There's only one first time...

After that you are no longer classed as a virgin, you've lost your "V Card".
Right at this very moment, if you asked me why I haven't had sex, I think, my answer would probably be "I haven't found the right person". Truth be told there hasn't even been that person for me yet but something I strongly believe in is: love before sex. 

I'm sure the line sex after marriage rings a bell, but that would just take forever. Who knows when or even if I will ever get to that place of "together forever".

I guess for some people it's just about getting it over and done with, or being in the moment, but for most teenagers it's the overwhelming pressure. It's the what do you say to your friends or random people when they ask you about you sex life? How do you feel; left out, undesired, uncool, embarrassed? Confidence has a lot to do with it.
I feel like it's something that you do and can't take back, you either love it or don't. 
For a portion of my life I think people referred to sex as "It"
Have you done "it"? or what was "it" like?, you know IT!
It's like "it", has become a synonym of "sex". The obvious stretching of the T at the end of it and a glare to let the person know what your referring to. 
It's the norm, no one questions it, well that's a lie.
I've never thought about what my virginity means to me, most likely because I have that crazy feeling love for me doesn't exist but it is important to me that I don't lose my "V card" to a stranger or even by accident. 
Hey it happens.
I don't want to regret it.
How old would you have to be for it to be ok to have sex? Now, how old would your child have to be for you to be ok for them to lose their virginity?
I think some children or teens mature faster than others, some have a better understanding, but to answer all of these questions, I don't know! Not a clue because I'm innocent, I don't have that experience so I can't make that decision, as for my own child; we'll see, having the talk comes to mind, kinda just makes me laugh.
Ok, what if you come to that scenario, you don't have a boyfriend or any kind of relationship going on with anyone, but you want to have sex. (let's say it's because you're a certain age and your friends all have) How do you do it? Flirt with girls or guys your own age, go to a party and sleep around? 

Religiously, I've never met anyone who has said "because of my religion I do not believe in having sex before marriage" and so that's how they choose to live their own life. In my opinion, I wouldn't know how to believe someone who says that. How would you know they are telling the truth?
What if after 30 years your still waiting for that special someone to propose? Could you really wait that long. Won't you feel like it's something your missing out on? 
I am still a virgin, I could say that I am proud to be so but I also haven't had the choice not to be one.
I don't feel left out or want to, more importantly I don't feel pressured but I would like that choice.


Your Guest-slave Lavender x

Sorry it's not long, I could go one but I feel myself going round in circles and not getting to any point. I've had a busy week. So stressed out.

Masturbation month, woop!

Apologies everyone for the EXTREEEME lateness, This week Mel and I have swapped posting days, in order to better accommodate our exam timetables. But I’ve been hooked up to my kindle for 9 and a half hours, face down in my bed,  listening to the audio book of “1984”. I have my English exam tomorrow. *sighs*. We exam students are unfortunate as to not be able to experience the pleasure of this month, but alas, there is no reason why you can’t enjoy it…..

The blog I got this from starts with.. "Allison Roh Park was 14 the first time she saw a man masturbating across from her on the subway..."

What is masturbation?

Well, one way of putting it, is “to have sex with yourself”, which… isn’t really the correct term, as you can do it in the company of others too.. the vulgar and blunt way of putting it, would be the manual stimulation of your genitals.

Don’t let the way I define it put you off… it supposively feels nice J

So how does one do this act?

Well dear reader, that is a delicate matter… people like different things, and also everyone has different things that rock their boat.. like eating ice-cream.. everyone has their favourite flavour, and different ways of eating it… oui?

Now, it would be ever-so awkward for me to tell you a detailed “how-to”… and I don’t think I’d be able to keep it PG, so, here’s some useful websites:

For girlies… The-clitoris.com 

For maleies…. www.mens-sexual-health.org/

Is it normal?

86.9% of males aged 18-19 and 66% of females aged 18-19 admitted masturbating at least once in their lifetime.  (Statistics from the Kinsey institute)

So *ahem*, obviously, this is not something to be embarrassed  about… more people masturbate than there are non-straight people…

What’s more, it looks like masturbation has stopped being just a singular act by the lonesome, people are masturbating with others too… there was also a survey (by the same institute), about masturbating with other people…

49.3% of males aged 18-19 and 38.8% of females aged 18-19 admitted to have done so in their lifetimes…

Now, that doesn’t seem to be very many, but if you look down the column at the “age 25-29” range, the number has increased to 69% of males and 64% of females , which is more than half of those questioned!!

Other statistics from the webbie

• In a study of undergraduate college students, 98% of men and 44% of women reported having ever masturbated (Pinkerton, Bogart, Cecil, & Abramson, 2002).
• Among undergraduate students, men reported masturbating an average of 12 times per month, while women reported an average of 4.7 times per month (Pinkerton, Bogart, Cecil, & Abramson, 2002).
• In a study of African-American women aged 15 to 64, 62% reported that they had masturbated at some point during their lives (Robinson, Bockting, & Harrell, 2002).
• About 60% of men and 40% of women reported masturbating in the past year (Laumann, Gagnon, Michael, Michaels, 1994).
• Nearly 85% of men and 45% of women who were living with a sexual partner reported masturbating in the past year (Laumann, Gagnon, Michael, Michaels, 1994).
• 35% of American men aged 18-39 do not masturbate while 37% masturbate sometimes, and 28% one or more times per week (Laumann, Gagnon, Michael, Michaels, 1994).
• 53% of men and 25% of women masturbated for the first time by ages 11 to 13 (Janus & Janus, 1993).
• 5% of men and 11% of women have never masturbated (Janus & Janus, 1993).

But watch out Porn-lovers

In the UK, there may be a law passed very soon, that makes internet providers censor “Adult content” (quick, google this for more info), and make it necessary for people to “opt-in” to view adult content. For you to be able to continue to watch your favourite pornos online, you have to convince your parents…

Ah, the awkwardness for youngens to come makes me laugh… BUT, one thing that does worry me, is the awfully frequent amount of times that we’ve used words such as PENIS, and LESBIANS… Will our blog be censored too? Will I have to ask my mother nicely to “opt-in” to view “Adult content”?  I worry.

Yours worrisomely,

Eli x

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