I'm noticing a pattern here...

This is another post that's coming to you from the past - or rather, this is another busy Friday. Yes, it's results day today (when you read this, obviously), and we're all panicking and having heart attacks and getting drunk as a result. Not me. When this post goes out, I'll be on my way back to school for the technical rehearsal of our school production of Oliver! - I'm in the pit this year, and the musicians are, as always, the people who get it all right consistently. But no hard feelings, eh, they're only actors...

So how does this work then? Any sane person wouldn't put themselves through the torment of going willingly to school on results day, how could anybody ever concentrate?! I don't know. I don't even know where this post is going, I think my five minutes are nearly finished. So I shall promptly change the subject to that of not knowing what to change the subject to.

I hate it when I can't think of a decent topic to switch to; I usually pick the weather and then there's always a really awkward pause in life. Nine times out of ten, we end up back on the original topic. I won't let that happen, because it'll kill me, so before I do, I shall bid ye farewell.

PS: I should point out that after last week's prom, I can confirm that the man of my dreams was not there, and I was not whisked off into the sunset by him.

Franceeeeeeeee!!

Ok, so this week, as you know, we're doing the five minute thing, which sounds fun, but I've done that spammy thing I always do, and started the timer before I even decided upon something to say... dammit.


So, I shall answer the questions I found on yahoo...


1. The name of your first same sex crush?
Ahaha, no. I don't want to say, people know her.. it starts with a N tho :/


2. The name of your last or current girlfriend/boyfriend?
As you all know, Mel.


3. Who's your celebrity crush? 
Ellen Page <3

>.<!!!!!!!!!

4. Gayest thing you ever said?
....


5. ( Like to be called ) Gay, lesbian, bi, bi-curious, or straight? 
None of them. I like "queer" better, because I always change my mind. But gay is ok if I must be called one of them ¬¬


6. Do you kiss and tell?
No, I don't like sharing

Urgh, my time is up, and I fear this has been quite boring, but it was the only lgbt quiz that I could find under pressure... So I am sorry.


Eli x

The Universe is Pear Shaped

Imagine you are standing at time infinity, the end of the universe. Hypothetically, if you could see the whole of space time, right from the beginning (and we know it had a beginning otherwise there would be thermal equilibrium) what would you see?

A giant pear shaped blob of stars and galaxies and supernovae and supermassive black holes, probably shining bright enough that you can’t even see it without burning out your eyeballs a la a true angelic form.

omnomnomnom

The big bang theory, supported by cosmic background radiation, begins with a point of singularity. A tiny point, so small you wouldn’t even be able to see it, even if you existed, of infinite mass and density. It then expands, and keeps expanding, at a faster and faster rate (which can only be explained by dark matter), and then what? You get a space time cone approaching an infinite radius? Nope. It curves back in on itself, big masses curve space time, think about a sheet you drop a pear on to, it bends around. The whole incomprehensible mush of space time converges back in on itself.

I want to clarify I do not like pears very much.

Todostrieb

Mel's Five Minutes of Fame

So five minutes to speak about whatever I want. People have underestimated my typing speed. Underestimated massively.

I thought I might take this opportunity to speak about my holiday. Think of this as a postcard to all our readers- wish you were here, and all that jazz. Some of us homo journalists (four out of six) have taken our better halves (Eli and I haven't quite decided which is the better half yet) to Cannes. This has led to some very sickly sweet coupley moments. Oh sorry did I say sweet? I meant nerdy....A wild Miu has appeared...Todostrieb uses charm....Mel is confused etc etc...Other activities include getting sunburnt, eating tuna and painting the fingernails of Miu's latest conquest. 


It also led to the debate: are we lesbians or are we mermaids? I think we're mermaids, Eli thinks we're lesbians. Although granted, I may fail as a mermaid on account of lack of tail, and I may fail as a lesbian on account of the fact I have been known from time to time to like penis. 

Worryingly there is actually some resemblance to  me and Eli...

Now, by the "mermaid - lesbian debate" what I am really referring to, in a very smart (read "completely unrelated") way, is the attitude to LGBTQ worldwide. Eli and I have had no problems here (the south of France) so far....though probably because people think we're mermaids not lesbians...But, it makes me wonder how things would have been different if I had been born elsewhere. If I had been catholic instead of C of E, what then? If I had been male instead of female, black instead of white, would I still be myself? Would I have been allowed to be myself?


So there we go, five minutes of rambling, about philosophy and pokemon nerdiness with some vague references to what this blog is actually about!


Lots of Love
Mel, not quite lesbian, not quite mermaid but amazing anyway.


PS// Is'nt it worrying how this looks pretty much the same as a post that takes an hour to write? I must spend a lot more time actually thinking normally. 

Oh God, the pressure!

Hellothisweekisfiveminuteblogweekwehavetoblogwhateverwewantinonlyfiveminutesandohgodit'salreadybeenfifteensecondsohmygodnoI'mgonnarunoutoftimeohhelpand-

It's worrying how often this image is appropriate for the situations I'm put in.

Ok, so, yes, due to the fact that 4/6 of the Homojournalists have buggered off to France (thank you, Rory, for being so loyal), we're having a mini-post week, hereby named the "5 Minute Post Week", because it's so hurried it's only just been named, as in right as I typed that, boom.

We have 5 minutes to blog about anything we like, from the state of the Euro to our favourite Loony Toon cartoon, and the posts will likely have nothing to do with each other, and may even contradict.

Kind of like a normal conversation with us, really.

Pictured: a normal Homojournal chat.

Anyway, I'm literally timing myself, and I'm down to 00:17 left, so here's my topic:

Cats.

Cats are good.

Time up.

Yours hurriedly,

James.

YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WRITE A SECRET MESSAGE?!?!?!