Writing is to blogging what masturbation is to sex.

Source: goodreads

We know that more than seventy to eighty percent of women masturbate, and ninety percent of men masturbate, and the rest lie. ― Joycelyn Elders, "Abstinence", Penn & Teller: Bullshit! (Showtime), 5 June 2006

“My first time I jacked off, I thought I'd invented it. I looked down at my sloppy handful of junk and thought, This is going to make me rich.” ― Chuck Palahniuk, Choke

“I suffer from tennis elbow. It’s an old masturbating injury from when I was training to go into politics.” ― Jarod Kintz, The Days of Yay are Here! Wake Me Up When They're Over.

“Always buy pornographic books in hardback because they're easier to hold with one hand.”  ― Robert Clark

“Above all others I pity the homeless: where can they go to masturbate?” ― Robert Clark

“If I'm going to merely ramble, maybe I should just snuggle under the warm covers, think of Miu, and play with myself.” ― Haruki Murakami, Sputnik Sweetheart (coincidence, Miu, I think not)

Source: wikiquote

Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love. ― Woody Allen, in Annie Hall

You're gonna be pleasing each other, and if he already knows what pleases him, and he's gonna please himself, then why am I in the picture? ― Christine O'Donnell, "IX: The Safest Sex of All", Sex in the 90s (MTV), 1996

Self improvement is masturbation. ― Tyler Durden, in Fight Club

I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own. ― Woody Allen

I masturbate! I do it like I think if I keep doing it, I'm gonna win something. ― Dave Attell

If you're going to stop masturbating, you can't 'taper off'. You've got to quit, cold jerky! ― Lenny Bruce

The good thing about masturbation is that you don't have to dress up for it. ― Truman Capote

If God had intended for us not to masturbate, He would have made our arms shorter. ― George Carlin

Masturbation: Shaking hands with the unemployed. ― George Carlin

My mother caught me. ― George Costanza from Seinfeld

Physics is to mathematics as sex is to masturbation. ― Richard Feynman

The only thing about masturbation to be ashamed of is doing it badly. ― Sigmund Freud

Intercourse with a woman is sometimes a satisfactory substitute for masturbation. But it takes a lot of imagination to make it work. ― Karl Kraus

Masturbation is to sex as philosophy is to reality. ― Karl Marx

Sophisticated persons masturbate without compunction. They do it for reasons of health, privacy, thrift and because of the remarkable perfection of invisible partners. ― P. J. O'Rourke

We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation. ― Lily Tomlin

If you're going to gamble your lives sexually, don't play a lone hand too much. ― Mark Twain

Masturbation is just like procrastination, it's fun at first, but in the end you're just screwing yourself. ― Anonymous

OMG! Is that a Stereotype I see??

Well hello there special followers (I'm hoping there is at least 1 person following us :P)

We have now reached the much awaited weekend and on this fabulous Saturday morning I am here to discuss the stereotypical subject of stereotypes! I said fabulous cause I could see this tiny ray of sunlight peering through my bedroom shades; little did I know that - England being what it is -  when I opened the shades the sun had been covered by a thick sheet of clouds and it is now raining. Oh English weather… it always lives up to stereotypes don't you think?

Do not fear! I will not fall into the (yet other) stereotype of English people always talking about the weather; let me enlighten you. My name is Miu, no it is not a typical name and no I am not sure it is even real but that is not the point. I am the straight (at least 99% so) token/mascot of this insane group of non-hetero entities. I chose to write on Saturdays because, let it be said, it is the BEST day. I am 18 and NOT English, so what am I? Well that is a very good question that even the most esteemed philosophers or scientists have not been able to answer, so let it just be said that I am… [missing to protect identity]  or more simply: I just AM. To quote my dear friend (and by "friend" I mean "that idiot!") Descartes "Ego sum. Ego existo. (I am. I exist.)" Though I'm not even sure about that!

Now back to the point. Stereotypes. Most people hate them. Why? Because they are a way of passing judgement on a person merely based on ethnicity, gender, culture, religion, colour, height… and many many others. And of course, we insecure little humans just hate to be judged! I mean seriously, everyone around us is judging us in someway or another; even you are judging me in this exact moment while reading this blog. You are deciding whether I am just a crazed teenager or in need of serious medical attention. On the other hand you may also be considering how awesome I am, in which case carry on. The fact is, we do not hate the "nice" stereotypes. I don't see any African man going around saying: "Hey! How dare you say I have a big penis!?" But I do hear Indian/Japanese guys crying out: "its not true! Its not true!"
I once heard someone say (or probably just read it on FB)

"I live three lives:
○ The one I live everyday
○ The one people say I live
○ And the one my parents think I live"

Now I found that quite funny, as I too seem to live three lives - though probably even more. What about you? If it does apply to you then sorry honey, but you are a stereotypical teenager (or human being)! Now why did I used "stereotypical" rather than just "typical"? No matter the definition (thank you James!) they essentially have the same meaning. What makes us hate it so much is the negative connotations that come with it. We don't want to be put in a closed box. It is when people only see the stereotype and refuse to see the real person that it all becomes really annoying. But stereotypes aren't bad in themselves.

I tend to consider myself as...unique. I am not you r typical gal. Yet even I have fallen into a stereotype. I'm sitting at my desk writing on a blog while spinning around in my chair and lovingly wearing my boyfriend's oversized hoodie to comfort me while he is away! Nevertheless, stereotypes exist for a reason. Although most are not accurate, people really tend to behave similarly. It's a fact that most English people have their 5 o'clock tea. Call it stereotype, tradition or culture, in the end there's not much difference.

Either way I still find it amazing when you meet that ONE person who fits a stereotype perfectly! I think they are a rare endangered species that should be protected… or locked up - I mean looked after - in a museum for people to watch!

I think you've had enough of me by now so I will leave you to hopefully start a debate on whether what I said is utter bullshite (not a typo, read it as appropriate) or incredibly clever or perhaps insane. The latter tends to include the other two into one.

Do not despair, I'll be back next week!

Love,

Miu

P.S. Don't forget to e-mail us at homojournal@gmail.com for any questions, comments, request or if you are bored and have nothing better to do. We are available 24/7 (that is 24 minutes every 7 hours) so try your luck!

P.P.S. [ok that's a total lie that was true erm... a few days ago... now well... just drunk typing on the computer while my other fellow bloggers are getting off with each other LOL what a stereotype right?]