Don't wait until it's too late

I know I've been missing recently, and although I'm writing this relatively early, it'll probably still be late. I apologise if anyone actually wished to read what I might have to say no matter how silly. Anyway, reading some of what my fellow homojournalist have written this week, I decided to take some time off my very busy schedule of doing nothing and try writing something worth reading.

I have not researched any of this (what can I say, I'm lazy) but I think suicide may happen in two ways:

Lost in the flare of the moment. 
Someone might be having a bad couple of weeks or even just a particularly bad day, so impulsively decides life isn't worth living. Unfortunately suicide isn't something you can just change your mind on or file it under "never-to-repeat" list. Rory went on a rant about people who throw themselves in front of trains, and I couldn't agree more. Although they cannot tell us what was going through their mind, I can think of a few reasons why they might choose this way. PLEASE NOTE THAT THIS IS NOT A FORM OF ENCOURAGEMENT.

1. They are angry and purposefully want to disrupt transport for others 'cause they hate the world and think it as a sort of revenge.
2. They think it's quick, effective and... no time for second-thoughts
3. They accidentally took a step too far (hey maybe not all of those are suicides)

They are not brilliant reasons, but I don't think a suicidal person is in a position to think straight so why argue? 

The last desperate act.

It's often depression that leads to this, but it can also be other mental illnesses. I will concentrate on the former. Depression often isn't easy to spot until it has reached the "higher stages", I happen to have recently read lots about it so I'll just post some links about various symptoms and how they manifest in different people, as I don't want to talk only about that.

http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Depression/Pages/Symptoms.aspx

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/depression_signs_types_diagnosis_treatment.htm

http://www.depressionalliance.org/help-and-information/what-is-depression.

This is a quick summary of some of the symptoms, if you have even the slightest doubt about your condition, you should read through the links, google and speack to your GP; it might be nothing, but better safe than sorry. It is not as black and white as it might seem, it's not just about "I cry everyday", in men depression often manifests as anger rather than sadness, whilst teenagers may become more irritable and short tempered. It is important to keep in mind that there are more than one symptoms though you may not have all of them.

• Tiredness and loss of energy
• Persistent sadness
• Loss of self-confidence and self-esteem
• Difficulty concentrating
• Not being able to enjoy things that are usually pleasurable or interesting
• Undue feelings of guilt or worthlessness
• Feelings of helplessness and hopelessness
• Sleeping problems - difficulties in getting off to sleep or waking up much earlier than usual
• Avoiding other people, sometimes even your close friends
• Finding it hard to function at work/college/school
• Loss of appetite
• Loss of sex drive and/ or sexual problems
• Physical aches and pains
• Thinking about suicide and death
• Self-harm

I think a possible reason why so many reach this stage is the unwillingness to look for help. Sure, talking to friends might help, but it is often a lot better to speak to a stranger and the best option is if this stranger holds a degree in psychology. Going to a "shrink" does not make you crazy, depression is an illness and they are simply doctors that won't stick nasty stuff in you. Another problem is what I've already said: people don't realise until it is too late. It is difficult for other people to realise what is going on inside a person, so it's really up to them to make the first move.

Since I can't think of anything else to say (mainly 'cause I'm hungover) I'll end this post with a confession, part of the reason I haven't really been writing is because in the past few months I too have been ticking quite a few of those boxes :S Does it mean I'm depressed? I personally don't really think so, though it sometimes worries me, but I'd better check that with someone more qualified to judge just in case. So if you have any doubts, follow my example, you've got nothing to lose :) Also, this is the first time I mention it to anyone so hey, I guess it really is easier to speak to strangers :P

...Now I'll just have to deal with my boyfriend who has suddenly taken an interest in what I'm writing (hope you are not offended or worried, I love you!) Oh and of course my "fellow homojournalists" are my friends hmm... maybe they won't read :P

Love,

Miu xx

Suicide is never the answer.

I was in the UK earlier this week; I spent a hell of a lot of this time on the public transport system in and around London, and unfortunately for me, and every other commuter going into Liverpool Street on Tuesday morning, this public transport system ground to a halt once again because somebody had been hit by a train. In the middle of the morning rush hour.

Tragic and sad though it is that anybody should ever feel driven to feel suicidal (and if you are, please go and seek some sort of professional help), I unfortunately have very little sympathy for people who think that the best 'way out' is being run over by the world's biggest bullet (more on the 'way out' in a moment). I have even less sympathy for those people who actually go through with it, and are prepared to a) traumatise the driver live for the rest of his or her life with the knowledge that he or she was driving the train which killed you and there was nothing he or she could have done apart from apply the emergency brake, by which time it's too late anyway, b) cause so much unnecessary disruption to people you've never even met, c) leave behind so much suffering for your friends and family (everybody has friends and family who care a great deal about you, some people just have funny ways of showing it), d) let the people on the platform who saw you jump live with that image for the rest of their lives and last but not least e) made such a terrible mess on our already filthy and disgusting train lines. Forgive me for being blunt, and perhaps a little insensitive, but I fail to understand how anybody, suicidal or not, can justify ruining other people's lives just because they've had enough of their own.

There are unfortunately many people who feel that the only light at the end of the tunnel is that of the on-coming train - and that suicide really is the best option. This is often, as I'm sure one of my esteemed colleagues will have pointed out by now, a result of either a mental illness or of bullying. Quite often, I imagine that both are connected in some way. In both cases, approaching somebody and asking for help is always the best way forward - although none of us are trained counsellors, if you find yourself in this situation, send us an e-mail and we'd be more than happy to point you towards some friendly, understanding people who are more than willing to help you.

With regard to 'the way out' - there isn't one. You can't just decide that because you're stressed, or because nobody likes you, or because you feel isolated killing yourself will be OK, because it won't. Granted, you won't be stressed, but think about how distressed those around you will be... and when you're six feet deep, you'll be more isolated then than you ever will be alive.

Let me say this again, in plain words that everybody can understand:

• SUICIDE
• IS
• NEVER
• AN 
• OPTION.

I don't think I can make it clearer than that. There are people who care about you, there always will be. Perhaps you haven't met them yet. But by taking your own life prematurely, you will never, ever meet that person who cares. Take it from these people, they've been to dark places nobody ever needs to go to, and have lived to tell the tale - and a happy life.

I know I've linked to this song before, but it's brilliant, and well worth a listen. Twice.

I apologise if I've been uncharacteristically blunt and/or insensitive this week, I suppose I don't really approve of suicide in any form, and when I have opinions like this I find it unusually hard to express them both verbally and written...ly. I also realise that I seem to have chosen the rather more extreme example of throwing yourself in front of a train as the focus for most of this post; thankfully it doesn't happen all too often.

Hopefully next week's topic will be more cheerful, but we wouldn't be doing our duties properly if we didn't have some serious topics once in a blue moon.

You have too much to live for

Okay, so maybe you don’t right this second. You lost your job. Your wife left you. You can’t stop cutting. You can’t stop starving. The world is a horrible place. But it doesn’t always have to be. Any second now, someone could knock on your door right…now. Give you $1,000,000,000/sweep you off your feet/ give you a big hug. Somewhere out there cares, even if it doesn’t seem like, and if all else fails I do, drop me a line in our email and I’ll get back to you from my own email/skype/phone/tumblr/homing pigeon.

Suicide prevention makes me sad, sad that we need this week and sad that so often it fails. The easiest thing to do is confront someone your concerned about if you think they may be suicidal. By confront I do not mean “get better, I am unwilling to help someone with a mental illness who doesn’t try and get better”, I mean make them tea and cookies. Tell them you love them. Let them know you’re there for them. If they don’t want to speak about it, let them know that’s okay too, but you’ll be there for them when they do. Give them constructive things to do and spend time doing useless things like painting with your hands. Do your research, is this person going through personal issues you could help with (don’t but your nose in where it isn’t wanted though!). Or maybe you feel they fit a profile for a mental illness, encourage them to take the first steps in seeking help. There’s no formula for making someone feel better, but trying, even if you fail, is worth the effort.

If you didn’t notice the signs, don’t blame yourself, it’s human nature to be self-centred, just try harder to care about others from now on.

Some tips for emergencies:

·         If you find someone bleeding too much

o   Apply immediate pressure to the wound, don’t be afraid to press hard and hurt you want to stop blood flow to the area

o   Elevate the site of wound, for example, hold an arm above their head

o   Keep them from going into shock, speak to them and try and keep them awake, offer a sugary drink

o   I don’t recommend trying this but coconut milk is isotonic with blood so it can be used as an emergency transfusion

o   To further stop blood flow you can tie a tight bandage (a shoe lace will do) at the base of the limb, but be careful, if blood flow is cut off too long their cells can begin to die.

o   Keep them warm, use blankets and anything available

o   Obviously first you should call 911/999 whatever your emergency number is.

·         If you think someone has overdosed and they are conscious

o   Make them stay awake and walk around

o   Feed them water saturated with salt and hopefully they’ll throw up, make sure they don’t choke though, learn the Heimlich or if all else fails clear their airways manually (it’s not recommended to do this because of the risk of lodging the blockage further down their throat but in dire circumstances you may need to)

o   Again call for medical aid

·         If they’re not

o   Call for medical aid, there’s not much you can do here, try and identify what it is they took and how much, this may make professional treatment easier

o   Put them in the recovery position, if you don’t know it roll them gently onto their side and keep a close eye on them

·         Drowning

o   This is one I don’t know much about I’m afraid, but if there are strong currents do not dive in after them, especially if the water is cold, the danger is too great to yourself

o   Learn mouth to mouth resuscitation, use this

o   Keep them warm, the water will make them lose heat extremely fast

There’s a million different methods of suicide, I’ve covered some common ones, but my advice is no substitute for medical training, lots of schools and universities offer short and often free courses in basic first aid if this is something that keeps you awake at night I recommend taking one, you never know when it might come in handy.

As I’m signing off, if a loved one or someone close to you is suicidal don’t take it to heart if you hear something along the lines of “if you do this, I’ll kill myself” (I actually got this from an ex boyfriend), and yes it is rather hurtful of them to say something of the sort, remember what a hard time they are going through at the moment, it’s not your fault (unless you’re a bully or something in which case stop being a dick) it’s mental illness speaking, they need help, not anger.

Todostrieb

It really does get better

Here at homojournal we like a laugh. We muck around, drink more vodka than seems healthy and make the mistakes that lots of other teenagers do. But, we have a serious side. We care about the world and our readers. So, without further ado I begin this week’s more serious topic of suicide. In honour of the suicide prevention week happening right now.

Contrary to popular belief the Golden Gate Bridge is the second most popular suicide destination of all time. Most of us cannot imagine standing 67 metres above the water and then jumping. Hell, most of us wouldn’t jump ten. They say it’s like the 200 people who tried jumping to safety from the twin towers. The people watching couldn’t believe what they were seeing, that these people thought jumping from that height might be the better way out. But, we couldn’t feel the fire on their heels, we can’t possible understand what they were thinking in their last moments. Suicide is like that. Until you are the one standing at the edge with the flames at your back, you can only understand it in the abstract way we understand all mental health.

No-one is safe from suicide. Eminem, Diana of Wales and Halley Berry all attempted (unsuccessfully) to take their own lives. If the worlds brightest and best can feel that way, it’s no surprise that some teens in our situations feel like it’s a viable option. All minorities are statistically more prone to bullying, depression and feelings of isolation. LGBT’s are no exception to this rule. An alarming number of young people from our community committed suicide last year. And, this is something that needs to stop.

So, here’s a little advice for our readers-

Fuck them all.

Anyone who has ever looked down on you, bullied you, or broken your heart will live to regret the day they did.

Live your life. Live it so well that everyone will look to you. Change lives for the better. Be the change that should have come a long time ago.

There are many projects that can give advice and information regarding LGBT teen suicides. For example the make it stop campaign, if you want help or are interested.

There are numbers you can call if you want a chat (google my friends). Or, of course give Homojournalists an email, or a homojournalist of your choice.

Here’s a little song by Rise Against for the ‘it gets better’ project. Which I love in it’s own right, and because of the message behind it.

Remember lovers, it does get better

Mel