What's mine is mine, so hands off bitch!

My idea of swinging

I am the Queen of the world!

Others' idea of swinging

I want to have sex with your partner for a night, do you want mine?

My idea of sharing

omnomnom just like Lady and the Tramp

Others' idea of sharing

Of course your other girlfriend can come

My idea of open relationship

The world deserves to know how nauseating we are

Others' idea of open relationship

Whose turn is it tonight?

Obviously people have different opinions, but my ideas look way more fun, cute and happy, why change them?

Reasons for swinging according to Wikipedia

1- Increased quality, quantity and frequency of sex.

One does not have to be a nymphomaniac to appreciate sex; some are never satisfied and just want more.  This is largely determined by testosterone levels, though it might also be induced by some sort of trauma (daddy issues?). Either way, I can understand that one may want a lot of sex, but is this a good justification? Why would anyone want to have sex with someone who isn't me? Let's not be ridiculous. Want more sex? Take a week off, no need to get other couples involved.

2- To add variety into an otherwise conventional sex life.

Though I understand this reason, I don't believe swinging is necessarily the solution. There are plenty of ways to add variety; want to spice things up in bed? Have a look at our fetish week. Experiment, talk to each other, what you like, what you don't like, find ways that will satisfy both. Hey, you can even invite a third party if you really want.

3- Curiosity.

Now this, I'm ok with. It’s normal to be curious, and it is often good to experiment. If both parties agree, one can always try. Communication is, however, very important. The couple should talk about how this experience made them feel, and if there is even a slight discomfort, stop before it's too late.

4- A healthy outlet and means to strengthen the relationship.

If by "strengthen the relationship" one means: "that was horrible, I was thinking of you the whole time, I never want to have sex with someone else!" Then yes, I agree. However, if the response is more like "well that was fun, I enjoyed having sex with someone else, we should do it more often" then I fail to understand how it strengthens the relationship.

In my opinion, swinging is like "justified cheating". However, it is also true that a relationship is more than just sex, it is about the feelings behind it. I said swinging is like justified cheating, but that does not imply it is wrong unless I prove cheating is wrong. Cheating has become a synonym of betrayal. You no longer satisfy your partner enough, so he/she felt the need to compensate with someone else. One can't help but feel hurt by this. It brings discomfort and anger in a relationship and this is generally considered wrong. Some believe swinging is the solution to this, but how does the fact that both members agree to cheat on each other (cause cheating is having sex, or any sexual activity, with someone that is not your partner) make it any better? If I find out my boyfriend slept with someone else and I decided to then sleep with someone else too, is that any different?

My argument may be flawed, I'm not going to spend too much time on making a perfectly logical argument, but all I know is I would never want to have sex with someone other than my boyfriend (and I am not just saying it because I know he will read this). Nevertheless, lust and love are separate, and if he  had sex with someone else, was honest and open about it and still decided to come back to me (because I am obviously better) then I would welcome him back (though I am not saying I would be enthusiastic about it and this is not a form of encouragement *stares at boyfriend*). Maybe this shows I am a masochist, maybe I'm just stupid.

Someone once told me that cheating is often a symptom, rather than a cause, of problems in a relationship. Instead of looking for "outlets", one should look closer to figure out what is going on within. There is no point in being with someone if you find yourself looking forward to "swinging night" to sleep with someone else.

As always, I would be more than happy to hear your opinions on the matter, whether they are the same or - even better - different from my own.

Love,

Miu xx

P.S. Don't forget to e-mail us at homojournal@gmail.com for any questions, comments, request or if you are bored and have nothing better to do. We are available 24/7 (that is 24 minutes every 7 hours) so try your luck!