Guest Slave Sam...

Good afternoon all. I’m Sam, and I have decided, against all odds, to contribute my thoughts this week on the subject of fetish. I ought to first make clear that my affiliation with LGBT issues is purely “political”; much to my mother’s displeasure, I’m straight (or at least, so I tell my girlfriend) but I have long sympathized with and supported LGBT rights movements. Which brings me neatly to my chosen topic. When I first thought about what I might write about fetishes I found myself at a loss, while not exactly ignorant of the world of sexual deviance, I’m sad to say I’ve hardly participated myself. Now, I’ve dabbled in some mildly adventurous sexual practices, from light bondage to semi-public, but I’d be hard pushed to identify any “fetish” I can call my own. I mean… I have a deeply unhealthy devotion to pianos and my brother and I enjoy making highly inappropriate incest jokes (“’Sup bro, looking fit today- I would” again, much to my mother’s displeasure, most especially when she’s the subject), but I don’t think either of those really counts.

But then I got it; I do have a fetish, you might not have heard of it, it’s not talked about often but I have a feeling it’s actually fairly common. I am completely mad about vaginal sex. You heard. If you’re not sure what it is I wouldn’t worry, there are some very informative articles and even some video footage on the Internet. It’s quite disgusting, it almost always involves a fair quantity of mucus and sweating; most girls I know completely refuse to indulge it (at least with me at any rate). But what can I say, I just can’t get off without it (ok, that might not be true, but suspend your disbelief so I can make my point), one way or another it has to be involved. Now, I know, I know, you don’t want to hear about my sex life, but that’s sorta my point- no one wants to hear about anyone’s sex life (again, not true, there many people who love hearing about other people’s sex lives, might even qualify as a fetish for some of them, but again bear with me- I’m getting to a point of sorts) because sex lives are almost invariably disgusting (that is, at least, if they’re any good).

In the course of the LGBT rights movement a great many “arguments” have been made by the bigoted masses as to why this group of people are and that this kind of love is unacceptable, immoral and, most importantly, gay. But, however clever, theological or morally authoritarian these arguments appear to some, ultimately they all boil down to a simple and pathetic truth- bigots find gay sex, gay love and most importantly, gays, disgusting (oh and don’t forget transvestites and transsexuals, those guys/gals clearly give ‘em the creeps too). Because of this, they sought to ostracize and oppress gays at every turn. In truth, the same thing happens (sadly with a much larger crowd of disgustees) with people who engage in fetishes of some kind or another. The world finds their given fetish so unspeakable, so incomprehensible, so damned unpleasant to think about that we deliberately make outcasts of them. Now mostly, this takes place on a purely social level- we are openly disparaging about them in various media, we strongly discourage them from being open or honest about their sexual practices and if they fail to comply or kick up a fuss, we quickly outcast them. However, there are some fetishes to which there is a legislative barrier in this country.

In 1993 there was a legal case in which a group of very serious sado-masochists who were tried and convicted of assault on one another, despite all the activities having been consensual and private (the groups actions were discovered by accident by the local police force) because in this country, you cannot consent to actual or grievous bodily harm (except in boxing… an exception made because we… like boxing… but sex is dirty). All the arguments made to uphold this decision fall flat on their face when looked at with a lucid mind, revealing (much to everyone’s shock and horror I’m sure) that the real reason these convictions were made was because people found their actions disgusting. Heck, I make jokes about incest (“Hey mum, looking pretty fit today- I would”) and I found them disgusting! But my finding them disgusting doesn’t mean these people shouldn’t be allowed to indulge any sexual fantasy involving consenting, able minded adults. My point is this, just because more people share my fetish for vaginal sex, doesn’t mean I should have the right to practice my fetish, while those with more outlandish fetishes are forced into, at best, secrecy and, at worst, repression.

It is my hope that with this contribution I will ensure that I am asked to write for this blog again, fingers crossed, or file a restraining order either one.