Shiny and New

Are you a virgin? There is no correct answer to this question. In fact your best bet is to skirt around the topic with a vague and suitably charming witty comment. Under no circumstances should you bright red, giggle, or answer too quickly. Under no circumstances should you mumble half heartedly “Uh....kind of”. Such statements will lead to in depth questioning of how you can kind of be a virgin. Those of you who have read our James’ post will know that these vague half virginities are very possible in the queer community. Probably even more so for female than male, as it could be said that there is no penetration in lesbian sex without a strap on....Personally I reckon lesbian sex is all about the intent and orgasm...a casual grope does not a good fucking make. But, each to their own.

So having got that serious bit out of the way, I will now proceed to the main....meat....of my post. Which, seems to be rambling about whatever popped into my head after the topic virginity was announced. First a short story some of you may recognise:

I made it through the wilderness, somehow I made it through. I didn’t know how lost I was until I found you. I was beat, incomplete, I’d been had, I was sad and blue. But, you made me feel, you made me feel shiny and new. Like a virgin touched for the very first time.

This video is an accurate portrait of what I look like at the end of a 15 hour shift. 

The next thought that popped into my head is of the second most well known virgin story of all time. Mary of Nazareth. (The first most famous is the Miley Cyrus virginity story....she claims sex is magical and healing. Inspiring words Miley, inspiring). Anyway I thought while we were speaking about virginity I’d speak about its evolution. Our holy mother sits nicely in the downturn of virginity, think of it as a recession in sexual liberty. We began our days as liberal caveman, rutting against each other on cold stone floors. Soon we had priestesses whose entire careers were sex related. Women were free to fuck whoever (or whatever) they wanted, in the name of the fertility gods, who would restore barren lands and wombs alike. Then came the economic downturn as it were...the advent of sexual disease lead to a ban on promiscuity. Suddenly virgin equalled pure, and sex before marriage equalled a death sentence. I like to think we’re getting ourselves into a balance between the caveman and the bible these days.

I apologise for the rambling. I have been getting about four hours sleep a day for the last two weeks, and working nearly 15 hours a night. Remember kids....sex is sex not rocket science. But, you only pop your cherry once- so make it count, and always use protection. The virgin birth story just isn’t cutting it any-more.

Thanks for reading pumpkins,

Mel Princess of Flesh and Blood