I miss-spelled celibacy

Rory covered for me yesterday, as I got from Japan late Wednesday, and was still jet lagged yesterday. So Danke Rory >.<

After reading everyone's debate/blame game on the miss spelling of "celibacy", I've come to a horrific conclusion, that it must have been me that spelt it wrong in the theme pool... For that I apologise. But in way, that miss-spelling must reflect my views on celibacy - the subject is so little concern of mine, that I don't even know how to spell the word correctly. I don't think I've ever google it..

Celibacy: a fetish - according to the interwebs

Celibacy, is the act of choosing to not have sex indefinitely. I assume that for the most part, it only applies to those of us that are sexually active, as there must be somewhat of a difference between choosing to remain a virgin, and choosing to be celibate.

I've read accounts in one of my feminist sex ed books, of people who are celibate, but only seem to count sex as penis-to-vagina (sorry for being vulgar, I couldn't think of a better way to put it). The account didn't consider masturbation.

But what about lesbian sex? or gay sex?

I could happily give up heterosexual sex indefinitely, or should I say that I have already, considering right now, I have mel? But I wouldn't consider myself celibate. I probably wouldn't consider myself celibate if I limited my sexual activities to masturbation. To me it seems silly, if you're going to be celibate, why go about it so half-assed, and not go the whole hog going cold-turkey?

Forgive my ignorance, but is there such a thing as true celibacy, not having sex - just because? and WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?

I can understand just sticking to masturbation, if you've been sexually molested and don't like being touched; you don't have anybody to fuck; you have a serious STD; you have a deficiency of some sort; or you've chosen to stay celibate for spiritual reasons. But I consider them all to be somewhat forced celibacy.

I think celibacy must be one of the main reasons why I decided (after much pondering) not to become a nun. Oh, and the fact that I don't believe in God. I'm not against that kind of forced celibacy, and staying celibate because you feel you have to, it somewhat noble of them, but as for me, I am young, and I want my freedom to jump on anyone I fancy jumping on.

The question this week, I've been told, is what would you give up sex for? So here's my list:

• I'd give up heterosexual sex for lesbian sex, and vice-versa, depending on circumstances.
• I'd give up sex for my life, or life of others, if I was told I had to choose between having sex and dying, or not having sex and living.. 
• I'd give up sex if I had an STD or until I was rid of it
• I'd give up sex if my partner wasn't here, and wished me to. Probably.

So, sorry if my views are wrong or offend you in anyway, it's just my ignorant rant, blah, I might have to go read this:

see you next week,

eli x

ps, comment/email if you wish, I'm writing on mel's account, because I'm on her laptop, she's asleep next to me, and I forgot to log out. Bah humbug. 

You WILL read my post about fetishes, or I'll spank you.

Fetishes and paraphilias are everywhere in modern society. You can't go anywhere without seeing the latest all-leather fashion line, or an episode of Criminal Minds detailing a serial killer with an obsession with shoes.

"I must kill until I can find the perfect brogue."

But how many of us can actually say that we have one? As in a full, "bring out the whip and the curried mayonnaise" fetish, that we can't get off without? Because that's the mark of a real "fetish" - you absolutely can't have any kind of "happy ending" without it. So whenever you're having hot, passionate sex with your significant other (because that's all my readers do when they're not reading my posts), and you suddenly think "Hey, I could really get into you wearing a trout costume right now..." just know that it's just you being a little weird, and not a fetish, and that you should probably seek treatment.

Pictured above: not the result of a stable, balanced mind.

But how about the real fetishes? The ones that have practically become necessary to your sexual happiness? Well, I'm glad you asked, Constant Reader, because I'm about to tell you. What's that? You didn't ask? Well, shut up, I'm telling you anyway, it's the bloody theme of the week and everything!

"Let me show you why you're going to do everything I say from now on."

To illustrate the difference between fetishes and normal (or abnormal) experimentation, let's take two men (as I always like to do), "Derek" and "Mark". Let's say that Derek asks his loving partner to dress up as a piece of gouda when in bed, because he feels that it would be exciting and he's a little weird like that. Derek's loving partner, understandably, politely declines.

"You've always loved dairy more than me - we're through."

Derek cuts his losses at this point to avoid being beaten by his loving partner, and they go off to have the usual, wildly passionate sex that my readers are always having. Thus, his demands for cheese-related sexual acts aren't a fetish, because as soon as some resistance was put up he did the normal thing and took whatever he could get.

Mark, however, is a different case altogether. He has a thing for clocks (with an "l"). When he asks his beautiful partner to dress up as a clock, he has to hope that they're in an agreeable mood, because if he has a real, serious fetish for them then if they decline he won't be having any happy times.



The fact that this actually exists makes me question my decision to stay on this planet.

So, as you can see, having a fetish isn't quite as light-hearted and easy an experience as one might think - it requires quite a lot of input. If you have a serious fetish, in the event of your particular fetish being unavailable ("We're sorry, but we can't find the whip you're searching for."), you'll just have to go have a cold shower or something.

Anyway, I'm off to do unspeakable things to Cretzal now, so it's adieu for now, Constant Reader, but feel free to email me at homojournal@gmail.com, and I might respond after I'm done,

James.

I had to Google "clock fetish" on my school account, I'm waiting for the letter saying I have a therapist appointment to arrive.