We need to talk about PDA.. or maybe not

Throughout this week, I have been pestering random people about their opinions on PDA. The most frequent answer I got was "What, them gadgety thingies?". To most, PDA = personal digital assistants...
People don't really care about public displays of affection. Or maybe, that's just an unused term in England. Once I explain to the said people, the common answer was "Why should you care about what other people think? If I want to kiss my gf/bf, I will".

Opportunistic PDA >.< 'T'is like the only times me and Rafaello are the same height......  

I'm not too keen on PDA. My slight aversion to PDA stems from the modest asian mixed with my conservative grandmother's teachings, and my bitter periods of single-ness, in which the mere sight of couples, casually PDA-ing brought out the lime-jello monster in me. I'd see couples EVERYWHERE. I used to stare daggers. That habit has stuck.

Although, currently I am happy, I don't see couples much at all.  (jesus, I'm beginning to sound like a crazy person.. "I see PDA...... all the time") . The only couples that have come to my attention are those that go over-the-top, and are in the way.

Last week, on the tube, this something like this happened... and they blocked the door I was supposed to leave through :'(

So, YAY for PDA, but keep it PG, don't go over the top and make people awkward. As for lgbt PDA, I don't mind it. I like lgbt PDA, I find it cute, and it's spreading awareness. Why should you be ashamed, just because you're lgbt? (gee, perhaps I'm a hypocrite?). When me and Mel dated, I suppose we must have made some people awkward e.g. our deputy-head of sixth form college... urk. I never had any bad experiences with LGBT PDA, however, there are still communities out there, who react negatively to shows of homosexuality. If you do feel like PDA is putting you in any kind of danger, it's probably best to keep it private. Holding hands is not worth getting beat up over... or is it? 

In April 2011, there was a protest at a pub in Soho that kicked out a gay couple for "obscene kissing"...

read guardian article

Damn, I think I rambled again. 
Hopefully, I made some sense.. somewhere. 
Till next time,

Eli

DrUnk PoST wEEk

Describe each of the homojournal writers in a few sentences. 

Eli (me) - The short one. Brown Hair, dark eyes. Bah.

Rory - He the brilliant, organised daddy of the group 

James - He's a fragile looking thing, but he bites.. 

Todostrieb - She's my mutti, ever-changing hair, stands on her tiptoes, has boobs. 

Miu - big eyes, has a self-proclaimed nice arse, she's like a beautiful china doll, but she's evvvilll :D

Mel - doctor mel, blond but not in the stereo-typical way, short

Becky - I don't know. She's purdy in the pics (via facebook stalking), but think perhaps we need to have a welcome-becky picnic :D

Say which LGBT issue you feel most strongly about and why

I don't like the fact that it's still considered abnormal, and people aren't so out and open about it. Why? - because I'm not comfortable being out out to my family... 


Would you rather have a horse the size of a rabbit, or a rabbit the size of a horse- explain your reasoning in no less than 200 words.

A giant rabbit. The rabbit the size of a horse would be awesome. You could ride it. It's be like a cute hippo thingy, until it bites your face off.... 

Think about it: having a horse the size of rabbit would be cute in a barbie-horse-y way.. .think of it's ikkle hoooooves!! But you can't ride it. Rideable rabbit wins. 


Summarise the entire world LGBT history in no more than 200 words (ie what you think everyone... absolutely everyone should be told)

God created adam and eve... then there was Steve... Socrates and the ancient greeks had something with their younger boys... (apparently) Tribes in Papa New Guinea have (had) a ritual were young men are to give BJs to their village elders, to drink in their "wisdom"... Also, in the west, homosexuality was illegal (jail and doom-gloom), stuff happened, then it was legalised, then aids..And now we have GAY-PRIDE... and some countries allow gay-marriage..... but still there are countries where it's illegal (think death-penalty) due to religious pushes.. :'(

Oh, and there is an island off of greece full of lesbians... Although that's nothing compared to the yearly DIANA-SHORE gathering... :D

Embarrassing confession
When I was younger I poured water onto someone's mattress to make it seem like they wet the bed... I ended up getting caught, and mutti made me sit there with a hair-dryer for two hours.. :')


Your weirdest dream

I don't have weird dreams... well, maybe the ver vivid rape dream was weird... or the dream where I was sowing together eggs, bunnies and clouds....because they were made of the same substance >.<


Happiest moment you can think of (first thing that pops in your mind, no cheating! But fairly serious, don't you dare say stuff "eating a chocolate bar")

CHEESE BURGERS... 

Would you rather kill someone you love to end a war in a foreign country, or kill someone you hate and thereby start one?

I don't like this question... I'd choose "kill someone you hate.. blah blah", but I don't think you should kill someone for any other means other to kill them. It's silly otherwise.. why do we have to have ulterior motives?

If you could go back and change something about your life what would it be?
I wouldn't change anything.. I like how things have turned out... WHAT IF I COME BACK TO TH PRESENT AND WE HAVE FLYING COWS??? 
oh Goddy, imagine milking it... 

If you were stuck on a deserted island which one book, movie and person would you want to take along?

I'd probably take Catch-22, I haven't read it yet.. I was going to say The Bible or The Koran, but I'd probs regret that... I've never managed to get past the first couple of pages.. plus, I'd feel guilty if I had to burn it for fire-wood. 

Movie. Why would you take a movie? which desert island has cinema system? *sighs* 

I'd take Inception. It's hard to understand, and there's Ellen Page in it :D 

Person?  My bestfriend-turned-boyfriend :D

Who, other than your significant other, would we have to give you for sexy-times to get you to give us all your money?

urmmmmmmm.... Ellen Page....

Since I don't have to answer this question and everybody else does, who would you rather 'have'/'do'/etc - Justin Bieber or One Direction?

As tempting as JB is, with all of his lesbian-ish features, he seems a bit jerky. One Direction, as theres more of them >.< tho, Just Harry will do... noms :D 

Biggest regret/worst thing you've done whilst drunk

Heres's a transcript of the James-eli drunkenness recording:

eli: no.1; yourself

James: it hasn't started yet

eli: it has

James: BOO.. it has.. me…. well, evidently I don't trust technology…. *laughs* I genuinely think I am better than the other homojournalists, I'm wrong. *laughs*

James: I like alcohol, I genuinely end up in the worst relationships known to man.. yea… thats a good decision eli, more vodka!

eli: yea, more vodka rasberries?

James: I think your phone has switched itself off… 

eli: it hasn't, it's still recording

James: dammit

eli: Rory?

James:Rory… I *sighs* didn't really *sighs* - why are you offering me alcohol that still has the stalk on it? 

eli: *laughs* yea

James: - totally healthy - it has green on it - 

eli: - it's one of our 5-a-days'

James: *laughs*

eli: Rory?

James: I barely knew rory in lower sixth

eli: mmhmm

James: -and then in lower sixth all of a sudden homojournal happened.. then.. Whhhatttt? -He's brilliant. He needs to be less up-himself.. . but still.. 

eli: he's brilliant

James: he IS brilliant

eli: he's the… *laughs* I was going to say "he's the daddy".. 

James: *laughing* He's the daddy-o… Yea, he's kinda the Dad of Homojournal.. not THE leader, which we don't have a leader, because we're.. a group… but.. he's good… 

........

This was too much like homework :")
eli x

Journalists: stop ruining my fantasies

 "LGBTQS celebs, is it really our business?"

Yeash, for the most part, we think it's our business. Celebs are on our tele, in out movies, or newspapers... and on our bedroom walls, some of us spend more time looking at their gorious (?) faces than we spend time with our own mothers. But it is one sided, and reading their gossip makes us feel like we are involved in their lives, that we're getting to know them....

But as much as I like the gossip, I am against it for a number of reasons.. Firstly, the effects it has to the celeb's lives...

"Ellen Page has been forced to turn to the LAPD for help after two Twitter users began threatening to KILL her over the social networking site…and once, even by phone" 

and Secondly,  it kinda ruins it for me to know..


Take for example Justin Bieber.. (urgh, I knows, but it was the only person I could think of at short notice). Apon looking at his picture, one may think "Noms, a baby-dyke"..

Then you find out....

N'aw, a cute lesbian couple.. 

And then..

Wait.. What... He' male?

*sighs* Fantasies ruined. 

byes for now, 

eli x

ps: I think JB and selena have broken up.. not sure.. not that it matters... *shift eyes* 

.......................

Ellen Page story source

Mr Potter, Our New Celebrity

Tell me what would I get if I added powdered root of asphodel to an infusion of wormwood?

If you know the answer to that off the top of you head, stop reading now, turn off your computer and get a life. Here's a short clip for you, because there is absolutely nothing that is not sexy about Pf. Snape / Alan Rickman.

Anyway, our topic of the week is gay celebrities. In a strange twist of fate none of the actors in the Harry Potter films are openly gay (none that showed up in a google search anyway). Is this because of discrimination in the acting world? Maybe. Is this because actors are the best at hiding their sexuality with their mysterious wiles and ability to lie with their entire bodies? Maybe. Is it because roughly 10 % of the population are gay and there's only about 20 actors the average person can name in the film series? Most likely. I'd bet my money on some of the smaller roles being filled by our fellow LGBTs.

I did uncover some interesting rumours about Daniel Radcliffe's sexuality though. I always knew Harry and Draco were destined to be together. If only the slash pairings that existed online also existed in real life.

This brings me onto my main point.

Ben Whishaw is of course, the main point of life.

There’s a lively and ongoing internet debate about whether Whishaw is gay. The general supposition is that he is – based mainly on the fact that he gave an interview to the gay magazine Out not long ago. Whishaw, himself, though, isn’t saying anything.-The Telegraph

I don't see how I can be frustrated about his lack of public speeches regarding his sexuality (as I've managed to convince half the people I know I'm gay, a quarter that I'm straight, and a quarter that I'm bisexual) but somehow I am.

In his interview with OUT magazine (homojournalists may enjoy the website, which has interviews and ideas for venturing out of the house etc) he speaks about the importance of gay role models for young people. He goes on to speak about sexuality being a transitional thing, that he felt he was in the middle of at the moment. I promptly felt guilty for pushing him to chose a team...even though I have never contacted him in any way. Standing outside his house admiring his new curtains doesn't count as contact does it?

Anyway it occurred to me that all the stress we feel when coming out, is magnified hundreds of times if your famous. There's increased pressure to be a role model (so no stumbling drunk out of G-A-Y in the early hours of Saturday morning), and you don't just have to deal with the reactions of those close to you but also those on the other side of the world. Maybe actors as a breed are also more into self exploration etc? If you spend all day pretending to be somebody else, perhaps it takes a little longer to work out who you really are.

So in conclusion I will with great reluctance leave Ben Whishaw to his own devices. (OK I'll admit to the occasional google). But, if he and Daniel Craig were to get married, I would die of happiness. They may in addition to being one of my OTPs as Bond/Q also have made it to my list of real life OTPs as Whishaw/Craig.

I just want to eat him? Is that so wrong?

Lots of Love Mel

Ps// No post script today

Anyone Hiring?

Bonjour Homo-journal-ers, 'tis good to be back.

 I have to admit, last september I thought our blog had died and gone to bloggy heaven. Hopefully, this year, we won't all burn out… 

Thus, resolution numero uno: I will blog every week. *stares at everyone else* this is your resolution too.. 

But don't worry, if you forget - my resolution number 2: I will help harass other homojournalists into blogging every week….

Those who post on time shall be rewarded

For the most part, I don't usually do new year's resolutions, because.. 

1) I never manage to keep them

2) I seem to forget them within a couple of days

3) Having a resolution has a negative effect (e.g. I will give up chocolate… fuelled a giant chocolate binge last year)

And lastly, 

4) I can never think of any good ones.. 

...like I need it to be a resolution...

I asked around this year. A lot of people suggested "Why don't you make it your resolution not to have a resolution?" - I do that often.. 

My mother, when asked told me "You've got to get a job.". Urk. 

I quit my job at the local Green Grocers a couple of weeks ago, and since then.. I've been lazy. Hey, it's been the holidays, you can't blame me. 

But yes.. from the new year, 

I shall try to not be. I shall look for another job. 

eli x


ah, and before I forget...

Top Tips for meeting guys and girls..

This week's topic is.. again, harder than I thought it would be.. It's not as tho I am sitting here surrounded by my harem of hundreds of girls. I am alone.

You'd probably get better advice asking this guy.

Advice no.1: Check around you
If you're at school, college, uni, or work, there might be someone around you who has possibilities.. Maybe there's a gay-straight alliance or a lgbt society?

If there isn't (have you really looked hard enough?) the only two tips I could think of at the moment was:

Advice no.2: Get yourself out there

Join a club, a community, anything that will get you meeting new people, and increase your possibilities. It'll be great, because the people you meet will have the same sorts of interests as you... unless you join a club that you're not interested in... Also: you won't magically meet new girls/guys if you lay in bed all day wondering why you haven't met anyone yet. 

If all else fails, try online!

There are hundreds of online dating websites, for example: Gaydar, Gaydar Girls, Pink sofa... In which you can write up a personal profile, and browse other people's profiles to see if you find anyone you like (see websites for more details on how they work). There are also social network websites, such as: Facebook, Tumblr, Gaiaonline, youtube, in which you can get talking to people casually and get to know them... and maybe have it lead to more :D 

For the most part, if you want to meet people, you have to be somewhat active. If you don't want to be active, you shouldn't be moping about not meeting people. *rants*

anyhoo, hopefully I can be more helpful next week,

eli x

ps, no matter what, whether it be sex, buying popcorn, or talking to people online, always remember to be safe :D

Illegal outside-sex fun

I have to say, like James, I'm overjoyed that for once I get to write about a theme that I came up with, and voted for. However, I'm stuck for what to say again, it's another one of them awkward topics that you'd do fine taking to your best friend or diary about, but to write something for the interwebs where it's out for anyone to read... GAh 

So, Cottaging, Dogging and Cruising. Do I need to state definitions? From off the top of my head:

• Dogging - Having sex inside a parked car, usually in a park car-park, with people watching through the windows
• Cottaging - having sex with someone in a pubic toilet
• Cruising -Having sex with a stranger (that you've met in the woods?)

Because googling "gay toilet sex" wasn't as productive as I hoped

I've heard that during the times when being gay was illegal, it was very common for gay people in hiding to engage in cottaging and cruising with strangers in "hotspots", because it wasn't safe for people to have same-sex relationships. They just settled their urges and go about their day, no names exchanged, it was too dangerous. They even had plain-clothed police hanging around some bathrooms to catch the wrong-doers in the act. 

In modern times, all three acts are still common, many-a-times I come across used condoms whilst walking through the woods. It seems that the woods near mine and James' house is somewhat of a hotspot, we call it "the dogging woods", we've been walkies there before together. When a friend moves in nearby, you have to introduce to them all the parks and woods nearby, it's one of the rules. It has a lovely car-park set quite away from roads unlike most parks, which makes it more private and perfect. You have to drive down a little drive-way to get to the car-park, which means that if a police van turns up, a lookout can quickly warn everyone in the act, so you could all get your clothes on in time. "....we're just here to watch the stars Officer...". Gee, I'm sounding like I'm advertising the woods to you all, but really, the worst thing is getting caught.. 

Make sure you have a cover-story :D

Yes, (as if you didn't want to know) you can get arrested if the police find you sexing it up in the woods or the loo, or in the kiddie-park; whether you're doing it same-sexed or different-sexed or multi-sexed. I think they call it "public indecency", as though anyone walking through the woods at that time of night don't expect to see live-porn. The special volunteer police in Essex actually go through the woods with torches trying to catch people in the act. As my mother always says "why can't they just leave the poor buggers alone, they've gone somewhere hidden, they're not hurting anyone..", I agree, the police are no fun :'D 

It has to be on everyone's bucket list :O

For the most part, I don't have anything against dogging, cottaging, cruising and outside sex. I probably wouldn't do cottaging, I'm not too keen on public loos, the others I won't knock. Outside sex is fun if you dig that sort of thing, don't knock it till you try it, as they say... but probs best to be tried on private property. The last thing you want is to have the beach-security people coming up to you to say that people in the hotels next to the beach could see everything you did, and could've easily video-taped you. Worse is if you can't understand French, and they're communicating to you with very loud French and hand-gestures. hehe.......

Time for me to go to bed, 

so NaNight, 

eli x

Also, I must add, I typed this with a half-peeled banana in my mouth, because it's hard to type and eat at the same time. I thought it'll be a good snack when I started, but I was wrong ¬¬

ps, feel free to correct some of my info, I've only got them off the top of my head, from documentaries that I've watched too long ago to be able to recall the names, let alone what happened in them.. We welcome comments, tweets, and emails  >.<

pps, Sorry for my frequent absence, am still in Japan, it's hard to take time to open my laptop. 

Virginity.......

As the title suggests, this week's theme is "virginity". For something so simple, why does it have to be so damn hard to write about? This is my fifth attempt...

WHYYYYY????

Virginity is personal. The majority think that virginity is lost with penis-in-virgina-penetration, with the extreme choosing to "save themselves" by only having anal sex. But that makes it confusing for the homosexual members of our communities.

Are lesbians forever virgins, if they choose never to have sex with men? 

I remember a few weeks back the YouTube collab "lesbiancentral" (or was it lgbteens?) defined lesbian sex as "penetration" with anything.. But you could see in the comments that not all viewers agreed.

If virginity doesn't mean much to you, it doesn't really matter what the definition is. You'll remember your first sexual acts anyway. But if you're "saving yourself" or put importance on virginity, you might want to sit down and think what you consider to be crossing the innocence line.

Losing your innocence is a personal matter, what happens to you, and what you feel is unique and personal, you don't have the whole world watching you and experiencing it with you, so don't listen to everyone else's definition of virginity. If you think you've crossed that line, so be it.

Of course, I am perfectly innocent ;)

Lastly, it's no-one else's decision but yours whether to "pop your cherry" (don't worry, I won't start ranting about how not having an intact hymen isn't a proper way to determine whether you've lost your virginity, and that you can break your hymen doing all kinds of normal things like gymnastics, and how some people are born without intact hymens...), so don't let anyone push you into it.

If you're feeling pressured, it's probably best not to go through with it. No, they will not love you more for it, you'll just end up feeling cheap and full of regret :D It also works the other way round, don't push anyone into doing things they aren't ready for. Listen when they say no..

Soooo lastly, for the last time, if you "feel you're ready", you're both willing (/it doesn't compromise either of your beliefs) and over the age of consent, why not?

Nom nom nom nom.. 

Eli x

Ps, feel free to leave comment, or email us if you wish >.<

pps,  ok I lied. That wasn't the last "lastly". I just thought of something else. This is a video I watched yesterday:

It's kinda relevant, the boy (you wouldn't really say "man"..right?) on the left, had his mum walk in on him whilst  things where getting frisky with his boyfriend in the living room.. He wasn't "out" yet..

The great thing about being gay/ having a same-sex partner, is that if you're not "out" yet, you can have sleep-overs and things without your parents really suspecting anything, or thinking too much into it. However, it makes it more awkward when they accidentally walk in..

Learn from the video, make sure you're not being silly and performing naked sexual acts in public (unless it's that kind of occasion), if you don't want anyone walking in on you, make sure you have a lock, or that no-one's home, or something to duck behind if someone does walk in. It sucks to be interrupted.

We'll just hide behind the duck, she won't guess what we've been doing..

And if you're not out to your parents, be especially careful when doing things at home.

Fin!

---------------

references/ sources:
life through my eyes blog
Anarkitty blog
yet-again-learning-to-say-no
lesbian-central
lgbteens
Hull University lgbt youtube channel
that there is good looking
naked men paper picture

Shiny and New

Are you a virgin? There is no correct answer to this question. In fact your best bet is to skirt around the topic with a vague and suitably charming witty comment. Under no circumstances should you bright red, giggle, or answer too quickly. Under no circumstances should you mumble half heartedly “Uh....kind of”. Such statements will lead to in depth questioning of how you can kind of be a virgin. Those of you who have read our James’ post will know that these vague half virginities are very possible in the queer community. Probably even more so for female than male, as it could be said that there is no penetration in lesbian sex without a strap on....Personally I reckon lesbian sex is all about the intent and orgasm...a casual grope does not a good fucking make. But, each to their own.

So having got that serious bit out of the way, I will now proceed to the main....meat....of my post. Which, seems to be rambling about whatever popped into my head after the topic virginity was announced. First a short story some of you may recognise:

I made it through the wilderness, somehow I made it through. I didn’t know how lost I was until I found you. I was beat, incomplete, I’d been had, I was sad and blue. But, you made me feel, you made me feel shiny and new. Like a virgin touched for the very first time.

This video is an accurate portrait of what I look like at the end of a 15 hour shift. 

The next thought that popped into my head is of the second most well known virgin story of all time. Mary of Nazareth. (The first most famous is the Miley Cyrus virginity story....she claims sex is magical and healing. Inspiring words Miley, inspiring). Anyway I thought while we were speaking about virginity I’d speak about its evolution. Our holy mother sits nicely in the downturn of virginity, think of it as a recession in sexual liberty. We began our days as liberal caveman, rutting against each other on cold stone floors. Soon we had priestesses whose entire careers were sex related. Women were free to fuck whoever (or whatever) they wanted, in the name of the fertility gods, who would restore barren lands and wombs alike. Then came the economic downturn as it were...the advent of sexual disease lead to a ban on promiscuity. Suddenly virgin equalled pure, and sex before marriage equalled a death sentence. I like to think we’re getting ourselves into a balance between the caveman and the bible these days.

I apologise for the rambling. I have been getting about four hours sleep a day for the last two weeks, and working nearly 15 hours a night. Remember kids....sex is sex not rocket science. But, you only pop your cherry once- so make it count, and always use protection. The virgin birth story just isn’t cutting it any-more.

Thanks for reading pumpkins,

Mel Princess of Flesh and Blood

"If I was your boyfriend..."

Hello from japan. I heard that this week's theme is "find rory a boyfriend". If I am wrong, forgive me. It's hard to be sure without the internet.
In the car today, this song came on in the radio:


                                   It seemed perfect, considering this week's theme.

Here's a brief factfile:

Name: Justin Drew Bieber
-Birth date: March 1, 1994
-Birth place: Stratford, Ontario, Canada
-Eye Color: Brown
-Hair Color: Brown
-Height: 5’3 ½ and growing!
-Parents: Pattie (mom)
-Siblings: sister, Jazmyn
-Pets: One dog (Sammy)
-Super Power Wish: To fly
-Favorite Candy: Sour Patch Kids
-Hidden talent: “I can solve a Rubik’s cube in less than a minute.”
-Nicest gift he’s ever given: “I took my mom on a vacation to Florida.”
-Favorite time of day: Night
-Favorite TV show: Smallville
-Celebrity crush: Beyoncé
-Favorite brand of shoes: Supra
-Favorite brand of toothpaste: Colgate
-Most special fan gift: A set of dog tags.

Why I think he would be a good boyfriend?
a) he explained in his song
b) from looking at who you fancied in the past, I noticed some carracteristics they had in common: musical, shorter than you, slim, slightly foreign... You must agree, he fits in perfectly with that crowd!
c) He's musical,and he'd be able to wake you up with a love-song.
d) he has money and a good career, which is a plus, you must agree:D

However, there's two downsides to him:
a) he's constantly working!
b) You'd have to fight off the fangirls, including Selena (and think of the death-threats you'd recieve!!)

Vote Bieber for your boyfriend, you know you secretly want him to call  you "Baby".

eli x

ps, sorry.. it was all I could think of... :( the Japanese sun has burned out my brains...
pps, feel free to leave a comment and email. I'm away, and won't be able to message back, but I'm sure one of my loyal subjects will be happy to reply for me :D

Ps- I think this post should be renamed 'Lustin' for Justin'- Mel

Mel's Five Minutes of Fame

So five minutes to speak about whatever I want. People have underestimated my typing speed. Underestimated massively.

I thought I might take this opportunity to speak about my holiday. Think of this as a postcard to all our readers- wish you were here, and all that jazz. Some of us homo journalists (four out of six) have taken our better halves (Eli and I haven't quite decided which is the better half yet) to Cannes. This has led to some very sickly sweet coupley moments. Oh sorry did I say sweet? I meant nerdy....A wild Miu has appeared...Todostrieb uses charm....Mel is confused etc etc...Other activities include getting sunburnt, eating tuna and painting the fingernails of Miu's latest conquest. 


It also led to the debate: are we lesbians or are we mermaids? I think we're mermaids, Eli thinks we're lesbians. Although granted, I may fail as a mermaid on account of lack of tail, and I may fail as a lesbian on account of the fact I have been known from time to time to like penis. 

Worryingly there is actually some resemblance to  me and Eli...

Now, by the "mermaid - lesbian debate" what I am really referring to, in a very smart (read "completely unrelated") way, is the attitude to LGBTQ worldwide. Eli and I have had no problems here (the south of France) so far....though probably because people think we're mermaids not lesbians...But, it makes me wonder how things would have been different if I had been born elsewhere. If I had been catholic instead of C of E, what then? If I had been male instead of female, black instead of white, would I still be myself? Would I have been allowed to be myself?


So there we go, five minutes of rambling, about philosophy and pokemon nerdiness with some vague references to what this blog is actually about!


Lots of Love
Mel, not quite lesbian, not quite mermaid but amazing anyway.


PS// Is'nt it worrying how this looks pretty much the same as a post that takes an hour to write? I must spend a lot more time actually thinking normally. 

Our school is holding a leaver's prom

I was never a princess-y type girl, never the type to look at brides and dream of when it'll be my turn to wear the big puffy cloud-thing. I was raised to hate pink and girly things: "you don't like pink.. you hate pink" my mother always used to say, so I've always avoided pink clothes and overly girly things. Besides, barbies were boring, toy cars and fake tools are always better.

Ok, maybe not always...

So from that angle, the prom doesn't excite me. I don't care for the promy dress. If anything, I want to wear a tux, but my grandma has forbid it: "Oh NO, you don't want people thinking you're a dyke". She doesn't know that ship has already sailed..

Can't I just stay home instead?

She was very disappointed when she discovered I didn't have "a boy to escort me to the prom". She told me that she wasn't going to tell Brenda, her neighbour, because then I would have lost to Sharon, Brenda's Grandchild. That's the second reason I don't like prom, it's beginning to make me feel like a show-dog, and not a prize-winning one. We are all being judged, if not by our own grandmother and their nosy neighbours,  by the people in our class and our teachers.

There aren't many guys with long hair these days, can't we go with girls instead?

The prom is one of those big ceremonies, that we've seen on the telly, always the same: a guy asks a girl to the dance, she agrees, he turns up at her doorstep with some flower-thing, and drives her to the prom, at which point slow music comes on, everyone starts to slow-dance and they kiss, have their moment, and sneak off to the football pitch and....

sometimes you wake up on your own the next morning..

But then when you're in a gay or lesbian relationship, it's going to be a tad different. There are four approaches:

• One of you decides to be the "girl" and the other the "guy"
• You both act your own gender, and make it up as you go along..
• Or the same as above, but both acting the opposite gender (think: the lesbians going to the prom in suits stereotype)
• Hide the fact that you're gay, and find someone of the opposite gender to go with

There's also another, separate approach:

Your school has banned you from going.. and it's been in the news quite a bit in america, where a girl was banned from her prom, for trying to bring her girlfriend. She complained, and so they cancelled the prom for everyone. 

But they're SO fucking cute!!

It is just a bit worrying... but oh well... they haven't banned us yet.. So we should be ok, Mel and I ://

love eli xxx

ps, where the fudge is todostrieb??? She seems to be MIA D:

also, comment or email if you wish >.<

Jelly Willies Review

The Ann Summers Food Review continues, and for me, it was the Jelly willies, a rainbow of gummy penises and peni...

Name of the good 4/10

I suppose as a little known brand and good, it may be a hood idea to have a name that states exactly what the good is “Jelly Willies”… 

It wasn't very spreadable :/

However, it is more of a misleading product description than a name, as it is more of a gummy-sweet than what you would imagine Jelly to be. One might even wonder whether it is false advertising, but I will forgive them, because there is gelatine in the sweet.

The definition of Jelly “A sweet, clear, semisolid, somewhat elastic spread or preserve made from fruit juice and sugar boiled to a thick consistency.”

Packaging 3/10

Whose idea was it to put a mutant diseased blob on the front of the box?

It put me off.

Price 7/10

I paid £3.00 for this, and compared to a pack of Haribos costing £1.00(which gives you a far greater quantity of gummy-sweets, and they taste better), I felt a little cheated by this.

However studying business and economics have taught me a few things as to why they can(/may have to) charge a higher price:

1)      The products are differentiated (the jelly-willies are penis shaped), so they don’t have to compete on price.

2)      They are also operating in different markets, Haribos for the sweets and sugar industries we buy them merely to snack and to enjoy the taste, whereas the Jelly-willies operate in the novelty/jokes industry.

3)      Haribos are a much larger company, and produce at a larger scale, so can benefit from economies of scale, so their marginal costs are lower, and so can charge a lower price.

4)      Laws of demand and supply..

So basically, penises are funny, so we buy them.

Looks  8/10

It's not very realistic, but we should give them credit for capturing colour-diversity and the fact that nobody's perfect... just look at all these mutated ones... 

What do you think?

Also, they're cute! I would buy a necklace with them on... 

Taste 6/10

The sweets come in a variety of colors, each with their own flavorings.The taste of the willies was generally ok, however it  wasn’t as great as harribos or fruits pastels. I liked the red strawberry flavoured ones, but hated the orange and the green ones… But that’s also my preferences with fruit pastels, so I won’t deduct points for that.

The main reason for the low score for the taste, is the texture. Frankly, I was disappointed, and quite put off by them. The penises were too soft. They needed to be harder. Please put more gelatine in it next time..

But then perhaps it was done purposefully? On one hand, it may be more pleasant and tasty for the willies to be chewier, or instead be a hard-boiled willy sweets. But maybe people object to having hard penis sweets? I’ve heard of penis shaped lollies, but not boiled sweets… 

Do I see a gap in the market? What do you think guys, should we go for this business opportunity?

Humour 7/10

It was funny at the beginning, asking friends “would you like a penis?” and then flashing my jellied willies, but after a while, the humour of it goes, and I became the sad girl with a box of jellied willies on her nightstand. I still have loads left over, as evident in the pictures date-stamped with today’s date.. (Sorry, I mucked up my camera settings)

Sexiness? 0/10

Food play involving the jellied willies? NO. Just no. I would run. Firstly, there’s a graphic of a green STD penis on the front.

sexyyyyy

Secondly, you’re not supposed to stick sugary stuff “up there”, because you can get a yeast infection. As “cute” as these sweets may appear, they can be nasty.

But Eli, food play isn’t all about sticking food “up there”, you could lick/ eat the penises off each other…

…………..No…………. *shakes head slowly*

Over-all 5/10

Yes, this is a wonderful, brilliant product, for the first few minutes (or seconds) after purchase, or after receiving as a gift. It is funny. 

However after that, the humor and novelty of it quickly runs out. I doubt I'd go and buy it again...

Well, after all that work, I've put into this post, I'm tired now, so I shall go relax with my pot of tea and my leftover willies from the photoshoot. ta ta 

Eli x

ps, We welcome comments and emails and other means of communication... and of course we will happily reply to them eventually :) So.. yus.. email us! 

*feels awkward*

Not Prince Poppycock, but Prince Charles!!

Ah, Prince Charles, eldest son of our great Queen, and our next King-to-be... After hearing his speech, addressed to his mother at the end of the Jubilee Concert, and listening to the delightful way in which he said "Jolly Good", I realised.. our homojournal needs a Prince Charles Collage! So here is is:

Prince Charles in many shades of glory

Yes, I created this monstrosity, and yes, this took forever. I shall have to have it printed, poster-style, and stick it on my wall, as a reward for all the effort... *sighs* The things I do for you...

Some videos 

The Jubilee speech that started this whole post:

Our weather forecast:

How we'd travel to Ann Summers and Harmony:

How to contact him

...for those of you who want to know:

For the Royal Google Maps

According to his website, his official place of residence (along with Margret and his princes') is Clarence house, in London. You can write a letter to the address:

Clarence House, London, SW1A 1BA.

The website also allows you to email/ inquire using the site, but don't expect a personal reply :/

On google maps, there's a telephone number attached to the house description: 020 7766 7303

Who knows? It might work!

Eli x


You know the drill, feel free to email us, and comment, and give us loads and loads and loads of feedback, so we can improve and become better homojournalists :)

How Not to introduce you gay lover to your parents…

Many say that a good, healthy relationship is one where you can be completely open with everyone, and one that you do not need to hide from people. Sure, you may get some kind of kick from hiding it, but for the most part, it will just end up tearing you up inside. You will end up having to hide your emotions around the house and will be unable to seek comfort when things go wrong. You will at some point have to lie to your beloved parents and you could lose their trust, if they ever find out about it all.

<3

But there are cases, when it is important that you do hide it, for example:

• If you are not self-sufficient, and risk being kicked out
• If being found out would put you in any sort of physical danger
• If it could lead to loosing your job (illegal in the UK I think…)

Ways in which you could hide your relationship

•  Lock your phone, password protect everything
• Avoid doodling their name on everything
• Swear that you two are just REALLY REALLLY good friends
• Always deny
• Don’t post about anything concerning your relationship on facebook, or any other social network site
• Delete your internet history
• Limit the amount of people that know. Only tell those you can trust to keep it a secret.
• Don’t show PDA
• Control when you are seen together in public
• Don’t talk about her/him more than you would any other friend
• Make sure your siblings don’t find out
• Keep your sex toys in a locked box.. and the lube.

Useful websites:

How to keep your parents from knowing you have a boyfriend or girlfriend

how to be in a relationship without your parents knowing

How to have a secret relationship

How to keep a boyfriend that your parents don't like

How to hide a girlfriend if your parents don't like her

how to hide a lesbian relationship

Other websites: 

How to have a healthy gay relationship

Information about gay men coming out of heterosexual relationships

Convince your parents to let you marry the girl of your choice

How to introduce your girlfriend to your parents

Taking your (gay) boyfriend home to meet your parents

Forum: How to introduce your boyfriend/girlfriend to your family

Video: how to introduce your (lesbian) girlfriend to your parents

...................................

To me, it appears that if you are in a situation at home, where you would be kicked out and your safety and comfort could be compromised, it may be best not to be in a relationship. I know, you lurrrveee him. But hard as it is to accept, we have to remember that teenage relationships don’t last forever, and you can have all that messing around, when you leave home (perhaps when you go to university), when you can find your own lgbt circle to support you and be there for you, if your parents disown you. Right now it’s too much of a risk. Self-preservation in the short term is the most important. Be patient.

That being said, I haven’t been in that situation. I can’t really judge. So I hope that all the websites I’ve listed are helpful to anyone that really needs it. 


eli x


ps, I have guest-slave in mind that I will hopefully be able to blackmail into writing a post about her cousin's experience... so will try to get that posted in the near future