The World's First Gay Windmill

Don’t laugh; my dream has always been to own a fully operational windmill, and have a small café attached selling assorted cakes, warm drinks and yummy fresh bread. We could have a small pen for animals like tiny baby goats and chickens. Each homo-journalist will be assigned a specific role; I will grind the flour and design our superbly cool LGBTQ themed packaging. Rory can drive the giant tractor because it seems like fun and he isn't technologically challenged, like James. Mel will run the shop along with her girlfriend Eli, who will look awesome in a maid costume. In fact everyone will wear cosplay 100% of the time. Miu will muck out the animals. There, everyone should be ecstatic to be given such an important role in the world’s first LGBTQ windmill. I'd say we should paint it rainbow colours and add glitter, but there's something so elegant and quaint about the traditional off-white windmill colour.

Location: Probably Norfolk

My bedroom will be furnished with a superbly cool burger bed, as seen below. It will also feature an ‘internest’ involving a cool desk, a mac pro, and at least three million books. No one but me will be allowed in my personal space, you will all damage the aura. My numerous conquests will be allowed in the room for short periods but under no circumstances may sleep in the burger bed; they will sleep in the guest room.

As far as interior design goes, my dream palace is a far cry from minimalistic, or even stylish. It will be filled wall to wall with a random assortment of eclectic items I have picked up on my travels. Brightly coloured fabrics, cushy arm chairs, a mountain of teacups, creepy paintings, enough kitchen appliances to assemble into a tank, a room entirely full of pillows, a library of antique books,  a patchwork tiled swimming costume, stained glass, pin cushions, crystals, dried herbs etc…

The guest room. Also where all the others will sleep. Also my playroom. 

While I'm on a role here are the other house rules:

• the pool is reserved for skinny dipping only
• all animals must wear cute hats at all times
• cosplay must be worn by all humanoids at any time
• if you finish someone else’s vodka, that’s what the spanking bench is for
• anyone who wakes me up from my at the very minimum 18 hour sleep will also be spanked
• the body field is where the bodies go, please do not leave evidence, I mean scientific experiments in the fridge or similar

I think that covers everything important,

Todostrieb

Introducing the Homojournal Jubilee Celebrations -a typical conversation

Our Jubilee themed banner, a source of great debate. 

Mel:  ‎*Applauds*

Miu: Kill me now.

Eli: What's wrong?

Miu: Was it not clear that I do not agree with the whole jubilee-theme?

Eli: ‎...Since when?

Eli: And Miu, we must celebrate the old.

Mel: Man up Miu. You live in England, You must love the queen....also tea.

Miu: Well I do not, sorry but not all English people must and I am not even English so…

Miu: You guys picked it and it's fine, I simply do not conform.

Mel: I guess you could write about what's going on in Italy.

Mel: What is happening over there anyway?

Eli: Dolce and gibanna are the queen and king, right?

Miu: ‎-.- First of all it's "gabbana" secondly... NEVER and thirdly... we have no monarchy.

Mel: Oh....who do you put on your stamps?

Todostrieb: Speak about the student strikes, or how everyone hates the new government!

Miu: whyyyyy? The theme is the jubilee and how does it have anything to do with homojournal.

Mel: I was going to speak about lack of gay royals...and the royal sex icons and scandals....also was going to mention bra fitting and the queens boobs.

Eli: What about that gay Indian prince? The one that was on telly looking for a man?

James: Nobody write about this man, he's claimed: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prince_George,_Duke_of_Kent

James: ‎"Both before and after his marriage, Prince George had a string of affairs with both men and women, from socialites to Hollywood celebrities."

"The Duke of Kent is said to have been addicted to drugs (notably morphine and cocaine) – a weakness which his brother the Prince of Wales was deputed to cure him of during the latter part of the 1920s – and reportedly was blackmailed by a male prostitute to whom he wrote intimate letters. Another of his reported sexual liaisons was with his distant cousin Louis Ferdinand, Prince of Prussia; art historian Anthony Blunt was reputedly another intimate."

Eli: Does this mean that next week's theme is "gay royals"?

James: It's just "Royalty", Queen's breast size, which royal you'd bang, etc...

Mel: Harry OBVS.

Todostrieb: Nah def. Kate.

Mel: Her too.

Eli: Ew, they're all gross. I'd rather bang the corgis. And I hate dogs.

Mel: I vote we print screen this thread for our Sunday post....and scribble out names on paint....

Miu: No one who wants to fuck the queen!? D:

Eli: Not when she lies back and thinks of England -.-

Mel: England is sexy. Plus, she used to be fit.

Mel: Bragging rights?

Eli: ‎...Not when someone shouts "Yorkshire" or "bull dog" or "tea!" or "fish and chips" when they cum. -.-

Mel: But isn't England all about stiff upper lip and restraint? Handcuffs and gags... illusions and role play, disguise and spies. Fucking outside in the rain...eloquent dirty talk and the corruption of those posh totties?

James: Quite frankly, the way Mel describes it, I want Mel as Queen.

Mel:  I've been campaigning for years. Finally some recognition.

Miu: Wait... by that James... do you mean you want to fuck Mel? o.O

Eli: I'm in the wrong England, I want to be in that one. *point to Mel and James, in a red telephone box*

Mel: Join us.

Miu: ‎*Hides behind the lamp post with a video camera* this is sooo going on the video section

Rory: Wait, I thought this whole theme was about what we would have done over 60 years on the throne..?

James: I think it'd work better if it was just "Anything "British Monarchy" related", you could do the 60 years thing, Mel can do the Queen's breast size (she mentioned it), I can do the amazing Prince George, Duke of Kent (sadly only by writing about him)...

OMG! Is that a Stereotype I see??

Well hello there special followers (I'm hoping there is at least 1 person following us :P)

We have now reached the much awaited weekend and on this fabulous Saturday morning I am here to discuss the stereotypical subject of stereotypes! I said fabulous cause I could see this tiny ray of sunlight peering through my bedroom shades; little did I know that - England being what it is -  when I opened the shades the sun had been covered by a thick sheet of clouds and it is now raining. Oh English weather… it always lives up to stereotypes don't you think?

Do not fear! I will not fall into the (yet other) stereotype of English people always talking about the weather; let me enlighten you. My name is Miu, no it is not a typical name and no I am not sure it is even real but that is not the point. I am the straight (at least 99% so) token/mascot of this insane group of non-hetero entities. I chose to write on Saturdays because, let it be said, it is the BEST day. I am 18 and NOT English, so what am I? Well that is a very good question that even the most esteemed philosophers or scientists have not been able to answer, so let it just be said that I am… [missing to protect identity]  or more simply: I just AM. To quote my dear friend (and by "friend" I mean "that idiot!") Descartes "Ego sum. Ego existo. (I am. I exist.)" Though I'm not even sure about that!

Now back to the point. Stereotypes. Most people hate them. Why? Because they are a way of passing judgement on a person merely based on ethnicity, gender, culture, religion, colour, height… and many many others. And of course, we insecure little humans just hate to be judged! I mean seriously, everyone around us is judging us in someway or another; even you are judging me in this exact moment while reading this blog. You are deciding whether I am just a crazed teenager or in need of serious medical attention. On the other hand you may also be considering how awesome I am, in which case carry on. The fact is, we do not hate the "nice" stereotypes. I don't see any African man going around saying: "Hey! How dare you say I have a big penis!?" But I do hear Indian/Japanese guys crying out: "its not true! Its not true!"
I once heard someone say (or probably just read it on FB)

"I live three lives:
○ The one I live everyday
○ The one people say I live
○ And the one my parents think I live"

Now I found that quite funny, as I too seem to live three lives - though probably even more. What about you? If it does apply to you then sorry honey, but you are a stereotypical teenager (or human being)! Now why did I used "stereotypical" rather than just "typical"? No matter the definition (thank you James!) they essentially have the same meaning. What makes us hate it so much is the negative connotations that come with it. We don't want to be put in a closed box. It is when people only see the stereotype and refuse to see the real person that it all becomes really annoying. But stereotypes aren't bad in themselves.

I tend to consider myself as...unique. I am not you r typical gal. Yet even I have fallen into a stereotype. I'm sitting at my desk writing on a blog while spinning around in my chair and lovingly wearing my boyfriend's oversized hoodie to comfort me while he is away! Nevertheless, stereotypes exist for a reason. Although most are not accurate, people really tend to behave similarly. It's a fact that most English people have their 5 o'clock tea. Call it stereotype, tradition or culture, in the end there's not much difference.

Either way I still find it amazing when you meet that ONE person who fits a stereotype perfectly! I think they are a rare endangered species that should be protected… or locked up - I mean looked after - in a museum for people to watch!

I think you've had enough of me by now so I will leave you to hopefully start a debate on whether what I said is utter bullshite (not a typo, read it as appropriate) or incredibly clever or perhaps insane. The latter tends to include the other two into one.

Do not despair, I'll be back next week!

Love,

Miu

P.S. Don't forget to e-mail us at homojournal@gmail.com for any questions, comments, request or if you are bored and have nothing better to do. We are available 24/7 (that is 24 minutes every 7 hours) so try your luck!

P.P.S. [ok that's a total lie that was true erm... a few days ago... now well... just drunk typing on the computer while my other fellow bloggers are getting off with each other LOL what a stereotype right?]