I am druuuunk

And I am cold and have confesed all my sins to my boyfriend so that's alright. Here are the questions:

1. Describe each of the homojournal writers in a few sentences. 

Erm, ok...

James - he used to be my best friend and we both screwed lots of things up. He's evil and creepy, one of the weirdest guys ever, always trying to fit in

Mel - she's... clever, though in constantt need to be put down. what can I say, she's submissive and likes to be bitten. she's cool.

Todostrieb - the twin, very lazy and eccentric. you need some time to really get to knoe her. has been enoying herself with a fuckbuddy lol

Eli - cutest and definitely weirdest japanese girl. She's very sweet but obsessed on pickling me and putting me in a jar

Rory - we have our disagreements and he disappointingly looks over our descriptions, but he's alright and a talented musician who writes very good complaint letters

Becky - reall the only one who knows her is Mel but I admire her courage to join us and hope she can stand our weirdness (she can't be that normal if she's friends with Mel)

2. Say which lbgt issue you feel most strongly about and why

why the hell are there any issues!!! grow up people!!

3. Would you rather have a horse the size of a rabbit, or a rabbit the size of a horse- explain your reasoning in no less than 200 words.

A... not sure, neither. A rabbit the size of a horse can b hugely cus=ddly but those teeth very painful, while a horse the size of a rabbit would be cute but useless to ride on

4. Summarize the entire world LGBT history in no more than 200 words (ie what you think everyone... absolutely everyone should be told)

They like sex as much as anyone

5. Embarrassing confession

I'm only with my boyfriend because of the good sex, that's a lie he made me tell. The truth is I am willing to do anything for him, he is the most important thin to me. 

6. Your weirdest dream

I don't really have dreams or remembr them, however one of my recnt dreams did involve Sergei, the meerkat, Sergei the meerkat ghost and a magical neckless.

7. Would you rather kill someone you love to end a war in a foreign country, or kill someone you hate and thereby start one?

I simply can't consider killing anyone

8. Assign a Pokemon to each Homojournalist, and justify it.

Sorry, this requirest straight thinking, i shall deal with it tomorrow, i take pokemon seriously.

9. If you could go back and change something about your life what would it be? 

My mother/family situation or gaining a particular person's trust

10. If you were stuck on a deserted island which one book, movie and person would you want to take along?

Difficult... book God of Small Things like James, a movie i haven't seen and... probs my boyfriend :S

11. Who, other than your significant other, would we have to give you for sexy-times to get you to give us all your money?

Ian Somerhalder

12. Since I don't have to answer this question and everybody else does, who would you rather 'have'/'do'/etc - Justin Bieber or One Direction?

One Direction equals more than one, whooop

My boyfriend has now fallen asleep and i am very tired, night.

Thank god I don't get hangovers.

The thing I like about weeks like this is that it gives me a perfect excuse to go to the pub and spend an insane amount of my student loan getting rat arsed and singing Do You Hear the People Sing and other out-of-tune selections from Les Misérables and various other west end and broadway (and some not) shows. It's much fun, and I definitely did not spend most of last night doing exactly that and drooling over pictures of Eddie Redmayne...

"Do you hear the church bells ring?"

Where was I?

Oh yeah, I have to write stuff about people and Homo-Journalists. This seems like an excellent plan and there is absolutely nothing at all that can possibly go wrong.

I promise.

1. Describe each of the Homo-Journalists in a few sentences.
Oh christ...

2. Say which LGBT issue you feel most strongly about and why.
Well, equal marriage has to be right up there... personally I prefer the term 'marriage' or 'human rights', but if calling it the fight for equal marriage means my wedding to Eddie Redmayne and Ben Whishaw is legal, then I'm willing to compromise.

Wait, I'm not allowed a polygamous marriage? Fucking hell, government, stop trying to tell me what to do.

3. Would you rather have a horse the size of a rabbit, or a rabbit the size of a horse? Explain your reasoning in no less than 200 words
I had a decent answer to this when I was sober... pretty sure it'll come back to me, gimme time. For now I'm just gonna say horse the size of a rabbit, cos it'd be kinda cute, I guess.

4. Summarise the entire LGBT world history in no more than 200 words.
Erm... God made Adam and Steve, the world was somehow populated with morons who persecuted and did horrible unspeakables to the descendants of Adam and Steve, then some people started rioting because they didn't like it and ever since then we've all gone to this thing called 'Pride' and dress in rainbows and drag and have lots of alcohol and sex. Jelly babies and Vodka?

5. Embarrassing confession?
I don't think I've got any clean pants for tomorrow :(

6. Weirdest dream?
I had a really weird dream once after having eaten some cheese which my friends gave me for christmas... I'd been taken captive by some woman and put through a series of gruelling and life threatening tests. I survived, then I had to watch someone else do it and they went up the wrong staircase and 'died'... apparently going up that staircase is what forced the woman to become a transvestite and that it twisted her mind so much that she wanted the world to exist only of people who could pass this test and if they failed they'd get converted like she was... It was horrible, I'd rather not think about it.

Come to think of it, I think we'd had a Rocky Horror Picture Show night the day before and I saw far too many of my guy friends in drag and corsets, that might have something to do with it....

7. Would you rather kill someone you love to end a war in a foreign country, or kill someone you hate and thereby start one?
Who thought up this question?! It's utterly morbid, I'd clearly do both.

8. Happiest moment you can think of? (this was actually supposed to be number 7, but I forgot about it so it can go here instead where the question before thiss should have gone... oh god why am I this drunk?)
I got an A+ on my first uni essay the other day... guess I was pretty chuffed at that.

9. Assign a Pokemon to each Homo-Journalist and jsutify it.
The only ones I know are Pickachu and Squirtle. So I'll let my esteemed colleagues argue over who can be who.

Pickachu and Squirtle are both Pokemon, right?

10. (HOW MANY MORE OF THESE DO I HAVE TO DO?! I NEED SLEEP!!!!!!!) If you could go back and change something about your life, what waould it be?
I dunno, maybe I'd have done more piano and bassoon practice? Started the bassoon earlier? Probably something like that. These questions are far too deep and philosophoical for me to be answering at this level of intoxiacation.

11. If you were stuck on a desert island with a book and a person and film, which would you take?
Can I choose the island I'm stranded on too? Pretty sure there's one somewhere that's full of hot guys, I'll go there please. And I'll take Ben Whishaw or Eddie Redmayne with me (can I take them both and sacrifice the film or book?). I have lost all memory of books I've read besides the Harry Potter series, so I'll take one of those at random, and for the film, I'll take my netflix subsription. Lots of films there.

12. Who, other than your significant other, would we have to give to you for sexy-times in order for you to give us all your moneys?
As he mentioned on that day that starts the week off that he psots on, James knows the true answer to this question, but I'll just say Ben Whishaw or Eddie Redmayne. omnomnomnom.

13. Since I don't have to answer this questiona nd everybody else does, who would you rather 'have'/'do'/etc - Justin Bieber or One Direction?
Not gonna lie, however I answer this will make me sound like a peedo (I can't spell it right now, soz), so let's just go for one direction becuase there's more of them.

Who was the 'I' in teh question? I have a feeling it was me, actually... :/ oh well.

14. Biggest regret/worst thing you've done while drunk?
Apparently I harassed my friend's girlfriend about her fringe once, without knowing what the word for fringe was... I have no recollection of this incident and neither does my friend's girlfriend, so I'm just assuming that it never happened at the world is a massive lie.

(I'm not actually sure if my friend and her girlfriend are even girlfriend and girlfriend, or ever have been, if either of you are reading this, I'm sorry :/ )

Yours drunkenly and inocherenetly,
Rory

PS - I didn't get progressively more drunk here as my poor spelling and typing might suggest (if anything I'm more sober now that I was when I started, but not by much), I just gave up caring about that inconvenience we call grammar.

PPS - we should do more of htese, they're strangely fun. Next time, I'll write mine in the pub, not afterwards in my room at some unearhtly hour of the morning.

PPPS - Can you have this many 'post's in a post script?

PPPPS - As a disclaimer, I'd like to point out that the oipininos and views and stuff in this post shouldn't be taken seriously as most of it is actually the alcohol talking. (I'm actually a really nice person.)

PPPPPS - someone stop me now.

DrUnk PoST wEEk

Describe each of the homojournal writers in a few sentences. 

Eli (me) - The short one. Brown Hair, dark eyes. Bah.

Rory - He the brilliant, organised daddy of the group 

James - He's a fragile looking thing, but he bites.. 

Todostrieb - She's my mutti, ever-changing hair, stands on her tiptoes, has boobs. 

Miu - big eyes, has a self-proclaimed nice arse, she's like a beautiful china doll, but she's evvvilll :D

Mel - doctor mel, blond but not in the stereo-typical way, short

Becky - I don't know. She's purdy in the pics (via facebook stalking), but think perhaps we need to have a welcome-becky picnic :D

Say which LGBT issue you feel most strongly about and why

I don't like the fact that it's still considered abnormal, and people aren't so out and open about it. Why? - because I'm not comfortable being out out to my family... 


Would you rather have a horse the size of a rabbit, or a rabbit the size of a horse- explain your reasoning in no less than 200 words.

A giant rabbit. The rabbit the size of a horse would be awesome. You could ride it. It's be like a cute hippo thingy, until it bites your face off.... 

Think about it: having a horse the size of rabbit would be cute in a barbie-horse-y way.. .think of it's ikkle hoooooves!! But you can't ride it. Rideable rabbit wins. 


Summarise the entire world LGBT history in no more than 200 words (ie what you think everyone... absolutely everyone should be told)

God created adam and eve... then there was Steve... Socrates and the ancient greeks had something with their younger boys... (apparently) Tribes in Papa New Guinea have (had) a ritual were young men are to give BJs to their village elders, to drink in their "wisdom"... Also, in the west, homosexuality was illegal (jail and doom-gloom), stuff happened, then it was legalised, then aids..And now we have GAY-PRIDE... and some countries allow gay-marriage..... but still there are countries where it's illegal (think death-penalty) due to religious pushes.. :'(

Oh, and there is an island off of greece full of lesbians... Although that's nothing compared to the yearly DIANA-SHORE gathering... :D

Embarrassing confession
When I was younger I poured water onto someone's mattress to make it seem like they wet the bed... I ended up getting caught, and mutti made me sit there with a hair-dryer for two hours.. :')


Your weirdest dream

I don't have weird dreams... well, maybe the ver vivid rape dream was weird... or the dream where I was sowing together eggs, bunnies and clouds....because they were made of the same substance >.<


Happiest moment you can think of (first thing that pops in your mind, no cheating! But fairly serious, don't you dare say stuff "eating a chocolate bar")

CHEESE BURGERS... 

Would you rather kill someone you love to end a war in a foreign country, or kill someone you hate and thereby start one?

I don't like this question... I'd choose "kill someone you hate.. blah blah", but I don't think you should kill someone for any other means other to kill them. It's silly otherwise.. why do we have to have ulterior motives?

If you could go back and change something about your life what would it be?
I wouldn't change anything.. I like how things have turned out... WHAT IF I COME BACK TO TH PRESENT AND WE HAVE FLYING COWS??? 
oh Goddy, imagine milking it... 

If you were stuck on a deserted island which one book, movie and person would you want to take along?

I'd probably take Catch-22, I haven't read it yet.. I was going to say The Bible or The Koran, but I'd probs regret that... I've never managed to get past the first couple of pages.. plus, I'd feel guilty if I had to burn it for fire-wood. 

Movie. Why would you take a movie? which desert island has cinema system? *sighs* 

I'd take Inception. It's hard to understand, and there's Ellen Page in it :D 

Person?  My bestfriend-turned-boyfriend :D

Who, other than your significant other, would we have to give you for sexy-times to get you to give us all your money?

urmmmmmmm.... Ellen Page....

Since I don't have to answer this question and everybody else does, who would you rather 'have'/'do'/etc - Justin Bieber or One Direction?

As tempting as JB is, with all of his lesbian-ish features, he seems a bit jerky. One Direction, as theres more of them >.< tho, Just Harry will do... noms :D 

Biggest regret/worst thing you've done whilst drunk

Heres's a transcript of the James-eli drunkenness recording:

eli: no.1; yourself

James: it hasn't started yet

eli: it has

James: BOO.. it has.. me…. well, evidently I don't trust technology…. *laughs* I genuinely think I am better than the other homojournalists, I'm wrong. *laughs*

James: I like alcohol, I genuinely end up in the worst relationships known to man.. yea… thats a good decision eli, more vodka!

eli: yea, more vodka rasberries?

James: I think your phone has switched itself off… 

eli: it hasn't, it's still recording

James: dammit

eli: Rory?

James:Rory… I *sighs* didn't really *sighs* - why are you offering me alcohol that still has the stalk on it? 

eli: *laughs* yea

James: - totally healthy - it has green on it - 

eli: - it's one of our 5-a-days'

James: *laughs*

eli: Rory?

James: I barely knew rory in lower sixth

eli: mmhmm

James: -and then in lower sixth all of a sudden homojournal happened.. then.. Whhhatttt? -He's brilliant. He needs to be less up-himself.. . but still.. 

eli: he's brilliant

James: he IS brilliant

eli: he's the… *laughs* I was going to say "he's the daddy".. 

James: *laughing* He's the daddy-o… Yea, he's kinda the Dad of Homojournal.. not THE leader, which we don't have a leader, because we're.. a group… but.. he's good… 

........

This was too much like homework :")
eli x

Cheap white wine is good for the soul...

Eli, Rory, James and I are all doing this on the same night; it doesn’t count as drinking alone if you’re chatting online with people right? And also am drinking cheap white wine like the classy bitch I am. I wanted to edit this the morning after because I've written some pretty awkward stuff, which you probably don't need to know. Also drunk me seems to have got confused and answered the questions I chose and deleting others. I've referenced someone called Mike quite a lot because I was speaking to him as I wrote this post, he's kind of my fuckbuddy, but more of a friend. 

Describe each of the homojournal writers in a few sentences. This might fail slightly as I can’t really remember everyone’s code name…someone will have the delightful job of editing all these posts I’m sure.

• James- (insert mean comment about him and my ex here), he puked on my carpet and yet I still find it hard to hold a grudge, this is probably deeply indicative of my personality…
• Mel- she’s my twin and she’s frighteningly similar to me, although ovbs I am the prettier one while she is smarter than me.
• Miu- has an ear fetish, she is probs the hottest homojournalist (and I’m sure I’ll regret saying that when sober) but she is also evil.
• Rory, a Doctor Who nerd, and very good at music, he’s a pretty cool guy though, he braved IB HL physics with me :D
• Eli, one of my best friends, slightly odd…but we’re all mad here, and she’s purdy
• Becky…can’t even remember her code name and I don’t even know her that well but from my Facebook stalking she seems pretty cool.         

     Summarize the entire world LGBT history in no more than 200 words (ie what you think everyone... absolutely everyone should be told)
Gay/bi/trans people are just the same as straight people and people have only recently started realising this.

Embarrassing confession
I once made Sim versions of me and boyfriend (now ex) who were married. 

Your weirdest dream
The weirdest dream I’ve ever had was the zombie apocalypse and they hailed me as their queen, also their leader was my five year old sister :’(. And they threw tarot cards at me which stuck in my flesh…

Happiest moment you can think of (first thing that pops in your mind, no cheating! But fairly serious, don't you dare say stuff "eating a chocolate bar")
Not really sure about this one, I’m a lucky bitch and my childhood was pretty great. Passing the IB while on holiday with friends in Cannes was pretty awesome, but the millennium dome and suchlike with my family was cool.

Would you rather kill someone you love to end a war in a foreign country, or kill someone you hate and thereby start one?
Probably kill someone I love, maybe not devil child my little sister, but pretty much anyone else. I try to think about people I don’t personally care about as someone else’s younger sibling/ parent. Def. I would kill Mike to stop a war (sorry).

Assign a Pokemon to each Homojournalist, and justify it.
Honestly, I’m not a huge poke fan, I watched a few episodes of the original anime but only played the game minimally. Mui would probs be a slowpoke because she’s pretty lazy. Eli would probe be mew because she’s cute but also evil. I’ve always imagined James as Q-bone because he’s skinny. Becky…I really don’t know, squirtle? She seems like a water type. Mel, I could see as a bug type, other than that not sure. I have discussed this with Mike and his spirit Pokémon is a Gengar, which is fluffy and purple….

If you could go back and change something about your life what would it be? 
I have no big regrets (even drunk ones). There’s a few people I probably shouldn’t have made out with, but probably the biggest one is that I should have tried harder to take art (my mother told me she’d kick me out if I did). 

If you were stuck on a deserted island which one book, movie and person would you want to take along?
For the book totally Richard Siken’s book of poetry called Crush. I don’t enjoy rereading fiction that much, but often with poetry I’ll find myself thinking this poem describes exactly how I feel so accurately I need to read it NOW. The movie would be Donnie Darko, I’m not a huge movie person but every time I watch it I find something new to think about so it seems a safe bet, And the person would be Mike, because he’s good in bed, seems like he’d be helpful in a survival situation and can’t be that annoying because I’ve never had a proper argument with him.

Who, other than your significant other, would we have to give you for sexy-times to get you to give us all your money?
I have no significant other at the moment so it’s definitely gunna have to be Barack Obama, whom I could Blackmail and regain my fortune. If that’s not an option than def. John Barrowman, who is fucking hot. I would say Mike, but I don’t think I have to pay him to get naked anyways…

Since I don't have to answer this question and everybody else does, who would you rather 'have'/'do'/etc - Justin Bieber or One Direction?
Justin Bieber, I can’t be assed to remember all the names of people in one direction, so why bother? Justin needs to be corrupted anyways.

Biggest regret/worst thing you've done whilst drunk
I am pretty lightweight, so I have disgraced myself while drunk numerous times, involving lots of puke. Although this new years eve house party I went to has to top it all.  I made out with three random people, some of which while holding Mike's hand, and then I continued to rip off my own toenail and no one knows how…

P.s.  I know I related these to Mike, I’m not whipped…just drunk.

Lots of love,Todostrieb.