And the winner is....

Firstly, I should probably point out that I stole the idea for this week from a YouTube collab channel I subscribe to, called The Global Gays, and I sincerely suggest that everybody goes and watches some of their videos because a) they're well made, b) they come from all over the world, c) they're all vaguely good looking and d) one of them tends to post without clothes on.

Secondly, the move to Germany went well, all boxes are unpacked and some sort of order is now being established in this house, even if I have to get used to driving on the wrong side of the road, and giving way to traffic coming from the right.

And now to the bit which everybody has been waiting for.

This week, my esteemed colleagues decided it was high time to find me a boyfriend, there were a number of suggestions, some of them hopefully weren't serious.... to recap, the choices were:

• An Ezra Miller clone
• Mel
• Sherlock / Benedict Cumberbatch
• Merlin / Colin Morgan
• The Doctor / Matt Smith
• David Tennant
• Justin Bieber
• Neil Patrick Harris

An Ezra Miller clone
James, I agree with you that Mr Miller is rather scrumptious, and I would most certainly not object to calling him my boyfriend, but alas, we are talking about a humble clone here, and I'd rather have the original - but thanks for the offer >.< I'll have the clone as my toyboy though!

Mel
There is one fatal problem to this suggestion, I'm afraid Mel - you possess boobs and a vagina in place of a penis and unfortunately, as you pointed out in your post, that's a problem for me....

Sherlock / Benedict Cumberbatch
I saw this suggestion and thought 'brilliant!' But then I sat down to write this post, and I suddenly thought that Sherlock and I would never quite get on with one another... As Todostrieb pointed out, I do possess a vague interest in astrophysics, and Sherlock is completely ignorant of the formation of the solar system. Sorry, that's a no go. Besides, we'd argue too much. Benedict, on the other hand... is ginger and a little old for me, maybe if you were to freeze him until I'm his age, then things might work.

Merlin / Colin Morgan
This is another suggestion I was thrilled with, imagine the spark it would add to our sex lives when Merlin climaxes and it turns out to be a magical incantation which sets the bed on fire or something... Excellent, that's sorted. And then I realised that my cat is called Merlin too, and suddenly it occurred to me that people who know this fact might assume I'm a beastophile when I proudly declare "Merlin's my boyfriend". Actually, that's probably the reason why I'm considering the actors too, I have no objection to Colin Morgan, as long as he can speak in that sexy Merlin voice rather than his natural Irish accent...

The Doctor
I'm going to assume that Mel was referring to the Elevnth when she out this suggestion forward, since it was Eleven's picture she'd added to the post - besides, the previous ten doctors no longer exist. Now don't get me wrong, I'd kill to be the Doctor's companion, in every sense of the word, but I'd get too attached to the one I'm with, I wouldn't get on with the new one after regeneration. In terms of the actors for the doctor, some of them are dead, and I'm no necrophiliac, others simply don't do it for me. Matt Smith, however, I'd not say no too.

David Tennant
Again, I loved this suggestion, but then I re-watched Journey's End from season 4 of Doctor Who, and realised that he was far too hairy. I do however agree with that set of criteria you listed, Todostrieb, of course, the Not Gay part to David Tennant was a problem....

Justin Bieber
Eli, I seriously hope that you were joking when you suggested this.... person. I won't pass judgement on his (lack of) musical talent,  And I'm not sure when I ever said I was into small men...? (I'm not, for the record.) Besides, he looks about twelve years old...

Neil Patrick Harris
Now there's eye candy if there ever was some... And I must correct you, Miu, Neil is engaged to be married (to a rather smexy specimen of a man). Although, my conscience gets the better of me here, I don't want to deprive their kids of their two lovely daddies and destroy their relationship, I prefer monogamy.

And so I must declare Mel to be the winner. That doesn't mean she's now my boyfriend, I'm not sure Eli would let that happen. She put forward the winning suggestion of Colin Morgan, even if she didn't mean to, and has my permission to endulge herself with Jelly Babies and Vodka.

When every straight man's hero turns out to be gay

Yes, I am late, but I want to submit my candidate for Rory's boyfriend.

Name: Neil Patrick Harris

Age: Irrelevant

Hair: Blond

Eyes: Blue

Special features: Awsomeness 

Wikipedia: Neil Patrick Harris is an American actor, singer, director, and magician. Harris was named as one of Time magazine's 100 most influential people in 2010,[2] and was awarded a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame in September 2011. 

Why is he the best candidate

• Gay
• Handsome
• Well dressed
• Actor
• Broadway singer and dancer
• Funny
• Charming
• Amazing
• Did I mention Broadway??

Facts to ignore - He is married and has kids... Not to worry! As soon as he sees you Rory it will be love at first sight and will get a divorce. It adds another pro: family guy, kind father.

Still not convinced? Watch this

Or...

Because I love Hugh Jackman :D

I must add a thanks to my boyfriend for showing me these videos... no he is not gay :/

Love,

Miu xx

"If I was your boyfriend..."

Hello from japan. I heard that this week's theme is "find rory a boyfriend". If I am wrong, forgive me. It's hard to be sure without the internet.
In the car today, this song came on in the radio:


                                   It seemed perfect, considering this week's theme.

Here's a brief factfile:

Name: Justin Drew Bieber
-Birth date: March 1, 1994
-Birth place: Stratford, Ontario, Canada
-Eye Color: Brown
-Hair Color: Brown
-Height: 5’3 ½ and growing!
-Parents: Pattie (mom)
-Siblings: sister, Jazmyn
-Pets: One dog (Sammy)
-Super Power Wish: To fly
-Favorite Candy: Sour Patch Kids
-Hidden talent: “I can solve a Rubik’s cube in less than a minute.”
-Nicest gift he’s ever given: “I took my mom on a vacation to Florida.”
-Favorite time of day: Night
-Favorite TV show: Smallville
-Celebrity crush: Beyoncé
-Favorite brand of shoes: Supra
-Favorite brand of toothpaste: Colgate
-Most special fan gift: A set of dog tags.

Why I think he would be a good boyfriend?
a) he explained in his song
b) from looking at who you fancied in the past, I noticed some carracteristics they had in common: musical, shorter than you, slim, slightly foreign... You must agree, he fits in perfectly with that crowd!
c) He's musical,and he'd be able to wake you up with a love-song.
d) he has money and a good career, which is a plus, you must agree:D

However, there's two downsides to him:
a) he's constantly working!
b) You'd have to fight off the fangirls, including Selena (and think of the death-threats you'd recieve!!)

Vote Bieber for your boyfriend, you know you secretly want him to call  you "Baby".

eli x

ps, sorry.. it was all I could think of... :( the Japanese sun has burned out my brains...
pps, feel free to leave a comment and email. I'm away, and won't be able to message back, but I'm sure one of my loyal subjects will be happy to reply for me :D

Ps- I think this post should be renamed 'Lustin' for Justin'- Mel

Rory's Dream Guy

Let me see:

1. Musically talented
2. Doctor Who nerd
3. Tall
4. Likes gummy bears and vodka
5. Brunette (I just automatically pair all blondes with brunettes for some reason, adds variety to their children)
6. Appreciates astrophysics, but hates the rest of the physics field
7. Gay

No one I personally know fits these criteria which I have devised for Rory’s genetically unparalleled mate. The closest of my personal acquaintances only fits four out  of seven :/ however, if I were to go out on a limb here the obvious choice is David Tennant.

Pros:

• Doctor who nerd
• Sexy
• Tallish
• Probably knows a little astrophysics
• Almost everyone likes vodka and gummy bears, so he is likely to
• Brunette with pretty highlights

Cons:

• Not gay
• Not certain of musical prowess, but if all else fails could be lovingly ‘tutored’ by Rory

The not gay problem I suspect is one of the biggest issues that face non-straight people today, some people take offense if they get propositioned by a member of the opposite sex, but, as we all know everyone is actually bisexual (refer all questions to Miu).  Remember, it also works the other way around, you could be totally in love with a girl who regrets to inform you is a lesbian.

Come hither my dear Rory

In short, Rory, begin your stalking now.

Todostrieb

Two Spice Girls Were Named After Mel

It all started one day when Mel was sat at her laptop thinking clever thoughts. Sadly she was interrupted from these clever thoughts by the homo-journalists, who demanded she take time out of her hectic schedule to attend to Rory’s whims. 

Mel muttered to herself darkly, the homo-journalists did not find this unusual as Mel often talked to herself, it was the only way she could get any intelligent conversation. 

Worryingly, Mel’s first thought was "well if he needs a boyfriend, I’ll do it. I volunteer for the good of humanity to show Rory the ropes." Then she remembered, there was a ‘boy’ stipulated somewhere in the homo-journalists request, and sadly she couldn’t quite fill those cough pants cough. 

So the search began. Except, well that fan fiction was looking pretty tempting right now.....and so five hours later Mel was found past her deadline still laughing about Harry Potter And The Methods Of Rationality. 

Then dundundun Mel had one of those moments of pure genius that very few mortals could ever understand. Fan fiction, the answer to all our problems she thought. It is a well known saying in the gay community. In real life- assume straight. In a fandom- assume gay. Thus Mel proposed we match make Rory with some of the slash fan fiction stars.

Identity Code: RORYBF001	Previous pairings: John Watson MBBS (Johnlock), Moriarty (Morlock), Dr Who (Wholock), Molly Hooper (this pairing has no colloquial name, due to it being inherently crap), The Woman.
Height: 6’0
Hotness factor: Infinite
Fandom: Sherlock
Comments: He can deduce me anytime. Strongly suggest Rory proposes now.

Identity Code: RORYBF002	Previous pairings: Arthur Pendragon (Merthur), Uther Pendragon (Incestuous foursomes may be an added bonus Rory), Gwen (ewww), Morgana (slightly less eww), The dragon (we don’t judge).
Height: 6’1
Hotness factor: Magical
Fandom: Merlin
Comments: We all know that magical powers are essential for anal sex of any kind. Have you not read any Drarry?

Identity Code: RORYBF003	Previous pairings: The Tardis (who cares about physical relationships anyway), Rose (it broke our hearts a little), Rory (see our Rory is already in- he like’s Rories), See comments, the list is too long to complete also SPOLIERS.
Height: 5’11.5
Hotness factor: Hello Sexy
Fandom: The Whoverse
Comments: He’s over 900 years old, think of all the time he’s had to perfect his technique. Also, they don’t call him lord for nothing- well hello SIIIR.

Report conclusion:

Mel proposes MERWHOLOCKRORY.....

Reports secondary conclusion: 

Fire Mel from Homojournal for being certifiably insane.

Goodnight folks, thanks for reading.

Mel

Well, that was simple.

Here at Homojournal HQ (which, despite the fact that only 1/6 of us frequent there, I have just decided is Wetherspoons), we have a mission. A mission so important, so universally accepted as the apotheosis of honourable quests, that we at Homojournal aren't quite sure that we can do it. But, for our own sake, we must try.

Our quest?

Finding Rory a boyfriend.

#13: The Boyfriend.

Now, all the other Homojournalists are scratching their heads at this, desperately trying to figure out who Rory would be most suited to, but I, even though I'm on holiday and therefore don't have very much time to think, found this easy. I know what Rory likes.

I know what everyone likes.

Besides, in an earlier post I already said I intended to clone Ezra Miller and keep multiples of him as sex slaves, so I should have one for Rory to take.

Hell, have three.

Yours strangely,

James.

If this fails, I know Rory well enough through text conversations to know which of our schoolmates to drug and present to him in only tight boxers.