The Ann Summers Food Review continues, and for me, it was the Jelly willies, a rainbow of gummy penises and peni...
Name of the good 4/10
I suppose as a little known brand and good, it may be a hood
idea to have a name that states exactly what the good is “Jelly Willies”…
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| It wasn't very spreadable :/ |
However, it is more of a misleading product description than a name, as it is more of a gummy-sweet than what
you would imagine Jelly to be. One might even wonder whether it is false
advertising, but I will forgive them, because there is gelatine in the sweet.
The definition of Jelly “A sweet, clear,
semisolid, somewhat elastic spread or preserve made from fruit juice and sugar
boiled to a thick consistency.”
Packaging 3/10
Whose idea was it to put a mutant diseased blob on the front
of the box?
It put me off.
Price 7/10
I paid £3.00 for this, and compared to a pack of Haribos
costing £1.00(which gives you a far greater quantity of gummy-sweets, and they
taste better), I felt a little cheated by this.
However studying business and economics have taught me a few
things as to why they can(/may have to) charge a higher price:
1)
The products are differentiated (the
jelly-willies are penis shaped), so they don’t have to compete on price.
2)
They are also operating in different markets, Haribos
for the sweets and sugar industries we buy them merely to snack and to enjoy
the taste, whereas the Jelly-willies operate in the novelty/jokes industry.
3)
Haribos are a much larger company, and produce
at a larger scale, so can benefit from economies of scale, so their marginal
costs are lower, and so can charge a lower price.
4)
Laws of demand and supply..
So basically, penises are funny, so we buy them.
Looks 8/10
It's not very realistic, but we should give them credit for capturing colour-diversity and the fact that nobody's perfect... just look at all these mutated ones...
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| What do you think? |
Also, they're cute! I would buy a necklace with them on...
Taste 6/10
The sweets come in a variety of colors, each with their own flavorings.The taste of the willies was generally ok, however it wasn’t as great as harribos or fruits pastels.
I liked the red strawberry flavoured ones, but hated the orange and the green
ones… But that’s also my preferences with fruit pastels, so I won’t deduct
points for that.
The main reason for the low score for the taste, is the
texture. Frankly, I was disappointed, and quite put off by them. The penises
were too soft. They needed to be harder. Please put more gelatine in it next
time..
But then perhaps it was done purposefully? On one hand, it
may be more pleasant and tasty for the willies to be chewier, or instead be a
hard-boiled willy sweets. But maybe people object to having hard penis sweets?
I’ve heard of penis shaped lollies, but not boiled sweets…
Do I see a gap in the market? What do you think guys, should
we go for this business opportunity?
Humour 7/10
It was funny at the beginning, asking friends “would you
like a penis?” and then flashing my jellied willies, but after a while, the
humour of it goes, and I became the sad girl with a box of jellied willies on
her nightstand. I still have loads left over, as evident in the pictures
date-stamped with today’s date.. (Sorry, I mucked up my camera settings)
Sexiness? 0/10
Food play involving the jellied willies? NO. Just no. I
would run. Firstly, there’s a graphic of a green STD penis on the front.
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| sexyyyyy |
Secondly, you’re not supposed to stick sugary stuff “up
there”, because you can get a yeast infection. As “cute” as these sweets may
appear, they can be nasty.
But Eli, food play isn’t all about sticking food “up there”,
you could lick/ eat the penises off each other…
…………..No…………. *shakes head slowly*
Over-all 5/10
Yes, this is a wonderful, brilliant product, for the first few minutes (or seconds) after purchase, or after receiving as a gift. It is funny.
However after that, the humor and novelty of it quickly runs out. I doubt I'd go and buy it again...
Well, after all that work, I've put into this post, I'm tired now, so I shall go relax with my pot of tea and my leftover willies from the photoshoot. ta ta
Eli x
ps, We welcome comments and emails and other means of communication... and of course we will happily reply to them eventually :) So.. yus.. email us!
*feels awkward*
