their school mates sympathised.

All my hopes were destroyed when he came out as gay :'(

I'm of the opinion your sexuality is part of who you are, it won’t change. It might take you time to find out what you truly identify as, and phases do exist; it’s perfectly possible to decide you are in fact gay after many years of being bi etc. Programs like these may stamp out any trace of the unusual from your child, but it will be a façade created by fear, no more. They will always be gay, or bi or lesbian or whatever it was you were so afraid of in the first place. You just destroyed any ounce of the courage they possessed to be themselves. Congratulations.

Todostrieb

Square pegs in round holes

My answer to this is simple. Yes, but not deliberately. I believed sexuality is a little fluid, some people need to experiment and for all I know that could take years. This makes it seems reasonable that LGBT’s could later decide they are straight.

But, in terms of actually turning someone then not so much. Can we make people Christian, or kind, or smart? We can brainwash them sure, we can condition the human mind to behave in certain ways, but it won’t result in the same psychological state of being as would be found in a ‘naturally straight person’.
I think I remember reading something about a gay person volunteering for a scientific turn me straight program. I’m not talking about those American summer camps (which I find as degrading and as disgusting as fat camps), I’m talking about proper scientific cruelty.

They would get him to...toss off...looking at pictures of men, and then give him electric shocks. They would get him to look at pictures of woman and force orgasm. The results were as you can imagine, interesting. He was turned straight for a while. Then he went mad and killed himself, which was probably not the response they had hoped for. I’d have to reference all this, it’s possible I dreamed this experiment myself, but I’m pretty sure this is all true. Even if I am being oddly delusional today, the point stands, it is hard to change who somebody is without destroying them.

A quick general word of warning about these correctional camps. When you have a problem you examine the problem. You find out what caused it. You work out how you can undo these processes that cause the problem. Thus, if we did for whatever reasons decide being gay was bad, we would need to know exact causes before we could attempt to fix it. Doing the mental or sometimes physical equivalent of beating it out of them only creates psychopaths. It would be impossible to truly change someones sexuality until we understood it in the first place.

Peace,
Mel

Btw, Mel forgot her login details, this is actually Mel's post and not me (Rory) pretending to Mel. Why would I do that??