Cheap white wine is good for the soul...

Eli, Rory, James and I are all doing this on the same night; it doesn’t count as drinking alone if you’re chatting online with people right? And also am drinking cheap white wine like the classy bitch I am. I wanted to edit this the morning after because I've written some pretty awkward stuff, which you probably don't need to know. Also drunk me seems to have got confused and answered the questions I chose and deleting others. I've referenced someone called Mike quite a lot because I was speaking to him as I wrote this post, he's kind of my fuckbuddy, but more of a friend. 

Describe each of the homojournal writers in a few sentences. This might fail slightly as I can’t really remember everyone’s code name…someone will have the delightful job of editing all these posts I’m sure.

• James- (insert mean comment about him and my ex here), he puked on my carpet and yet I still find it hard to hold a grudge, this is probably deeply indicative of my personality…
• Mel- she’s my twin and she’s frighteningly similar to me, although ovbs I am the prettier one while she is smarter than me.
• Miu- has an ear fetish, she is probs the hottest homojournalist (and I’m sure I’ll regret saying that when sober) but she is also evil.
• Rory, a Doctor Who nerd, and very good at music, he’s a pretty cool guy though, he braved IB HL physics with me :D
• Eli, one of my best friends, slightly odd…but we’re all mad here, and she’s purdy
• Becky…can’t even remember her code name and I don’t even know her that well but from my Facebook stalking she seems pretty cool.         

     Summarize the entire world LGBT history in no more than 200 words (ie what you think everyone... absolutely everyone should be told)
Gay/bi/trans people are just the same as straight people and people have only recently started realising this.

Embarrassing confession
I once made Sim versions of me and boyfriend (now ex) who were married. 

Your weirdest dream
The weirdest dream I’ve ever had was the zombie apocalypse and they hailed me as their queen, also their leader was my five year old sister :’(. And they threw tarot cards at me which stuck in my flesh…

Happiest moment you can think of (first thing that pops in your mind, no cheating! But fairly serious, don't you dare say stuff "eating a chocolate bar")
Not really sure about this one, I’m a lucky bitch and my childhood was pretty great. Passing the IB while on holiday with friends in Cannes was pretty awesome, but the millennium dome and suchlike with my family was cool.

Would you rather kill someone you love to end a war in a foreign country, or kill someone you hate and thereby start one?
Probably kill someone I love, maybe not devil child my little sister, but pretty much anyone else. I try to think about people I don’t personally care about as someone else’s younger sibling/ parent. Def. I would kill Mike to stop a war (sorry).

Assign a Pokemon to each Homojournalist, and justify it.
Honestly, I’m not a huge poke fan, I watched a few episodes of the original anime but only played the game minimally. Mui would probs be a slowpoke because she’s pretty lazy. Eli would probe be mew because she’s cute but also evil. I’ve always imagined James as Q-bone because he’s skinny. Becky…I really don’t know, squirtle? She seems like a water type. Mel, I could see as a bug type, other than that not sure. I have discussed this with Mike and his spirit Pokémon is a Gengar, which is fluffy and purple….

If you could go back and change something about your life what would it be? 
I have no big regrets (even drunk ones). There’s a few people I probably shouldn’t have made out with, but probably the biggest one is that I should have tried harder to take art (my mother told me she’d kick me out if I did). 

If you were stuck on a deserted island which one book, movie and person would you want to take along?
For the book totally Richard Siken’s book of poetry called Crush. I don’t enjoy rereading fiction that much, but often with poetry I’ll find myself thinking this poem describes exactly how I feel so accurately I need to read it NOW. The movie would be Donnie Darko, I’m not a huge movie person but every time I watch it I find something new to think about so it seems a safe bet, And the person would be Mike, because he’s good in bed, seems like he’d be helpful in a survival situation and can’t be that annoying because I’ve never had a proper argument with him.

Who, other than your significant other, would we have to give you for sexy-times to get you to give us all your money?
I have no significant other at the moment so it’s definitely gunna have to be Barack Obama, whom I could Blackmail and regain my fortune. If that’s not an option than def. John Barrowman, who is fucking hot. I would say Mike, but I don’t think I have to pay him to get naked anyways…

Since I don't have to answer this question and everybody else does, who would you rather 'have'/'do'/etc - Justin Bieber or One Direction?
Justin Bieber, I can’t be assed to remember all the names of people in one direction, so why bother? Justin needs to be corrupted anyways.

Biggest regret/worst thing you've done whilst drunk
I am pretty lightweight, so I have disgraced myself while drunk numerous times, involving lots of puke. Although this new years eve house party I went to has to top it all.  I made out with three random people, some of which while holding Mike's hand, and then I continued to rip off my own toenail and no one knows how…

P.s.  I know I related these to Mike, I’m not whipped…just drunk.

Lots of love,Todostrieb.

I swear to drunk officer I'm not God.

********Disclaimer...I was not actually drunk when writing this, though it may seem the case. I was just high on caffeine, exam stress and jelly legs from the gym. Also I'm insane. *********

Describe each of the homojournal writers in a few sentences.
James- Small, fluffy.
Todostrieb- Middle sized, probably sleeping.
Eli- Smallest, also has tiny hands.
Rory- Taller, musically talented.
Miu- Middle sized, has nice hair.
Becky- Tall, has nice eyes.

Say which lbgt issue you feel most strongly about and why.
Probably marriage. Selfishly, because it’s the one most likely to affect me...why shouldn't I be allowed to marry a girl in church?

Would you rather have a horse the size of a rabbit, or a rabbit the size of a horse- explain your reasoning in no less than 200 words.
I would like a rabbit the size of a horse, because he would love me and be a good body guard. Also, it’d be cute. I would like a rabbit the size of a horse, because he would love me and be a good body guard. Also, it’d be cute. I would like a rabbit the size of a horse, because he would love me and be a good body guard. Also, it’d be cute. I would like a rabbit the size of a horse, because he would love me and be a good body guard. Also, it’d be cute....etc

Summarize the entire world LGBT history in no more than 200 words (ie what you think everyone... absolutely everyone should be told).
The LGBT community is the same as any other...because sexuality doesn’t change who you are. Some of us are weird. Some straight people are too. Penis in bumholes is not disgusting, grow up.

Embarrassing confession.
I actually quite like JB.

What is love/ what does love mean to you?
“Love means never having to say you’re sorry.”

Where homosexuality arises from (what makes someone gay).
There’s increasing research to suggest that our sexuality is determined at birth. For example the majority of identical twins share sexuality. (According to my BHS lecture notes). For years we couldn’t explain finger prints, why should sexuality have a great mystery behind it? We’ll know soon enough, so speculation is a waste of time.

Happiest moment you can think of, first thing that pops in your mind, no cheating! But fairly serious, don't you dare say stuff "eating a chocolate bar".
Finishing my first exam this morning...this is the most recent, hence why I thought of it first. But, if you want a good one, holding my baby sister for the first time.

Would you rather kill someone you love to end a war in a foreign country, or kill someone you hate and thereby start one?
I don’t think I could ever kill someone...every possible decision they could have made is just wiped out. Death is like the ultimate restriction of free will.

Assign a Pokemon to each Homojournalist, and justify it.
Almost all my pokemon knowledge is from the first movies and series. So, I’m going to assign Ash’s charizard to be a general homojournal mascot. When he gets his head stuck in the pipe...he pretty much represents all of our awkwardness in one scene. Also, I love him.

If you could go back and change something about your life what would it be?
I WOULD HAVE REVISED MORE FOR THESE JANUARY EXAMS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! STUPID MEL.

If you were stuck on a deserted island which one book, movie and person would you want to take along?
Book, time travellers wife. Movie, V for vendetta (though this seems pointless without a DVD player or indeed, electricity). Person, one of those survival guides on TV who enjoy living on desert islands.

Who, other than your significant other, would we have to give you for sexy-times to get you to give us all your money?
An unlimited supply of anyone I wanted, whenever and however I wanted.

Who would you rather 'have'/'do'/etc - Justin Bieber or One Direction?
Depends on if I had to do all of 1D at the same time really...

Much Love,
Mel xxx

Business as usual.

I am the two small rectangles.

That was the post that appeared on our private FB group wall last night, from Eli. Why, you ask? What can cause this fine, even-tempered, upstanding young gentleman to become an unresponsive, slightly drooling puddle of boy on the sofa?

Homojournal, that's what.

Damn you.

You see, this week is "Drunk Post Week", and ideally we'd be answering the questions we've set each other in real time, typing while drunk, but, in a practically prescient display of forethought, Eli and I decided it'd be safer to record our ramblings, then transcribe what we said/meant to say.

Everything after 8) is being done hyped on Boost and Solpadeine instead, because:

1. I passed out;
2. I have no alcohol left;
3. I have a headache, and this kills two avianoids with one small, smooth rock.

~ Questions They Asked Me While Somewhat Tipsy ~

Describe each of the Homojournal writers in a few sentences. 

Mel: Well, she's blonde. Or brunette. I forget which. Let's go with black. I think. She'd make a great Queen, 'cos she'd make binge drinking for everyone but her the law, and she does medicine so she can heal us all afterwards.

Rory: When Wholock was created, it was with Rory in mind. We have an in-joke about one of our mutual friends in tight, white pants. Not so much an in-joke, really, as a mutual fantasy. This is weird.

Miu: Well, we have a history. It started when I kicked her in the head, and she walked after me menacingly like the girl from The Ring. It detoured through assault and madness.

Becky: Fresh meat! Erm, what? Anyway, I have little to say so far, seeing as I've yet to meet her. She seems nice, and I'm sure, being Mel's friend, she'll have some form of mental aberration.

Eli: My Mum knows her as "the strange girl" and my Dad knows her as "the one with odd hats". She gave me alcohol so obviously she's lovely.

Todostrieb: She has excellent fashion sense and boobs, and I've inherited a facial expression from her. We have shockingly identical taste in men.

EDIT: I've just read Todostrieb's scheduled post, and she references that last bit about her. So, um, yeah. I now feel awful that that wasn't my "Embarrassing confession" or "Biggest regret/worst thing you've done whilst drunk".

That's a lie, I don't feel bad at all, I was just talking to him while typing this post, I'm going to Hell.

Which LGBTQ issue you feel most strongly about and why?

Well, gay marriage, or, as it's more properly known, "marriage", is quite high on the list. I don't know if I'm the marrying type, or if I'll marry a guy, but it might be quite nice for others to be able to do so without getting attacked by a mob.

Would you rather have a horse the size of a rabbit, or a rabbit the size of a horse- explain your reasoning in no less than 200 words.

LOOK AT IT.

A picture is worth a thousand words, so I'm 816 over the minimum.

Summarize the entire world LGBTQ history in no more than 200 words (ie what you think everyone... absolutely everyone should be told).

All accurate descriptions of me.

This describes most LGBTQ people, so it'll have to do.

Embarrassing confession?

When I was in Year 4 I gained a strange sort of popularity as a kind of wedding planner. You know those cute kiddy-weddings that kids had in the playground? Yeah, I took over organising them and the decorations. I used tinsel and "Congratulations!" banners from our loft - I must've been the campest 8 year old anyone'd ever seen.

Your weirdest dream?

I had a dream where my friend took acid and murdered all of us at college except me, 'cos I killed him in self-defence. Then I got blamed for the murders. It was unfortunate.

Happiest moment you can think of?

Well, everything else aside, when me and Cretzal (and most of the other Homojournalists) slept round someone's house after a party, and he kept doing seal impressions was pretty damn brilliant. 

No, he didn't sing "Kiss From A Rose" to me.

The clueless naivety of the person's father was quite amusing too:

- "I'll get you another sleeping bag."
- "No need, we'll share."
- "Oh no, I won't force you two to share..."
- "You wouldn't be forcing us."
- "...?"

If you could go back and change something about your life what would it be? 

I'd campaign for surgery on my mouth and jaw more forcefully when I was younger. I would've gotten it free as corrective surgery rather than cosmetic, but now it'll cost something like £999,999,999, which I won't have until at least three months of saving. 

If you were stuck on a deserted island which one book, movie and person would you want to take along?

Well, the book's easy: "The God of Small Things", by Arundhati Roy. It's a beautiful book, and you are hereby ordered to go and buy it as soon as you've read this post. Not before though, because that would be rude.

Movie? Well, assuming we have a TV and DVD player, "Easy A" - I AM Olive Penderghast. If not, the "Prisoner: Cell Block H" box set might be useful, as 174 discs could be good for burning, producing heat and smoke so you can be found.

The person?

You could strand us on Mars and I'd be happy - we'd be naked in minutes.

Who, other than your significant other, would we have to give you for sexy-times to get you to give us all your money?

Look directly above the question.

Who would you rather 'have'/'do'/etc - Justin Bieber or One Direction?

There's one Justin Bieber, and he's Justin Bieber. There's 5 people in One Direction, and none of them are Justin Bieber. A sixsome with One Direction, thank you.

Biggest regret/worst thing you've done whilst drunk?

Well, passing out and not finishing this wasn't exactly A* material, was it? Also, I once passed out in a ditch while drinking mead that the friend from the weird dream gave me. Maybe it was a symbolic, prophetic dream.

...god, that took AEONS to type...

Yours sheepishly,

James.

Eli fed me vodka-soaked plums that tasted of coffee, vodka-jelly baby sludge that tasted of diabetes and vodka-soaked raspberries that tasted of sadness. No wonder I passed out. I think she was trying to date-rape me, but I've examined myself and I don't think I have any unaccounted-for marks...

An incredibly short post due to forgetting and having fried my brain with revision, apologies
I'm not really sure what I can say that the others haven't already said (the issue with being the last of the week) but I don't really care what a celebrity's sexuality is. I don't really see how it affects us - they are just people trying to live their lives.
Of course, some of them are straight, some of them aren't, but what does it matter?

If Ian Somerhalder were gay then... then... what?

If this amazing creature - that happens to roam the Earth in his beauty - were gay, the world would not end. Although all my dreams of marrying him would be shattered and he will never realise what a beautiful life we could've had together...

                                     Him                                                   Me

So does his being straight make any difference? I can fantasise all I want but I will probably never meet him (properly), he will not have the chance to notice me and fall in love with me (his loss) and we shan't get married (*cries*). Why would anyone care about his sexuality? Unless one is homophobic. The only "perk" of knowing he is straight is I "know" we are destined to be together

Even if he were openly gay, I would still claim that is only because he has not met me yet 
(a bit of awkward English there)

The same goes for any "non-famous" person. One should only care about their sexuality if they intend to have sex with them or initiate a relationship, whichever rocks your boat. Unfortunately, if the world were as perfect and beautiful as it would be if I were in charge, sexuality would never be an issue; but unfortunately I have not yet taken over the world (one of my year's resolutions) and we live in this crappy place where if one is anything but heterosexual they shall be considered... well... nothing nice.

Referring back to the main point of this week, celebs should not feel obligated to "come out" as it is a scary world and they already go through a lot of crap (it's ok the shitload of money they get compensates), however I would admire the ones who are not afraid to do so. Celebs are role models, whether they like it or not. They have many fans who look up to them and obsess over them, and unfortunately many aren't up for the job. It is a shame that the news is often full of actors and singers who have become addicts and have ended up in jail ruining their lives that way, but it is always important never to forget that they are "normal people" (if such beings exist), just... with the addition of fame and money. 

So what have we learned today? Iam Somerhalder is MINE!!

Oh and we really shouldn't care about celebs' sexuality, stop being so homophobic jeez. 

Love,

Miu xx

P.S. this post was totally on time and has been here all along, I did not happen to dream I had posted and not realise it was a dream once I woke up ;)

Journalists: stop ruining my fantasies

 "LGBTQS celebs, is it really our business?"

Yeash, for the most part, we think it's our business. Celebs are on our tele, in out movies, or newspapers... and on our bedroom walls, some of us spend more time looking at their gorious (?) faces than we spend time with our own mothers. But it is one sided, and reading their gossip makes us feel like we are involved in their lives, that we're getting to know them....

But as much as I like the gossip, I am against it for a number of reasons.. Firstly, the effects it has to the celeb's lives...

"Ellen Page has been forced to turn to the LAPD for help after two Twitter users began threatening to KILL her over the social networking site…and once, even by phone" 

and Secondly,  it kinda ruins it for me to know..


Take for example Justin Bieber.. (urgh, I knows, but it was the only person I could think of at short notice). Apon looking at his picture, one may think "Noms, a baby-dyke"..

Then you find out....

N'aw, a cute lesbian couple.. 

And then..

Wait.. What... He' male?

*sighs* Fantasies ruined. 

byes for now, 

eli x

ps: I think JB and selena have broken up.. not sure.. not that it matters... *shift eyes* 

.......................

Ellen Page story source

Back off bitches, he's mine.

As I sit here, on the wrong day, writing this at short notice with a totally empty stomach and fridge, no effort to go and cook something or do the thirty second walk to the on-campus shop that doesn't sell Terry's Chocolate Oranges (shock horror) and listening to Gershwin's Rhapsody in Blue in preparation for my assignment due next week, I wonder what it is I can say about LGBT celebrities that James and Mel haven't yet covered.

With the deadline to post this on time looming, all I can think of is that I don't really give a damn which celeb bats for which team. I admire their courage - being in the public eye must be difficult enough without having the press throw your private life about the world like a cat with a dead mouse. I don't particularly understand why some celeb coming out on TV or in an interview should be news though; while a lot of straight women would clearly cry their eyes out and a lot of gay men would breath a sigh of joy if someone like Ben Whishaw did come out as gay (even if he isn't, he's still mine, so back off the lot of you, he's all mine. I will hurt kittens), I stand by my opinion of having to come out: it's not news, regardless of who and what you are professionally or how famous you are.

Having said all this, the other half of my brain spends a fair amount of time fantasising about which famous fella I'd get with when I'm a famous film composer... these are just a few examples:

Ben Whishaw (actual sexuality totally irrelevant)

Fucking marry me already.

Russell Tovey (He grew up in the town next to the one I did, I have more right to him than any of you)

I can live with the ears.

Joseph Gordon-Levitt (again, sexuality irrelevant)

Seriously, get in my bed.

James McAvoy (Anything for a scot.)

I don't care about the fact he's married with kids. 

I could continue this list, but I'm hungry and do technically have some work to do... so excuse me while I go and stalk my famous fellas eat food and do my work.

PS - I like to think that the reason Todostrieb didn't post yesterday is because she's too busy stalking her favourite LGBT celeb... Who knows, there's a chance this might actually be the case, so stop telling me otherwise! Eli claims she's ill, I'd like to believe this, in reality we all know she's having hot passionate sex with Prince Poppycock. 'Normal' service should hopefully resume next week.

Better Nate than lever

Better Nate than lever

I’m very sorry this post is late! It’s hard to keep track of the silly linear time units called days you mere mortals are so fond of. But at least you weren’t the friends I stood up, who walked around Stratford looking for me for two hours, when I was actually in bed asleep….

I’ve always said I never wanted to be famous; enough people stalk me as it is. Can you imagine not being able to get the post in your ugly (but amazingly warm) fleece pyjamas, without someone taking a photo of you in all your unwashed glory? Your entire personal life would be up for debate, including your sexual orientation, that can’t be fun. I feel like this is one area the press should stay out of, but they don’t for straight people either, so really it’s promoting an equality of a kind.

One of the main issues I can conceive is if you’re not out, you probably aren’t for a reason; perhaps you’re waiting for the right time to tell your family. Seeing it in the headlines is never a good way to tell your family anything.

However there is the positive role model argument, raising awareness for LBGT issues and suchlike and many celebrities do this admirable. Although, surely straight celebrities could do this anyways? I’m especially fond of straight celebs who don’t bother to deny/address/confirm claims they’re gay, because it doesn’t matter to them. It’s not an insult, or infectious disease…so why care?

Really, I would argue it’s something the media should stay out of, but when has it applied that to any other aspect of anyone’s life. Who wants their diet, weight, love life, sexuality, career, friendships and family examined in public?

I shall end this post with a picture of John Barrowman (sadly I am the wrong gender for him….and he’s happily married):

And here’s a link to the world’s longest joke, where my title is from, if you have some time to kill.

Lots of love,

Todostrieb

Mr Potter, Our New Celebrity

Tell me what would I get if I added powdered root of asphodel to an infusion of wormwood?

If you know the answer to that off the top of you head, stop reading now, turn off your computer and get a life. Here's a short clip for you, because there is absolutely nothing that is not sexy about Pf. Snape / Alan Rickman.

Anyway, our topic of the week is gay celebrities. In a strange twist of fate none of the actors in the Harry Potter films are openly gay (none that showed up in a google search anyway). Is this because of discrimination in the acting world? Maybe. Is this because actors are the best at hiding their sexuality with their mysterious wiles and ability to lie with their entire bodies? Maybe. Is it because roughly 10 % of the population are gay and there's only about 20 actors the average person can name in the film series? Most likely. I'd bet my money on some of the smaller roles being filled by our fellow LGBTs.

I did uncover some interesting rumours about Daniel Radcliffe's sexuality though. I always knew Harry and Draco were destined to be together. If only the slash pairings that existed online also existed in real life.

This brings me onto my main point.

Ben Whishaw is of course, the main point of life.

There’s a lively and ongoing internet debate about whether Whishaw is gay. The general supposition is that he is – based mainly on the fact that he gave an interview to the gay magazine Out not long ago. Whishaw, himself, though, isn’t saying anything.-The Telegraph

I don't see how I can be frustrated about his lack of public speeches regarding his sexuality (as I've managed to convince half the people I know I'm gay, a quarter that I'm straight, and a quarter that I'm bisexual) but somehow I am.

In his interview with OUT magazine (homojournalists may enjoy the website, which has interviews and ideas for venturing out of the house etc) he speaks about the importance of gay role models for young people. He goes on to speak about sexuality being a transitional thing, that he felt he was in the middle of at the moment. I promptly felt guilty for pushing him to chose a team...even though I have never contacted him in any way. Standing outside his house admiring his new curtains doesn't count as contact does it?

Anyway it occurred to me that all the stress we feel when coming out, is magnified hundreds of times if your famous. There's increased pressure to be a role model (so no stumbling drunk out of G-A-Y in the early hours of Saturday morning), and you don't just have to deal with the reactions of those close to you but also those on the other side of the world. Maybe actors as a breed are also more into self exploration etc? If you spend all day pretending to be somebody else, perhaps it takes a little longer to work out who you really are.

So in conclusion I will with great reluctance leave Ben Whishaw to his own devices. (OK I'll admit to the occasional google). But, if he and Daniel Craig were to get married, I would die of happiness. They may in addition to being one of my OTPs as Bond/Q also have made it to my list of real life OTPs as Whishaw/Craig.

I just want to eat him? Is that so wrong?

Lots of Love Mel

Ps// No post script today

Maybe I was hypnotised.

Greetings, Constant Reader! Another week, another topic, and this week brings us the exciting "LGBTQ Celebrities - Is It Anyone Else's Business?".

Now, when I first heard this, I had two immediate thoughts. I could write about someone we know is LGBTQ:

Such as this guy we almost never mention.

Or someone I really want LGBTQ:

Also a relatively unknown guy here on Homojournal.

But no, I shall be unexpected. I won't write about teenage hunks, I shall, for once, target a man of a different kind.

Why, hello there.

That beautiful man there is Derren Brown, and he has long been an inspiration to me. As an illusionist, he gets to paddle around in the more eldritch swamps of most peoples' minds, and his large-scale experiments (often on TV) are some of the most interesting things that have ever been on. I love Psychology, so I love him. According to 16 year old me he didn't even have a sexuality; It'd be like asking about Pikachu's sexuality - sure, some weirdos will be interested, but the majority of us sane folk won't.

Well, turns out those weirdos were onto something. 

But not with this. This didn't need thinking about.

As stated here, Derren Brown IS gay. When I first discovered this (admittedly about 4 years after he came out), I was already writing for Homojournal, and so his sexuality hadn't had any effect on me: his mentalism made me interested in the human mind, but I was always going to be who I am sexually, regardless of who shared his bed with him. And that, I feel, is the main point of this (admittedly brief) post: if they don't want to share it openly, and they're already people who impress and inspire, then why should celebrities have to tell us if they don't identify as straight?

All I'd like is to know if it improves my chances of sleeping with them.

Yours truly,

James

Although seriously, Tom Daley and Ezra Miller are hot enough to melt diamond. Any chance of a foursome? Threesomes generally go badly, but maybe a foursome would work. Plus, imagine what Derren could make the others do...

New Year's Resolutions

I've never really been a big one for New Years resolutions but that's mostly because I really suck at keeping them. So usually I just end up making vague 'this year had better be better than last year' (2010 and 2011 were kind of rocky) or 'new year, new me' type things.

But that's not going to work this year - 2012 was awesome! I got into medical school, came out to my friends (in a very confusing way) and eventually got up the nerve to ask my girlfriend out.

So I've got to come up with something better for 2013. I think the main thing I want out of 2013 is to pass my first year of uni, especially given how badly practice tests have gone! But more generally, I want 2013 to be even better than 2012.

Becky

Plan B - The World Did Not End

Ladies and Gentlemen, I am back. 

Unfortunately we managed to avoid the End of the World and have now entered the New Year. 

Since this was totally unexpected, I found myself unprepared to take on yet another year, this is why I decided to actually write down a list of New Year's Resolutions, something that I have never, ever done before *shock horror*.

Furthermore I wrote it "Old Style": on paper, using a pen (actually two), in a leather bound book! Here is a picture to prove it:

Written using super cool orange and green japanese erasable pens!

For those of you who can't read it, I shall type it out here

New Year's Resolutions

1. Have New Year's Resolutions
2. Stick to my New Year's Resolutions
3. Post on time every time on Homojournal
4. Be happier, or alternatively...
5. Smile more often 
6. Be nicer to my lovely Boyfriend (xx)
7. Exercise, maybe Zumba instead of the gym
8. Be less lazy (not equivalent to the above)
9. Stalk my "friends" until they love me <3
10. Go out more
11. Take pictures (with new Canon EOS 1100D!)
12. Go to the Zoo
13. Read more often
14. Have a reading list
15. Visit friends at Uni (UNI TOUR!)
16. Eat more veggies :S
17. Convince someone to buy me a puppy!
18. Go to Uni
19. Do not lose phone/camera/iPad or anything else
20. Stop hating odd numbers (I wanted my list to end on an even number)
21. Learn more Physics (minutepysics FTW)
22. Take over the world

My New Year's Resolutions Collage (It took me ages so you better appreciate v.v)

Lost: One toenail

My lovely new year’s resolutions (not quite the same ones I made while drunk):

• Write homojournal every week, on time, also finish the new banner
• Go to the gym (ha)
• Embrace renaissance style catholic hedonism
• Never, ever,  ever, do this to my foot ever again

It will grow back right?

Happy new year,

Todostrieb

Anyone Hiring?

Bonjour Homo-journal-ers, 'tis good to be back.

 I have to admit, last september I thought our blog had died and gone to bloggy heaven. Hopefully, this year, we won't all burn out… 

Thus, resolution numero uno: I will blog every week. *stares at everyone else* this is your resolution too.. 

But don't worry, if you forget - my resolution number 2: I will help harass other homojournalists into blogging every week….

Those who post on time shall be rewarded

For the most part, I don't usually do new year's resolutions, because.. 

1) I never manage to keep them

2) I seem to forget them within a couple of days

3) Having a resolution has a negative effect (e.g. I will give up chocolate… fuelled a giant chocolate binge last year)

And lastly, 

4) I can never think of any good ones.. 

...like I need it to be a resolution...

I asked around this year. A lot of people suggested "Why don't you make it your resolution not to have a resolution?" - I do that often.. 

My mother, when asked told me "You've got to get a job.". Urk. 

I quit my job at the local Green Grocers a couple of weeks ago, and since then.. I've been lazy. Hey, it's been the holidays, you can't blame me. 

But yes.. from the new year, 

I shall try to not be. I shall look for another job. 

eli x


ah, and before I forget...

I think I'll need all the help I can get.

What a year 2012 was. Sherlock returned to our TV screens and promptly departed again. The Doctor was tragically separated from the Ponds, and united with Soufflé Girl. I went to New York City and met Troy, saw Wicked, went up the Empire State Building and got up close and personal with Lady Liberty (sort of). I passed the IB better than I expected to, got into University, moved to a different country, got drunk more times than I care to remember, and still don't have a boyfriend. The Queen celebrated her Diamond Jubilee and looked on at all the countries she used to own at the Olympics. Wills and Kate are even expecting a child. Gay men married your girlfriends; gay women married your boyfriends. I got a job; Mitt Romney didn't. Homo-Journal was founded, and then we moved into Hogwarts. I even managed to get a four year old kid to shout "D.I.O" at my friend at the fireworks yesterday. So yeah, it's been a good year.

I think that calls for a party.

As with every New Year, people around the world sit down and decide to take their lives and give it a good shake up; they decide to quit smoking, or stop drinking, or lose weight. Some try their hardest to stop eating junk food, others spend their time cutting down the time they spend on social media or online games.

I keep telling everybody that I don't make New Year's Resolutions, but in reality I've spent the last nineteen years of my life making the same or similar ones over and over again: "I will get a boyfriend" replaced "I will come out" some moons ago.

I fear I will end this way too :(

So, in no particular order, here are my constant, unchanging, New Year's Resolutions, so that when I return to Embankment for the New Year's Fireworks in 2014, my friends can point and laugh at me for not having succeeded at any of them (again):

1. I will find a boyfriend.
2. I will lose weight.
3. I will not make any New Year's Resolutions.
4. I will not run up an £80 tab in the pub after two consecutive nights of student deals.
5. I will make considerable progress with Grade 8 Piano and Grade x Bassoon.
6. I will continue to not engage in any form of sport.
7. I will not run up another overdraft.
8. I will convince my mum that her buying me a car and paying for the insurance is the best idea ever.

Yours ambitiously,

Rory.

PS// This is being posted by Mel due to some very funny goings on and Todostrieb disappearing. Something to do with Bond/Q fanfiction probably. Or maybe I just think that's the answer to everything now?

Have a lobstromonous new year

Well it’s that time of....inbetweenyness. I’ll be writing 2012 on my lecture notes until well into next December but my heart and plans are somewhere buried in 2015. It's been a great year, I survived secondary school and half a year at medical school. I gave up drinking (before NY which granted seems odd). I've made some new friends. I hope your year was as good as mine. But, as ever we look for ways to improve VIVA LA RESOLUTIONS.

Amongst my homojournal resolutions; I will post on time, I will post on time, I do believe in fairies, I do believe in fairies and they are people too: I also have some private ones.

As I’m away from university over the holiday season it means a month away from the gym. I can hear your gasps of suprise now. Yes, me, I, Mel who is lazy to the point of clinical disability goes to the gym regularly. Anyway, as a result of this so far two week but soon to be four week absence I can see that my arms and legs have already lost tone, clearly it has nothing to do with the noodles or pizza. (We’ll ignore my middle parts, the food baby is here to stay, deal with it).

Hence, therefore, thus, furthermore, in conclusion my new year’s resolution is to start an exercise routine I can do from home, and when I get back to uni, one I can do every morning without going to the gym.

In my quest for a workout for lazy nerds with minimal equipment I stumbled across nerdfit. Nerdfit is a site for nerds wanting to get fit....who’d have guessed. Anyway they have lots of user friendly videos and workout plans. Below is a link to the one I’ll be doing. Though, substituting the pull-ups and chin-ups with more press-ups as I’m weak and have no pull up bar, and adding in some V-sit crunches.

http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/2009/12/17/advanced-body-weight-workout-warning-this-will-kick-your-ass/

I warn you this is the advanced one so DO NOT START WITH THIS. They have a beginner version. I’ve gone to the gym on average for 2 hours a day for the last 10 weeks, and this workout is kicking my butt anyway, doing it from scratch will result in zombification and homicide.

Getting fit is probably the most common (if boring) resolution, but don’t take it too seriously. My motto in life is work my arse off in the gym so I can keep up with my pizza addiction. It seems to be working so far, as I feel better but look pretty much the same.

Here are some more links for any homojournalers hoping to get back in shape after the festive season.

The beginner’s body weight work out from Nerdfit.

Fitocracy, a site that makes exercise a video game. Collect points, complete challenges, level up in the game and life.

My fitness pal, a site that helps you balance your exercise with intake. It’s great because it means I can make sure I’m getting the right nutrients and enough pizza : D I hear their mobile apps are good, but lacking a smart phone or tablet I wouldn’t really know.

Lots of Love Mel

PS, sorry this was basically an excuse for me to nerd about my fitness routines and brag a little. The title of this post comes from the big fat quiz of the year on channel 4, which is available for UK readers to watch here...

http://www.channel4.com/programmes/big-fat-quiz/episode-guide/series-9/episode-1

...it comes highly recommended.

New Year's Revolutions

(No, the title is not a typo).

Hello, again. I remember you. You're those people who went out of their way to read the ramblings of 6 teenagers a while ago, spending actual irreplaceable moments of your existence reading about what Miu thought about fetishes and what sprang to Eli's mind whenever bananas came up in polite conversation.

I hope it was worth it.

All this, and you chose to read about Masturbation Month.

As you may know, provided you haven't been sheltering under a rock for the past few weeks, we're in a time of great change here. A new year is dawning, a new Homo-Journalist is joining us (Hi, Becky!), it's all very exciting. With New Year's, though, comes New Year's resolutions, and I always find those difficult. Now, Homojournal as a whole has a New Year's resolution, "WE WILL ALWAYS POST ON TIME, EVERY DAY, UNLESS DEATH, FLOODING OR WILD TIGERS STOP US.", but what about my own personal one? Get in shape? Take up philately?

Both?

Well, this New Year's, I'm going for the jugular.

You see, since Cretzal, I've become something of a romantic door to door salesman, offering myself to whoever seemed interested. It's not that I don't want a relationship, it's that I've become really, really crap at persevering with them. The last 6 months, I've done something (kissing upwards) with 5 people, and, by and large, I can see at least the possibility of a relationship with all of them. Not always a good one, but a stable one at least. So why am I still the relationship equivalent of a non-stick frying pan? 3 of those 5 account for more than one event each, so why haven't I picked one? Why am I still single, completing revolution after revolution on this horrible roundabout of romance?

No, not that roundabout.

So, as of 00:00:00, on the 1st of January 2013, I James I'm-Not-Giving-My-Surname-Away, hereby swear to persevere more with any romantic events that occur, as far as reason and statutory laws will allow, because life's too short to waste flitting unendingly from one place to another

I shall keep you updated, Constant Readers.

Yours determinedly,

James

No, I won't tell you the names of the 5. If you really want to know, do some research of your own, but if I find you outside my house at 04:30, digging through the bins, I'm calling the Police.