Just rip it off, quick as a bandaid

First of all, sorry for the delay, but I was being physically denied access to the computer, as someone was claiming my undivided attention and I was too lazy (and busy, to be fair) to have written it in advance.


Secondly, I don't know why I'm expected to know what are the Dos and Don'ts on introducing a boyfriend/girlfriend to parents. I try to avoid it as much as I can, maybe so should you. Why does one have to introduce them anyway? Is it really their business? Then again, I talk this way because my mother and I don't have a particularly good relationship; it is better for all involved if she does not know the details of my personal life. Would I like to have one of those relationships where mother and daughter tell each other everything? Sure! Unfortunately that is simply not possible with my mother, but let's not go off topic. Since I do not really know what you should or shouldn't do, I will simply limit my self to exposing one of my experiences.


It all started with a first date, leading to another, then another and another one again. During this time, my mom was blissfully unaware of my lack of innocence and always thought I was out with friends. Then came a time when my boyfriend invited me to a pool party at his house. Well, that was an opportunity I did not want to miss, I mean, he has a really big... house; but how to convince my mom? Seeing as my boyfriend lives too far away *glares at him* (actually did glare at him as he is right here), I would have to stay over (double yay... if you know what I mean). Now you may be wondering "well where's the problem in that?"; little do you know that my mother is super protective and lives in constant fear of me having sex (I think she just MIGHT have had to have gotten over it now). There was absolutely no way she was going to allow me to stay over a guy's house. 


My boyfriend decided to try to convince her, but I figured the knowledge that the guy involved was my boyfriend would just make the situation worse; so I decided to introduce him as a friend. He came over to my house, we had dinner with my mother and he was his usual charming self... except he decided to act gay thinking that might have helped to convince her. So maybe he is a bit (very) camp, but commenting on the "hot blondie" in The Mentalist was pushing it a bit too far. Anyway, the crucial moment arrived and he asked the question: "I am throwing this party on friday and I would love for her to come" (ok so it was an implied question). My mom can't really say no to other people so she gave me a look but said yes! Woop! And that is how my mother met him, not as my boyfriend, but simply as a friend (possibly gay). 


If you are thinking "but, but, does she not know he is your boyfriend now?". Yes, indeed she does, now, and I will get to that in just a minute. In the meantime, my mom kept bringing him up in conversations asking what he was up to and suff (apparently he has that effect... on some). She was really fascinated with his music, so during the "street pianos" event, she decided she wanted to go hear him play. I was quite surprised about it, but I agreed. On our way there I kept pondering on whether I should keep pretending he was just a friend or not; I just couldn't make my mind up (mostly I was frightened). Having spotted him on a piano, we started walking towards him and I realised "what if when we get there, he kisses me? Maybe it's better to give her a heads up" (ok so I also wanted to be able to act as a girlfriend around him) so what did I do? As swiftly as possible, in a totally non-chalant way, I blurted out: "Oh, by the way, we are going out now" and ran to greet him. 


So my advice? If you are scared but feel you should tell your parents, do it in a public and crowded place where they cannot harm you (it also allows you to run away and get lost in the crowd) and just get it out and done with as quickly as you can (though comprehensible enough for them not to feel the need to ask again). I also believe it is best to confront ONE parent, the most understandable one or the one you feel closest to, and leave it up to them to tell the other (because they will). This only applies if you are too nervous or frightened, otherwise I am sure a nice dinner with family would be nice. You could also introduce them first as a friend, kind of like a test-drive, to see how it goes and whether they get along, and then decide on the best approach.


That is all the safe advice I can give, my fellow homojournalists have already covered the most extreme cases ;)


Love,


Miu xx

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