I'm a bad bad homojournalist...

...and I'm sorry. 

for what 

i don't know

is there a way to use like a 2 penny

what are you typing

i'm not revealing weird sex things i do with R....

wait are you writing some weird erotica, because i'd rather you just email me that

adddaaaammmmm.. can you open it

Ok now that's enough -.-"

sorry again, pc was taken over by asmodeous... 

Back to topic. Sex Myths.... that's a tricky one, I can think of many myths, but not any that I actually believed. My mother informed me too well.. and tv.. and sex ed. 

So, the sex myth I thought was everybody knows what BDSM is. Apparently there are people who don't O.o.. My mother had to sit me down and explain to me.. "There are kinky people, and there are not so kinky people.. vanilla people..."

There are also people who look like lego.. 

Eli

ps, Asmodeous just actually reminded me of one.. "if you cum in a swimming pool or a bath, you can get someone pregnant" I actually believed this when I was about 11 :') Yes, I was a strange child.. But hey, this was when I also thought a tampon was one of them things that you put in the loo to keep it fresh smelling 

Fact or Fiction?

Because I am the culinary equivalent of a sloth I have decided to forgo kitchen tips in favour of rambling about sex myths? And as has been previously mentioned, the rise of google and sex education should hopefully be minimising unfounded horror stories. Although, saying that my main form of sex education has probably been romance novels, which we all know are 100% accurate.

If I know anything about sex (which really I don’t) it’s that everyone is different. A lot of what seem like strange myths or accepted fact can apply so some people but not others. For example, some people really like their ears being blown into….Mike, whereas the vast majority just find it slightly creepy.  Even the internet and your sex ed teacher do not know everything, my advice to you is simply DON’T PANIC.

Something I personally hate is the way sex gets spoken about in lots of magazines, they tend to put a lot of pressure on women to look/act certain ways and generally they focus on what your partner thinks about you. I read a “sex etiquette” article on the Cosmo website the other day which told me I should never have sex if I haven’t first shaved my legs. Seriously? It should matter more what you think, personally I like having shaved legs because they feel really smooth and awesome. Apparently, I should also round down the number of people I have slept with; I understand that it can be intimidating (not that this is an issue for me) but really this seems like a subtle form of slutshaming. It’s giving the idea that it’s wrong for a woman to have sex.  Although, More once had a weekly column where they used Barbie dolls to illustrate sex positions, which I found very amusing.

Embrace your inner slut.

So, remember to take everything you read/watch/hear/see with a pinch of salt. 

Lot's of love,

Todostrieb

Cakes give you food babies...sex gives you an actual baby

So there's been some confusion this week (more-so than usual) about which theme we're running with. It's either 'sex myths I thought were real' or 'cake'. I figured both were quite interesting so I'll just go with the flow.

Firstly, I'm in uni dorms. Catered uni dorms. There are no ovens. Thus....I BRING YOU...ZE MUG CAKES OF PEACE AND TRANQUILLITY....

Or if you are so inclined....

If you go for the chocolate use real coco powder, not hot-chocolate which has added milk and sugar, which generally, you know, fucks shit up.

Here are the recipes...

http://blogs.babble.com/family-kitchen/2011/11/18/8-easy-recipes-you-can-make-in-a-mug/

That page also has a variety of interesting mug experiments for me to try later. And to think! People laughed at me when I bought cooking ingredients from tesco, despite not having a kitchen. 

Confession time...my mug cake looked more like this...

But, it tasted fine, which is better than most of my culinary exploits. So, let us move on.

Sex myths? Are there still any around, I didn't think so. We all get taught sex ed (well almost everyone in the UK does) from a young age. I remember being traumatised by a cartoon couple tickling each other with feathers....in sex ed as a child.

Anyway, over a year ago now, I started a job with a charity called the Terrence Higgins Trust. It was actually set up by Mr Higgins to help gay men suffering from HIV...but now it's expanded to catch, treat and educate about sexual diseases in all young people across the country. Here are some of my favourite sex myths people have asked me about, or told me while I have been working.

1. You can get chlamydia from a toilet seat
2. You can get chlamydia from kissing
3. A condom protects from all sexual diseases
4. Coldsores can't cause genital herpes
5. There's a cure for HIV now

These are all false.

It wasn't uneducated people who believed these, it wasn't stupid people, it was people just like you an me, who just listened to the wrong sources of information.

Anyway children,

Be safe,

Mel

PS//

This is a cuddly chlamydia germ : D isn't he cute?

Drawing on my limited experience

Having never really engaged in PDA I also feel somewhat under qualified for this post but I'll give it a go.

When my girlfriend and I first started dating I had not been 'out' for very long and so was slightly uncomfortable engaging in PDA (which my awesome girlfriend was awesome about). But now we are both at university and often don't see each other for 6 weeks at a time (which really sucks) so I am going to take advantage of all of the 46 hours I will see her for next weekend and f**k what anyone else thinks.

Despite that, there is a limit of what anyone needs to see any couple doing, regardless of their gender, and there does reach a point where you maybe need to relocate to a slightly more private location. (for the reference of everyone ever - under a tree does not count because we can still see you!)

Becky

Embarrassing moments

I am currently locked outside my house, sitting on the pavement as I wait for a locksmith. People walk by and look at me suspiciously; I wonder what they might be thinking. Now, before you start judging too, let me clearly state that none of this was my fault.

My very clever boyfriend had stayed over at my house. The next morning I had duties to fulfil at the Zoo, so we head out around 9:30. However, on our way out of the door my dear clever boyfriend decides it would be a good idea to leave the keys in the lock while closing the door behind him! Granted he did not do it on purpose (I would hope), we are now stuck outside, with a key which is now worthless and no phones. In fact, my door is one of those silly doors which automatically locks when you close it and cannot be opened if there is already a key inserted on the other side. Fortunately the wi-fi still reaches and he was able to look up and call a locksmith using Skype; the miracles of modern technology.

Anyway, sitting outside looking like a hobo-burglar (hobo = homeless)I receive an SOS cry from Rory who found himself unable to write his posts and asking me to cover for him. Due to my situation, I highly doubt this will be possible, however I began thinking about Public Displays of Affection and what possible reasons we might have to discuss them. Of course I have not read any of my fellow homojournalists, but I came up with two main reasons why PDA may be a source of "anxiety"(or however you want to call it):

1. Personal Embarrassment - When your boyfriend/girlfriend is just plain embarrassing like mine so you just don't want to be associated with them and you either pretend you don't know them or are just friends. Quite horrid and non-sensical stuff really. Why be with someone if you are embarrassed of them? Unless you are into the secrecy of an adultery. Hence why I don't ACTUALLY avoid being seen with the clever guy who locked me out of my house! Though he often does embarrass me a little bit, I don't mind it too much cause I'm not embarrasse OF him. One small two-letter word makes a huuuge difference. I wouldn't change him for anything v.v
2. Societal Disapproval - The reason why I'm guessing this theme made it's way to the "theme pool". Getting back on the LGBT theme, people often stare and judge when they see two people of the same sex engaging in PDAs. Many, in fact, feel insulted when they witness such effusions. I say f***k them. One should never be ashamed to be themselves, which should inlude being yourself with your "other half", come on people! You should not care what THEY think, they have nothing to do with you. 

Whichever the reason, get over it and just be happy. Obviously KEEP IT LEGAL, but apart from that, don't be ashamed to show how you feel about someone. If you are still nervous, try after a few drinks ;)

Yeah... that's really all I have to say. Btw I did eventually get access to my house again, in case you were wondering. Also, by now I'm kind of tipsy so kind of not thinking straight and I really want to finish watching Juno so bye bye.

Love,

Miu xx

P.S. no, this post was not written in one go.

We need to talk about PDA.. or maybe not

Throughout this week, I have been pestering random people about their opinions on PDA. The most frequent answer I got was "What, them gadgety thingies?". To most, PDA = personal digital assistants...
People don't really care about public displays of affection. Or maybe, that's just an unused term in England. Once I explain to the said people, the common answer was "Why should you care about what other people think? If I want to kiss my gf/bf, I will".

Opportunistic PDA >.< 'T'is like the only times me and Rafaello are the same height......  

I'm not too keen on PDA. My slight aversion to PDA stems from the modest asian mixed with my conservative grandmother's teachings, and my bitter periods of single-ness, in which the mere sight of couples, casually PDA-ing brought out the lime-jello monster in me. I'd see couples EVERYWHERE. I used to stare daggers. That habit has stuck.

Although, currently I am happy, I don't see couples much at all.  (jesus, I'm beginning to sound like a crazy person.. "I see PDA...... all the time") . The only couples that have come to my attention are those that go over-the-top, and are in the way.

Last week, on the tube, this something like this happened... and they blocked the door I was supposed to leave through :'(

So, YAY for PDA, but keep it PG, don't go over the top and make people awkward. As for lgbt PDA, I don't mind it. I like lgbt PDA, I find it cute, and it's spreading awareness. Why should you be ashamed, just because you're lgbt? (gee, perhaps I'm a hypocrite?). When me and Mel dated, I suppose we must have made some people awkward e.g. our deputy-head of sixth form college... urk. I never had any bad experiences with LGBT PDA, however, there are still communities out there, who react negatively to shows of homosexuality. If you do feel like PDA is putting you in any kind of danger, it's probably best to keep it private. Holding hands is not worth getting beat up over... or is it? 

In April 2011, there was a protest at a pub in Soho that kicked out a gay couple for "obscene kissing"...

read guardian article

Damn, I think I rambled again. 
Hopefully, I made some sense.. somewhere. 
Till next time,

Eli

That bitch stole my title

I think this is always going to be a case of use your common sense. It doesn't really bother me, apart from watching Mel, who is my actual sister, or Eli who is like my sister…

That doesn't mean to say that it’s okay to whip out the handcuffs on a trip to the local shopping mall though, think moderation. There might be kids watching you. In fact, this should be something that puts you off.

I confess I am probably guilty of too much PDA in the sixth form common room, but that was ages ago. But hey, I have to creep out ex-boyfriends and mark my territory somehow right?  James mentioned parties, I'm not sure if that actually counts as public or not, in our group of friends coming across a mating pair is no cause for alarm. 

No alarm here. 

In respect to LBGT I'm of the opinion your orientation shouldn't matter, do what you like, but if people are actually offended/ feel awkward because of your behaviour (for non-homophobic reasons) it’s still polite to stop. And if you really have to be within a 2cm radius of your significant other at all times, why did you agree to go out where there are other people, especially friends who might demand some of your precious attention? Living in bed is the answer, with slaves to bring you food and drink. 

I've been doing some research on this topic, and apparently LBGT’s find PDA to be a minefield of issues. It’s sad that we live in a world where you might not feel safe holding someone’s hand. I like to think attitudes are slowly changing, in England you’re definitely more likely to be glared at than openly harassed, which is an improvement on a few years ago I'm sure. My advice to you, if someone is glaring skip off into the sunset still holding hands and forget about them.

:'(

Lots of love,

Todostrieb

P.s. Mike wanted an honorary mention, so here it is: we kissed in public once and the kraken only temporarily threatened to destroy Chelmsford, but was tamed by my great and terrible beauty. 

PDA's, yay, nay or different for gay?

Alas, I did not come up with that title myself. ('Alas' was one of the words I used to help me remember the amino acid 'Alanine, Ala' on my last exam, you can probably guess the reasons for the post muddle up).

PDA's? Never! How dare you show that much wrist in public...DEAR GOD, is that an ankle I see? *Swoon*

One is not amused

My real opinion on PDA's? Go for it, do what you like, when you like where you like. If there are children around keep it PG, but realistically even 3 year olds have seen Megara and Hercules snog, so, decency is a little different to what it once was.

If you're gay, black white, or a rainbow stripe flying fish, same applies.

Of course, it's your choice, people have different levels of comfort with the touchy feely stuff, especially in public. I mean sure, if this world was Mel land it would be a den of decadence and nerdiness in nearly equal measures (also pizza). But, sadly I am yet to come into my magical inheritances, despite being of age. Moral of the story, until I am your unquestioned leader (best put it in your diary for next thursday) then do as you please kind sirs.

Now, onto Mel's real topic of the week, her next exam. Excitable tissues, sadly a lot less exciting as the name promises. If only the dreary drudgery of multiple choice questions would be broken by affection of any kind. Alas (my new word of the day) I am left with the emotionless voice of Dr H and my hundreds of flash cards.

Lots of Love Mel

PS//

Pain fibres:

'C'  Carry Crude touch
'A' pain Arises Abruptly and is blocked by Asphyxiation

Enjoy those pain fibres you hardcore rebel, you...

I feel underqualified for my blog post, hooray.

Public displays of affection (one of the many-varied terms shortened to that most put-upon of acronyms, P.D.A), are a sort of grey area for me. I mean, I've had experience of displays of affection, yes, but very few of them ever really public, per se, and so I don't really know what to write about.

So this should be fun.

To be fair, I'm always like this.

If, by "public", we include parties, then I at least have something to write about. Last week I mentioned a party me and Cretzal attended (the one where he didn't sing "Kiss From A Rose" to me), and we kissed a couple of times then (rendering the father's clueless naïvety even more inexplicable). No-one threw drinks at us or drew pentagrams round us, but we were among friends, so they'd at least have asked permission to do so beforehand anyway.  

And, due to my somewhat static love-life, that's most of my experience covered. I mean, I've been kissed in bars/pubs, but always with either my friends Mike (of Todostrieb fame) and Jyoti (of no Homojournal fame whatsoever) nearby to protect me/cheer me on, or by someone large enough to punch any annoyances into atoms anyway. I've kissed someone else round  one of my other friend's houses, but everyone else was watching a movie and we were at the back of the room, so it was hardly primetime viewing. I'm really not very qualified for this.

Why can't this week be about the Potash Development  Association, or Personal Digital Assistants?

...well. Once, me and a friend, who I shall give the moniker "Joey", strayed into P.D.A territory. In the park with friends, we held hands. Nothing exploded (get your mind out of the gutter), no-one got shot (stop it), and there were no screams (I give up). Afterwards, we went back to his, and you don't get to know about that because, while affectionate, it wasn't public, so ner-ner-ne-ner-ner. 

On the way home the next day, we held hands on the bus, and we kissed repeatedly. There were feral youths on the bus, as well as elderly females, and neither group paid us any more attention than they would a heterosexual couple, or a black man carrying shopping. We were accepted, which was extraordinarily lovely.

And I suppose that's all I can say on the matter, really. Once, I engaged in true PDA, and I didn't get singled out as a witch or a heathen, and I think it should (and possibly will be) the same for all our readers.

Yours happily,

James

Me: I need to think of a pseudonym for Joey.
Brain: Try his middle name on Facebook.
Me: Ah yes, a foolproof plan.

I'd make a crap spy.

I may be drunker than I think I am...

I may not be quite as drunk as some of the others while doing this (one glass of wine is fine when your alone, more than yhat is slightyl sad - or at least that is what I'm telling ymself). My aim for this is to answer all of the questions without sappily rrunk tesxting my girfriend (which I havr a tendency to do)

Describe each of the homojournal writers in a few sentences. 

Umm, I've only acually met Mel and she's lovely, the others seem cooll too (based on facebok intera\ctions). I was planning on reading their old posts but forgot and not sure I can pay neough attentiont to thenm right nowf

Say which LGBT issue you feel most strongly about and why

Kindof feel like most of the others by saying equal marriage

Would you rather have a horse the size of a rabbit, or a rabbit the size of a horse- explain your reasoning in no less than 200 words.

I reckon that a rabbit the size of a horse woyuld be cool, althpough that may be because of easter bunny in rise of the guarians...

Summarise the entire world LGBT history in no more than 200 words (ie what you think everyone... absolutely everyone should be told)

my brain has gone kindof blank

Embarrassing confession
I can't think of the last embarrassing thing I did, unless an awkward conversation with my girlfriend counts - there had been a slight miscommunication about her sexual orientation (but not just by me!) but I'd need to drink more wine before I'd repeat tbat

Your weirdest dream

I can't remember the last dream I had, let alone the las\t weircd dream but one of my friends has had multiple dreams where she has killed me - in one she pusdhed me off a bridge and in another she burnt down our school, knowing that I was still inside. I don't know why I am still frineds with her...

Happiest moment you can think of (first thing that pops in your mind, no cheating! But fairly serious, don't you dare say stuff "eating a chocolate bar")

Going to visit my girlfriend at her unin lasts term was really nice, even if we did both wake up boiling hot - she has a reaqlly thick duvet! Good greif, I'm sappy right now

Would you rather kill someone you love to end a war in a foreign country, or kill someone you hate and thereby start one?

I don't know... it would probably depnd on the person... but then agin, would getting to kill a girl from school that I hatee (who is irritatingly at the same uni as me) jsutify a war?

Assign a Pokemon to each Homojournalist, and justify it.

I've never watched/played pokemon and can probably only name about threee...
 

If you could go back and change something about your life what would it be?(I'm not sure if I'm meant to answer this since I wrote it but whatever)

there is a someone that I decided to trust again who I shouldn't have becasue she turned into a bitch. again.

If you were stuck on a deserted island which one book, movie and person would you want to take along?

(ditto with tbhis one) can I jsut take my kindle? that's got enough stuff on it to ladst me a whiel and that counts right?... film I'd probably take goodnight mister tom because I love it to pieces. person, I'd take my girlfriend because despite being tiny, she'd be helpful for survivong in the wild - she has a bpok on poisons

Who, other than your significant other, would we have to give you for sexy-times to get you to give us all your money?

Scarlett Johansson is pretty

Since I don't have to answer this question and everybody else does, who would you rather 'have'/'do'/etc - Justin Bieber or One Direction?

do I really have to do either of them? if it do, probably one direction, but jsut because I know an awesome parofy to what makes you beautiful

Biggest regret/worst thing you've done whilst drunk

I' don't think I've ever done anything that bad whilst drunk (most of my friends from home either don't drink or drink very little so with them I don't drink much either) but I could tyell you multiple embarassing things said to me by the girl I shouldn't have trusted when ew were both drunk (her more than me)

Now I've come to look at this while sober, I'm realising that I completely lose all ability to type without autocorrect when I drink and that the fact that I didn't eat much at dinner probably meant I was drunker than I thought.

I am druuuunk

And I am cold and have confesed all my sins to my boyfriend so that's alright. Here are the questions:

1. Describe each of the homojournal writers in a few sentences. 

Erm, ok...

James - he used to be my best friend and we both screwed lots of things up. He's evil and creepy, one of the weirdest guys ever, always trying to fit in

Mel - she's... clever, though in constantt need to be put down. what can I say, she's submissive and likes to be bitten. she's cool.

Todostrieb - the twin, very lazy and eccentric. you need some time to really get to knoe her. has been enoying herself with a fuckbuddy lol

Eli - cutest and definitely weirdest japanese girl. She's very sweet but obsessed on pickling me and putting me in a jar

Rory - we have our disagreements and he disappointingly looks over our descriptions, but he's alright and a talented musician who writes very good complaint letters

Becky - reall the only one who knows her is Mel but I admire her courage to join us and hope she can stand our weirdness (she can't be that normal if she's friends with Mel)

2. Say which lbgt issue you feel most strongly about and why

why the hell are there any issues!!! grow up people!!

3. Would you rather have a horse the size of a rabbit, or a rabbit the size of a horse- explain your reasoning in no less than 200 words.

A... not sure, neither. A rabbit the size of a horse can b hugely cus=ddly but those teeth very painful, while a horse the size of a rabbit would be cute but useless to ride on

4. Summarize the entire world LGBT history in no more than 200 words (ie what you think everyone... absolutely everyone should be told)

They like sex as much as anyone

5. Embarrassing confession

I'm only with my boyfriend because of the good sex, that's a lie he made me tell. The truth is I am willing to do anything for him, he is the most important thin to me. 

6. Your weirdest dream

I don't really have dreams or remembr them, however one of my recnt dreams did involve Sergei, the meerkat, Sergei the meerkat ghost and a magical neckless.

7. Would you rather kill someone you love to end a war in a foreign country, or kill someone you hate and thereby start one?

I simply can't consider killing anyone

8. Assign a Pokemon to each Homojournalist, and justify it.

Sorry, this requirest straight thinking, i shall deal with it tomorrow, i take pokemon seriously.

9. If you could go back and change something about your life what would it be? 

My mother/family situation or gaining a particular person's trust

10. If you were stuck on a deserted island which one book, movie and person would you want to take along?

Difficult... book God of Small Things like James, a movie i haven't seen and... probs my boyfriend :S

11. Who, other than your significant other, would we have to give you for sexy-times to get you to give us all your money?

Ian Somerhalder

12. Since I don't have to answer this question and everybody else does, who would you rather 'have'/'do'/etc - Justin Bieber or One Direction?

One Direction equals more than one, whooop

My boyfriend has now fallen asleep and i am very tired, night.

Thank god I don't get hangovers.

The thing I like about weeks like this is that it gives me a perfect excuse to go to the pub and spend an insane amount of my student loan getting rat arsed and singing Do You Hear the People Sing and other out-of-tune selections from Les Misérables and various other west end and broadway (and some not) shows. It's much fun, and I definitely did not spend most of last night doing exactly that and drooling over pictures of Eddie Redmayne...

"Do you hear the church bells ring?"

Where was I?

Oh yeah, I have to write stuff about people and Homo-Journalists. This seems like an excellent plan and there is absolutely nothing at all that can possibly go wrong.

I promise.

1. Describe each of the Homo-Journalists in a few sentences.
Oh christ...

2. Say which LGBT issue you feel most strongly about and why.
Well, equal marriage has to be right up there... personally I prefer the term 'marriage' or 'human rights', but if calling it the fight for equal marriage means my wedding to Eddie Redmayne and Ben Whishaw is legal, then I'm willing to compromise.

Wait, I'm not allowed a polygamous marriage? Fucking hell, government, stop trying to tell me what to do.

3. Would you rather have a horse the size of a rabbit, or a rabbit the size of a horse? Explain your reasoning in no less than 200 words
I had a decent answer to this when I was sober... pretty sure it'll come back to me, gimme time. For now I'm just gonna say horse the size of a rabbit, cos it'd be kinda cute, I guess.

4. Summarise the entire LGBT world history in no more than 200 words.
Erm... God made Adam and Steve, the world was somehow populated with morons who persecuted and did horrible unspeakables to the descendants of Adam and Steve, then some people started rioting because they didn't like it and ever since then we've all gone to this thing called 'Pride' and dress in rainbows and drag and have lots of alcohol and sex. Jelly babies and Vodka?

5. Embarrassing confession?
I don't think I've got any clean pants for tomorrow :(

6. Weirdest dream?
I had a really weird dream once after having eaten some cheese which my friends gave me for christmas... I'd been taken captive by some woman and put through a series of gruelling and life threatening tests. I survived, then I had to watch someone else do it and they went up the wrong staircase and 'died'... apparently going up that staircase is what forced the woman to become a transvestite and that it twisted her mind so much that she wanted the world to exist only of people who could pass this test and if they failed they'd get converted like she was... It was horrible, I'd rather not think about it.

Come to think of it, I think we'd had a Rocky Horror Picture Show night the day before and I saw far too many of my guy friends in drag and corsets, that might have something to do with it....

7. Would you rather kill someone you love to end a war in a foreign country, or kill someone you hate and thereby start one?
Who thought up this question?! It's utterly morbid, I'd clearly do both.

8. Happiest moment you can think of? (this was actually supposed to be number 7, but I forgot about it so it can go here instead where the question before thiss should have gone... oh god why am I this drunk?)
I got an A+ on my first uni essay the other day... guess I was pretty chuffed at that.

9. Assign a Pokemon to each Homo-Journalist and jsutify it.
The only ones I know are Pickachu and Squirtle. So I'll let my esteemed colleagues argue over who can be who.

Pickachu and Squirtle are both Pokemon, right?

10. (HOW MANY MORE OF THESE DO I HAVE TO DO?! I NEED SLEEP!!!!!!!) If you could go back and change something about your life, what waould it be?
I dunno, maybe I'd have done more piano and bassoon practice? Started the bassoon earlier? Probably something like that. These questions are far too deep and philosophoical for me to be answering at this level of intoxiacation.

11. If you were stuck on a desert island with a book and a person and film, which would you take?
Can I choose the island I'm stranded on too? Pretty sure there's one somewhere that's full of hot guys, I'll go there please. And I'll take Ben Whishaw or Eddie Redmayne with me (can I take them both and sacrifice the film or book?). I have lost all memory of books I've read besides the Harry Potter series, so I'll take one of those at random, and for the film, I'll take my netflix subsription. Lots of films there.

12. Who, other than your significant other, would we have to give to you for sexy-times in order for you to give us all your moneys?
As he mentioned on that day that starts the week off that he psots on, James knows the true answer to this question, but I'll just say Ben Whishaw or Eddie Redmayne. omnomnomnom.

13. Since I don't have to answer this questiona nd everybody else does, who would you rather 'have'/'do'/etc - Justin Bieber or One Direction?
Not gonna lie, however I answer this will make me sound like a peedo (I can't spell it right now, soz), so let's just go for one direction becuase there's more of them.

Who was the 'I' in teh question? I have a feeling it was me, actually... :/ oh well.

14. Biggest regret/worst thing you've done while drunk?
Apparently I harassed my friend's girlfriend about her fringe once, without knowing what the word for fringe was... I have no recollection of this incident and neither does my friend's girlfriend, so I'm just assuming that it never happened at the world is a massive lie.

(I'm not actually sure if my friend and her girlfriend are even girlfriend and girlfriend, or ever have been, if either of you are reading this, I'm sorry :/ )

Yours drunkenly and inocherenetly,
Rory

PS - I didn't get progressively more drunk here as my poor spelling and typing might suggest (if anything I'm more sober now that I was when I started, but not by much), I just gave up caring about that inconvenience we call grammar.

PPS - we should do more of htese, they're strangely fun. Next time, I'll write mine in the pub, not afterwards in my room at some unearhtly hour of the morning.

PPPS - Can you have this many 'post's in a post script?

PPPPS - As a disclaimer, I'd like to point out that the oipininos and views and stuff in this post shouldn't be taken seriously as most of it is actually the alcohol talking. (I'm actually a really nice person.)

PPPPPS - someone stop me now.

DrUnk PoST wEEk

Describe each of the homojournal writers in a few sentences. 

Eli (me) - The short one. Brown Hair, dark eyes. Bah.

Rory - He the brilliant, organised daddy of the group 

James - He's a fragile looking thing, but he bites.. 

Todostrieb - She's my mutti, ever-changing hair, stands on her tiptoes, has boobs. 

Miu - big eyes, has a self-proclaimed nice arse, she's like a beautiful china doll, but she's evvvilll :D

Mel - doctor mel, blond but not in the stereo-typical way, short

Becky - I don't know. She's purdy in the pics (via facebook stalking), but think perhaps we need to have a welcome-becky picnic :D

Say which LGBT issue you feel most strongly about and why

I don't like the fact that it's still considered abnormal, and people aren't so out and open about it. Why? - because I'm not comfortable being out out to my family... 


Would you rather have a horse the size of a rabbit, or a rabbit the size of a horse- explain your reasoning in no less than 200 words.

A giant rabbit. The rabbit the size of a horse would be awesome. You could ride it. It's be like a cute hippo thingy, until it bites your face off.... 

Think about it: having a horse the size of rabbit would be cute in a barbie-horse-y way.. .think of it's ikkle hoooooves!! But you can't ride it. Rideable rabbit wins. 


Summarise the entire world LGBT history in no more than 200 words (ie what you think everyone... absolutely everyone should be told)

God created adam and eve... then there was Steve... Socrates and the ancient greeks had something with their younger boys... (apparently) Tribes in Papa New Guinea have (had) a ritual were young men are to give BJs to their village elders, to drink in their "wisdom"... Also, in the west, homosexuality was illegal (jail and doom-gloom), stuff happened, then it was legalised, then aids..And now we have GAY-PRIDE... and some countries allow gay-marriage..... but still there are countries where it's illegal (think death-penalty) due to religious pushes.. :'(

Oh, and there is an island off of greece full of lesbians... Although that's nothing compared to the yearly DIANA-SHORE gathering... :D

Embarrassing confession
When I was younger I poured water onto someone's mattress to make it seem like they wet the bed... I ended up getting caught, and mutti made me sit there with a hair-dryer for two hours.. :')


Your weirdest dream

I don't have weird dreams... well, maybe the ver vivid rape dream was weird... or the dream where I was sowing together eggs, bunnies and clouds....because they were made of the same substance >.<


Happiest moment you can think of (first thing that pops in your mind, no cheating! But fairly serious, don't you dare say stuff "eating a chocolate bar")

CHEESE BURGERS... 

Would you rather kill someone you love to end a war in a foreign country, or kill someone you hate and thereby start one?

I don't like this question... I'd choose "kill someone you hate.. blah blah", but I don't think you should kill someone for any other means other to kill them. It's silly otherwise.. why do we have to have ulterior motives?

If you could go back and change something about your life what would it be?
I wouldn't change anything.. I like how things have turned out... WHAT IF I COME BACK TO TH PRESENT AND WE HAVE FLYING COWS??? 
oh Goddy, imagine milking it... 

If you were stuck on a deserted island which one book, movie and person would you want to take along?

I'd probably take Catch-22, I haven't read it yet.. I was going to say The Bible or The Koran, but I'd probs regret that... I've never managed to get past the first couple of pages.. plus, I'd feel guilty if I had to burn it for fire-wood. 

Movie. Why would you take a movie? which desert island has cinema system? *sighs* 

I'd take Inception. It's hard to understand, and there's Ellen Page in it :D 

Person?  My bestfriend-turned-boyfriend :D

Who, other than your significant other, would we have to give you for sexy-times to get you to give us all your money?

urmmmmmmm.... Ellen Page....

Since I don't have to answer this question and everybody else does, who would you rather 'have'/'do'/etc - Justin Bieber or One Direction?

As tempting as JB is, with all of his lesbian-ish features, he seems a bit jerky. One Direction, as theres more of them >.< tho, Just Harry will do... noms :D 

Biggest regret/worst thing you've done whilst drunk

Heres's a transcript of the James-eli drunkenness recording:

eli: no.1; yourself

James: it hasn't started yet

eli: it has

James: BOO.. it has.. me…. well, evidently I don't trust technology…. *laughs* I genuinely think I am better than the other homojournalists, I'm wrong. *laughs*

James: I like alcohol, I genuinely end up in the worst relationships known to man.. yea… thats a good decision eli, more vodka!

eli: yea, more vodka rasberries?

James: I think your phone has switched itself off… 

eli: it hasn't, it's still recording

James: dammit

eli: Rory?

James:Rory… I *sighs* didn't really *sighs* - why are you offering me alcohol that still has the stalk on it? 

eli: *laughs* yea

James: - totally healthy - it has green on it - 

eli: - it's one of our 5-a-days'

James: *laughs*

eli: Rory?

James: I barely knew rory in lower sixth

eli: mmhmm

James: -and then in lower sixth all of a sudden homojournal happened.. then.. Whhhatttt? -He's brilliant. He needs to be less up-himself.. . but still.. 

eli: he's brilliant

James: he IS brilliant

eli: he's the… *laughs* I was going to say "he's the daddy".. 

James: *laughing* He's the daddy-o… Yea, he's kinda the Dad of Homojournal.. not THE leader, which we don't have a leader, because we're.. a group… but.. he's good… 

........

This was too much like homework :")
eli x