Gay marriage legalised in the UK

This month is all about LBGT history, so what better time is there to literally make history? “The marriage bill” was passed a few days ago 400 votes to 175, which while not perfect is still the good majority. It’s caused great discontent amongst the conservatives, and I’ve heard the phrase “you can oppose same sex marriage and not be homophobic” and while I’d agree it’s not quite on par with hate crime, someone made the good point that many white people who supported the apartheid didn’t consider themselves to be racist.

As a Christian something I’ve been mildly concerned about is those churches who oppose same sex marriage, that they’ll be vilianised. While I fully support same sex marriage, and I imagine my parish priest will be more than happy to officiate the services, it is almost undeniable that the Bible is against homosexuality. While liberal churches like my own take a more modern view of such things, I don’t think it means a witch hunt should be started on those Christians who are more traditional. I’m not saying its right to be homophobic, but I don’t think anyone member of the church should be pressured into doing something against their beliefs. I hope in time the more conservative churches will change their views though.

Part of the bill is that:

 (1)A person may not be compelled to—

(a)undertake an opt-in activity, or

(b)refrain from undertaking an opt-out activity.

(2)A person may not be compelled—

(a)to conduct a relevant marriage,

(b)to be present at, carry out, or otherwise participate in, a relevant marriage, or

(c)to consent to a relevant marriage being conducted, where the reason for the person not doing that thing is that the relevant marriage concerns a same sex couple.

This means that churches will be under less legal pressure than they would have otherwise, which I think is pretty nifty, if boringly worded  (at least I think that’s what it means, someone please correct me asap if I’m hideously wrong).

So, it will take a while for all the relevant changes to be made, but keep your eyes peeled for some glorious LBGT weddings :D

Lots of love,

Todostrieb 

Business as usual.

I am the two small rectangles.

That was the post that appeared on our private FB group wall last night, from Eli. Why, you ask? What can cause this fine, even-tempered, upstanding young gentleman to become an unresponsive, slightly drooling puddle of boy on the sofa?

Homojournal, that's what.

Damn you.

You see, this week is "Drunk Post Week", and ideally we'd be answering the questions we've set each other in real time, typing while drunk, but, in a practically prescient display of forethought, Eli and I decided it'd be safer to record our ramblings, then transcribe what we said/meant to say.

Everything after 8) is being done hyped on Boost and Solpadeine instead, because:

1. I passed out;
2. I have no alcohol left;
3. I have a headache, and this kills two avianoids with one small, smooth rock.

~ Questions They Asked Me While Somewhat Tipsy ~

Describe each of the Homojournal writers in a few sentences. 

Mel: Well, she's blonde. Or brunette. I forget which. Let's go with black. I think. She'd make a great Queen, 'cos she'd make binge drinking for everyone but her the law, and she does medicine so she can heal us all afterwards.

Rory: When Wholock was created, it was with Rory in mind. We have an in-joke about one of our mutual friends in tight, white pants. Not so much an in-joke, really, as a mutual fantasy. This is weird.

Miu: Well, we have a history. It started when I kicked her in the head, and she walked after me menacingly like the girl from The Ring. It detoured through assault and madness.

Becky: Fresh meat! Erm, what? Anyway, I have little to say so far, seeing as I've yet to meet her. She seems nice, and I'm sure, being Mel's friend, she'll have some form of mental aberration.

Eli: My Mum knows her as "the strange girl" and my Dad knows her as "the one with odd hats". She gave me alcohol so obviously she's lovely.

Todostrieb: She has excellent fashion sense and boobs, and I've inherited a facial expression from her. We have shockingly identical taste in men.

EDIT: I've just read Todostrieb's scheduled post, and she references that last bit about her. So, um, yeah. I now feel awful that that wasn't my "Embarrassing confession" or "Biggest regret/worst thing you've done whilst drunk".

That's a lie, I don't feel bad at all, I was just talking to him while typing this post, I'm going to Hell.

Which LGBTQ issue you feel most strongly about and why?

Well, gay marriage, or, as it's more properly known, "marriage", is quite high on the list. I don't know if I'm the marrying type, or if I'll marry a guy, but it might be quite nice for others to be able to do so without getting attacked by a mob.

Would you rather have a horse the size of a rabbit, or a rabbit the size of a horse- explain your reasoning in no less than 200 words.

LOOK AT IT.

A picture is worth a thousand words, so I'm 816 over the minimum.

Summarize the entire world LGBTQ history in no more than 200 words (ie what you think everyone... absolutely everyone should be told).

All accurate descriptions of me.

This describes most LGBTQ people, so it'll have to do.

Embarrassing confession?

When I was in Year 4 I gained a strange sort of popularity as a kind of wedding planner. You know those cute kiddy-weddings that kids had in the playground? Yeah, I took over organising them and the decorations. I used tinsel and "Congratulations!" banners from our loft - I must've been the campest 8 year old anyone'd ever seen.

Your weirdest dream?

I had a dream where my friend took acid and murdered all of us at college except me, 'cos I killed him in self-defence. Then I got blamed for the murders. It was unfortunate.

Happiest moment you can think of?

Well, everything else aside, when me and Cretzal (and most of the other Homojournalists) slept round someone's house after a party, and he kept doing seal impressions was pretty damn brilliant. 

No, he didn't sing "Kiss From A Rose" to me.

The clueless naivety of the person's father was quite amusing too:

- "I'll get you another sleeping bag."
- "No need, we'll share."
- "Oh no, I won't force you two to share..."
- "You wouldn't be forcing us."
- "...?"

If you could go back and change something about your life what would it be? 

I'd campaign for surgery on my mouth and jaw more forcefully when I was younger. I would've gotten it free as corrective surgery rather than cosmetic, but now it'll cost something like £999,999,999, which I won't have until at least three months of saving. 

If you were stuck on a deserted island which one book, movie and person would you want to take along?

Well, the book's easy: "The God of Small Things", by Arundhati Roy. It's a beautiful book, and you are hereby ordered to go and buy it as soon as you've read this post. Not before though, because that would be rude.

Movie? Well, assuming we have a TV and DVD player, "Easy A" - I AM Olive Penderghast. If not, the "Prisoner: Cell Block H" box set might be useful, as 174 discs could be good for burning, producing heat and smoke so you can be found.

The person?

You could strand us on Mars and I'd be happy - we'd be naked in minutes.

Who, other than your significant other, would we have to give you for sexy-times to get you to give us all your money?

Look directly above the question.

Who would you rather 'have'/'do'/etc - Justin Bieber or One Direction?

There's one Justin Bieber, and he's Justin Bieber. There's 5 people in One Direction, and none of them are Justin Bieber. A sixsome with One Direction, thank you.

Biggest regret/worst thing you've done whilst drunk?

Well, passing out and not finishing this wasn't exactly A* material, was it? Also, I once passed out in a ditch while drinking mead that the friend from the weird dream gave me. Maybe it was a symbolic, prophetic dream.

...god, that took AEONS to type...

Yours sheepishly,

James.

Eli fed me vodka-soaked plums that tasted of coffee, vodka-jelly baby sludge that tasted of diabetes and vodka-soaked raspberries that tasted of sadness. No wonder I passed out. I think she was trying to date-rape me, but I've examined myself and I don't think I have any unaccounted-for marks...

Heartbreak Hotel

Gay marriage doesn’t bother me; it’s just the marriage part I don’t like. It seems like a binding promise to love someone forever, I don’t think it’s fair to make promises you can’t keep. Almost one in two marriages end in divorce nowadays and it probably reflects that it’s now socially acceptable to change partners, instead of being stuck with the man your parents chose for you for life.

I can see that marriage is more like a guarantee, it might be a more stable environment to raise and family, and from that point of view I think that gay marriage should be legal, they have just as much right to raising a family as any other couple.

It also seems weird to me that laws can be passed about religion, it seems like the two should be separate, my vote is we get rid of any legislation about marriage and let the open minded priests do whatever they like. How can a government interfere with God's will? If there is a god that is.

I don’t want to get married, mainly because I don’t want kids, they’re evil little buggers. But it also seems like a lot of effort, let’s say hypothetically I thought I could love someone until the end of time, why do I need to stand up in church in a frilly white dress and tell my nearest and dearest that? If you’ve already lived with and loved someone for a number of years, what does it change?

Let’s say I change my mind, which is a distinct possibility, I’d go to Vegas and get an Elvis look alike to marry me in jeans and a t-shirt. Then spend my honey moon playing reckless games of poker and drinking fancy cocktails.

All homojournalists will be expected to accompany me on this venture

Todostrieb

Where You go I Will go, Where you Stay I Will Stay

I'm a good little C of E girl. I bell ring and I sing in the church choir. Every year I get paid to help out at several weddings, here is some of what I have learnt.

1. The reading will always be ‘Love is patient, love is kind....’
2. The priest only prepares one sermon, which they will use for every single wedding in their entire career.
3. Brides wearing heels need to watch the floor; old churches have heating grates that like to eat people.
4. One of the hymns will always be Jerusalem.
5. They will always be between a man and a woman.

Points 1-4 I'm resigned to. Although, there’s a lovely passage in Ruth about what Love is, if anyone straight fancies breaking up the routine for me.  It’s point 5 I have an issue with.

My church has several gay members of the congregation and gay clergy men. One of these charming men came with me to a massive C of E conference to meet our local bishop. At this conference we were mixed up with strangers and split into groups. My group was lovely; we built a church out of pipe-cleaners and started brainstorming about how to bring the church forward. Unluckily for my gay clergy man, he sat next to a pillock who went on the entire time about how it was the churches responsibility to ban homosexuality. Had it been me, I would have dragged the homophobe up to the bishop by his ear, and demanded that the bishop pray for his immortal soul, or read aloud pretty much any of the new testament.

My priest (a woman if anyone is curious) once said to me that she would rather be punished when she died for supporting LGBTQ love, than be punished for condemning it. This seemed to her like good enough reason not to be a bigot. In contrast, one of the gay members of the congregation received a death threat from another member of the congregation, because he had been seen in public with his partner. If anybody is wondering what happened, the threatening letter was handed over to the police by my previous priest and the member of the congregation dealt with accordingly.

As an obviously, less than straight member of the congregation, I find these entire goings on quite concerning. What I’m trying to get across with these anecdotes, is that clearly the church is conflicted. The truly dedicated Christians, in my experience are the ones who will leave the judging to God. They are the ones who give the homeless- even though they may be alcoholic drug addicted whores- money on the street. They are the ones who can ignore passages of the bible that tell us to stone the unfaithful wives, those who’ve had sex before marriage and homosexuals. This has been my experience, but perhaps it is not true for everyone.

When we studied terrorism in philosophy, an interesting point was raised. Terrorists believe what they are doing is right, some believe they are doing the work of their God or Gods. But what if these extremists are misinterpreting their religion, how can we ever know if what they are doing is right? The bible, or any other religious text, doesn’t change depending on who reads it or when we read it. It’s a text or text that should be timeless. To claim it means one thing is to lessen that. To claim objectively that it means we should kill certain groups of people, or condemn them, is to restrict the religious text's applications to just that.

Leviticus, the chapter of the bible which speaks most famously about homosexuality, is also the chapter of the bible which condemns tattoos, shellfish and pork. Many homophobes forget that. I have always believed that the bible has these things in more as health warnings than anything else. I appreciate that Judaism upholds some of these laws very literally, but as a Church of England member, I have come to understand that eating shellfish in the times of the bible would have resulted in food poisoning. Gay sex, even now, has more health risks associated with it than straight sex. Some of this is a social stigma, but part of it is practicality. Back in the good old days, anal tearing would’ve killed you. Though, granted, the fear mongering and death penalty does seem a very extreme warning.

So you can see that religion has many different interpretations. My view is that good Christianity means not judging unless you are actually Jesus. So you can probably put 2 and 2 together and realise that as a bisexual I must support gay marriage. I’m lucky enough to live in England, which means that if I want I can get married in a registry office, and all the legalities of a normal marriage will apply. But to me, lack of a church wedding is the same as saying that our relationship isn’t worthy to be blessed in God’s house. A wedding is standing in church with the people you love and making a vow with God’s blessing. Why should that be any different if who you love isn’t a member of the opposite sex?

Wow, this has been a long post; I guess it’s something I feel strongly about. I used to picture myself married to a guy in my head. Though now I think that was more social conditioning than anything else. I once had a dream that Eli and I were getting married, and we had to find a church that had an isle wide enough for both our wedding dresses.  I’m worried that one day soon I’ll want to marry someone I love and be told ‘No, you can go to a registry office, God doesn’t want you here’.  

My God is a God of Love. Why should LGBTQ love be excluded from that?

Have fun,

Mel

xxx

Straight and Proud (and by "proud" I mean not ashamed)

All week we have been reading about all the nice perks about being LGBT, as well as some downsides. I reckon it is all a bit silly thinking about it, because it is not like we have a choice over it and wouldn't want this week to be perceived as a way of persuading people into being LGBT. I hope we all realise how ridiculous such an idea would be.

Anyways, having said this, I am here to defend heterosexuality (as if it needs defending); so I made a list of what I believe could be considered perks about being straight.

1- I know what I want. 
I may be confused about many things, but my sexuality is not one of them. I like men, always have and - most likely - always will. I didn’t have to go through that weird stage most people in the LGBT community have to go through where everything is confusing and full of "do I like guys or girls? Is the way I am feeling a one-off thing? Am I a freak? Am I ok with this?" ecc. Sure I had the occasional "how do I know I am not lesbian?", but I managed to quickly test and refute that hypothesis. I am happy that at least one thing in my life is certain… or relatively so. By now you must all know about my crazy idea that we are all inherently bisexuals, just to different extents (if not, you seriously need to catch up! Start by clicking here).

2- I know how to get it. 
I admit, this is a bit of a silly point, so I will not waste much time on it. What I mean is that there are  plenty of novels and life stories and advice, even from scientists, on how boy-girl interactions work. So I am more informed on how to "lure my victim into my love trap", and stuff like that (have you not read any girly magazines??).

3- Bodies fit perfectly together, like a glove. 
It is as if our bodies are modelled to fit together like pieces of a puzzle. All is, of course, adapted for reproduction, but I just love that cosy feeling. I mean, isn't it awkward being face to face when boobs smash against boobs and penises against penises? I say so, but I love hugging my best friend - a girl with massive boobs (no Mel not you) -  and boobs are comfy… Okay, that is not the point, you get what I mean, right? Moving on.

4- Saving the human race.
Yes, yes, slightly melodramatic; but if mankind were to be on the brink of extinction, and sperm banks were destroyed, we can repopulate the Earth. Although I guess technically if you are a lesbian you can still have straight sex, even though you wouldn't enjoy it, and bisexuals have no problems, but let's ignore that just for the sake of argument and because I don't have much to say. Previous posts have been talking about how IVF is a perk (though I fail to understand why)... well straight people can have both ;) And by that I mean we can reproduce both sexually or by IVF. Also, the knowledge that the child contains both parents' genes is a lovely feeling, passing on your genes and stuff and knowing that there is a human being that is both you and your other half. I think it is quite wonderful to recognise each other in that cutie face that somehow resembles both at  the same time. Maybe it gives a feeling of accomplishment? I wouldn't know and have no plans of finding out soon (you can sigh in relief hun).

5- Living in peace.
Of course it is all relative, and I do not mean free from war (let's be realistic here). All I mean is freedom from things such as gay-bashing, or be able to walk hand in hand with your loved one without being stared at judgementally (though, may I just add that straight inter-racial relationships are still stared at v.v). Heterosexuality is considered the norm, and it is perfectly (socially) acceptable. In fact, it is what some societies and the church EXPECT us to be like. But let's not get into an argument about how they are despicable human beings.

6- No expectation to declare our sexuality.
As discussed in week 7, I am referring to "coming out". Everyone is considered to be straight until the individual "comes out" stating differently. Therefore, we do not have to face those awkward conversations with family (apart from "the talk" dreaded by every teenager) and friends.

7- Marriage approved by the Church.
Straight people can get married in the Church and be recognised by everyone. Even if I personally don't see why someone would care for the Church's approval, I understand that there are some religious people in the LGBT community who look for acceptance from their respective authorities or whatever. Anyways, at least we get a choice, which is always nice (who has more choice now, huh?)

8- I can donate blood 
Oh yes, to quote one of the questions: "Male donors only; in the last 12 moths have you had oral or anal sex with a man, with or without a condom?" They even ask if you are a prostitute *giggles childishly*.

9- Fewer people to be jealous of :D
If you are in a relationship with a straight person, you have  half the world (more or less) . If he is a straight man, there is no need to be jealous of his male friends (unless you are afraid he might become gay in which case, seriously, stop obsessing). Of course I am only talking in general as I am not a jealous person - when someone is as amazing as me jealousy is a ridiculous concept.

10- More diversity in the relationship.
Just a way of saying how each person plays a different and distinct role in the relationship. Similar to the way, in a gay relationship, one is conceived as the male while the other one is the female. Also, in a gay relationship, and I will just be bold and say it, there can be: wanking, blow jobs, anal. That is all. In a straight relationship, on the other hand, there can be: wanking, fingering, blow jobs, licking, anal, "actual sex" and tit-wank. See? Diversity.

11- The world is our battle field.
What I mean by that is simply that there is no need to go to gay bars or gay web sites. There is a greater chance that a random person you meet and fancy is straight rather than gay. Don't think I need to expand on that, it is really straight forward.

12- Most importantly, I love being straight because like guys and not girls ;)
Which is really all that matters.

So that is my list. If you have anything to add or criticise (I do enjoy constructive criticism), then feel free to comment.

Love,

Miu xx

P.S. Don't forget to e-mail us at homojournal@gmail.com for any questions, comments, request or if you are bored and have nothing better to do. We are available 24/7 (that is 24 minutes every 7 hours) so try your luck!