I may be drunker than I think I am...

I may not be quite as drunk as some of the others while doing this (one glass of wine is fine when your alone, more than yhat is slightyl sad - or at least that is what I'm telling ymself). My aim for this is to answer all of the questions without sappily rrunk tesxting my girfriend (which I havr a tendency to do)

Describe each of the homojournal writers in a few sentences. 

Umm, I've only acually met Mel and she's lovely, the others seem cooll too (based on facebok intera\ctions). I was planning on reading their old posts but forgot and not sure I can pay neough attentiont to thenm right nowf

Say which LGBT issue you feel most strongly about and why

Kindof feel like most of the others by saying equal marriage

Would you rather have a horse the size of a rabbit, or a rabbit the size of a horse- explain your reasoning in no less than 200 words.

I reckon that a rabbit the size of a horse woyuld be cool, althpough that may be because of easter bunny in rise of the guarians...

Summarise the entire world LGBT history in no more than 200 words (ie what you think everyone... absolutely everyone should be told)

my brain has gone kindof blank

Embarrassing confession
I can't think of the last embarrassing thing I did, unless an awkward conversation with my girlfriend counts - there had been a slight miscommunication about her sexual orientation (but not just by me!) but I'd need to drink more wine before I'd repeat tbat

Your weirdest dream

I can't remember the last dream I had, let alone the las\t weircd dream but one of my friends has had multiple dreams where she has killed me - in one she pusdhed me off a bridge and in another she burnt down our school, knowing that I was still inside. I don't know why I am still frineds with her...

Happiest moment you can think of (first thing that pops in your mind, no cheating! But fairly serious, don't you dare say stuff "eating a chocolate bar")

Going to visit my girlfriend at her unin lasts term was really nice, even if we did both wake up boiling hot - she has a reaqlly thick duvet! Good greif, I'm sappy right now

Would you rather kill someone you love to end a war in a foreign country, or kill someone you hate and thereby start one?

I don't know... it would probably depnd on the person... but then agin, would getting to kill a girl from school that I hatee (who is irritatingly at the same uni as me) jsutify a war?

Assign a Pokemon to each Homojournalist, and justify it.

I've never watched/played pokemon and can probably only name about threee...
 

If you could go back and change something about your life what would it be?(I'm not sure if I'm meant to answer this since I wrote it but whatever)

there is a someone that I decided to trust again who I shouldn't have becasue she turned into a bitch. again.

If you were stuck on a deserted island which one book, movie and person would you want to take along?

(ditto with tbhis one) can I jsut take my kindle? that's got enough stuff on it to ladst me a whiel and that counts right?... film I'd probably take goodnight mister tom because I love it to pieces. person, I'd take my girlfriend because despite being tiny, she'd be helpful for survivong in the wild - she has a bpok on poisons

Who, other than your significant other, would we have to give you for sexy-times to get you to give us all your money?

Scarlett Johansson is pretty

Since I don't have to answer this question and everybody else does, who would you rather 'have'/'do'/etc - Justin Bieber or One Direction?

do I really have to do either of them? if it do, probably one direction, but jsut because I know an awesome parofy to what makes you beautiful

Biggest regret/worst thing you've done whilst drunk

I' don't think I've ever done anything that bad whilst drunk (most of my friends from home either don't drink or drink very little so with them I don't drink much either) but I could tyell you multiple embarassing things said to me by the girl I shouldn't have trusted when ew were both drunk (her more than me)

Now I've come to look at this while sober, I'm realising that I completely lose all ability to type without autocorrect when I drink and that the fact that I didn't eat much at dinner probably meant I was drunker than I thought.

I am druuuunk

And I am cold and have confesed all my sins to my boyfriend so that's alright. Here are the questions:

1. Describe each of the homojournal writers in a few sentences. 

Erm, ok...

James - he used to be my best friend and we both screwed lots of things up. He's evil and creepy, one of the weirdest guys ever, always trying to fit in

Mel - she's... clever, though in constantt need to be put down. what can I say, she's submissive and likes to be bitten. she's cool.

Todostrieb - the twin, very lazy and eccentric. you need some time to really get to knoe her. has been enoying herself with a fuckbuddy lol

Eli - cutest and definitely weirdest japanese girl. She's very sweet but obsessed on pickling me and putting me in a jar

Rory - we have our disagreements and he disappointingly looks over our descriptions, but he's alright and a talented musician who writes very good complaint letters

Becky - reall the only one who knows her is Mel but I admire her courage to join us and hope she can stand our weirdness (she can't be that normal if she's friends with Mel)

2. Say which lbgt issue you feel most strongly about and why

why the hell are there any issues!!! grow up people!!

3. Would you rather have a horse the size of a rabbit, or a rabbit the size of a horse- explain your reasoning in no less than 200 words.

A... not sure, neither. A rabbit the size of a horse can b hugely cus=ddly but those teeth very painful, while a horse the size of a rabbit would be cute but useless to ride on

4. Summarize the entire world LGBT history in no more than 200 words (ie what you think everyone... absolutely everyone should be told)

They like sex as much as anyone

5. Embarrassing confession

I'm only with my boyfriend because of the good sex, that's a lie he made me tell. The truth is I am willing to do anything for him, he is the most important thin to me. 

6. Your weirdest dream

I don't really have dreams or remembr them, however one of my recnt dreams did involve Sergei, the meerkat, Sergei the meerkat ghost and a magical neckless.

7. Would you rather kill someone you love to end a war in a foreign country, or kill someone you hate and thereby start one?

I simply can't consider killing anyone

8. Assign a Pokemon to each Homojournalist, and justify it.

Sorry, this requirest straight thinking, i shall deal with it tomorrow, i take pokemon seriously.

9. If you could go back and change something about your life what would it be? 

My mother/family situation or gaining a particular person's trust

10. If you were stuck on a deserted island which one book, movie and person would you want to take along?

Difficult... book God of Small Things like James, a movie i haven't seen and... probs my boyfriend :S

11. Who, other than your significant other, would we have to give you for sexy-times to get you to give us all your money?

Ian Somerhalder

12. Since I don't have to answer this question and everybody else does, who would you rather 'have'/'do'/etc - Justin Bieber or One Direction?

One Direction equals more than one, whooop

My boyfriend has now fallen asleep and i am very tired, night.

Cheap white wine is good for the soul...

Eli, Rory, James and I are all doing this on the same night; it doesn’t count as drinking alone if you’re chatting online with people right? And also am drinking cheap white wine like the classy bitch I am. I wanted to edit this the morning after because I've written some pretty awkward stuff, which you probably don't need to know. Also drunk me seems to have got confused and answered the questions I chose and deleting others. I've referenced someone called Mike quite a lot because I was speaking to him as I wrote this post, he's kind of my fuckbuddy, but more of a friend. 

Describe each of the homojournal writers in a few sentences. This might fail slightly as I can’t really remember everyone’s code name…someone will have the delightful job of editing all these posts I’m sure.

• James- (insert mean comment about him and my ex here), he puked on my carpet and yet I still find it hard to hold a grudge, this is probably deeply indicative of my personality…
• Mel- she’s my twin and she’s frighteningly similar to me, although ovbs I am the prettier one while she is smarter than me.
• Miu- has an ear fetish, she is probs the hottest homojournalist (and I’m sure I’ll regret saying that when sober) but she is also evil.
• Rory, a Doctor Who nerd, and very good at music, he’s a pretty cool guy though, he braved IB HL physics with me :D
• Eli, one of my best friends, slightly odd…but we’re all mad here, and she’s purdy
• Becky…can’t even remember her code name and I don’t even know her that well but from my Facebook stalking she seems pretty cool.         

     Summarize the entire world LGBT history in no more than 200 words (ie what you think everyone... absolutely everyone should be told)
Gay/bi/trans people are just the same as straight people and people have only recently started realising this.

Embarrassing confession
I once made Sim versions of me and boyfriend (now ex) who were married. 

Your weirdest dream
The weirdest dream I’ve ever had was the zombie apocalypse and they hailed me as their queen, also their leader was my five year old sister :’(. And they threw tarot cards at me which stuck in my flesh…

Happiest moment you can think of (first thing that pops in your mind, no cheating! But fairly serious, don't you dare say stuff "eating a chocolate bar")
Not really sure about this one, I’m a lucky bitch and my childhood was pretty great. Passing the IB while on holiday with friends in Cannes was pretty awesome, but the millennium dome and suchlike with my family was cool.

Would you rather kill someone you love to end a war in a foreign country, or kill someone you hate and thereby start one?
Probably kill someone I love, maybe not devil child my little sister, but pretty much anyone else. I try to think about people I don’t personally care about as someone else’s younger sibling/ parent. Def. I would kill Mike to stop a war (sorry).

Assign a Pokemon to each Homojournalist, and justify it.
Honestly, I’m not a huge poke fan, I watched a few episodes of the original anime but only played the game minimally. Mui would probs be a slowpoke because she’s pretty lazy. Eli would probe be mew because she’s cute but also evil. I’ve always imagined James as Q-bone because he’s skinny. Becky…I really don’t know, squirtle? She seems like a water type. Mel, I could see as a bug type, other than that not sure. I have discussed this with Mike and his spirit Pokémon is a Gengar, which is fluffy and purple….

If you could go back and change something about your life what would it be? 
I have no big regrets (even drunk ones). There’s a few people I probably shouldn’t have made out with, but probably the biggest one is that I should have tried harder to take art (my mother told me she’d kick me out if I did). 

If you were stuck on a deserted island which one book, movie and person would you want to take along?
For the book totally Richard Siken’s book of poetry called Crush. I don’t enjoy rereading fiction that much, but often with poetry I’ll find myself thinking this poem describes exactly how I feel so accurately I need to read it NOW. The movie would be Donnie Darko, I’m not a huge movie person but every time I watch it I find something new to think about so it seems a safe bet, And the person would be Mike, because he’s good in bed, seems like he’d be helpful in a survival situation and can’t be that annoying because I’ve never had a proper argument with him.

Who, other than your significant other, would we have to give you for sexy-times to get you to give us all your money?
I have no significant other at the moment so it’s definitely gunna have to be Barack Obama, whom I could Blackmail and regain my fortune. If that’s not an option than def. John Barrowman, who is fucking hot. I would say Mike, but I don’t think I have to pay him to get naked anyways…

Since I don't have to answer this question and everybody else does, who would you rather 'have'/'do'/etc - Justin Bieber or One Direction?
Justin Bieber, I can’t be assed to remember all the names of people in one direction, so why bother? Justin needs to be corrupted anyways.

Biggest regret/worst thing you've done whilst drunk
I am pretty lightweight, so I have disgraced myself while drunk numerous times, involving lots of puke. Although this new years eve house party I went to has to top it all.  I made out with three random people, some of which while holding Mike's hand, and then I continued to rip off my own toenail and no one knows how…

P.s.  I know I related these to Mike, I’m not whipped…just drunk.

Lots of love,Todostrieb.

I swear to drunk officer I'm not God.

********Disclaimer...I was not actually drunk when writing this, though it may seem the case. I was just high on caffeine, exam stress and jelly legs from the gym. Also I'm insane. *********

Describe each of the homojournal writers in a few sentences.
James- Small, fluffy.
Todostrieb- Middle sized, probably sleeping.
Eli- Smallest, also has tiny hands.
Rory- Taller, musically talented.
Miu- Middle sized, has nice hair.
Becky- Tall, has nice eyes.

Say which lbgt issue you feel most strongly about and why.
Probably marriage. Selfishly, because it’s the one most likely to affect me...why shouldn't I be allowed to marry a girl in church?

Would you rather have a horse the size of a rabbit, or a rabbit the size of a horse- explain your reasoning in no less than 200 words.
I would like a rabbit the size of a horse, because he would love me and be a good body guard. Also, it’d be cute. I would like a rabbit the size of a horse, because he would love me and be a good body guard. Also, it’d be cute. I would like a rabbit the size of a horse, because he would love me and be a good body guard. Also, it’d be cute. I would like a rabbit the size of a horse, because he would love me and be a good body guard. Also, it’d be cute....etc

Summarize the entire world LGBT history in no more than 200 words (ie what you think everyone... absolutely everyone should be told).
The LGBT community is the same as any other...because sexuality doesn’t change who you are. Some of us are weird. Some straight people are too. Penis in bumholes is not disgusting, grow up.

Embarrassing confession.
I actually quite like JB.

What is love/ what does love mean to you?
“Love means never having to say you’re sorry.”

Where homosexuality arises from (what makes someone gay).
There’s increasing research to suggest that our sexuality is determined at birth. For example the majority of identical twins share sexuality. (According to my BHS lecture notes). For years we couldn’t explain finger prints, why should sexuality have a great mystery behind it? We’ll know soon enough, so speculation is a waste of time.

Happiest moment you can think of, first thing that pops in your mind, no cheating! But fairly serious, don't you dare say stuff "eating a chocolate bar".
Finishing my first exam this morning...this is the most recent, hence why I thought of it first. But, if you want a good one, holding my baby sister for the first time.

Would you rather kill someone you love to end a war in a foreign country, or kill someone you hate and thereby start one?
I don’t think I could ever kill someone...every possible decision they could have made is just wiped out. Death is like the ultimate restriction of free will.

Assign a Pokemon to each Homojournalist, and justify it.
Almost all my pokemon knowledge is from the first movies and series. So, I’m going to assign Ash’s charizard to be a general homojournal mascot. When he gets his head stuck in the pipe...he pretty much represents all of our awkwardness in one scene. Also, I love him.

If you could go back and change something about your life what would it be?
I WOULD HAVE REVISED MORE FOR THESE JANUARY EXAMS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! STUPID MEL.

If you were stuck on a deserted island which one book, movie and person would you want to take along?
Book, time travellers wife. Movie, V for vendetta (though this seems pointless without a DVD player or indeed, electricity). Person, one of those survival guides on TV who enjoy living on desert islands.

Who, other than your significant other, would we have to give you for sexy-times to get you to give us all your money?
An unlimited supply of anyone I wanted, whenever and however I wanted.

Who would you rather 'have'/'do'/etc - Justin Bieber or One Direction?
Depends on if I had to do all of 1D at the same time really...

Much Love,
Mel xxx

Lost: One toenail

My lovely new year’s resolutions (not quite the same ones I made while drunk):

• Write homojournal every week, on time, also finish the new banner
• Go to the gym (ha)
• Embrace renaissance style catholic hedonism
• Never, ever,  ever, do this to my foot ever again

It will grow back right?

Happy new year,

Todostrieb

We are Southwell and we like drinking...Carpe Noctum etc etc

I’m now in my third day of student life, and so far so good. Fires, unwanted pregnancies and drug overdoses have all been strangely absent so far. Having met the people down the hall, it’s only a matter of time though.

The obvious starting point when speaking about Uni in a homojournal context is the LGBT society....which umm...I haven’t joined yet. Sue me! I haven’t had time to visit the ‘normal’ students freshers fair, I’ve only been to the one for medical nerds. I do have their first ‘queer cafe’ meeting down in my diary though, with a name like that I couldn’t resist. Plus, free cake and lesbians. I’m also looking forward to joining up with the Manchester LGBT’s for a night out later in term (I’m at notts btw).

Humm what else to speak about? Partial nudity seems to be acceptable for all genders, sexualities and BMI’s (sometimes unfortunately so). Dancing with girls (if you’re a girl) and guys (if your a guy) is also pretty standard. So no worries about clubbing with your same sex partners. You should also note that with regard to dancing....actions to songs like Reach by S Club and of course gangham style are completely and utterly compulsory. So get practising!

Yes, places like this really do exist. I was in this club last night. There is hope for all nerds out there.

Now, a word to the wise about the only gay in college types. This is the age of experimentation, you’re away from home perhaps for the first time. You have your own room...with a lock on it. And overnight guests are standard. There’s also plenty of alcohol....and dare I say drugs around, which makes everyone more touchy feely (wink wink). I think I’ve mentioned before how most girls suddenly become bisexual after a couple of units of alcohol. Make sure you do not fuck up your friendships by taking advantage of this, and make sure you won’t get offended if they are not actually gay!

Also. I recommend bringing an entire wardrobe of fancy dress. I have a few outfits with me, but none that fit in with last night’s bay watch theme, tonight’s caveman (I think I’ll just backcomb my hair) or the army night later this week....

And on that note....

I’m off for a lecture (see look I sound all mature and smart don’t I)?

Mel

xxx

Catch 22.

Finally, a subject we managed to all agree on. Except Miu and Rory, but, still, majority ruled. And it's no wonder Rory didn't vote for it, he couldn't even spell it correctly in the poll on Facebook.

What am I talking about, I hear you say/type? Why, celibacy, or "celibracy" as Rory puts it. Officially, our title for the week is "Celibracy [sic] - is there anything you would give up sex for?", one of the longer and more cumbersome titles we've had, but it'll do, and there's got to be loads to write about here!

...right?

My mind, 25 minutes after typing "...right?".

Ok, ok, so it's a little difficult for me to think of anything I'd give up sex for. I should point out at this point that, by "sex", I mean "any sexual activity", and by "any sexual activity", I mean "anything involved in and of the posts in Week 3, Week 6, Week 11, Week 12, Week 18 or Week 21 on this blog". As such, it's a little difficult, because that'd be a lot to give up.

Do I love anything that much? Does the charred, desiccated shell that passes for the emotional centre of my brain even contain that much love? I actually had to ask my parents what I loved/was addicted to the most, and they came up with the following suggestions:

1. Energy Drinks
2. Alcohol
3. Cruelty

"We do love you, we just think that you're a vindictive alcoholic whose body is so pumped full of chemicals that taking you into any one of 46 US states is a felony."

So, brushing off my parents' stark and harrowing portrayal of my everyday life, I set to work thinking: would I give up sex for any of these 3?

#2 was simple enough - no, because it wouldn't work. James + Alcohol = sex. It's the kind of thing others are usually ashamed of, but I'm of the opinion I'll only need to start being ashamed of it when my age begins with the digit "3" or I'm in a happy relationship and my partner's in another country to me. So, that rules out #2.

#3 is the same - it just wouldn't work. Hurting people is very exciting for me, so that'd defeat the point of the exercise, and the same goes for being hurt. Todostrieb's boyfriend pinched me hard enough to make me bleed when we were staying round one of our mutual friends' house, and the only thing that stopped me from jumping him was the idea that Todostrieb's torture would be a little more severe and likely involve a puppet called Billy. 

Todostrieb: "Would you like to play a game, James? Let's play a game called... "Never Have I Ever"..."
James: "NOOOOO!"

So, that's that out of the way. And then there was 1.

This is the only option I can really give consideration to. I mean, even though I'd be dead for weeks after giving up energy drinks, I'd get better, right? But couldn't the same be said about sex? I mean, I'd develop other hobbies, surely, crocheting, line-dancing, something. 

...and I've just seen the flaw in this plan. If I give up sex for energy drinks, I also have to give up alcohol and pain to make sure I don't break my contract, as it were.

I think I'll politely decline your offer, thanks.

Yours unrepentantly,

James.

Who am I kidding, I'm not sure I'd give up sex for breathing. Auto-erotic asphyxiation has its perks.

I'm noticing a pattern here...

This is another post that's coming to you from the past - or rather, this is another busy Friday. Yes, it's results day today (when you read this, obviously), and we're all panicking and having heart attacks and getting drunk as a result. Not me. When this post goes out, I'll be on my way back to school for the technical rehearsal of our school production of Oliver! - I'm in the pit this year, and the musicians are, as always, the people who get it all right consistently. But no hard feelings, eh, they're only actors...

So how does this work then? Any sane person wouldn't put themselves through the torment of going willingly to school on results day, how could anybody ever concentrate?! I don't know. I don't even know where this post is going, I think my five minutes are nearly finished. So I shall promptly change the subject to that of not knowing what to change the subject to.

I hate it when I can't think of a decent topic to switch to; I usually pick the weather and then there's always a really awkward pause in life. Nine times out of ten, we end up back on the original topic. I won't let that happen, because it'll kill me, so before I do, I shall bid ye farewell.

PS: I should point out that after last week's prom, I can confirm that the man of my dreams was not there, and I was not whisked off into the sunset by him.