I'm a bad bad homojournalist...

...and I'm sorry. 

for what 

i don't know

is there a way to use like a 2 penny

what are you typing

i'm not revealing weird sex things i do with R....

wait are you writing some weird erotica, because i'd rather you just email me that

adddaaaammmmm.. can you open it

Ok now that's enough -.-"

sorry again, pc was taken over by asmodeous... 

Back to topic. Sex Myths.... that's a tricky one, I can think of many myths, but not any that I actually believed. My mother informed me too well.. and tv.. and sex ed. 

So, the sex myth I thought was everybody knows what BDSM is. Apparently there are people who don't O.o.. My mother had to sit me down and explain to me.. "There are kinky people, and there are not so kinky people.. vanilla people..."

There are also people who look like lego.. 

Eli

ps, Asmodeous just actually reminded me of one.. "if you cum in a swimming pool or a bath, you can get someone pregnant" I actually believed this when I was about 11 :') Yes, I was a strange child.. But hey, this was when I also thought a tampon was one of them things that you put in the loo to keep it fresh smelling 

The World's First Gay Windmill

Don’t laugh; my dream has always been to own a fully operational windmill, and have a small café attached selling assorted cakes, warm drinks and yummy fresh bread. We could have a small pen for animals like tiny baby goats and chickens. Each homo-journalist will be assigned a specific role; I will grind the flour and design our superbly cool LGBTQ themed packaging. Rory can drive the giant tractor because it seems like fun and he isn't technologically challenged, like James. Mel will run the shop along with her girlfriend Eli, who will look awesome in a maid costume. In fact everyone will wear cosplay 100% of the time. Miu will muck out the animals. There, everyone should be ecstatic to be given such an important role in the world’s first LGBTQ windmill. I'd say we should paint it rainbow colours and add glitter, but there's something so elegant and quaint about the traditional off-white windmill colour.

Location: Probably Norfolk

My bedroom will be furnished with a superbly cool burger bed, as seen below. It will also feature an ‘internest’ involving a cool desk, a mac pro, and at least three million books. No one but me will be allowed in my personal space, you will all damage the aura. My numerous conquests will be allowed in the room for short periods but under no circumstances may sleep in the burger bed; they will sleep in the guest room.

As far as interior design goes, my dream palace is a far cry from minimalistic, or even stylish. It will be filled wall to wall with a random assortment of eclectic items I have picked up on my travels. Brightly coloured fabrics, cushy arm chairs, a mountain of teacups, creepy paintings, enough kitchen appliances to assemble into a tank, a room entirely full of pillows, a library of antique books,  a patchwork tiled swimming costume, stained glass, pin cushions, crystals, dried herbs etc…

The guest room. Also where all the others will sleep. Also my playroom. 

While I'm on a role here are the other house rules:

• the pool is reserved for skinny dipping only
• all animals must wear cute hats at all times
• cosplay must be worn by all humanoids at any time
• if you finish someone else’s vodka, that’s what the spanking bench is for
• anyone who wakes me up from my at the very minimum 18 hour sleep will also be spanked
• the body field is where the bodies go, please do not leave evidence, I mean scientific experiments in the fridge or similar

I think that covers everything important,

Todostrieb

Fifty Shades of Gay

I know this post is supposed to be about virginity, and it is, vaguely. I’d like to quote fifty shades of grey at you here “and then he ripped through my virginity”. I’d like to assure readers this doesn’t happen, and if it does it’s not a good thing. Even most submissives don’t like agonising pain for the hell of it. I am of the opinion that your first sexual experience shouldn't be with a man twice your age, who your not actually in any kind of relationship with. Call me old fashioned, I may not believe sex before marriage will get you smitten down by god, but I think there should always be some emotion behind sex. 

My main problem with the book is it’s whiny, yes I’ve read worse fan fiction, but the characters are over dramatic and the entire plot is unrealistic. Also it’s not rape, but it doesn’t actually portray a proper BDSM lifestyle you’re given the impression Mr. Grey is an experienced dom, but he loses control and spanks whatsherface without her consent, and without a safe word. This is pretty much abuse, and such a lapse in control does not make for a good dominant.

I still have high hopes for the film though.

Here is some better BDSM twilight fan fiction if you are this way inclined:

To Serve is Divine

Outtakes

Switches and Subs

Todostrieb

P.s sorry this post is late, I was ill L

The perfect sport for BDSM training

I'd like to devote this post to all the hot Olympic judo entrants, showcase particularly well by the cunning v in the shirt of their uniforms.

'oops'

My personal favourite is Ludwig Paischer from Austria, he won a silver in 2008 and his nickname is Lupo, which I assume means wolf. Seriously, who doesn't like to see hot guys beat each other up? It's been in the media for decades, James Bond, western movies, sci fi, Indiana Jones, Rocky....the list is endless really, it's so recurring and popular then surely they're on to something. It probably says something deep and meaningful about the human psyche that we enjoy violence so much, but when chests like these exist, why not?

As James pointed out, this form of controlled violence would make them the ideal candidates for a little BDSM, they can dish it out and stop well before it goes too far making a good dom, or equally they can take a little pain, who doesn't want to pull that cute blonde hair?

Todostrieb

Getting busy with my fetish...

Well well, I am sorry to say that I will not be able to give you your much deserved post of the day. Dear readers, please forgive me but I am sure you will understand as under such circumstances... you would have done the same.

As a prepping for today's post, I decided to spend all day yesterday (and good part of this morning for that matter) indulging in some of my favourite fetishes - as well as the normal stuff people do out there (or so I've heard). Well now I know how silly that was (no, of course I don't regret it, it was fucking amazing!), for some reason I actually believed it would be an excellent idea: I could do a clear analysis of fetishes and compare such experience with the "normal/common" thing; after all, it is known that often the best way to learn is through experience, right? Oh, I can say I have indeed learnt a lot, but what I didn't realise were the consequences that would come with the experience.

Fetishes are by definition arousing, often entertaining, sometimes amusing, but ALWAYS distracting. If you can walk away from your "fetish", if you can say "let's give the cat a rest and have some breakfast", or "enough with the swastika encrusted dildos already, I have maths homework", then it can hardly be described as a fetish. Fetishes are all consuming. When indulging in a fetish (with any degree of success) do not expect to have any kind of reasoned or clear thought. It should just be "my goodness, this spanking is magnificent!" all the way.You can therefore see how I was not about to take out the laptop to report my findings, however interesting and entertaining they were.

"Bestiality killed the cat" - should have given it a rest

At this point, I would like to specify that by fetish I don't mean "give me your shoes or I will not be able to cum" but rather "yes, this is nice... now tie me up and make it even better!" So my advice is... you won't know until you try! Sure not all fetishes are suited for everyone, each person has different sexual preferences, but in Italy they say "il mondo e' bello perche' vario" which is a nicer way of saying: if we were all the same, the world would be a pretty shitty and boring place to live in.

Don't live closed up, escape the daily routine, explore, have fun! I am sure there is a fetish out there for you to discover and remember, it does not have to be taken to the extreme. It doesn't even have to be a regular thing, just a way of spicing things up with your partner every now and again; never underestimate the importance of a good sex life ;)

Pretending to be sims... try it it's fun! (as in "haha" fun, not "hot" fun)

So what are you waiting for? Go on, there is the whole of internet to explore (unless you have a fetish for homo-journal, which would be totally understandable).

Well I need to get back to my "unutterable deeds" and I will see you next week!

Love,

Miu xx

P.S. Don't forget to e-mail us at homojournal@gmail.com for any questions, comments, request or if you are bored and have nothing better to do. We are available 24/7 (that is 24 minutes every 7 hours) so try your luck!

BDSM for dummies

For the people who have always been curious, but too embarrassed to ever research this.

Dom: The person who inflicts the pain/pleasure and is in control. Otherwise known as domme (for female doms). Often given a nickname dependant on the level of the dom/sub relationship e.g. daddy or sir

Sub: The submissive, can be known as pet or slave, again dependant on the level of relationship.

Scene: A scene is a one time bdsm experience - it is possible to enact scenes with people you may not have an intimate relationship with.

Collaring: sub/dom pairs who do more than just the occasional scene may choose to literally put a collar on the sub, as a sign they are in that kind of relationship, normally used by more serious couples.

Munch: A meet up of many like minded people who want to meet potential new dom/subs or just socialise.

Sensation play: literally playing with the senses, normally involves cutting one off (such as using blindfolds) and different textures and temperatures, like ice and hot wax.

Edge play: the dangerous stuff: knives and blood basically  

Contract: despite its reputation for danger and abuse, the people who are serious about this lifestyle are normally very careful to ensure that all parties involved are safe; this sometimes involves a literal contract before, stating what will happen if things do actually go wrong

Soft limits: any experienced dom/sub will have a list of things they do and don’t like, just because you like some aspects of bdsm doesn’t mean you’re going to like them all. A soft limit is something you’re concerned about but would be willing to try given the right situation. For example a dom might be unwilling to try using proper whips until they felt they had adequate training.

Hard limits: things you would never consider. It’s an abuse of trust for a dom to break a hard/soft limit without prior permission.

Safe word: sometimes things do just get too much, a sub or even a dom can yell a word and everything will stop, at once. My favourites are physics related, no one will ever mistake “thermodynamics” as a cry of passion. When using gags often a bell can be used as a substitute for a safe word. NEVER PLAY WITHOUT A SAFEWORD READY!

Vanilla: refers to inexperience, such as a dom or sub new to the lifestyle. Can also refer to non bdsm relationships/sex, a dom or sub may choose to have 'vanilla' sex from time to time. 

Play safe my little readers,

Todostrieb