I don't know what to say....

And as such, this post will join my other posts which consist of nothing but bullshit and waffle.

The contents of this post.

In a way, I'm glad that Eli has already defined the terms 'dogging', 'cruising' and 'cottaging', because this a) saves me from having to compromise my browsing history, 2) saves me from having to do the same but in a much more confusing manner and thirdly, has told me what these terms mean, although I think I covered this reason in point i). I am also silently cursing her, because I have even less of a clue as to what to write about this week as I thought I would, save from comment on the borderline dogging which occurred in Las Vegas with a certain grandson of the Queen.

When I heard about said grandson's antics in Vegas, aside from wondering what he was doing in Vegas and not in Wales or the Falkland being brave and flying mountain rescue helicopters (or is that William? I can never remember...) I instantly decided that this would be the topic of my post this week, because I said to myself enough times that I actually began believing it that the person who took those photos was dogging... and then I began to realise that dogging is the act of watching other people have sex, most of the time outside, and that the published photos display neither sex nor the hotel exterior, then it failed to qualify.

And so I had nothing to talk about.

Even my friend couldn't suggest what to talk about, aside from talking about gay composers like Michael Tippet or Benjamin Britten or Aaron Copland; a suggestion he quickly retracted when I pointed out that 1) that's got nothing to do with dogging/cruising/cottaging, and b), if I wanted to talk about gay composers, I could just as easily talk about myself, in which case nobody would give a flying fuck anyway.

I think it's for the best that I just don't say much more apart from my opinion.... don't do dogging (is that even grammatically correct?!), because you can watch porn and filter out all the crappy videos you don't like without having to leave your house/room/bed. Don't do cottaging - I find relieving myself in public toilets unhygienic enough; the thought of having sex with a stranger who may possibly be just as hygienic as the cubicle wall he's pressing me up against is simply grotesque. And lastly, don't do cruising (unless it's around the Mediterranean or Caribbean on a boat) because if you get a serial cruiser, then you have no idea where the parts he's putting in you have been before.

The only remaining acceptable alternative to cruising.