The World's First Gay Windmill

Don’t laugh; my dream has always been to own a fully operational windmill, and have a small café attached selling assorted cakes, warm drinks and yummy fresh bread. We could have a small pen for animals like tiny baby goats and chickens. Each homo-journalist will be assigned a specific role; I will grind the flour and design our superbly cool LGBTQ themed packaging. Rory can drive the giant tractor because it seems like fun and he isn't technologically challenged, like James. Mel will run the shop along with her girlfriend Eli, who will look awesome in a maid costume. In fact everyone will wear cosplay 100% of the time. Miu will muck out the animals. There, everyone should be ecstatic to be given such an important role in the world’s first LGBTQ windmill. I'd say we should paint it rainbow colours and add glitter, but there's something so elegant and quaint about the traditional off-white windmill colour.

Location: Probably Norfolk

My bedroom will be furnished with a superbly cool burger bed, as seen below. It will also feature an ‘internest’ involving a cool desk, a mac pro, and at least three million books. No one but me will be allowed in my personal space, you will all damage the aura. My numerous conquests will be allowed in the room for short periods but under no circumstances may sleep in the burger bed; they will sleep in the guest room.

As far as interior design goes, my dream palace is a far cry from minimalistic, or even stylish. It will be filled wall to wall with a random assortment of eclectic items I have picked up on my travels. Brightly coloured fabrics, cushy arm chairs, a mountain of teacups, creepy paintings, enough kitchen appliances to assemble into a tank, a room entirely full of pillows, a library of antique books,  a patchwork tiled swimming costume, stained glass, pin cushions, crystals, dried herbs etc…

The guest room. Also where all the others will sleep. Also my playroom. 

While I'm on a role here are the other house rules:

• the pool is reserved for skinny dipping only
• all animals must wear cute hats at all times
• cosplay must be worn by all humanoids at any time
• if you finish someone else’s vodka, that’s what the spanking bench is for
• anyone who wakes me up from my at the very minimum 18 hour sleep will also be spanked
• the body field is where the bodies go, please do not leave evidence, I mean scientific experiments in the fridge or similar

I think that covers everything important,

Todostrieb

Flexibility and tight leotards- 'nugh said

Sadly I'm currently working an eighty-four hour week at the Olympics in question, so this post will be kept short. (Don't worry about me folks, I waived my European time directive rights).

All athletes have a lovely physicality to them, which in an intimidating way makes them very attractive. It makes a nice change to find a woman who would like to be complimented on the size of her calves more than her breasts. They are the best that the human form can provide, fast, strong, dedicated and.....shiny with sweat. What I'm trying to say here is, as a general rule most athletes are fit in a non traditional sense.

But, if I had to chose one discipline that appealed to me most, it would be gymnastics- hands down. Probably the floor displays, though I find those ring things and horse boxes full of possibility also. Flexibility, tight costumes, lithe muscles.....think of the sex!

Here is a GB athlete from the 2008 Olympics. See! It's hypnotic, and I find the commentary a curious turn on.

So folks....when you tune into the Olympics (apparently there are 5 billion viewers worldwide, that's everyone with a telly, so it includes you probably) be sure to check out the cuties in leotards, male and female.

GO TEAM GB!

Lots of Love,

Mel