Gay marriage legalised in the UK

This month is all about LBGT history, so what better time is there to literally make history? “The marriage bill” was passed a few days ago 400 votes to 175, which while not perfect is still the good majority. It’s caused great discontent amongst the conservatives, and I’ve heard the phrase “you can oppose same sex marriage and not be homophobic” and while I’d agree it’s not quite on par with hate crime, someone made the good point that many white people who supported the apartheid didn’t consider themselves to be racist.

As a Christian something I’ve been mildly concerned about is those churches who oppose same sex marriage, that they’ll be vilianised. While I fully support same sex marriage, and I imagine my parish priest will be more than happy to officiate the services, it is almost undeniable that the Bible is against homosexuality. While liberal churches like my own take a more modern view of such things, I don’t think it means a witch hunt should be started on those Christians who are more traditional. I’m not saying its right to be homophobic, but I don’t think anyone member of the church should be pressured into doing something against their beliefs. I hope in time the more conservative churches will change their views though.

Part of the bill is that:

 (1)A person may not be compelled to—

(a)undertake an opt-in activity, or

(b)refrain from undertaking an opt-out activity.

(2)A person may not be compelled—

(a)to conduct a relevant marriage,

(b)to be present at, carry out, or otherwise participate in, a relevant marriage, or

(c)to consent to a relevant marriage being conducted, where the reason for the person not doing that thing is that the relevant marriage concerns a same sex couple.

This means that churches will be under less legal pressure than they would have otherwise, which I think is pretty nifty, if boringly worded  (at least I think that’s what it means, someone please correct me asap if I’m hideously wrong).

So, it will take a while for all the relevant changes to be made, but keep your eyes peeled for some glorious LBGT weddings :D

Lots of love,

Todostrieb 

That bitch stole my title

I think this is always going to be a case of use your common sense. It doesn't really bother me, apart from watching Mel, who is my actual sister, or Eli who is like my sister…

That doesn't mean to say that it’s okay to whip out the handcuffs on a trip to the local shopping mall though, think moderation. There might be kids watching you. In fact, this should be something that puts you off.

I confess I am probably guilty of too much PDA in the sixth form common room, but that was ages ago. But hey, I have to creep out ex-boyfriends and mark my territory somehow right?  James mentioned parties, I'm not sure if that actually counts as public or not, in our group of friends coming across a mating pair is no cause for alarm. 

No alarm here. 

In respect to LBGT I'm of the opinion your orientation shouldn't matter, do what you like, but if people are actually offended/ feel awkward because of your behaviour (for non-homophobic reasons) it’s still polite to stop. And if you really have to be within a 2cm radius of your significant other at all times, why did you agree to go out where there are other people, especially friends who might demand some of your precious attention? Living in bed is the answer, with slaves to bring you food and drink. 

I've been doing some research on this topic, and apparently LBGT’s find PDA to be a minefield of issues. It’s sad that we live in a world where you might not feel safe holding someone’s hand. I like to think attitudes are slowly changing, in England you’re definitely more likely to be glared at than openly harassed, which is an improvement on a few years ago I'm sure. My advice to you, if someone is glaring skip off into the sunset still holding hands and forget about them.

:'(

Lots of love,

Todostrieb

P.s. Mike wanted an honorary mention, so here it is: we kissed in public once and the kraken only temporarily threatened to destroy Chelmsford, but was tamed by my great and terrible beauty. 

Better Nate than lever

Better Nate than lever

I’m very sorry this post is late! It’s hard to keep track of the silly linear time units called days you mere mortals are so fond of. But at least you weren’t the friends I stood up, who walked around Stratford looking for me for two hours, when I was actually in bed asleep….

I’ve always said I never wanted to be famous; enough people stalk me as it is. Can you imagine not being able to get the post in your ugly (but amazingly warm) fleece pyjamas, without someone taking a photo of you in all your unwashed glory? Your entire personal life would be up for debate, including your sexual orientation, that can’t be fun. I feel like this is one area the press should stay out of, but they don’t for straight people either, so really it’s promoting an equality of a kind.

One of the main issues I can conceive is if you’re not out, you probably aren’t for a reason; perhaps you’re waiting for the right time to tell your family. Seeing it in the headlines is never a good way to tell your family anything.

However there is the positive role model argument, raising awareness for LBGT issues and suchlike and many celebrities do this admirable. Although, surely straight celebrities could do this anyways? I’m especially fond of straight celebs who don’t bother to deny/address/confirm claims they’re gay, because it doesn’t matter to them. It’s not an insult, or infectious disease…so why care?

Really, I would argue it’s something the media should stay out of, but when has it applied that to any other aspect of anyone’s life. Who wants their diet, weight, love life, sexuality, career, friendships and family examined in public?

I shall end this post with a picture of John Barrowman (sadly I am the wrong gender for him….and he’s happily married):

And here’s a link to the world’s longest joke, where my title is from, if you have some time to kill.

Lots of love,

Todostrieb

Homophobic Chickens

The Chick-fil-a debate may have died down a little in the past few weeks but it seems apt to resurrect it for this week’s theme, will someone always be gay? The boycott was not as a result of thousands of people disrespecting the company director’s right to freedom of speech as many mistakenly thought. But rather thousands of dollars of profits were going directly to ‘anti-gay camps’, for lack of a better term. I’ll admit, boycotting a business for a homophobic owner may seem a little over the top on the reaction scale, sure he’s an ass but does his livelihood and many others who also depend on the chain deserve to suffer? In this case yes, he’s not keeping his opinions to himself; by donating to these misguided camps it directly causes anguish to many LGBTQ teens and even adults.

The camp in question, although I’ll admit my research was brief, seems rather a complete waste of money. During the first stage of rehabilitation the idea is not to speak to anybody for fifteen days or so, with no contact with the outside world or the use of any media. This wouldn’t make me feel any less homosexual, just a lot crazier. These places prey on the fears of parents who care for their child but are frightened for them, if you just Google this company, Refuge in Milwaukee, their website is quick to point out how your loved one might be suffering from an unhealthy ‘love-addiction’, even citing cases of PTSD cause by such relationships.

It gets worse as well, some of this stuff is being taught in schools globally. There was a recent case in Malaysia where young boys were entered into a program by teachers who had concerns over their sexuality, often based on mere speculation, during school in the name of religion and ethics. I’ll admit this early targeting system is probably more effective, but ultimately more scaring. I doubt their school mates sympathised.

All my hopes were destroyed when he came out as gay :'(

I'm of the opinion your sexuality is part of who you are, it won’t change. It might take you time to find out what you truly identify as, and phases do exist; it’s perfectly possible to decide you are in fact gay after many years of being bi etc. Programs like these may stamp out any trace of the unusual from your child, but it will be a façade created by fear, no more. They will always be gay, or bi or lesbian or whatever it was you were so afraid of in the first place. You just destroyed any ounce of the courage they possessed to be themselves. Congratulations.

Todostrieb

Gay Alien Bloggers from Earth II

Aliens. The reason this post is late. The cause of my foot hurting. The origin of gayness. The root of most conspiracy theories. All joking aside, my foot has started hurting out of nowhere, aliens must have done something then wiped my memory, not that I had a very good one in the first place.

As I write this I am looking at the twitter feed of the second man made probe to land on mars, if there is sentient life in this solar system realistically we would have found it by now. However statistically speaking there probably are aliens somewhere in the universe, it’s scarily big. To use a simple comparison, I know that somewhere in my bedroom is the partner to the sock I am holding. I just don’t have the technology or motivation to find it. Because chances are aliens will either be below us on the development scale, in which case we’d exploit them for resources, which I am morally against. Don’t try to bullshit me about how kind and loving the human race is, the weak get exploited, it’s how society works. The might be more intelligent than us with some pretty spiffy weapons, in which case we get exploited, another non desirable outcome. The last option is they are of the same intelligence, with a planet equally under threat from themselves, in which case we invariably go to war.

The only nice option here is we find a nice dead race somewhere and plunder their home planet of useful minerals with minimal threat to us. Space exploration is still useful though, many new inventions, such as crisp packets, have been created in an attempt to land a man on the moon. Asteroids and meteors can be mined for minerals, there’s a company recently set up to do just that. Satellites are really cool for spying on people, even if they have to adjust measurements for relativity (that’s why your sat navs are slow buggers).

Something that worries me is theoretically there could be another habitable earth like planet also orbiting the sun, directly opposite us, at the moment we have literally no technology capable of confirming or denying this theory, although it is a little farfetched. There could be another you sitting in front of a computer screen reading homojournal less than a few light years away.

Todostrieb

The World's First Gay Windmill

Don’t laugh; my dream has always been to own a fully operational windmill, and have a small café attached selling assorted cakes, warm drinks and yummy fresh bread. We could have a small pen for animals like tiny baby goats and chickens. Each homo-journalist will be assigned a specific role; I will grind the flour and design our superbly cool LGBTQ themed packaging. Rory can drive the giant tractor because it seems like fun and he isn't technologically challenged, like James. Mel will run the shop along with her girlfriend Eli, who will look awesome in a maid costume. In fact everyone will wear cosplay 100% of the time. Miu will muck out the animals. There, everyone should be ecstatic to be given such an important role in the world’s first LGBTQ windmill. I'd say we should paint it rainbow colours and add glitter, but there's something so elegant and quaint about the traditional off-white windmill colour.

Location: Probably Norfolk

My bedroom will be furnished with a superbly cool burger bed, as seen below. It will also feature an ‘internest’ involving a cool desk, a mac pro, and at least three million books. No one but me will be allowed in my personal space, you will all damage the aura. My numerous conquests will be allowed in the room for short periods but under no circumstances may sleep in the burger bed; they will sleep in the guest room.

As far as interior design goes, my dream palace is a far cry from minimalistic, or even stylish. It will be filled wall to wall with a random assortment of eclectic items I have picked up on my travels. Brightly coloured fabrics, cushy arm chairs, a mountain of teacups, creepy paintings, enough kitchen appliances to assemble into a tank, a room entirely full of pillows, a library of antique books,  a patchwork tiled swimming costume, stained glass, pin cushions, crystals, dried herbs etc…

The guest room. Also where all the others will sleep. Also my playroom. 

While I'm on a role here are the other house rules:

• the pool is reserved for skinny dipping only
• all animals must wear cute hats at all times
• cosplay must be worn by all humanoids at any time
• if you finish someone else’s vodka, that’s what the spanking bench is for
• anyone who wakes me up from my at the very minimum 18 hour sleep will also be spanked
• the body field is where the bodies go, please do not leave evidence, I mean scientific experiments in the fridge or similar

I think that covers everything important,

Todostrieb