The world beyond...

The world is largely divided in two types of people, those who believe aliens exist and those who believe they do not. Obviously one of these two must be right, but we have no way of knowing which :/ 

Does it really matter? Maybe there is, was, or one day will be some sort of life out there, or maybe we are all alone. To me it does not make much of a difference, so I'll leave you with a quote

"If no life existed out in the Universe, well, it'd be an awful waste of space"

and some funny pics (credits to the fb page I fucking love science)

Love,

Miu xx

So Long and Thanks for all the Fish.

No, I'm not leaving you, have no fear. I just wish to relay the message we received on our answer machine from Mel, Todostrieb and Eli's alien abductors.

We're speaking to the Martian embassy and are negotiating their safe return. Or not.

Now to the topic at hand: aliens (how ironic). And to make James happy, I'll talk about all those famous gay aliens, like Captain Jack Harkness out of Torchwood, or.... actually, he's the only one I can think of, unless E.T. turned out to be gay too? I'm sure there are more, there must be a gay Dalek or two roaming the cosmos somewhere, and I'm convinced that all Cybermen are gay too, because even they must have some sort of excitement in their otherwise mechanical lives, and it's not as if there are any Cyberwomen around.

Ef-fem-in-ate! You will be Ef-fem-in-at-ed!!

Actually, after a quick Google Image search for 'Cyberwomen', I'm reminded that Ianto-from-Torchwood's ex-girlfriend was turned into a Cyberwoman by him, I can't remember the whys and wherefores, but it was a sight to behold nonetheless:

Hardly surprising that all Cybermen are gay, then....

For those who are genuinely interested in extra-terrestrials of the homo-/bisexual variety, you might consider watching a German film called Traumschiff Surprise, which is a parody of Star Trek and is one of those laugh-your-cock off films in which everybody acts stereotypically gay. I'm not sure if it's been translated into English, so you'd all better get your Phrase Book ready.

And while we're on the topic of Star Trek, I'm told it's good viewing for those who like seeing men in very tight fitting outfits.

Gay Alien Bloggers from Earth II

Aliens. The reason this post is late. The cause of my foot hurting. The origin of gayness. The root of most conspiracy theories. All joking aside, my foot has started hurting out of nowhere, aliens must have done something then wiped my memory, not that I had a very good one in the first place.

As I write this I am looking at the twitter feed of the second man made probe to land on mars, if there is sentient life in this solar system realistically we would have found it by now. However statistically speaking there probably are aliens somewhere in the universe, it’s scarily big. To use a simple comparison, I know that somewhere in my bedroom is the partner to the sock I am holding. I just don’t have the technology or motivation to find it. Because chances are aliens will either be below us on the development scale, in which case we’d exploit them for resources, which I am morally against. Don’t try to bullshit me about how kind and loving the human race is, the weak get exploited, it’s how society works. The might be more intelligent than us with some pretty spiffy weapons, in which case we get exploited, another non desirable outcome. The last option is they are of the same intelligence, with a planet equally under threat from themselves, in which case we invariably go to war.

The only nice option here is we find a nice dead race somewhere and plunder their home planet of useful minerals with minimal threat to us. Space exploration is still useful though, many new inventions, such as crisp packets, have been created in an attempt to land a man on the moon. Asteroids and meteors can be mined for minerals, there’s a company recently set up to do just that. Satellites are really cool for spying on people, even if they have to adjust measurements for relativity (that’s why your sat navs are slow buggers).

Something that worries me is theoretically there could be another habitable earth like planet also orbiting the sun, directly opposite us, at the moment we have literally no technology capable of confirming or denying this theory, although it is a little farfetched. There could be another you sitting in front of a computer screen reading homojournal less than a few light years away.

Todostrieb

I am never going to Freehold, Iowa.

Another Monday, another week where I'm outvoted on what topic we write about. You see, we decide by having a vote each week, and I'm all for topics like "LGBTQS celebrities as role models" and "Homophobia - actual phobia or ignorance?"

Unfortunately, the poll always looks like this by Sunday:

Actual quote - Todostrieb: "OMG flying boobs would be awesome."

Thus we have "UFOs and Aliens" week.

Now, aside from the obvious Rule 34 implications (I wish with all my heart that I hadn't Googled "Rule 34" - I despised My Little Pony enough already, thank you), I had trouble thinking of any connection between the two. So, with Google already open, I decided to do some digging. And oh my, some people have been finding connections for me.

They forgot the "BBQ" y-axis, which shows how much my brain started smouldering as I read that page.

Now I know this is a satire page, and I have nothing against gays, or aliens, or religion per-se, or crazy, but that page is a bewildering maelstrom of all 4 at the very highest levels. You could lock a starving cat in a room that contained a mouse floating in a pool, on a lilo, while blasting the Hawaii Five-0 theme tune at them, and you still wouldn't reach the levels of confusion, anger and revulsion as you see on that page. FBI Profilers could read that page as part of their training, if just to understand how strange delusions can be. We'll have evolved past the point at which we ARE THE INVADING ALIENS TO SOMEONE ELSE before we can fully understand what's going on in these people's heads.

I'm now in the middle of a true sense of humour failure here. "Pastor Ezekiel" has some very interesting badges underneath his name. Some, such as "Christian Love", and "4th Year Bible College" are absolutely brilliant, love and studying are wonderful. Here are some others:

1. "Punched the most queers" - a jolly pair of boxing gloves.
2. "True Christian Caucasian" - some variety of white object, possibly a feather, I'll give it the benefit of the doubt.
3. The rather ominous "Tell Her Once" - a shaking, closed, fist.

I will become this Sim, then go torment these people. Out of spite.

Seriously?! Satire's all very well and good, but you can't make fun of these things. It's not right, these are real issues, and it's not that funny. There are some things that you can't mock, women's rights, gay rights and aliens that might possibly have the technology to destroy us all being very high up on the list.

Aliens, if you're listening, go back. We have too much to fix before you're safe to visit.

Yours flabbergastedly,

James.

For at least 10 minutes, I didn't know it was a satirical page. I very nearly caught fire.